I should’ve known better.
I really, really should’ve known better.
My skin prickles as I approach the car park and see them.
Aiden and Silver.
She opens the door and slides into his Ferrari. Silver sits in the passenger seat that used to belong to me.
The urge to go in there and smash her face to the metal overwhelms me. I want — no, I need — to wipe that smug expression off her face for good.
It’s strange how I have all these violent thoughts about Silver when I’m not a violent person.
Aiden wears the usual poker face as he takes the driver’s seat. It doesn’t take long for the car’s engine to rev to life.
Does Silver feel the same excitement I felt at the roar of the engine? Is he taking her hand in his and placing it on his lap?
My feet itch to go after them, open the car’s door, and pull Silver out kicking and screaming.
I bite the knife with its blood, but I don’t move.
Aiden is doing this on purpose after seeing my reaction to Silver this morning.
He knows she gets under my skin and like the usual arsehole, he’s using it in his favour.
It’s a mindfuck. A way to pull a reaction out of me.
But he won’t get what he wants.
“Ugh. That bitch,” Kim groans from beside me. “Are you okay?”
“Why wouldn’t I be?” I force a smile. “I’m the one who dumped him, remember?”
Even as I say the words, I can’t stop the tiny needles from prickling my heart repeatedly.
Death by a thousand needles.
That would be a tragic way to die.
Cole strides inside the car park and stops beside me as Aiden’s car squeals out of the school.
He’s silent for a moment, watching the Ferrari disappear in the distance with an emotionless face.
“Are you okay?” he asks me.
Why is everyone asking that? I am okay.
In fact, I couldn’t feel better.
If Aiden is with Silver then he’ll leave me the hell alone.
That’s exactly what I want.
I don’t trust myself to speak, so I nod once.
Cole nods back, “I’m here if you need anything.”
I’m about to shake my head when I spot Knox coming out of the school. His headphones are on as he scrolls through his phone.
A vindictive idea comes into mind.
An idea that will probably get me into trouble.
But you know what?
Staying out of trouble did me no good, so I might as well crash into it headfirst.
I smile, meeting Cole’s forest-coloured eyes. “Actually, you might. I have a brilliant idea.”
“This is a shitty idea,” Ronan whines. “Quel idiot is behind this?”
“That would be me.” I smile.
Ronan, Cole, Kim, and I are at Ronan’s mansion in one of his usual parties. I swear he throws them every other day.
Today is different. Instead of drowning in alcohol competitions, Ronan is putting his glory on pause to stay with us peasants.
We stand in the spacious kitchen from where butlers shuffle in and out with drinks and snacks.
Rock music thumps from down the hall where the rest of the students are dancing, drinking, and smoking pot.
Aiden and Silver haven’t shown up yet. Actually, unlike the cliché of mean girls, Silver isn’t big on parties. She’d usually sit on a sofa like a queen with her minions surrounding her. Even with her passive participation, she manages to attract the party’s attention and several of her admirers fall at her feet in worship.
The fact that I haven’t spotted her outside means she’s with Aiden. They’ve been together since the ending of school.
I try not to think of what they’ve been doing all this time.
I’ll be doing more than screwing now that you’re out of the picture.
Silver’s words from earlier assault me.
Nope. Not going there.
“Ellie, je t’aime.” Ronan taps the back of his neck. “But I still need my head.”
Cole sighs. “Stop being such a pussy, Astor.”
The three of us gawk at him. It’s the first time I’ve heard Cole say something like that.
“A pussy?” Ronan scoffs, appearing dramatically offended. “I’ll show you what a pussy can do, Captain.”
Cole hums as if he doesn’t believe him and Ronan elbows his captain in the ribs.
“Let’s go, Ellie.” Ronan grins, flinging an arm around my shoulder. “I’ll be your white knight.”
“I don’t need that.”
He feigns sadness. “Yeah, you kind of got yourself a king.”
My lips purse, but I try not to let it get to me.
“Are you sure about this?” Kim asks, her eyes filled with worry.
She’s game for partying, drinking, and the whole teenage scene, but she’s chicken shit when it comes to plotting.
Leaning in so no one can hear her, she whispers, “You know King isn’t the type to be manipulated.”
“I’m not manipulating him. I’m giving him back what he deserves.”
“True that,” Cole offers me a high five that I return.
“Okay, bitches.” Ronan pauses. “Aside from Kimmy and Ellie… so that only leaves Nash and Knight. Wait.” He searches around as if just realising something. “Where the fuck is the devil X?”
True. I didn’t see him for the entire day.
I’m surprised Ronan is just noticing that, though.
“He’s on a family trip for his father’s work,” Kim says with a low tone before she meets my gaze as if she’s caught off guard. “What? He lives across the street, remember? Besides, our parents are friends and the little shit Kir wouldn’t shut up about him. It’s not like I have a choice in any of this.”
“How come I don’t know about that?” Ronan taps his chest. “This shit is bad for my abandonment issues.”
“Do you even check our group chat?” Cole asks.
“Group chat?” Ronan furrows his brows. “Oh, that. Mais, bien sure. I totally know about it.”
“Right.” Cole faces me. “You can go now.”
“Thanks for helping out,” I tell him and Ronan.
“Hey, anything to get a reaction out of King.” Ronan waggles his eyebrows.
“And to teach him a lesson,” Cole adds.
“Now, drink.” Ronan shoves a tequila shot between my fingers. “Ahh, I love ruining the youth.”
With one last deep breath, I chug it in one go. Then another one.
The burning taste brings nausea. I shake my head at the strength of it. Ronan’s phone flashes as he takes pictures from the side.
If I could help it, I wouldn’t have drank, but it’s the only way to make the act believable.
I wave at the guys and leave, weaving through the bodies. Silver’s minions, Veronica and Summer laugh at my face as I pass them by.
“Ex whore,” Veronica snarls.
I flip her the middle finger and continue on my way. They won’t get to me. Not them and not their bitch queen.
But you’re doing all of this because she’s getting to you.
I shut that small voice up as the night’s fresh air hits me. The wind whips my ponytail in front of my face.
I inhale deeply and open the passenger door of Knox’s black Range before slipping inside.
“You okay?” he asks.
“Yeah,” I smile. “Thanks for being my ride. I had a bit of a drink and Kim doesn’t want to leave yet.”
“I’m happy to.” He shakes his head, suppressing a smile.
“What?”
He motions at my face.
I cradle my cheeks, massaging the skin. “There’s something on my face?”
Knox reaches over and plucks a hair from my mouth and tucks it behind my ear. “There.”
“Thanks.” My head hits the back of the seat as nausea threatens to take me over again. “Sorry. I’m not used to drinking.”
“You don’t have to apologise to me.” He weaves through the streets with an easy-grip on the steering wheel. “You know, you can call me even if you don’t need a ride. You’re not with King anymore, right?”
“I was never with him.”
I groan inwardly at the slight slur at the end of my speech.
Good job in being a mess, Elsa.
“That’s… smart.”
My attention snaps back to Knox. Was that a smirk in his words or am I imagining things?
It’s probably the alcohol.
The taste of nausea lingers at the back of my throat, threatening me with vomit.
It’s definitely the alcohol.
Knox and I talk about Cambridge. Like me, his father has great expectations for him.
The more Knox talks about his father, the more it reminds me of Aunt and Uncle.
“Thanks again,” I tell him as he stops in front of my house. “You keep showing up for me when I need you since we met.”
“I’m happy to be of service, my lady,” he says in a Shakespearian tone and even kisses the back of my hand.
I giggle as I stand in front of his car and fake a curtsy. “Night, good sir.”
It takes me two tries to tap in the code of our house.
This is totally the last time I drink.
I freeze at the entrance.
Aunt stands there as if she’s been waiting for me.
Shit. I need to leave before she smells the alcohol on me.
If I knew she’d be here, I would’ve never taken the damn shot.
“A-Aunt? Weren’t you supposed to work tonight?”
“I can’t leave you alone all the time or I’ll die from concern.” She takes my backpack. “Was that Knox just now?”
“Uh, yeah. He picked me up because Kim couldn’t.”
Contemplation covers her features. “Does that mean King is no more?”
“Knox and I aren’t like that.”
“Well, if you have to choose, my vote goes for him.”
I study her for a bit. “Why have you never liked Aiden, Aunt?”
She freezes with the backpack in her hand before she forces a smile, and I know, I just know that there’s something she’s not telling me. “I feel like he’s taking you away. You haven’t been the same since he came into your life.”
She can say that again.
“Wait a minute.” She sniffs the air and my breathing stops when she gets closer to inhale me.
“Is that… were you drinking?” She all but shrieks.
“It was only a glass, I promise.”
Her eyes blur with unshed tears and I feel as if someone jammed a knife into my heart. I don’t like making Aunt upset. What the hell is wrong with me?
“It won’t happen again,” I offer in a small voice. “I’m not even drunk.”
“What if your heart condition relapses? You know how hard we’ve worked to get you stabilised.”
“I-I’m sorry.” God. I feel like the most horrible person ever.
Aunt clutches me by the shoulders and pulls me inside to sit me on the sofa. “A few days ago, you were found drowning in a pool. Then you had an episode in the hospital and now you’re drinking? This isn’t you, Elsie. Tell me what’s going on.”
I want to know the truth. Tell me the truth, Aunt.
But I can’t say that, so I apologise one more time and promise her that it won’t happen again.
We eat dinner together and I try to ignore how she watches me as if I’ll have an episode any second now.
It’s at times like these that I wish Uncle Jaxon was around.
After helping out with the dishes — and Aunt making me drink some soup to chase away the alcohol — I go to my room.
I sit at my desk to work on some homework, but I end up slouching in my seat with a pen in my mouth.
Did the plan work?
Cole or Ronan are supposed to send a picture to Aiden that I ditched the party to go with Knox.
Would that ruin his mood or is he too busy with Silver to care?
Maybe he’s fucking her in his indoor pool as he did to me the other time. Maybe he has her spread-eagle as he eats her the way he devoured me.
My hold on the pen turns painful.
How could he move on with Silver when it’s barely been two days since we ended it?
Since I ended it.
The time frame doesn’t matter. I don’t have the right to question him anymore.
I groan and run a hand through my hair in frustration. I don’t care who he fucks.
Not one bit.
Giving up on homework, I snuggle in bed and pull out my phone.
My heart surges in its cavity at the two texts waiting.
Aiden: Let’s play that game you love so much, sweetheart.
Aiden: Be mine again or…
I refresh the page, searching for his next text, but there’s nothing.
He always offers two options. Where’s the other facet of the coin?
Then it hits me.
He sent those texts after school when he was leaving with Silver.
He wants me to be his again or he’d… what? Fuck Silver?
Is he going to send me a pornographic text of how he fucked her now?
Disgusted, I open Instagram. I unfollowed him the other day, but I search for him anyway.
His last post was after the night he attacked me in the middle of the night.
It’s a black and white picture of a chessboard with all the glass pieces scattered. There’s no caption and he posted the picture around five in the morning.
I scroll in the comments. There’s one from SilverQueens a few hours ago.
Can’t wait for 2nite. Xo.
I click on her profile and something in my heart dies.
Since they left together, I knew it was for this, but I kept telling myself that he wouldn’t do it.
Not after he promised he’d stay away from Silver.
On the picture Silver posted half an hour ago, there’s enough evidence to shut off my delusions.
There’s a selfie of Silver sitting at the edge of the pool, still in her uniform’s skirt. At first glance, she appears alone, but at the bottom corner of the picture, there’s a hand gripping her thigh.
Even if the hand isn’t clear, the pool is.
The same pool in which I felt special.
The same pool in which Aiden made me think that I could live past my fears and my traumas.
And now, he tainted it with Silver.
I throw the phone away and hide my face in the pillow as tears barge into my eyes.
I guess it’s really over now.
