Giulia looked at me with wide eyes. My brain was working slower than usual. Her taste lingered on my tongue, and my thighs were still warm from her pretty ass. Despite my promise to keep my distance, I’d practically dragged her onto my lap the first chance I got. She hadn’t resisted. Because she wanted me, or because she feared to refuse me?
Simona’s cries grew in intensity.
“She’s probably hungry.”
“Okay?” Giulia looked like a deer in the headlights.
I sighed and stood, rearranging my dick so it wasn’t as obvious. “Come on, I’ll show you everything.” Giulia pulled a robe over and followed after me. I was on the way downstairs to prepare the bottle, but Giulia froze. “Shouldn’t we console her first before going down into the kitchen?”
I considered that then nodded slowly. Sybil had prepared the bottle while I took care of Simona. Once Sybil fed her, I returned to bed.
Giulia and I went to Simona’s bedroom and walked in. I turned the lights on. Simona’s face scrunched up with her cries, her skin already turning red. Her cries tore at me. She’d always been a crier, but since Gaia’s death, it had become worse. Now every one of her cries seemed to ring with an undertone of accusation, and my guilt weighed heavy on my shoulders.
I walked over to the crib and picked Simona up, cradling her in my arms. She quieted only briefly. Sighing, I headed back to the door where Giulia was hovering with an uncertain expression. “You don’t know anything about children, right?”
She hesitated. “Only what I’ve read.”
That was what I’d suspected. Her parents made it sound like she was a practiced babysitter, but of course that had been tactic. Rocking Simona gently, I headed downstairs, Giulia close behind me. I could only hope Daniele wouldn’t wake as well. I couldn’t comfort them both, not that he would let me console him.
Stifling my frustration, I entered the kitchen. It had been a while since I’d prepared a bottle, but Sybil had set everything out in preparation.
I nodded toward the bottles and formula. “You have to prepare the bottle.”
Giulia’s eyes snapped to me. “I’ve never done it.”
I sighed then held Simona out to her. “Then you’ll have to hold her while I show you how to do it.”
Giulia glanced at my daughter, swallowing. Embarrassment filled her face as she met my gaze, and I knew what she’d say before she did. “I’ve never held a baby in my life.”
For a moment, I felt the urge to lash out at her verbally, but I shoved it down. Giulia had even less say in marrying me than I did. It wasn’t her fault that she didn’t know the first thing about being a mother. “It’s not difficult. Just hold out your arms and take her.”
“What if I drop her? Or hurt her? Or—”
“Giulia, it’s going to be fine. You won’t drop her, and you won’t hurt her.”
Giulia nodded and finally held out her arms. I put Simona into them, and Giulia immediately cradled her to her chest. “Oh, she’s heavier than I thought.”
I hovered beside her to see if she could handle it, but Giulia only had eyes for Simona. She looked terrified and a little lost. Then Simona did what she always did when anyone but me or my sisters or mother held her; she began bawling, her tiny arms and legs thrashing as she tried to squirm away from the stranger.
Giulia’s eyes grew wide, scared, as she sought my gaze for help.
Sighing, I went over to the bottles. “Try to console her. She needs to get used to you.” Simona had never taken to Sybil or the other maids. If the same happened with Giulia, months of sleepless nights would turn into years and my daughter would remain without a mother figure in her life. It was an option I didn’t want to entertain.
“Shh… Shh.” Giulia rocked Simona, but even from afar I could see her anxiety, and Simona could probably feel it too. The crying didn’t cease. If possible, it got even more intense. I moved faster, preparing the formula, trying not to let the cries snap my patience. I wanted to call Felix right this moment and tell him that he’d regret lying to me, that I’d find a way to make him pay. The best way, of course, to pay him back would be to nullify our marriage because he’d cheated me of a promised mother figure. With the bottle, I walked over to Giulia, who looked close to tears herself. But it would be absolutely dishonorable to cancel the marriage at this point, and not just that…. Nothing in this world would make me give up Giulia now that I had her. Maybe she wasn’t the mother my children needed, but fuck, she was what I craved.
The moment I took Simona from Giulia, her shoulders sagged with relief. Simona quieted in my hold and accepted the bottle, watching me with teary eyes, her chubby cheeks blotchy.
“I’m sorry,” Giulia said. Guilt filled her expression.
I didn’t say anything. Slowly, I made my way back upstairs and into Simona’s room. Giulia was quiet. I should say something, tell her it would get better, but I wasn’t sure if it was true.
Giulia watched me the entire time that I fed my daughter. Simona was calm as I cradled her against my chest. “Should I try to hold her again?” she asked, uncertain.
“No,” I clipped. I couldn’t bear another crying fit.
Giulia nodded slowly, looking away. Silence settled over us, only disturbed by the suckling sounds of Simona drinking her bottle. When she was finally done, my eyes burned with exhaustion. I tried to put Simona back down in her crib, but the moment I did, she began wailing again.
With a small sigh, I went over to the rocking chair in the corner and sank down. The thing groaned under my weight. “You can go to sleep. I don’t need you.”
Giulia winced as if I’d slapped her. She turned, walked out, and silently closed the door.
I rocked, watching my daughter who looked wide awake. This would be another sleepless night.
Simona had eventually fallen asleep so I was able to catch two hours of sleep before my alarm rang at six. Groaning, feeling bone-tired, I straightened in bed. Giulia sat up too. Just like after our first night together, her eyes were puffy from crying. Maybe our bond was doomed the same way my bond with Gaia had been.
“Good morning,” she said, tugging a strand of hair behind her ear and straightening her bangs. “I didn’t hear you come to bed.”
“It was late. Simona wouldn’t fall asleep.”
Giulia bit her lip. “Sybil’s going to be here today, right?”
I nodded. “You don’t have to worry. You won’t have to be alone with my children yet. Sybil will show you how to take care of them until you know what to do. But Sybil’s main job is to clean and cook.”
“Okay,” she said softly.
“I’m going to get ready. Your bodyguards are coming over at seven so I can introduce you before I leave for work.”
“Are they your late wife’s bodyguards?”
Fury burned in my chest. “No.” Which was mostly the truth.
Giulia got out of bed, but her eyes were on me. “When will you be home tonight?”
“I don’t know.” I headed into the bathroom and closed the door. The hot shower did nothing to dissipate the heavy sense of exhaustion.
While Giulia got ready, I dressed in my usual three-piece suit before I headed to Daniele’s room. As expected, he wasn’t inside. I found him on Gaia’s bed, still in his PJs, staring down at his tablet. “Daniele, you know you aren’t supposed to be in here.”
He didn’t react, except for rounding in his small shoulders and jutting out his chin. I went over to him and picked him up. He squirmed in my hold, but I didn’t set him down.
“It’s enough,” I snapped. My patience was running thin after last night.
He only struggled harder. My chest tightened in a mix of despair and frustration. “Daniele, stop it now!”
He froze and so did Giulia, who was watching from her spot in the doorway to our bedroom.
Simona began wailing in her room. Seconds later, the dog began barking up a storm downstairs. I stopped and for a moment, sure I’d lose it. Swallowing hard, I went over to Giulia and set Daniele down in front of her.
“Get him dressed and don’t allow him to spend all day on the tablet. I’ll take care of Simona.” I didn’t wait for her reply.
Turning my back on her and my son’s accusing little face, I headed to my daughter. Once in her room, I rested my forehead against the cool door for a couple of heartbeats before finally I felt in a state of mind to console my little girl.
Giulia
I stood frozen, staring down at the little boy. What had just happened? Daniele had struggled against Cassio’s grip as if he was terrified of him. And for a moment, Cassio had appeared as if he was on the verge of losing control.
Loulou kept barking downstairs, but Simona quieted eventually, probably because Cassio had taken her out of her crib. Remembering last night’s mess, I squared my shoulders and squatted before the little boy.
“Hello, Daniele. I’m Giulia.”
Daniele looked at me with miserable milk-chocolate-brown eyes. His caramel-blond hair was a tousled mess and even looked knotted in places, as if it hadn’t been combed properly in a long time.
“How about we get you ready for the day?”
He didn’t react, only stared. My stomach tightened. This kid was hurting. His mother had died only a few months ago, and his dad was obviously overwhelmed by the situation. I didn’t know what had happened, didn’t know the extent of Daniele’s trauma, but it was obvious that he needed help. He looked thin too.
I straightened and held out my hand. “Will you show me to your room?”
Nothing. He looked down at the tablet clutched in his hand and turned it on. A sort of game with colorful balloons popped up. I didn’t want to forcefully carry him into his room like Cassio might have done. That wouldn’t help me getting the boy’s trust.
“Daniele, please, help me? I’m new here and I need you to show me your room. Will you help me?” I waited with extended hand.
Daniele didn’t take my hand or look up from the tablet, but he moved toward his room. I followed him inside. He sank down on his bed, the tablet on his lap.
Looking around, I spotted a wardrobe on the right side. Everything was in neutral tones: the walls, furniture, rugs—except for the colorful stuffed toy dinosaurs on the shelves and on his bed. I’d have to do something about that. In my research about children, I’d found images of beautiful hand drawings for nurseries.
After some rummaging, I finally found a pair of jean pants and a sweatshirt. Most of the clothes inside the drawers were for warmer temperatures and most of the winter clothes that I’d found looked too small for Daniele. I headed back to him and knelt down in front of him, tilting my head to see his face. He was focused on the screen, but briefly his lashes fluttered up. “Can you dress yourself?”
I didn’t know when kids learned things like that. When Daniele didn’t react, I reached for his tablet. He let out an enraged cry and turned away. “Daniele, we need to get you dressed.”
I took the tablet and Daniele threw himself at me, completely catching me off guard. The way I was kneeling, I had no chance to brace myself. I fell back and landed on my back with Daniele on top of me as he fought me for the tablet. His nails scratched my cheek.
“Enough!” Cassio roared and Daniele’s weight lifted off me. I jerked into a sitting position, still stunned. Cassio stood over me, clutching Daniele against his side, restraining the little boy’s thrashing arms. “I said enough!”
Daniele froze in Cassio’s hold. Cassio’s expression was thunderous. I swallowed and slowly scrambled to my feet. Cassio’s eyes slanted to my cheek, which was throbbing. I touched the spot and my fingertips came away stained with blood.
“Goddamn it,” Cassio said harshly, his voice shaking with an emotion I couldn’t place. He looked down at the now motionless boy in his arms. Daniele wasn’t the only one who was hurting. He went over to a changing table I hadn’t even noticed before and set Daniele down on it. I picked up the tablet from the floor and put it on the bed before I approached Cassio. I held out the clothes I’d chosen for Daniele.
Cassio nodded at the table. I put the clothes down as I watched Cassio undress Daniele who was still wearing diapers. Surprise washed over me. Shouldn’t he be potty-trained at almost three?
“Can you change a diaper?” Cassio asked, but his voice held an edge that suggested he knew the answer was no.
I shook my head. “I can learn.”
Cassio’s mouth thinned into a line. He changed the diaper quickly, and Daniele didn’t as much as twitch, only stubbornly stared off to the side. After that, Cassio got his son dressed. As suspected, the clothes were on the verge of being too small. Not too wide because he was thin, but definitely too short. Cassio lowered Daniele to the floor, and the boy went over to his tablet at once.
“For a while he didn’t need a diaper, then…” Cassio fell silent.
Then Gaia died.
“Is that why he’s so thin and not talking?”
Cassio swallowed and his expression hardened. “Yes. See if you can get him to eat more than a few morsels of food.”
Cassio scanned my face, his eyes lingering on my scratched cheek once more. “This was a mistake.”
Me. He meant I was a mistake because I wasn’t what he’d expected. But he and his family weren’t what I’d expected either.
So many things needed fixing in this house. Daniele, the boy with a trauma because of his mother’s death and his father’s possible involvement. Simona, who wailed the second I touched her. Loulou who’d never learned to be a family dog. And Cassio who dealt with demons I had no clue about.
Cassio rubbed his hand over his stubble then sighed. “This isn’t one of the dresses I bought for you. You can’t wear this when you meet your bodyguards.”
I glanced down. I wore black tights, a black pleated miniskirt with suspenders, and a yellow cashmere sweater. It wasn’t fancy, but certainly nice enough for a day at home. “I don’t see why I need to dress up for them.”
Cassio’s eyes flashed. “Giulia, don’t test my patience. Not right now. I didn’t marry so I’d have another stubborn child to deal with.”
Gritting my teeth against a snappy comeback, I turned around. I didn’t want to fight with Cassio, but I wouldn’t change into one of those stuck-up dresses when there was absolutely no reason to do so. I didn’t get far. An arm wrapped around my stomach and sharply pulled me back so I was pressed to a hard body. Cassio’s palm pressed flat against my belly, holding me in place as he leaned down. “You will change now.”
The low command vibrated through my body in a way that thrilled and scared me.
“What’s your problem?”
“My problem is that you keep disobeying me and that your skirt is far too short when I’m not around.”
I laughed. I couldn’t help it. Even my mother had never considered my clothes too daring or sexy, and she was conservative. The miniskirt might be short, but the tights were opaque, and my sweater certainly didn’t scream sexy vamp.
“I’m not joking,” Cassio growled.
I laughed again. “You’re being unreasonable.”
Cassio turned me around, one arm around my waist, the other cupping the back of my head. It wasn’t an intimate, loving gesture. It was dominance. “Don’t fight me on this. Not this. I won’t have you around men in that skirt when I’m not with you. Understood?”
His eyes burned with angry possession. I probably would have said more, but the sound of Daniele’s game reminded me that he was in the room behind us.
“Understood,” I said. “Now let go of me.”
He stepped back. I turned and went into our bedroom to change.
When I came downstairs in long black dress pants and a loose-fitting blouse tucked into my waistband, Cassio gave a pleased nod. I felt as if I was wearing a costume. The clothes were uncomfortable. They weren’t me.
“My men are waiting in my office to meet you.”
“What about Simona? Where is she?”
“With Sybil in the kitchen. After I’ve introduced you to your bodyguards, you need to get Daniele down here. He can’t stay in his room all day.”
“I need to go clothes shopping. Nothing fits him.”
“Then do that. Domenico and Elia will accompany you.”
With his hand on the small of my back, he led me down the corridor to a massive wooden door. As we passed the room Loulou was locked in, she barked, causing Cassio’s expression to tighten once more.
His office offered a stunning view of the gardens, beautifully kept as if they belonged to a mansion in the English countryside and not a family home. It didn’t look as if the garden was used at all. Two men sat in wide armchairs across from a sleek oak desk. Both rose the second Cassio and I entered the room. Cassio kept his hand on my back as he motioned at the older man. “This is Domenico.” The man looked to be in his sixties with short gray hair. He looked like he’d served in the military—straight back, perfectly ironed shirt, no-nonsense expression. “It’s a pleasure meeting you, Mrs. Moretti.”
Mrs. Moretti. I glanced at Cassio, my husband. It hadn’t really sunk in yet, not really. “And this is Elia.” My gaze followed that of my husband’s, toward the second man, and he was the complete opposite of Domenico. For one, he was young. Mid-twenties tops. He had wavy light-brown hair that was loosely styled back. His clothes accentuated a muscled body, and his smile came quick. It was easy-going, almost charming, but still with the necessary respect.
“Nice to meet you.”
Cassio looked at me.
“Nice to meet you too,” I said quickly. I was surprised. Domenico was exactly how I’d expected my bodyguards to look, considering how jealous Cassio seemed to be. Elia definitely wasn’t. Maybe that explained why Cassio hadn’t wanted me to wear the miniskirt. Yet it seemed unlikely that he’d choose a man as my bodyguard he didn’t trust absolutely. Cassio thrived on control. He was sure of his power. Or maybe he wanted to confirm the extent of his control, and this was his test. Question was: whom was he testing? Elia or me.
