On Sunday morning, we woke to a knock at our door from Lisa, our dorm mom, letting us know she’d called an early house meeting. Everyone in our hall was expected to go—no exceptions.
Cress had been slow to get ready, so most girls were already there when we arrived. They were perched on sofas and sitting on the floor. The one benefit of the meeting was that Lisa had ordered in food, and the smell of fresh coffee and croissants had me salivating.
“This has to be some kind of cruel joke,” Cress murmured as we both grabbed a coffee. She took a deep drink and let out a happy sigh before she continued. “No one should be expected to get up before ten on a Sunday.”
“Lisa’s probably pissed no one listens to curfew,” Anna said as she joined us. She picked a croissant off the table and took a quick bite. “What better punishment is there when we’ve been out too late than making us all get up early?”
Funnily enough, Cress, Anna, and I had stayed in watching movies in the common room last night. We hadn’t even been close to breaking curfew. Not that the girls were ever all that worried about breaking the rules. They were both far too skilled at talking their way out of trouble with Lisa.
We took a seat at the back of the room and waited for the meeting to start. Lisa walked in moments later, her usual smile and warm expression completely missing.
She let out a sigh as she went to stand at the front of the room. “Good morning, everyone,” she said. “Sorry to drag you out of bed so early on a Sunday morning, but if people can’t respect the rules around here, I can’t be expected to respect your sleep.”
“Told you,” Anna whispered with a smile.
“I wanted to bring you all in here to remind you that, with no exceptions, boys are not allowed in your rooms after curfew.”
The girls all broke into titters of laughter, and Anna and Cress snorted at my side.
“I wonder who got caught?” Cress murmured.
“Probably Tiffany,” Anna replied, nodding at a girl whose cheeks were bright red with embarrassment. “Her boyfriend practically lives in her room.”
Lisa cleared her throat and raised her voice as she tried to regain everyone’s attention. “If this rule is broken again, I will assign every single one of you to cleaning the bathrooms in the boys’ dormitory for a week.” The laughter quickly died. “And I mean each and every one of you, whether you broke the rules or not. I can’t imagine you’ll be very interested in sneaking boys into your rooms after that.” A small smile curved Lisa’s lips like she knew exactly how cruel and effective her threat was.
“So, that’s all I wanted to talk about this morning,” Lisa continued, her voice suddenly bright like she hadn’t just been threatening us. “Please enjoy your coffees and croissants. I look forward to seeing you all together again for family night on Tuesday.”
The room broke out into chatter the moment Lisa stopped speaking.
“That’s evil, especially for Lisa,” Cress murmured. “She’s normally so nice.”
“Evil but effective,” Anna added. “I’ll happily chase away any boys who so much as glance at our dorms at the wrong time of night. I am not cleaning the boys’ toilets.”
“Me neither,” I agreed with a shudder. “I think I’d be traumatized for life.”
One of the girls standing next to me scoffed, and she rolled her eyes as she caught my gaze. She’d clearly taken issue with something I’d said.
“What?” I asked her as she went to turn away.
“Oh, nothing,” she replied, but given the slight smile on her lips and the tone in her voice, it was clear she was hiding something
“Obviously, it’s not nothing.”
She lifted one eyebrow and folded her arms across her chest as she faced me. “I think we all know there’s no way you would have to clean the boys’ toilets.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Just that we can’t all be a LaFleur, can we?” She turned and walked off before I could respond, and I stood there gaping after her.
“Did you guys hear that?” I turned to Cress and Anna. They were both glaring at the girl’s retreating figure.
“Don’t listen to Nat,” Anna said. “She’s always snarky like that.”
“What does that even mean? We can’t all be a LaFleur? It’s not like I get special treatment…”
“No…” Cress started. “But I’d say that’s only because you don’t ask for it. Nat’s probably right. With your dad being who he is, I’m sure they wouldn’t make you clean the boys’ toilets if you kicked up a fuss about it.”
I frowned at my friends, but Anna was nodding alongside Cress. “Yeah, we all know the rules are different for certain people in this school.”
“Really? Because nothing’s changed for me since people found out who my dad is.”
“Hasn’t it?” Anna asked.
“I mean, I’ve had a few people try to talk to me who would probably have ignored me completely a week ago, but it’s not like I’ve been treated any differently by the teachers. I definitely haven’t had a different set of rules than everyone else.”
“I guess we won’t know until a teacher tries to make you clean a boy’s bathroom,” Cress said.
I grimaced at the thought. “Here’s hoping that never happens.”
“I’ll drink to that,” Anna said. She downed the rest of her coffee and placed the cup in the bin. We each took another croissant before we started back up the stairs to our rooms.
I wondered how much truth there was to what the girls said. Were the rules here different for me because now people knew who my father was? I didn’t want any special treatment, and I hoped they were wrong.
“I’m going straight back to bed,” Anna said, munching on the end of her croissant as she spoke.
“Same,” Cress agreed. “Lisa could have simply threatened another early Sunday morning wake up, and I would have complied.”
“I’ll say.” Anna nodded. “Not that any of us are sneaking boys into our rooms. I wish my dating life was that exciting.”
Cress snorted. “Can you imagine Kat’s reaction if you tried to bring a boy into your room? She’d avoid you even more than she already does.”
“Oh my gosh, she would kill me,” Anna replied. “I’d have to sleep with one eye open for the rest of the year.”
“One eye?” Cress said. “I think you’d need both.”
Anna nodded, and a shudder seemed to go down her back. It was safe to say the wrath of Anna’s roommate was a bigger deterrent for her than cleaning a boy’s bathroom ever could be.
We wandered back to our floor before parting ways with Anna as we went back to our separate rooms. Cress immediately threw herself back into bed and cuddled up under the covers while I went to the closet to fish out my running gear. I’d been avoiding running all week for fear of bumping into Noah, but I couldn’t give up jogging entirely just because I didn’t want to see my ex.
“You’re not going back to bed?” Cress asked.
“No, I think I’ll go for a run. My coffee has me buzzed.”
“Really? I must drink far too much because it barely gives me a kick anymore.”
“You practically have a cup glued to your hand twenty-four seven, so you’re probably right.” I laughed.
“There are worse vices.” She let out a big yawn and snuggled farther under her sheets. She looked so cozy I was almost tempted to return to bed myself. But I knew I needed to clear my head, so I changed into my running gear and rushed out the door before I could reconsider.
Thunder rumbled as I emerged outside. It had been storming on and off all week, but it wasn’t raining yet, so I was hoping it would hold off a little longer so I wouldn’t get drenched on my run. The clouds overhead didn’t look promising and were so dark and gloomy I half considered turning back inside and trying again later. I knew I’d only go crazy if I went another day without running to clear my mind, so I started out into the blustering wind.
I headed into the woods. If it was going to rain, at least there might be some protection beneath the trees. On Monday, I’d made the mistake of choosing the path around the lake in an attempt to avoid Noah and had ended up seeing him anyway, so I knew there was little point in choosing my route simply to avoid him. Fate apparently had a twisted sense of humor when it came to the two of us, so it seemed pointless to try to fight it.
Still, I hoped the grim weather would put Noah off running today. I didn’t want to see him this morning, especially not after our encounter on Friday night. Hopefully, he was still tucked up in bed like most sane people.
My limbs took a while to warm up, but eventually I fell into a good rhythm as I ran along the winding path. I could feel the breath of winter on the early-morning air, and I knew it wouldn’t be long now until the days turned short and cold and any hint of summer was gone for good. I hated the cold and wasn’t looking forward to it one bit.
I was glad I’d chosen the woods. Thunder still rumbled across the horizon, and the wind howled as it whipped through the canopy overhead. The weather was turning slightly more apocalyptic than I’d predicted, and I considered heading back. I must have been crazy to head out on a run when a storm was rolling in. What if a tree branch fell on me? Or what if I was struck by lightning? I knew the chances of that happening were practically zero, but it didn’t stop the thought from crossing my mind.
The sound of a twig snapping made me glance over my shoulder as a figure appeared on the path behind me. I nearly stumbled over a rock as my gaze collided with Noah’s. His green eyes widened with obvious surprise, but I had to wonder if it was faked. Had he followed me here, or was I simply destined to bump into him every time I went for a run? Surely fate wouldn’t be so cruel as to throw him into my path once again.
It felt like he was plaguing my existence. When he wasn’t physically there, he was in my thoughts. I’d risked life and limb coming out in this storm, simply so I could clear my mind of him, but apparently that wasn’t enough to escape him. I couldn’t help but feel pissed he’d shown up again, so I slammed to a stop and turned on him.
“What are you doing?” I hissed.
Noah halted and scowled as he folded his arms across his broad chest. “I’m running. Am I not allowed to run?”
I stalked toward him, anger carrying my feet forward. “No, you’re following me.” I poked him in his stupid chest, but he captured my hand, holding it there.
My breaths had been coming in hard and fast until that moment, but as soon as his skin made contact with mine, I struggled to breathe at all. God, how I hated my reaction to him. How just one touch made me lose control. How my body so easily forgot that he was completely off limits.
“I didn’t follow you here,” he growled.
I shook my head, unsure if I believed him. “Why can’t you just leave me alone?”
He stared at me, confusion and hurt swirling in the bright-green depths of his eyes. Finally, he released a humorless laugh and let go of my hand. “I want nothing to do with you…” He glanced away from me, his mouth forming a hard line as he continued. “And yet I still want everything.” He shook his head. “I need to get you out of my head.”
“Maybe start by leaving me alone.”
“I didn’t follow you here,” he repeated.
“Fine, fate just has a fucked-up sense of humor then. But you did choose to confront me at the party on Friday night.”
“Am I supposed to just ignore the fact you already want to move on?”
Now I was the one to laugh, but there was absolutely nothing about this situation that was remotely funny. “You broke up with me, Noah. You dumped me because your grandfather asked you to and because you can’t handle who my dad is. What I do now is none of your concern.”
I turned to leave, but he grabbed my hand once more, pulling me toward him. I slammed into his chest, and he trapped me in his arms. A million tingles erupted across my skin at the contact. Being this close to him was dangerous. It was heady and addictive. It was not helping me with moving on.
Thunder rumbled overhead, but the sound felt like a mere echo as I stared into Noah’s eyes.
“What are you doing?” It took every bit of willpower I possessed to make sure the words didn’t come out as a whisper.
I could see Noah was just as tortured as me. “I don’t want you rebounding onto somebody else.”
“That’s not up to you. You dumped me, remember?”
“I know.”
“So, let me go, Noah.”
“I can’t.” His arms gripped me tightly, but he seemed to be talking about so much more than just holding me close to him. “I can’t let you go,” he said. “But I can’t be with you either.”
I shook my head. “It doesn’t work that way.”
“I know.”
“You made your choice.”
“I know.” Each word from his lips was pained, and there was a panicked look in his eyes I’d never seen before. “It doesn’t stop me from missing you. From wanting you with every breath that I take.”
“You can’t say that stuff to me, Noah. It’s not fair.”
“But it’s true,” he replied. “I just keep thinking that perhaps if I could taste your lips one last time that would be enough. I could stop thinking about them. I could stop thinking about you. Maybe it would take the pain away, even if just for a moment. Maybe I could find some closure.”
“You want to kiss me to help you move on?”
“Yes.” His voice was rough.
It took a moment to process. “That’s really messed up, Noah.”
His jaw tightened like he knew it was insane, and yet it didn’t change how he felt. “Will you let me kiss you?”
As much as I wanted to pretend I wasn’t tempted, I was. I despised this boy for dumping me. I hated him for being an ass to me on Friday night. And yet, my body was acting like it had completely forgotten we were no longer together. I liked to believe I had enough self-respect to refuse him, but all sense went out the window when I was standing in his arms. It took me far longer to respond than it should have, and I stared at him as desire warred with the wiser part of my brain.
“No.” I somehow choked out the smart response. My heart clenched tightly in objection. I wanted him just as badly as he seemed to want me, but I couldn’t give in. I shouldn’t.
Somehow, somehow, I found the strength to step away from him. To release myself from his grasp. I needed space so I could think. But as soon as I had created it, I knew I didn’t want there to be any distance between us at all.
One last kiss. That was all Noah was asking for. And what if he was right? What if one final kiss would help me move on? What if I could finally put him in my past? I was already hurting so much. Would it really be so bad if I took just one moment to forget the pain?
Before I could reconsider, I strode toward him, and he didn’t hesitate as he reached for me, dragging me in and crushing me to him. Our lips clashed together as thunder cracked, the storm swirling around us just as violent and passionate as our kiss.
I wasn’t even sure if you could call what we were doing a kiss. It was raw and carnal. It was something so much fiercer than any kisses I’d experienced before. It was all heat and need with none of the gentle kindness of Noah’s other kisses.
I hated it.
I loved it.
I wanted it to end.
I needed it to last forever.
We kissed with such passion it felt like the whole world quaked in response. His hands were everywhere. His kiss was lips and tongue and teeth. I didn’t think he could erase any more of the space between us, but then he lifted me into his arms. My legs wrapped around him, never wanting to let him go. I couldn’t think straight. I couldn’t think at all. In that moment, all I knew was Noah, and I never wanted to know anything else.
It didn’t matter that the thunder was growing louder. That the wind was picking up, tugging at my hair and swirling the leaves around our feet. And when the skies opened and thick rain started to fall upon us, I thought perhaps that didn’t matter either. The world could drown, for all I cared.
We were both soaked through in moments and Noah pulled back from our kiss, staring at me through the sheeting rain that fell between us. I didn’t need to ask what he was thinking. I already knew. That kiss was it, and we were finished.
I jerked out of his hold and swiped a hand across my lips as I glared at him. That kiss wasn’t one that made you forget someone. It was the kind that imprinted on your soul and left its brand there forever.
“You done?” I growled.
Noah’s eyes were wild, his focus still on my lips as he stared at me. I felt like he was trying to control himself. Like he was on edge and could attack me with his lips again at any moment.
“Well?” I prompted, hugging my arms around the drenched clothes that clung to my waist.
He refused to meet my gaze. “I’m done.”
“Good.” I turned and started running back to school before I could give in to the emotions whirring within me. This was what he wanted. What I wanted. For this thing between us to be over. But if this was what I wanted, then why did I feel like I was going to cry?
Noah would forget me now.
But I was never going to forget that kiss.
