I’m distracted out of my mind during the dinner with Knox.
He brought me to the coffee shop where Aiden and I usually have our meals. I’m surprised he knows such a place exists.
Even with the familiar setting and Knox cracking jokes, I can’t concentrate.
I’ve been picking at my salad, but I barely took a bite.
My legs bounce under the table. I emptied the hand sanitiser, but the itch under my skin wouldn’t go away.
The conversation between Aunt and Uncle keeps playing at the back of my mind on an endless loop.
He said she abandoned us. Abandoned us.
And I lost Ma because of that? How so? How the hell did that happen?
“Elsa?”
My head snaps up at Knox’s voice. I’m gripping the fork so tight, my knuckles are white. I think my face is the same, too.
“Sorry.” I force out an awkward smile. “I’m a bit distracted tonight.”
“It’s okay. We can do this another time if you like.”
“Absolutely.” I glide my fork in the salad. “I’m really sorry, Knox. I love your company. I’m just not in my right state of mind.”
“Family problems?”
I wince. “Sort of.”
“I completely understand. I also have an overbearing father.”
“You do?”
“He’s a control freak and is hardly satisfied with anything. I think he rubbed off on me.”
I smile despite myself. “You’re not a control freak, Knox.”
“I can be.” He grins. “Anyway, all I’m trying to say is that parents are like that. I try to be a good son and give him what he wants even if it can be nearly impossible.”
I clutch his arm briefly. “I’m sure he’s proud of you.”
“That’s what I hope.” His eyes appear lost for a second. “I want to be his favourite son.”
“I’m sure you are.”
He shrugs. “Not yet, but I found an opening to snatch the position. Anyway, I understand how it feels to have parents expect a lot from you.”
If only it were about that.
Aunt and Uncle’s expectations are Cambridge, and I’m already sold on that. But this is bigger and more dangerous.
How am I supposed to deal with secrets from the past?
On our way outside, I catch sight of the middle-aged man sitting at a back table.
He’s the same man who usually sits upstairs.
It’s a weird, out-of-body experience to see him change the setting. He was a part of the decor upstairs when Aiden and I are together.
That makes me miss Aiden.
Damn him.
He couldn’t be there for me when I need him the most.
Knox has to go pick up his father, but he offers to drop me off first. I decline and take a taxi. I already burdened him enough for the night.
The traffic is suffocating, it takes me about an hour to get home. I’m physically and mentally exhausted as I punch in the code and go inside.
I stand in the darkness of the entrance, arms falling on either side of me.
Tears fill my eyes and I fight the need to collapse in the entryway.
It’s absolutely terrifying to stand here at the place I’ve called home for the past ten years and feel like a stranger.
Like I don’t belong.
The walls. The darkness. All of it seems wrong.
I’m not supposed to be here.
My home is in Birmingham.
I close my eyes at the random thought. I have nothing in Birmingham and certainly no one.
London is my home. This is my home.
So what if Aunt abandoned us? She came back for me and raised me like her own daughter. She once told me that she and Uncle Jaxon decided early on in their relationship to not have children because their life goals would clash with the care they need to provide for a child.
But after they got me, they decided that I’m the only child they would ever have.
They sacrificed a lot for me by taking loans out for my heart surgery. I can’t be an ungrateful brat just because of what I heard earlier.
Even if it still hurts to know that Aunt abandoned her sister and only sibling once upon a time.
I guess I’ll have to wait until she tells me the reasons herself.
I hit the light switch and hang my coat.
My feet stop of their own volition at the lounge’s area entryway. I gasp, the bag falling from my hand to the floor with a thud.
Aiden sits in the chair opposite the entrance. His elbows rest on his thighs and his fingers interlace under his chin.
His metallic eyes appear glassed over as he watches me with a chilling, haunting interest.
“You scared the shit out of me.” I search around him, expecting to find Aunt or Uncle.
But they should be at work. Uncle texted me earlier that they’ll be pulling another all-nighter.
“What are you doing here?” I remain rooted in place, not daring to get close.
He looks on the verge of combusting if someone touches him.
“I told your Uncle I forgot my textbook and he gave me the code.”
Of course, he did. Uncle likes Aiden more than he cares to admit.
“We both know that’s a lie,” I say.
He motions at the table where a textbook lies. “I did leave it, but I did it on purpose in case something like this comes up.”
“Something like this?”
“The whole masquerade you’re doing.”
I hate the neutral way he speaks with. It’s like he’s preparing for the punch. I’m nearly fidgeting, waiting for the other shoe to drop.
Aiden is never good when he’s pissed off. He’s never good when he’s calm either.
I watch him closely, he’s still in RES’s uniform, minus the jacket. That means he didn’t go home.
My eyes widen when I notice the red marks in his knuckles. I run towards him and sure enough, his knuckles are bruised and the skin is reddening and cracked in some places.
“W-what happened?” I search his face for a sign that he’s hurt. There’s a small bruise at the side of his eye, near the mole. Other than that, he appears fine.
Aiden isn’t the violent type. He’d rather manipulate his way out of any situation. After all, he lives by being smarter, not stronger.
“Aiden?”
He remains silent, staring ahead.
I lower myself to his level so I can watch him properly. “What is it?”
He grabs my wrist and I cry out as he yanks me down. I fall on his lap, sitting sideways on his hard thighs.
“I sent you a text to meet, but you ignored me and went out with the new boy.”
He sent me a text? Does that mean he was willing to compromise? I don’t know why that makes me happy.
I place a hand on his shoulder. “I turned off my phone and forgot —”
“In our coffee shop.” His hand wraps around my waist so tight, it’s like he’s gripping my bones. “You took him to the place that should be ours. Why did you do that, hmm?”
Shit. I didn’t think about it that way. Besides, how would I know Aiden would be watching? Now, he’ll think I did it to spite him which was absolutely not the case.
“I didn’t take him there,” I soften my tone. “He’s the one —”
“How would it feel if I took Queens there, hmm?” He’s still talking in the frightening calm voice.
My temper flares at the mere mention “Don’t threaten me with Silver.”
“Do you realise what a fucking double standard that is?”
“It’s not a double standard because Knox is just a friend. Silver is your ex or fuck buddy or whatever. It’s different.”
“Nothing is different.” His free hand reaches to my throat and he strokes the pulse point. “You know I hate feeling threatened, but you went ahead and did it. You went ahead and fucking pushed me.”
I try to get off him, but he grips my thigh sitting me back down. “I warned you. I’m fucking crazy when it comes to you.”
He’s mad. I can see it in his metallic gaze. The busted knuckles aren’t helping either.
This is the volatile side of Aiden that I should be wary of.
The monstrous side that grandmothers warn their grandkids about.
Still, I keep my chin high. “You took Silver to our pool, too, remember? To spite me.”
“I didn’t take her. She went there herself.”
“Oh, yeah. You just sat with her then. I saw the picture on her IG.”
“That wasn’t me.”
“Then who was it?”
“No one you should worry about, and don’t change the subject. This is about you, sweetheart.”
He flips me around and I cry out as my knees hit the floor. I end up half-lying against the sofa.
“I guess I have to remind who you belong to, huh?” He yanks down my jeans and cold air hits my backside. “I’ll fuck you until you can’t move let alone think about anyone else.”
A tendril of excitement and fear shoot through me. As much as I crave Aiden’s intensity, he’s volatile right now.
Besides, I told him he won’t touch me without telling me a tidbit of his story.
He’s off guard and blinded by anger, so it might be my perfect chance to get something out of him.
You’re playing with fire, Elsa. You’ll burn.
I would rather burn than lose to him all the time.
He yanks the tank top over my head leaving me in only my underwear.
“You’ll pay for every second you spent with him.” He grabs my arse cheeks harshly. “A friend? Fuck that and fuck him for making you think that.”
“What are you talking about?”
“He doesn’t look at you as if you’re a friend. He looks at you like he wants to threaten what’s fucking mine.” The sound of a zipper comes from behind me. “We’ll fix that. You’ll let me fuck you until you can’t move, and then you’ll beg for more, hmm, sweetheart?”
I suppress a moan trying to claw its way out. If I show that I like this, Aiden will take full advantage and consume me until there’ll be nothing left.
“Tell me something.” I grip the sofa’s edge.
He tsks. “You lost the right to negotiate when you fucked up and broke my rules, sweetheart.”
“You don’t have rules.”
He yanks my bra open, letting it fall to the ground. My breasts bounce free and my fully erect nipples throb as they brush against the sofa’s edge.
“I do now.” He reaches a hand and pinches my nipple so hard, I gasp. “You don’t go out with other guys. You don’t look at them. You don’t fucking breathe near them. Is that clear?”
I purse my lips shut, refusing to let him have the satisfaction of seeing me agree.
He rips my underwear down and I jolt at the friction. My eyes flutter closed for the briefest bit.
Oh, God.
If he keeps touching me this unapologetically, there’s no way I’ll be able to resist him even if he tells me nothing.
His hard cock nuzzles between my thighs, threatening at my entrance. “I didn’t hear your answer. Is that fucking clear?”
When I say nothing, he pulls my arse cheeks apart with rough hands and glides his cock to my other hole.
My eyes widen and I fist the sofa harder. “A-Aiden? What the hell are you doing?”
“Waiting for your answer,” he sounds casual, but I recognise the darkness in his tone. “And contemplating fucking you here. Hmm. It’s the only hole I haven’t claimed yet.”
His cock pushes more into me, slightly stretching from behind.
My shoulder blades tighten with fear. He wouldn’t do it, right? I heard anal takes a lot of preparation and shit.
“Just so you know.” He leans in to whisper in hot sultry words. “It’ll fucking hurt.”
I gulp, but that doesn’t stop the tiny bursts of pleasure clenching my core.
There’s really something wrong with me.
He’s threatening to fuck my arse for the first time and I’m freaking turned on.
It takes me a second to get my bearings together.
“Tell me something, Aiden. Anything.”
“Why should I? I can just take from you. Hmm.” He trails a finger from my pussy to my arse, smearing my wetness around his cock that’s still at my back entrance. “You’re so fucking wet already.”
“A deal is a deal, Aiden.” I clamp my lips around the moan trying to clamp its way out. “You’re breaking it right now.”
“And I’m supposed to care about that?”
“Yes, you are! Because it’s hurting me inside.”
He stops for a beat. I think he’ll withdraw or something but he only slides his cock to my entrance, the tip settling there.
“Not like you did.”
“Stop saying vague things like that.” My eyes rim with tears. I don’t know if it’s because what I overhead from Aunt and Uncle or the way Aiden is mad at me or my nightmares.
Or all the above.
But right now, I want him to hold me. I want him to lower himself once.
Just once.
I want him to be there for me.
I try to turn around, but he grips my head and slams my face down against the sofa.
“I want to look at you,” I murmur.
“And I don’t.”
“Aiden, please.”
“I might not seem like it but I’m so fucking mad at you right now.”
“I might not seem like it, but I need you so fucking bad right now.”
A beat of silence goes. Two.
Three —
Aiden slowly peels his hand from my hair and pulls back enough to turn me around.
I glance up at him through blurry eyes. I feel like a mess.
All of it is a freaking mess.
He pulls me in his arms and lies me on the sofa and then he’s hovering over me, pulling himself on his elbows to not crush me.
The look in his eyes is like nothing I’ve seen before. It’s full of hate, but at the same time, there’s that thing.
Something I’ve seen before. Something like… affection?
But Aiden doesn’t do affection, right?
I reach a hand and run my fingertips over the side of his eye and that mole I fell in love with the first time I met him.
His face tenses and his shoulders stiffen the more I touch him. He grabs my hand and slams it on the sofa above my head.
He seems on the verge of something. What, I don’t know.
“Aiden.”
“Stop.”
“Stop what?”
“Stop calling my name with that tone. Stop looking at me with those damn eyes and engraving yourself under my fucking skin.”
My heart beats faster. This means I’m affecting him, right?
“You want me to tell you something, sweetheart? Anything?” He grits out.
I nod once, unsure where he’s going with this. He thrusts deep inside me. I arch off the sofa with the force of it.
Holy shit.
I think I’m going to come right here right now.
“You’re lucky, Elsa. You’re so damn lucky I like you enough to fuck up everything for you.”
And then he claims my mouth in a passionate, rough kiss.
