Even the next day, my lips seemed to burn from Noah’s kisses. It was like he’d marked himself on them. Like he’d seared his name across every inch of them. They belonged to him, and they ached to return to their owner.
Noah’s kiss had done absolutely nothing to help me get over him. If anything, he had only made being apart from him worse. I needed something to help me take my mind off him. And for once, schoolwork just wasn’t doing the trick. It certainly didn’t help when I had to sit right in front of him during class.
I could feel his presence behind me. The air between us radiated with tension, and I struggled to retain a single thing the teacher said during the business management lesson we shared together.
Lily sat at the desk beside me, and she kept sending strange looks in Noah’s direction. I couldn’t see why she was looking at him so weirdly, but it didn’t make sitting so close to him any easier. I was desperate to turn and look at him, but somehow, I managed to hold myself back.
When the torturous class was finally over and I was out in the corridor, I pulled Lily aside.
“Why did you keep looking at Noah during class?” I asked her.
“He couldn’t take his eyes off you.” She murmured the words and glanced around nervously like she was wary of being overheard. “He seemed upset.”
“Really?”
“If I had to guess, I’d say he’s not over your breakup.” She readjusted her bag on her shoulder and looked back at the classroom as Noah emerged. He didn’t look our way and strode off in the other direction, so I had no chance to see his expression.
“He should be,” I murmured. Especially after demanding one last kiss from me yesterday to help us both move on.
“It’s only been a week. I’d be surprised if he was.”
I blew out a breath. “Yeah, I guess you’re right.”
We started to slowly move off down the corridor. It was the end of the day, so it was crowded with students rushing to get out of school.
“How are you feeling about the breakup?” Lily asked.
“I’m getting there.” It was a total lie. I wasn’t getting anywhere, especially after that kiss. I hadn’t been able to get it out of my mind, and even now my heart raced a little faster at the thought of it.
Stupid Noah with his stupid unforgettable lips.
She gave me a small smile. “It’s okay if you’re not over it too.”
“I’m that obvious, huh?”
“Just a little.” She laughed. “But I can understand that you don’t want to dwell on it.”
“Yeah,” I agreed. “The sooner I’m over him, the better.”
We emerged from the building and out into the afternoon sunshine. As we walked across the courtyard, my phone started buzzing in my pocket.
I pulled it out and saw my mom was calling. “I better take this.”
Lily nodded. “Okay, I’ll see you later.”
I walked over to the nearest bench and sat down as I answered the call. “Mom, how do you get over a boy?”
She chuckled in response. “Hello to you too.”
I rolled my eyes but smiled. “Hi, Mom.”
“You’re still hung up on Noah, huh?”
I’d been doing my best not to burn my mom’s ears off complaining about Noah when we’d talked over the last week. I hated the thought of worrying her. I’d been a total mess when my last boyfriend had cheated on me, and I didn’t want Mom afraid I was in the same dark place I’d been after Levi. Not when she was so far away. I also didn’t want to burden her with my problems when I knew she had issues of her own. She seemed to be dealing with a lot of stress at the café at the moment, and even now she sounded exhausted. She told me she had it all under control, but I wasn’t sure I believed her. She tended to change the subject whenever I brought it up.
I exhaled and sank a little lower in the seat. “Yeah, he’s kind of hard to forget.” Especially when he was staring at me in class and demanding kisses from me in the rain.
“I only spent a short time with him, but I could tell he was special,” she agreed. I kind of hated her for saying it, but I wasn’t sure I could stomach her despising him either. My feelings for him weren’t exactly rational at this point.
“So, any idea how to get over special?”
“The best cure for a broken heart is to give it time,” she said. “Time usually makes even the worst wounds a little easier to live with.”
Sitting and waiting to feel better didn’t seem like a very proactive way to get over a guy. The idea of being in pain for any longer also wasn’t appealing.
“I don’t really have time. I want to get over him now.”
Mom chuckled. “Sometimes you sound far older than your years, but then you say something like that, and I remember just how young you are.”
“I’m not that young.”
“You are to me.”
I knew I would never win this argument. I would always be her baby to her. “So, any other ideas for mending a broken heart?”
I heard a sound on the other end of the line, and Mom’s voice became muffled like she was covering the end of the phone to talk with someone. I could hear the clatter of pans in the background, so she must have been at work.
“Iz, I have a customer that’s asking for me,” she said, the line now crystal clear again. “I’ll be back in a moment, but Norma will keep you company while I’m gone.”
“Okay.” I waited as the line went quiet, and then I heard rustling as Norma picked up the phone.
“Isobel, sweetie, how are you?”
I smiled at the sound of her husky voice. She was the person I missed the most from back home—after my mom, of course.
“I’m okay. Working hard at school.”
“Your mom says you and that boy you brought home broke up.”
I should have known Noah would be the one thing Norma wanted to chat about. When she wasn’t making outlandish predictions about the future, she loved nothing more than talking about boys and the heart.
“Yeah, it happened last week.”
“I can hardly believe it. He looked totally smitten with you when you were here.”
I shrugged. “Guess he wasn’t that smitten.”
“No, he definitely was. But, not to worry, he’ll come back to you. Any psychic worth their salt could tell you that.”
“I think your psychic powers might be wrong on this one. Besides, I’m trying to get over him.”
“Well, if that’s what you want, the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else.”
“Norma!”
“What?” She sounded genuinely confused by my reaction. “It’s true.”
“I’m seventeen. I’m not getting under anyone!” My cheeks were so hot right now I felt like I’d walked into a furnace.
“Well, it’s still the best advice I have.”
“That’s terrible advice to give a teenager.” I laughed.
“I’m just trying to keep it real.”
I shook my head. “Well, any other real breakup advice that is somewhat more age appropriate?”
“Well, my momma always said that you can’t heal a heart by dwelling on the past. The only way to make things better is to focus on the present. The heart will take care of the rest.”
“So, I need to stop thinking about Noah and the breakup?”
“Yes, and distractions will help. Distractions like finding a cute new boy to get—”
“Norma!” She was officially worse than Anna.
She chuckled. “Your mom’s back, sweetie, and I better get back to work. I’ll talk to you soon.”
She was off the phone before I could reprimand her again.
“Why did Norma have a devious grin on her lips when she handed over the phone?” Mom asked as she came back.
“She was giving me breakup advice.”
“And…”
“And it wasn’t very helpful. I think I’ll stick with your advice of giving things time.”
“That sounds wise,” Mom agreed.
It wasn’t exactly easy. Giving things time wasn’t the quick fix I was after, but I trusted my mom knew what she was talking about.
A big clatter of plates sounded in the background and Mom swore under her breath. “Our new waitress has butter fingers today,” she said. “I better go.”
“Okay, talk to you soon.”
“Love you.”
“Love you more.”
I ended the call feeling both better and worse. Speaking with my mom always made me happier, but it was hard not to feel a little disheartened as I was no closer to getting over Noah and her advice was to just wait. It sounded simple enough in theory, but I had a feeling it wouldn’t be nearly so easy in practice. Especially not when I constantly saw him at school and time seemed to warp to a standstill whenever I was in his presence. It also didn’t help that whenever we were close I felt so drawn to him. No time more so than yesterday in the woods. What we needed were better boundaries—any boundaries at all, really.
The thought gave me clarity and resolve, and my feet moved of their own accord in the direction of the boys’ dormitory. I was supposed to be meeting Wes in the library soon so we could work on our economics homework from last week, but I could spare a few minutes. I was probably crazy to think going to see Noah was a good idea, but if I was ever going to get over him, we needed to set some ground rules. I was thinking no kissing and no longing looks would be at the top of the list.
When I got to his room, I banged hard on the door. Noah answered on the second knock, pure surprise lighting his eyes when he found me standing on the other side of the door.
“Can we talk?” I asked before he could say anything.
For a moment, it looked like he was going to refuse me. He glanced past me and looked up and down the corridor. When he saw I was alone, he nodded. Was he that worried about being seen with me?
He stepped back, gesturing for me to enter his room. I clenched my hands as I walked past him, trying my best to ignore the fresh scent of his aftershave. Even now, I still melted a little at the scent of it. He was dressed in his soccer gear, his gym bag slung over his shoulder. He looked like he was on his way out.
“I have to get to practice,” he said.
“This won’t take long.”
He closed the door behind me and indicated for me to continue.
I drew in a deep breath before I spoke, mentally gearing up to put Noah in his place. He interrupted before I got a chance.
“That last class with you was torture,” he said.
“What? Why?”
“Because you were sitting right in front of me. I could smell the scent of your vanilla shampoo.”
It was the last thing I expected him to say. “You can sit somewhere else, you know.”
He shook his head slowly, as though my suggestion was impossible to imagine.
“It’s not just your scent that’s driving me crazy,” he continued. “It’s seeing you every day and knowing I can’t touch you, knowing I can’t smile with you or talk to you. I can’t stop thinking about the forest…” His eyes dropped to my lips, and he stepped closer like he was thinking about kissing me again.
“Noah, you said that kiss was it. That we would kiss one last time and move on…”
“One kiss wasn’t enough,” he murmured, moving closer still.
I backed away from him, jolting as I accidentally knocked into his desk. I’d come here to tell Noah I needed more space, and he was doing the exact opposite. I was already struggling with self-control when it came to him, and the closer he got to me, the more he erased any ability I had to resist. Coming to his room was stupid enough, but giving in to any desire I felt for him could be fatal to my slim hopes of moving on.
“Noah…” I murmured his name in warning. “I came here to tell you that we need to stop this. We need boundaries. The looks you keep giving me, that kiss yesterday. You’ve made it perfectly clear we can’t be together, and I can’t get over you if you won’t let me go.”
“Tell me I can kiss you again.”
I swallowed, my heart racing as I tried to summon the strength to deny him. His last kiss had shattered me, but another one might destroy me entirely.
“That would be a bad idea.” It was all I could manage to say.
“That’s not a no.”
“It’s not…”
He lowered his lips to mine, and I melted into his arms as he kissed me. His kiss yesterday had been raw and filled with hunger, but today’s kiss was different. I could almost taste his desperation and sadness on his lips. I could feel he was aching as much as I was in the way he grasped my body tightly in his hands, holding me to him like I might disappear if he let me go.
Everything about this felt so right. But it also felt so, so wrong.
I pulled back from him and gasped for air. “You can’t keep kissing me.”
“I can’t help it,” he gritted out. “The only thing stopping us is my grandfather. In the woods, in my room, where no one can see, we can do whatever we want.”
His words were so alluring and his lips still so close to mine I almost moved toward them again. But then I saw sense. He was talking about a secret relationship again.
“I’m never going to agree to that, Noah. I’m surprised you keep asking. You hate secrets as much as I do.”
“It would be worth it to be with you.”
Looking into his eyes, I found it hard to believe he didn’t care for me enough to tell his grandfather to go to hell. He was looking at me like he would burn the world down around us just so we could be together. Apparently, those feelings weren’t enough.
“Couldn’t we just talk with your grandfather?” I whispered. “Maybe if we explained our feelings to him, he’d understand…”
My question seemed to break the moment we’d been sharing, shattering it so thoroughly I had to wonder if I’d perhaps dreamed it. Noah loosened his grip on me and stepped back, his expression turning to ice as he looked away. “He won’t understand. His hatred runs too deep.”
“If you could just tell me what happened…”
“There’s no point.” Noah felt so distant now even though he was only a few steps from me. “You think the truth will help. You think if you understand what happened you might be able to find a way around it so we can be together. But this isn’t a fairy tale, and there is no happy ending for us.”
“I know this isn’t fairy tale,” I growled.
“Do you? The poor girl who works at a café finds out she’s truly a princess and is whisked away to a castle. Sounds like a fairy tale to me. But how are you going to feel when you find out your father is the villain in the story? That you may be a princess, but you’re the heir to a throne built on lies and betrayal.”
“What are you talking about, Noah? I deserve to know the truth.”
“Perhaps.” He nodded. “But I won’t be the one to shatter your fairy tale.”
I was shaking as I stood there. Noah was deliberately keeping things from me, and his excuse was that he didn’t want to shatter my fairy tale? He had no right to decide what was best for me. Especially after deciding we couldn’t even be in each other’s lives.
“This isn’t some fairy tale to me,” I repeated. “This is my life.”
“I’m sorry, Isobel. I shouldn’t have kissed you yesterday, and I shouldn’t have kissed you just now.” My heart felt like it was imploding all over again as he spoke. “You’re right; we need boundaries. This won’t happen again.” I could see from the resolution in his eyes that he meant it.
Seeing him so certain only angered me. He’d been the one demanding more kisses from me. He was the one making things so messy. I’d done nothing wrong, and yet he was acting like this was all my fault.
“You’re right. It won’t.” My eyes were cold as I stared at him, and anger drove my feet toward the door. It had been a mistake coming here. One I wouldn’t be making again.
“Isobel…” he called after me, but I walked through the door without looking back, closing it firmly behind me. I didn’t want to hear any more of what Noah had to say. I knew he wasn’t changing his mind about us.
I was certain there was no way I’d be able to follow my mom’s advice. I couldn’t wait for things between Noah and I to blow over because my self-control around him was feeble. More time only meant more opportunities to make mistakes. I kept messing up with him, and I hated to think what might transpire if he asked me to kiss him again. I liked to think I’d turn him down, but I clearly had no restraint when it came to his lips. My attempt at setting boundaries had ended disastrously too.
I felt a desperate need to be proactive. To do something, anything, to get over him. To give me the strength I needed so I wouldn’t be stupid enough to kiss him again. There was only one way I could think to do it, and I was probably going to regret it. But desperate times called for desperate measures. So, I was going to have to give Anna and Norma’s advice a go.
