The football team has practice today. We don’t. Coach Nessrine is giving us recuperating time before an upcoming competition.
I love how she takes care of us, but I wish she wouldn’t give us the time off. I need to run like I need air.
Or maybe I just need to keep my mind off things.
Aiden hasn’t spoken to me since he took off from the first class in the morning. He didn’t bug me about sitting with his team at lunch, and he didn’t tell me to watch him practice.
I could’ve gone to him first, but that’s like I admitting I did something wrong.
Which isn’t the case. He’s the one who’s making a mountain out of a molehill.
It doesn’t mean I feel less bad that he’s not talking to me.
Damn him.
I’ve been feeling shitty since the first class.
On my way to the car park, the back of my neck prickles with chilling awareness. I stop at the threshold and spot a black car with tinted windows parked near the exit.
My shoulder blades snap into a rigid line.
It’s the same Mercedes that once followed me home. It’s not a coincidence that it’s now at my school.
The urge to run grips me by the gut.
I need to save myself. I need to —
The car’s engine revs to life and the vehicle slips out of the car park.
I heave out a harsh breath, but the feeling of contempt won’t go away.
One step after the other, I walk into the car park and watch my surroundings.
What if that car returns? Should I report it to the police or something?
My feet stop of their own volition when I meet malicious eyes.
Adam Herran.
He leans against the wall separating the 8th tower from the car park, glaring at me. No. Not glaring. He seems as if he’s barely stopping himself from attacking me.
Adam Herran is the biggest bully in RES.
He made mine and Kim’s life hell these past two years by using every trick in the bullying book. The one who locked me in the showers for five hours? Adam. The one who tripped me on my first day in the cafeteria? Adam.
Last year, Kim received an anonymous love letter. She was over the moon at the thought of someone having a crush on her. Said someone asked her to wait near the 6th tower after school, and she did.
After one hour of waiting, Adam and his goons poured paint and water all over her and laughed in her face.
Who in their right mind would love a fat pig like you? Are you on delusional pills?
Kim ran home crying and after that, she came up with her transformation plan.
Silver, the bitch queen herself, witnessed the event and didn’t appear amused at all.
I was so livid, so humiliated on Kim’s behalf that I went to the principal. And surprise, surprise, Silver was already in the office. She witnessed against Adam along with me.
That got him suspended, but it didn’t stop him.
Now that I think about it, that was practically the only time Silver did a decent thing.
She even told me something once we were out of the principal’s office.
‘You need to pick your battles, Frozen.’ Then she rolled her eyes and buggered off before I could ask her what the hell she meant by that.
Bottom line is, Adam is bad. However, he’s backed off since Aiden stepped up for both of us.
Whoa.
Now that I think about it, Aiden stopped the bullying for Kim and me.
Adam is the captain of the rugby team and somewhat popular. He also has some aristocratic title behind him, but his power doesn’t compare to Aiden or any of the horsemen.
He’s been smart enough to not antagonise Aiden or get on his radar, but his glares chill me out of my skin.
“What are you looking at?” I jut my chin.
“Nothing,” he says with nonchalance, pushing off the wall. “Just waiting to see the clusterfuck you’ll be in.”
And then he’s heading inside the tower.
I want to follow and ask him what the hell he means by that. However, that could be exactly what he wants and I don’t give bullies what they want.
Well, except for Aiden. But that dickhead takes without asking for permission anyway.
Ugh. I really hate that he’s not speaking to me.
Maybe I should text him or —
No. Nope. I won’t cower away.
Kim texts me that she’s waiting for me by the car. I text back that I’m almost there.
When I round the corner, I find her blocking Silver’s way to her car. From the expression on my friend’s face, it seems like she’s taunting her.
I like Kim’s confident change. I really do. But I don’t want her to turn into the bullies who ruined our lives.
We’re bigger than them.
We’re bigger than Adam Herran and Silver Queens.
Hell. We’re even bigger than Aiden King and Xander Knight.
I hurry to them and grip Kim by the arm. “Let’s go. We won’t lower ourselves to their level.”
Silver has the scarf wrapped tightly around her face. She stares at me, but it’s neither of maliciousness or fear. It’s more like with calculation.
I narrow my eyes. Is she trying to challenge me again right now?
“You ruined everything, do you know that?” she asks me.
“What are you talking about?”
“This is a bigger game than you and I, Elsa.”
I pause for a second. That’s the first time she calls me by my actual name. Usually, it’s Frozen this and Frozen that.
Huh. Did it take a beating for her to finally respect me?
“I have one piece of advice for you.”
“We don’t need your advice,” Kim snaps at her.
Silver doesn’t pay her attention and continues in a calm tone. “If you still want King, then stay away from Cole.”
She sidesteps us, then stops. “And oh. You watched me fall. One day, I’ll return the favour and watch you fall, too.”
She storms to her car with fast steps.
“Bitch,” Kim hisses. “You should’ve let me tell her a piece of my mind.”
“We’re not Silver, Kim. We were bullied all our lives, we won’t be those type of people, okay?”
“Whatever.” She throws her hands in the air and stalks to her car.
Great.
Inside, I receive a text.
Knox: Are you free tonight?
I check my texts from Aiden just in case. He’d usually send me his plans. The last few days, his texts were along the line:
Aiden: Today, I’ll fuck you harder than usual because I’m pissed off about the limit.
Aiden: P.S I’m still pissed off.
Aiden: See you at the Meet Up. Don’t wear anything under that skirt or I’ll rip it off.
Aiden: Hmm. I can’t taste you from last night. I’m taking my refill tonight.
There are none of those texts today.
Screw him for ignoring me.
I pull back Knox’s text and type.
Elsa: Sure. What did you have in mind?
Knox: How about I pick you up and then we decide?
I bite my lower lip and scroll back to Aiden and type.
Elsa: Are you going to stop being a dickhead?
He sees it immediately. Isn’t he supposed to be in practice?
Aiden: Are you going to do as I asked?
Elsa: No. I told you that you don’t control my life. I’ve given you enough leverage already.
He sees it, but he doesn’t reply.
You know what? Damn him. I’m not going to play this game.
I pull Knox again and type.
Elsa: Sure!
After we agree on the time, I pocket my phone in my backpack with a smile.
Aiden can go suck it.
“You’re planning trouble, aren’t you?” Kim asks from beside me.
“Why would you say that?”
“You have this almost sadistic look in your eyes and a smirk when you do.”
“Really?”
“Uh-huh.” She laughs. “I’m teensy bit starting to regret asking you to live an adventure.”
“Did I always have this expression?” I frown.
How come I never knew about it?
“Sometimes.” She glances at me. “Are you okay?”
It’s the usual question she, Aunt, and Uncle ask.
As usual, I smile. “Why wouldn’t I be?”
“Just checking.” She grins. “You want to join me and Kir for mac and cheese?”
“I’d love to, but I’m going out with Knox.”
“You’re kidding, right?”
“No, why would I?”
“Eh, I don’t know, Ellie. Because of King? He’ll flip his shit if he hears you’re going out with Knox.”
“Knox is a friend who saved my life. Aiden should get used to it.”
She taps her fingers on the steering wheel. “You’re right. I know that, but King has no filter whatsoever. He treats you like I’ve never seen him treat anyone else.”
“And how is that?”
“Like he wants to shield you from the world. I don’t think you even notice it, but sometimes, he looks at you like he can’t breathe without you. And believe me, that’s not the King everyone knows.”
I tighten my hold on the backpack. “What are you saying, Kim?”
“All I’m saying is; if he feels this intensely towards you, he’ll react tenfold worse if you threaten him.”
“You’re my friend. You’re supposed to be on my side.”
“I am, Ellie.” She sighs. “That’s why I’m telling you not to stir King’s ugly side.”
Aunt and Uncle come home early. It’s so rare that I can’t help hugging them more than needed.
Then I find out they’re only coming to check on me before going back to work.
I contemplate cancelling with Knox just so I can get some alone time with them and maybe have dinner together.
“No, hon.” Aunt ruffles my hair. “Go and have fun. Don’t let us keep you here.”
“I’m sure Knox will understand,” I argue.
“Go on. Don’t keep him waiting. He seems like a nice boy.”
“We’re just friends, Aunt.” I take a carrot and munch on it. I need to keep my stomach full in case Knox takes me to dinner in a place where they don’t serve my special food.
She grins. “Sure thing, Elsie.”
“Stop it, Blair.” Uncle comes behind me and massages my shoulder. “You go and have fun, pumpkin.”
I nod, glancing back at him.
Since the pool accident, I can’t help noticing the change in Uncle’s demeanour or at least the way he looks at me. It’s like he’s torn inside and doesn’t know how to communicate it.
He releases me and heads upstairs, probably to freshen up before they’re out again.
“I’m going to change,” I tell Aunt and she beams at me.
I take the steps two at a time so I can follow Uncle. I freeze at the top of the stairs when I find him standing in front of my room.
He’s clutching his briefcase with the jacket on top. His shoulders are drooped and he gazes at my room with utter sorrow as if he’s about to cry.
My own eyes fill with tears at the sight.
What is it, Uncle? What is it that you’re not telling me?
He shakes his head and continues to his room.
“Uncle…”
He stops and turns around with a smile plastered on his face. The smile falls when he meets my gaze. A tear must’ve fallen on my cheeks because I taste salt.
I don’t even know why I called him or why I’m crying, I just know that I need something.
Uncle lets the briefcase and the jacket fall to the ground and hurries towards me.
“What is it, pumpkin? Are you okay?”
I nod, but more tears fall on my cheeks and my lips wouldn’t stop trembling. I don’t want to worry him.
What the hell is wrong with me and these tears coming out of nowhere?
“I’m sorry.” I wipe at my eyes with the back of my hand. “I don’t know where these tears are coming from.”
“It’s okay. Come here, pumpkin.” He wraps his arms around me and I’m a goner.
A complete utter goner.
I couldn’t stop the tears even if I wanted to.
My nails dig into his shirt and I inhale his aftershave with the scent of cinnamon and citrus.
A scent from my childhood.
It’s like I’m that little girl again. That seven-year-old girl who slept in Uncle’s embrace for weeks because I couldn’t fight off the nightmares.
Back then, Aunt would sleep on a chair because I didn’t want her with us. I couldn’t sleep if she touched me.
“It’s okay,” he soothes, caressing my back. “I’m here for you, pumpkin. No matter what happens, you know that I love you, right? You’re the only child I ever had and ever will.”
I nod in his chest, gripping his shirt tighter.
“What’s going on?”
At Aunt’s voice, I break away from Uncle wiping my eyes, but I keep my back to her.
Damn it.
I don’t want Aunt to see me this way either.
“Elsa was just having a bit of exam stress, right, pumpkin?”
I nod, not turning around.
“Go on and change.” Uncle smiles down at me. “Your friend will be waiting.”
I run to my room.
“Elsa,” Aunt calls, her footsteps sounding behind me. “What’s going on?”
“Let her go, Blair.”
I’m glad Uncle stops her as I go into my room. I barge into the bathroom and wash the itch beneath my hands. That stupid itch that wants to break free.
After freshening up, I change into simple skinny jeans and a tank top.
It’s going to be okay.
I think.
My phone vibrates.
My heart flips at the thought that it’s Aiden. I need him so much right now. I wish he’d just text me something.
Anything.
If he tells me it’s okay to have a life and my own decisions, I’ll cancel with Knox.
I’ll go to him instead.
Knox isn’t the one I want to see right now. It’s strange that when I’m a mess and need comfort, Aiden is the first one who comes to mind.
The text is from Knox, telling me he’ll be here in a few minutes.
Disappointment tugs at my stomach.
Of course, Aiden wouldn’t forfeit. It’s always his way or the highway.
Screw him.
I turn off my phone.
After pulling my hair into a ponytail, I exit my room. I’m about to go downstairs when I hear hushed yells coming from Aunt and Uncle’s bedroom.
The door is closed, but I do something I never did before.
I tiptoe closer. No sound comes out. Was I always able to move this silently?
I glue my ear to the door and listen in on their conversation.
“Enough is enough, Blair!” Uncle hisses. “Can’t you see that she’s stressed?”
“She’ll get better with Dr Khan,” Aunt replies with that air of confidence.
“She can’t get better from a disease she doesn’t know about. You can pretend all you want, but she’s remembering, Blair. She’s smart to know those recurring nightmares mean something.”
“She’s not remembering,” there’s a note of panic in Aunt’s voice.
“Even if she isn’t, she will soon. Or those people will come for her.”
People? What people?
“She’ll choose us.” Aunt’s tone hardens. “Elsa will choose us.”
“Even if she does, you can’t pretend that all of this is okay just to protect yourself.”
“Protect myself?” I can almost imagine Aunt scoffing. “I did everything to protect her. I don’t want her to go back to that phase of her life, I wanted her to start anew. I thought you wanted that for her, too.”
“I do, but as Dr Khan said, she can never really move on if she hasn’t dealt with the trauma.”
“She’s dealt with it by forgetting all about it.”
“She was a seven-year-old child, Blair! That was her only defence mechanism. It doesn’t mean she dealt with it. She didn’t know how to deal with it at that age.”
“And you think she does now?”
“She needs to know.” His voice softens and my heart breaks. “Are you blind to the lost look and the tears in her eyes? Are you blind to her screams after the nightmares? Because it cuts me over every time.”
“She’ll be fine. She will.”
“Fuck this, Blair!” He yells. “I won’t let her suffer just so you won’t feel guilty.”
“Keep your voice down,” she whisper-yells.
I glue myself further into the door, my heart almost beating out of my chest.
“I’m done, Blair. Okay? I’m done keeping her in the dark just because you don’t want her to hate you. If you don’t tell her, I will.”
“You don’t know the whole story.”
“I’ll tell her what I know.”
“Shut up, Jaxon.”
“I won’t shut up. You need to face that you abandoned her and her mother when they needed you the most.”
“I did not and you know that.”
“You ran away and never looked back. Elsa lost her mother and family because of it.”
My knees shake and I can’t remain standing. No other sounds come out, and I quietly leave from their door.
My heart slams in my chest.
Thump.
Thump.
Thump.
Aunt abandoned us?
What is that supposed to mean?
Aunt didn’t abandon us. She saved me. She couldn’t have saved me if she abandoned me. Uncle must be wrong.
He has to be.
