I never wanted to be like my mother. Didn’t everyone say that? And yet it appeared unavoidable.
My plane touched down on Scottish soil, and I curled into my seat, tired from no sleep and stressed to the maximum.
When I left the States, Mom had waved me off as if she had no care in the world. She’d even said that if she’d felt a little better, she might’ve considered going with me. But baby steps. We’d visit Elise together another time.
I wish I could’ve been happy that her depressive episode was over, but no.
All of this came from her re-emerging obsession with my stepdad. Over the Christmas holiday, after finally persuading her into staying at my aunt’s, Mom had taken secret phone calls. Love shone from her, and her mood, her eating, her very essence had perked up to normal levels.
It was only a matter of time before it all came crashing down again.
The cabin crew opened the doors, and I sucked in a breath.
Yet that worry paled to my other.
Three days. That’s all I had to make it through. Be there for my sister. Break things off with Maddock. Slink home to lick my wounds.
The wedding would be tricky. I couldn’t wait to see Elise as a bride, but I’d be standing near Maddock, knowing he hated me for what I had to do.
Except there was no choice.
I grabbed my bag from the overhead locker and made my way off the plane.
For the first time ever, I wished I’d had my sister’s acting skills. But I was only me.
A replica of an obsessed woman.
My emotions had grown to dangerous and unhealthy proportions. I’d painted Maddock’s abandonment like a crazy person, having daily nightmares about losing him in the snow. In other dreams, I was the pilot trying to find him. Chasing over dark ground with failure my only outcome.
Mirroring how our relationship was doomed from the start.
Caring about someone sucked. Yet at least I wasn’t so far gone that I’d lost sight of reality. Protecting Maddock had become more important than protecting myself. He didn’t ever need to know how I felt. Ending things now meant he never risked his heart. That was all that mattered.
In that, at least, I differed from Mom. I couldn’t allow anyone to hurt as a result of my misplaced feelings except myself.
In Inverness airport’s immigration queue, I tried to settle my nerves. I still had time to compose myself. My sister and Cameron would collect me, and wedding talk would dominate the ride home.
But in the arrivals lounge, Maddock stood at the barrier.
My heart squeezed painfully, and he stared at me as I soaked up the sight of him.
In most ways, he was exactly the same. Same shock of auburn hair, same stature and bearing. The weather-burn damage to his skin had healed, but something else was different.
I moved closer, keeping the barrier between us. From the start, I’d intended to keep things cool between us. Not fly into his arms like I’d done in LA. But like the obsessive I’d become, I puzzled over the minute change I couldn’t quite figure out.
Maddock’s singular focus drew me in.
“Rory,” he said, the timbre of his voice so familiar.
Wait…
In a flash, I had it.
Taking off, I rounded the divider and strode right up to him. Then I placed my palm to the centre of his chest, pressing lightly with my fingertips.
Nothing. No spark.
It was a trick.
Despite myself, I want to laugh, but I stuffed down the emotion.
Why had Maddock sent his twin? What was he hoping to achieve? For weeks, I’d forced myself not to message Maddock, knowing the contents of my texts would only too clearly display my unfortunate heart. But maybe the pictures of my art had done the job for me.
Was this a rejection by the same method that Max’s ex-girlfriend took?
A sick kind of hurt curled in my belly, unwarranted but real.
Fake-Maddock watched me.
I could say his name, call him out, maybe there was something else I could do first.
Easing my fingers up to the neck line of his shirt, I drew it aside, seeking his tattoo. Just like I’d done the first time I’d confused the twins.
Except it was different. A strip of clear plastic covered the ink.
A rush of confusion replaced my amusement.
I took a half step back. “What would you do if I kissed you now?”
The man’s eyes widened. “Why are ye asking?”
“Answer me.”
He paused for a second too long.
“Max, cut the shit.”
He blinked his eyes closed for second. “I’m sorry.”
He should be. If I hadn’t guessed, and if I hadn’t already determined to break things off with Maddock, I could’ve run straight up to Max and kissed him.
Anger rippled through me. I snatched the bag I’d dropped to my feet, turned on my heel, and stomped away.
“Wait,” Max yelled.
I kept on moving. He grabbed my wrist and forced me to stop.
“Why?” I wheeled around on him. “Did Maddock set me up, or was this your idea?”
“Maddock doesn’t even know I’m here.”
I shook my head once and hard. “Revenge, then. You’re trying to hurt him in reverse by using me.”
“No.” Max jammed his fingers into his hair. “I don’t know what I was thinking. I didn’t come here to do that.”
“I don’t believe you.”
“Fuck.” He clamped my hand in his and marched me out of the airport.
Through the parking lot, he towed me until we reached Maddock’s car.
I glared at it, and Max shrugged.
“If I brought ye back to him on my motorbike, he’d have killed me.”
I folded my arms and rested against the passenger-side door, preventing him from opening it. “I’m not getting in this car until you explain yourself.”
With a yank, Max pulled me clear, popped the door, then guided me inside. “Aye, ye are. Now hush and I’ll talk as I’m driving.”
I snapped my seat belt in place, dangerously irritated.
While Max rounded the car, I grabbed my phone from my bag and activated it. Messages loaded, including one from Elise telling me that Max would be the one collecting me. Thanks, but too late for that.
But before I could do anything, a call hit my screen. Aunt Rebecca, the caller ID read.
“I need to take this,” I said to Max as he buckled in.
He drove us out of the car park while I answered the call.
“Oh, honey, finally.”
“What’s wrong? Did something happen?”
Aunt Rebecca sniffled, and my heart sank.
“It all happened so fast, I don’t know where to start. After you left, your mother vanished.”
I slapped my hand to my forehead. “What do you mean vanished? Where did she go?”
The line broke up, distorting Aunt Rebecca’s reply, resolving on the word hospital.
“Wait, say that again, she’s in the hospital?”
“Yes, but I can hardly hear you.”
I punched Max in the shoulder. “Pull over.”
He did, and I tried again to hear my aunt.
“Of course the doctors don’t give you all the information until they’re clear on insurance,” she was saying.
My heart hammered. “I’ve just left the airport. Do I need to turn around and get straight back on a plane?”
“No, don’t be silly. She won’t hear of it. It’s only a broken hip. I just need to talk to you about payment.”
The line garbled again, and I took a steadying breath. “How the hell did she break her hip?”
But Aunt Rebecca continued on, clearly unable to hear me. Words like ER visit, CT scan, and blood work made it through.
Holy fucking fuck. I closed my eyes and mentally calculated the cost. If she needed surgery, this would break us. Dollar signs sprang up behind my eyelids.
“Tell me what they need.”
“All they’re asking for right now is evidence of your ability to pay. A first payment. We can work out the rest later,” Aunt Rebecca continued.
“How much?” I asked.
The reply was lost somewhere in the ether. I made out a laugh from my aunt, but this was anything but amusing.
We didn’t have the savings. We’d barely been making ends meet on my salary. I’d had plans to save for just this kind of emergency, but it hadn’t happened.
And yet in my bank account was all the money in the world.
Never would I have considered spending this on myself, but if my mother’s health depended on the doctors starting treatment, which depended on me stumping up the cash, what other choice did I have?
Already, she was in a wheelchair. If her hip wasn’t fixed right, she’d have no mobility at all.
Then a thought occurred. The interest accruing on the money might cover it, if no one claimed it for a couple more months.
“I’ll transfer it over to you now.”
My aunt said something I couldn’t pick up, then the call dropped altogether. I went straight to my banking app.
Without knowing exactly how much I needed to cover, I sent my aunt twenty grand to give to the hospital. It left the account a little under a million, but that would recover.
At my side, Max stared on. “Fuck, what’s going on?”
“My mother had an accident.” My voice came out tiny.
What I’d done felt illegal. Wrong. Yet I’d do anything for my mother.
Max gestured back and forth with his hands. “Am I taking ye into the airport again, or are we going home?”
“My aunt said not to come back for this. But Mom is going to be hurting.” I sighed, no right or wrong answer obvious. “I need to see Elise then I’ll try to talk to Mom later. If she needs me, I’ll book another flight out tonight.”
“Home, then,” Max confirmed.
It wasn’t my home, but at least for now, I’d be staying here.
We drove on, and I messaged my aunt to say I’d sent the cash, then I stashed my phone and stared out of the window.
“I had a stupid moment,” Max said into the silence. “I came to collect ye without Maddock knowing because I wanted to sound ye out.”
“If I’d kissed you, would I have made things better between you and your brother?” I asked.
“No. ’Course not. I should have told ye who I was right from the start.”
“Why didn’t you?”
“I don’t know. I think I was testing out how it must’ve felt for Lia.”
I opened my mouth to ask who Lia was, but then I got it.
Max was stuck on that point in the past where his ex-girlfriend had approached Maddock in a bar and done something that broke Max’s heart.
A little more gently, I said, “Then you weren’t trying to hurt Maddock, or me?”
“No. Only myself. Over and over.”
I blew out a breath, the day already far too much for me to handle. “You’re an idiot.”
“Dinna need to tell me that.”
“You’re stuck in the past.”
“Aye, and you’re in love with my brother. And he’s in love with ye.”
Part of that sentence, I couldn’t deny, but the second half was a stretch too far. “Maddock isn’t in love with me. Lust maybe.”
A laugh of disbelief was my answer. “Tell me this, what was Maddock doing in California?”
“He had the weekend off and a free plane ride.”
“Are ye kidding me?”
“No.”
“He spent three days travelling, while recovering from a fucking traumatic ordeal, for twenty-four hours in your company. What does that tell ye?”
Oh shit.
I heard the words, but my brain rebelled against the meaning. My belief had been that I could walk away from this mess and sink into work, recovering where no one could see me. Maddock might regret me, but he’d move on.
If Max was right, all my efforts were too late.
“This is a disaster,” I said to my hands.
“No, it fucking isn’t. Ye need to know because the two of ye have the chance to be something.” Max smacked the wheel with his hands. “He willnae tell ye, but I can’t let him make the same mistake I did.”
“Our relationship is not yours. This is none of your business,” I bit out.
“No, but he’s my twin and you’re my friend. I can’t stand by and let the two of ye fuck this up.”
I glared at him, and Max slowed the car on the road that led into the McRae estate and glared right back.
Then I spied the slow-moving line of cars we’d joined.
“Why is it so busy here?”
“Lochinvar is running an event this afternoon. Everyone’s out in the hills.”
Right. Elise had mentioned mountain rescue training, but I’d forgotten all about it.
“Is my sister taking part in it?”
“Aye, she’ll be with Cameron.”
“Can you take me to them?”
Max shrugged. “She thought ye might want to go back to their place first, but why not.”
I was buzzing with energy, and a stomp around the hills felt like a very good idea right now.
Max took the left-hand fork in the road and drove me out to the aircraft hangar. A throng gathered, with people kitted out for the winter weather.
As promised, we found Elise with her fiancé. She was bundled up in a thick coat and beanie hat, though still recognisable to me. I half fell out of the car in my haste to reach her.
“You’re here!” She grabbed me in a hug, and I held her tight, my grip on my emotions slipping.
She peered at my expression. “What’s wrong?”
Everything was wrong, but it was just days before her wedding, and she didn’t need to know more than the basics. “Mom had an accident. She’s okay, but yeah, it’s been a strange drive back here.”
I quickly filled her in, and Max eyed me then pulled Cameron aside to talk.
“I’m so sorry,” Elise cried. “We can go back to the house now and try to call her.”
“My aunt said there’s nothing I can do. She’ll be getting treatment. I wish I knew how it happened in the first place.”
“This is terrible.”
I heaved a deep breath of clean air. It was terrible, but also commonplace now. The last time I’d been here, Mom’s hunger strike had sent me home in a panic. At least with this incident, she was safe in a hospital bed, cared for by professionals. There really was nothing I could do for her.
“Want to head back now?” Elise asked.
“Actually, no. I really need to stretch my legs. I’ve been cooped up on a plane and I feel as if I’m about to go mad.”
“Then join us for the hike. We can stop at any point, or just keep on trekking until we’re tired.”
I agreed, needing the exercise.
My sister held up her phone. “I’ve just downloaded this tracking software which we’re testing today. You and I can get pretend lost together.”
A tall woman at the head of the crowd cupped her mouth. “Don’t forget to tag yourself online today so people know this is happening. It will raise awareness of what the mountain rescue teams do.”
I grabbed my phone and shot a selfie. “You can’t do this, but I will,” I said to my famous sister.
With a quick upload of my picture, I readied for a long walk. I never had found Maddock online. As he’d said, he wasn’t easy to find. Whether or not he’d find me was another question.
A few hours later, Cameron, Elise, and I had made a loop and found our way back to near the classic car repair garage I remembered visiting with Maddock.
Throughout the hike, Cameron had been coordinating teams, frequently taking calls on his radio or marching away to handle issues. He never went far, though. Always keeping my sister in his sights.
He did the same now, walking a short distance away but never losing sight.
I pursed my lips and gestured after him. “Why did you and Cameron decide to settle here rather than in California?” Then I shook my head at the ridiculousness of my question. “I’ve no idea why I asked that. It’s obvious. You’re both so happy here.”
My sister smiled at her beloved. “We are, but if I’d wanted to live elsewhere, he would have followed me anywhere. But I’d never want to leave this place for long. Scotland is part of Cameron. This home is in his heart. It’s the same for all his family. I feel it, too.”
My stomach sank, though she hadn’t told me anything I didn’t already know. I’d barely spent any time in Scotland, but I felt it all the same. A kind of peace settled around me like a cosy blanket the minute we were back within the giant stone gateposts.
Maddock would never want to move away.
Even if he could relocate across the ocean, his homeland would always be calling him back. Just as mine kept me trapped. We couldn’t make each other happy.
My phone rang, the call I’d long expected finally coming in.
Without even taking it from my pocket, I raised my eyebrows at my sister.
“That’ll be Maddock. You go on ahead and join Cameron, and I’ll see you later.”
She tilted her head. “Is everything okay?”
“Fine,” I lied. “We just need to have a conversation. I’ll meet up with him now and see you for dinner.”
“If you’re sure.”
She let me go, and I strode away for privacy.
But the name on my screen wasn’t who I expected at all.
If I’d thought my day had been bad, it was only about to get worse.
