Snug in my bed in the women’s dormitory, I pondered sending a text to Maddock. Something dirty that reflected where my thoughts lingered after two spectacular orgasms and kinky outdoor sex.
But I didn’t have his phone number. Cameron had given him mine, but he’d never used it.
As if summoned by divine intervention, my screen lit with a text from an unknown number.
Found him. Madd.
The accompanying picture was a screenshot of a text from Max, giving us his whereabouts.
I saved Maddock as new contact then hit ‘reply’.
Rory: Do you think he somehow sensed we were boning?
Maddock: I seriously hope not.
Dots on the screen showed me he was constructing a second message.
Maddock: Grinning at ‘boning’.
My own smile tweaked my lips.
Rory: Then we have a plan for tomorrow. Find then yell at Max, I mean.
Maddock: Yup. With time to sightsee on the way.
I liked the sound of that so much. Today’s tour of the Highlands had given me one heck of a bug to keep exploring.
And the evening activities had given me an even bigger desire to get more time alone with Maddock.
I tapped out a reply, running my teeth over my lower lip.
Rory: Maybe more boning, too, if my vagina has recovered. You put my dildo to shame.
Dots appeared on the screen. Then disappeared. Then they sprang back with a message speeding after.
Maddock: Fuck, sweetheart. Now I have an erection in a roomful of snoring guys.
Rory: You’re welcome. Goodnight.
To be cute, and to tease him for his grumpy opinions earlier, I added a quick extra line.
Rory: Love ya.
Maddock: Dangerous words to a man whose mind has just been blown.
At this, I stashed my phone and smiled to myself until I fell asleep.
The following morning, I took a lukewarm shower then scrounged the use of a hairdryer, putting effort into getting ready.
Maddock waited at the car when I emerged into the pale day.
His gaze soaked me in, but he held still, his hands jammed into the pockets of his hoodie.
This had the potential to be awkward, cold light of day and all that, but I wasn’t about to allow it.
I marched right up and pressed on my toes to kiss his cheek. “Morning.” Then I continued to the passenger side. “Want to find somewhere for breakfast first, or just drive?”
Maddock watched me for a long moment then yawned big, snapping his hand to his mouth. “Sorry. Bad sleep. Some jerk snored the whole night. I never shared a room before, so that was a shocker. Need caffeine.”
“Want me to take the wheel instead and you close your eyes? It’s a long way.” I’d checked it out on the map earlier, and the drive time was over three hours.
“Dinna be daft.”
“I’m not.” I breezed right back around the car and took the keys from his hand. “We can pick up coffee and you rest up. I have plans for you later, so you’ll need your energy.”
His gaze darkened, and he muttered something but did as I suggested.
With a stop-off for food, I got us underway.
Like yesterday, pretty countryside lined our route. Mountains, lochs, and autumn colours washed through with a fine rain. We retraced our steps to Ullapool, and I relaxed into driving. Maddock alternated between watching me and the road, before pulling his hood over his eyes. Something was troubling him, I sensed the weight of it.
He was conflicted over me and his brother, I knew that. I had no such worries, except a small glimmer of concern prickled my consciousness. Originally, I’d intended a fling with Max. A meaningless sexual workout with a guy who wouldn’t take it seriously. Who wouldn’t look to me for more.
Someone it would be easy to walk away from and remain friends.
Maddock was a different kind of man. Thoughtful. Purposeful.
I’d been the one to propose we take what we needed, but that was on my terms. Maybe I’d been insensitive without realising it.
I glanced at the clock on the dash. We’d set out at ten, and it was closing in on midday now. Knowing the road to be remote, Maddock had bought lunch, so we had supplies. No reason to stop.
I just wished he’d come back to life and talk to me. His occasional comment showed me he wasn’t sleeping, but he was definitely lost in his thoughts.
Then his voice broke the silence of the car. “What do ye want to happen when we see Max?”
I blinked, not expecting the question. “I have a small speech prepared about him being an oversized man-child, but…” I chewed my lip. “The real conversation is between you guys. Your relationship is the one that needs fixing. I’d like my friend back, but I’d like to see you two talking more.”
More silence. Then he sucked in a breath.
“I owe ye an explanation. The shite between my brother and I is nothing to do with ye, but you’ve become caught up in the middle of it.”
“Then talk. This is over a woman, right?”
I peeked around to find his troubled gaze fixed on the road ahead.
“One night, I was in a pub near home, a few drinks inside of me, when a lass came on to me. I bought her a drink, and we danced, the place too loud for much conversation. I figured she was looking for the same kind of thing I was. A good time with no strings attached.” He gave a harsh laugh. “I didn’t even ask her name. If I think back on it now, I was a fucking idiot. She must’ve been upset, but I wasnae seeing that at the time. She led me outside, and we had sex.”
Disgust filled his tone, and the scene turned darker in my mind.
I grimaced. “Who was she?” Except I’d already guessed the answer.
“Max’s girlfriend. I knew nothing about her, never met her. None of my family had. I’d been away at uni when they’d had a fast and intense short relationship which had ended in a traumatising split just before I got home.”
“Did she just up and tell you after the deed?”
“No. She left, and another woman who knew she’d dated my brother came over and yelled at me for kissing her. Luckily, she hadnae seen more. I have no idea why the lass targeted me, maybe from revenge or to sever the link with my brother more permanently, but when Max found out, his look of pain nearly tore me in two.”
“How did he find out?”
“I told him. It was the morning after, and that confession, face to face in his bedroom, was one of the worst times of my life. A few strained sentences destroyed everything. The two of us are very similar, particularly in how we see each other. We always competed, always took delight in annoying the other. Our family thought we hated each other, but that wasn’t true. We just enjoyed fighting within the safe boundary of knowing we could never truly hurt the other. The maximum damage could always be repaired.” He scrubbed his face with his hands. “Except for this last time. I still know nothing about the lass. He’s never spoken about her to me. Never asked any questions about what happened that night. I know from Ma that Max had been in love, probably for the first time. The lass leaving broke his heart. My act destroyed the pieces.”
Any number of platitudes raced into my mind. What a horrible situation. The only person who knew what they were doing was the woman, and presumably she was suffering, too, if she’d just broken up with Max. Maddock had been a bystander, in a way. I got now why casual sex didn’t appeal to him, if this was the kind of damage it could cause.
I also knew better than to say any of this.
Then I saw the bigger picture, in how Max wasn’t acting out about me when he saw me kiss his brother, instead just repeating a pattern of extreme pain. I hated that I’d contributed to that.
“Shit, then I walked right on in, waving a box of condoms and neatly dividing the two of you again.”
“Dinna be daft. I already told ye this was nothing to do with ye. Ye bring only good things, Rory.”
But fresh realisation dawned. My mouth worked ahead of my brain engaging. “I don’t. That’s far from true. I was the result of a one-night stand. Mom cheated on my stepdad, who she loved beyond anyone. Still does, even though he left her. I grew up thinking he was my dad until I was a teenager and the real deal showed up.”
Maddock swore then reached for my arm, giving a gentle squeeze before retreating. “That must’ve been rough. Still nothing to do with ye, though. That was all other people’s actions.”
“To an extent, but then I became intrinsic to it because I had to keep it secret. Living an awkward lie for the sake of keeping Mom happy.”
“Your stepdad didn’t know?”
“He did, but it was never acknowledged until recently. After Mom confessed to me, his behaviour when I was growing up made sense. He was always passive-aggressive with me and treated Mom like she owed him something. All that resentment grew over the years, never being resolved. My point is that we can’t let that happen with you and Max. Your brother is stubborn, right?”
Maddock snorted. “Aye.”
“Then you need to talk about this with him. Maybe not the details he doesn’t want to hear, but about how the two of you go on together. How you rebuild your family. So to answer your question, the focus of the conversation when we get to Durness isn’t on me. I’ll just be there in the background ready to give you both a kick up the ass. Consider this Operation: Fix the Twins’ Relationship.”
If Maddock thought this a possibility, he didn’t say. But he was here on this trip. His intentions were good.
I cared enough about both of them to try to be the glue.
We continued on the lonely road, Maddock reverting back to brooding quiet.
If anything, the difficulties the brothers found themselves in only cemented my own view of relationships and love.
Trusting another person with such a fundamental part of your makeup was always going to be high-risk. Mom was obsessed with her husband. She loved him so much, and yet she cheated on him with my birth father early on in their relationship.
Love was dangerous, that was for sure. Honesty was the only way.
We took a short picnic at the most picturesque ruined castle by the side of the road. Ardvrek Castle, a sign told us. But even this pretty place couldn’t lift our mood. Tension built steadily the closer we got to Durness. A confrontation was coming, and neither of us could call how it was going to go.
Back in the car, Maddock took over driving, and I read my messages out loud.
“Pen Godson replied. Her message is weird, though. She said, ‘Sorry, can’t help you. Ask my brother next time you see him. I’m sure that will be before I do.’” I squinted at Maddock. “I haven’t seen her brother, Johnnie, in over a year. He came up to me at a party and was all handsy.”
“I want to kill him,” Maddock quipped. He comically throttled the steering wheel.
I grinned and moved to the next message. “Oh, this is interesting. Jessica, one of my old roommates, says, ‘Don’t ask me for money, I’m begging. If you need help with a bill, hit up Stafford Jackson. He’s loaded now. His dad runs this mega successful company, and Stafford is on the board. I bet he’d help.’” I whipped my head around. “Finally, someone with access to cash.”
“Still wouldn’t explain why he’d randomly dispose of a cool million,” Maddock reasoned.
This was true, but any further conversation was stunted. A road sign on the narrow, empty highway welcomed us to Durness.
Both Maddock and I fell into silence, and my stomach tightened with anxiety over how this was going to go down.
Ahead, the village held Max. We’d tracked him down and had one chance to make this right.
My time alone with his twin was almost up, and I didn’t know which part of that concerned me most.
