IRIS WAS THE ONLY REASON I stayed sane for the two and a half hours Callum was gone. She stayed, talked to me, urged me to call Jenny and ask her to keep Ez overnight. Iris and I FaceTimed with them too, and that pulled me further out of my stupor.
And then I explained to Iris how Callum and I had started five years ago. She listened to all of it and remembered the time period after I left when Callum became even more removed from the band than he ever had been. That made me sad.
But mostly, we stuck to the good things. I discovered Iris truly loved Callum. She didn’t know him the way I did, but then, I didn’t know him the way she did.
We bonded over our shared love for Callum, and then over our mutual experience of being attacked. Because as time ticked by, I admitted to myself that Chrys and Rasc had hurt me. They’d forced me into their vehicle, terrified me, and yeah, Chrys had pushed me to the pavement. Admitting that out loud had sent me into another wave of sobs.
By the time Callum and Ronan crowded through the door, I had calmed down and cried all my tears. I rose to my feet, and in seconds, Callum snatched me around the waist and bundled me against him. He cupped the back of my head, his body curling around mine, holding me close. I held him back, breathing in his Callum smell, weak with relief he was here, he was standing, he was mine.
Sometime while we were holding each other, Ronan and Iris made their exit. After forever, I pulled back and tipped my head so I could examine Callum’s face. It was unmarred, no cuts or scrapes or bruises.
“You’re not hurt,” I whispered.
He dipped his head to press his mouth to mine. It started sweet but turned deep and hot in seconds. I clung to him while he took my mouth. He clung back just as fiercely.
Finally, he eased his mouth away, breathing heavy and hot on my lips. “No, I’m not hurt.”
“Rasc and Chrys?”
He exhaled. “Rasc can’t say the same. Chrys is fine.”
“Good. I was worried about her.”
“She doesn’t deserve your worry.” Anger laced his words, but I knew he wasn’t angry at me. He didn’t want me to spare any worry over his sister, but as a mom, I couldn’t help myself.
“Well, I guess I’m worried about the baby. She looked like she’s due soon.”
He stilled for a beat, then his mouth tipped into a small smile. “She’s not pregnant, Wren.”
“She is.” My eyes went wide. “It’s kinda hard to miss her big belly.”
“Remember the story I told you about the oranges and my mom?”
It took me a moment to recall the story. And then I did. And it dawned on me. I’d been played. Of course I had. “Belly was fake?”
He nodded. “She was raised by the same mama I was. Fake belly always gets you more money. Grifting’s in our blood.”
“Was that really her son? Sparrow?”
He sighed. “Yeah, that’s her boy. Name’s not Sparrow, though. I’m thinkin’ she made it up knowin’ you’d appreciate the bird connection. Kid’s name is Tim. She got knocked up by a married guy. Took ten grand from him and hit the road.”
“I feel dumb for falling for that.”
“You’re not dumb. You’re just so good, you don’t see the bad.”
I squeezed his arm. “Are you okay? I know you’re not hurt, but this can’t be easy. What they did to you—”
“All I felt was anger. I’m done now.”
I sucked in a breath at the finality of his words. “That easy?”
“It’s that easy because they have been settin’ fire to our relationship since they knew how to strike a match. This has been goin’ on for years. It sounds cold, I get it, but I’m ice for them.” He cupped the sides of my head. “Me turnin’ off my heart to Chrys and Rasc doesn’t mean I’d ever be able to do that to you. You aren’t them. The only match you’d light is one to keep me warm.”
That was the most true thing he’d ever said.
He backed me to the couch and pushed me down gently, then he lay down with me, putting most of his torso on mine, his head on my chest. I was crushed into the cushions by his weight, but I liked it. My good hand came up to stroke his hair. Callum’s arm looped around me, and he held me tight.
Then we were quiet for a long time. Stroking and hugging. He kissed the curve of my breast every minute or two, moved his big hand over my stomach just as he liked doing, but he seemed to need this. To hold and be held. I guess I needed it too. My wrist ached. My heart hurt a little too. Even if Callum didn’t say it, what happened with Rasc and Chrys couldn’t have been easy on him.
“I do want your kind of love, Callum,” I whispered.
His roving hands stilled. “My psycho love?”
“I don’t know if I’d call it that.”
“What would you call it?”
“I read the emails you sent me after I disappeared. I saw what I did to you. You forgave me and helped me and watched over me even though I ripped you apart. I can’t be angry at that. Maybe I should be, but I’m not. I’m honored you care for me so intensely.”
He propped himself up on his elbow and dragged his fingertips down my cheek. “I won’t stop. I couldn’t back then, and that was before I knew what it was like to have you.”
I reached up and scratched his beard. “I’ve never believed I could be loved or even liked in a real way.”
He growled at me, which made me laugh softly. He’d always defend me, even from my own self-doubt.
“When I had my space to think yesterday, I realized the kind of love you give me is what I need. I don’t question it because you are completely up front and blunt with your feelings for me. It might be too much for another kind of woman, but for me, it’s perfect.”
He scowled at me. “Then you should know mentioning me loving another kind of woman doesn’t make me happy. There’s no other kind of woman. No other women.”
I nodded. “I know. Stop frowning at me, baby.”
His scowl deepened, and I giggled. His thumb traced the edges of my smiling mouth. “You know I don’t connect with people. It’s never been easy. With you, it always has been. Even behind a screen. I learned to love when I met you, Wren. The way I love you was shaped and molded for you. I won’t love anyone else because I only know how to love you.”
My eyes trailed along his face then back to meet his. How anyone could ever think this man was cold was a mystery to me. He didn’t need to wear a coat in the ice-cold winter because he contained the warmth of the sun inside his core. And maybe it only burned for me, but to me, it was impossible to miss.
“You can watch me, Callum.”
His scowl finally faded. “Oh yeah?”
“Yeah. Just don’t keep anything from me.”
“I have no interest in keepin’ anything from you. I’m here because I want to spend my life with you. Livin’ life with secrets sounds like hell.”
I smiled wide. “I love the way you think. Your mind is beautiful.”
He dipped down, grazing his lips along mine. “You’re beautiful, Little Bird. I was coastin’ before you. You woke me up. One email from you and life flipped. I didn’t know you were mine yet, but it didn’t take long for me to catch on to that.”
“You’re mine too, Callum. Do you know that? I didn’t want to leave you when I did.”
His nose touched mine. “You got Ez. We both grew up some. I regret the pain, wish I had the time with you, but I’d never erase what happened because we’re here now.”
“Yeah,” I whispered. “We’re here now.”
Running out of words, we kissed. Callum was careful with me, so careful, but his need was as palpable as mine. He shifted to the side, rucking my dress up, cupping my core. Still kissing me, plunging his tongue deep into my mouth.
He was still so careful when he pushed my panties down my legs and touched me between them. He wasn’t broken in the same way I was, but my hands were gentle on his skin and in his hair.
Hips fitted between mine, Callum entered me like a soldier coming home from a long war. Finally inside, relief and joy marked plain on his face. His sigh was sweet on my lips. We moved together, slow, getting reacquainted.
We kissed and slid into each other without speaking. We had said all there was to say for now. Callum loomed over me, and I rose to meet him. My baby. My beautiful, beautiful man. He was mine, and I didn’t question it. Not when he was inside me, not when he was beside me, not even when he was only notes on my screen.
His strokes became harder, longer, hitting so close to the end of me, I mewled. That made him grin, which made me laugh. And then we were both smiling and making love, and it was one of the most perfect moments in my life. I was broken. Callum’s knuckles were bloody and swelling. We might’ve both been a little crazy, but our love was pure. And it was lasting.
We came together, because it was that kind of night. This time, he rolled us both to our sides and snuggled me under his chin. That was perfection too.
I wrote love notes on his arms with my fingers. He rested his palm on my butt. Every minute or two, he kissed the top of my head. Perfect.
“I can’t go all summer without this,” I murmured.
His breathing stopped. “Yeah?”
“I believe you’ll take care of me. So yeah, I’ll quit my job and come on tour with you. I’m bringing Ez, so it has to work for him too—”
He untucked my head and stared down at me. “Everything I feel for you extends to him. We’ll make it work for him.”
I nodded. “I know you will.”
“It’s gonna be good, Little Bird.”
“The tour?”
His thumb dragged along my bottom lip and chin. Icy blues met my deep ambers. “This life I’m givin’ you. It’s gonna be good.”
I held his face, making sure he saw me and heard what I said. His sole focus was on me. He was listening.
“That’s the thing, baby. It already is.”
He exhaled. I breathed him in. He smiled. I did too.
“Yeah. It already is.”
