The Past
This day had been an absolute clusterfuck. Losing two men to those fucking bikers was bad enough. Losing them because we had a rat was worse. I wasn’t sure who he was, not with certainty. Many things pointed to Andrea. He hadn’t been at Christmas dinner two days ago, but he was supposed to watch Gaia today.
It was close to midnight when I entered our home, expecting everyone in bed as usual. Light streamed into the foyer from the living room. Following it, I found Daniele on the sofa playing on a small tablet, his brows puckered in concentration. I went over to him. “Why are you still up?”
“Can’t sleep. Uncle Andrea gave me this.”
“Where is he?”
“Upstairs with Mom. They’re playing.”
He didn’t even look up, completely mesmerized by the colorful screen. It was exactly why I hadn’t wanted him to have one of these things.
“Playing?”
Daniele nodded distractedly. “Yeah. Uncle Andrea gave me this to play too.”
“Stay here and keep playing,” I said firmly and walked toward the stairs, drawing my gun. I crept up the stairs, making sure I didn’t make a sound.
In front of the door to Gaia’s bedroom, I stopped, listening. Behind the door, someone grunted and a woman cried out. They weren’t sounds of torture.
I shoved open the door. It smashed against the wall behind it.
Fury slithered through my veins at the sight before me. Gaia, my heavily pregnant wife, straddled her half-brother, both of them naked.
My wife was fucking her half-brother.
For a second neither of us moved.
Gaia let out a shriek, covering her breasts as if I had less right to see them than her fucking half-brother. A look passed between them, and I knew this had been going on for a long time, maybe longer than she and I had been married.
The bitter taste of betrayal bloomed in my mouth, followed by the irresistible thirst for revenge. I closed the door. Andrea pushed Gaia off him and lunged for the gun on the nightstand. I pulled the trigger. The bullet tore through his palm, blowing it apart. Blood and flesh splattered everywhere.
He roared in agony.
“No!” Gaia shrieked, stumbling to her feet and moving toward the gun. I was by her side in two large steps, wrapped my arms around her ribcage above her belly.
“No!” she shrieked, struggling in my hold. I covered her mouth with my palm and dragged her toward the bathroom. “Stop screaming,” I growled. “Daniele doesn’t need to hear this.”
Her muffled screams didn’t cease. She didn’t care if our son heard this. I pushed her into the bathroom and locked the door before I turned back to Andrea who was coming out of his pain-induced daze. Gaia hammered against the door. Andrea tried for the gun again. I shot his other hand too, feeling sick satisfaction at his cry of agony. He fell back with a choked cry, holding his ruined hands in front of him.
“Don’t hurt Andrea! Don’t, Cassio, or I swear I’ll kill the child in my womb.”
I froze, my eyes slanting to the door, not able to believe what Gaia had said. I stalked into the walk-in closet and grabbed tape and handcuffs before I returned to the bedroom. Andrea wasn’t a danger to me in his current state.
I opened the door and Gaia almost fell toward me. The second she saw what I was holding, she stumbled back and grabbed my cutthroat razor, pressing it to the underside of her belly. “Don’t hurt him, or I’ll cut Simona out of my belly.”
“You’d hurt your daughter for that man?”
“You wouldn’t understand!” she croaked. “I’ve loved him all my life. He’s all that matters.”
“Put the razor down, Gaia, and we can talk.”
“You’ll never let him live. I know you. It’s either him or you.”
“And you want me dead.”
“Yes.” There wasn’t a hint of hesitation in the word. “I’ve wanted you gone for so long. I want nothing more.”
I lunged, grabbing her wrist before she could hurt herself and the baby. Despite her struggles, I managed to tie her feet and hands together and carefully put her down on an array of towels. I covered her mouth with tape so her screams wouldn’t alert Daniele. “I can’t allow you to kill our child.”
Her eyes were frantic as I straightened and left the room. I closed the door with a soft click. Andrea had stumbled to his feet, but I got to him before he could flee. I chained him to the heater with the handcuffs then taped his mouth as well. We’d talk later.
Taking a deep breath, I checked my clothes for blood then changed my shirt before I went downstairs. On the way, I texted Faro that he needed to come over with a doctor who could treat Gaia. I ignored his following questions.
Daniele hovered in the center of the living room, the tablet still in his hand. His small face showed confusion. I smiled despite the darkness swirling in my insides. “You were right. Your mom and Uncle Andrea were playing.”
“I heard screaming.”
I chuckled, even as my throat tightened. “Yeah. They were chasing each other and Mom got startled.”
Heading to his side, I stroked his head. “I’m going to take you to bed now. You can keep playing if you want.”
He nodded. I lifted Daniele and carried him upstairs, relishing the feel of his warm body. He called to the good part of me, a part Andrea wouldn’t get to see today. After I put Daniele in bed, I left and locked his door.
I returned to Gaia’s bedroom. Before I dealt with Andrea, I checked on Gaia again. She still lay where I’d left her. Her eyes begged me to spare Andrea—the man she’d been fucking behind my back for eight years.
I turned my back on her, not able to bear the look in her eyes, and went to Andrea. After unfastening the handcuffs, I grabbed him by one wrist and dragged him after me, enjoying the sound of his muffled cries. He struggled like a madman. I pulled him down the staircase, when Faro entered the lobby with his keys, our most-trustworthy doctor behind him.
Faro’s eyes dipped to Andrea’s bleeding form, widened, then shot back up to meet my gaze. The doctor’s face remained unmoving—he knew the rules. None of what he saw would ever leave this house.
“Gaia’s upstairs,” I said. “Treat her, make sure she and the child are all right. And don’t leave her out of sight for a fucking second. She threatened to hurt the baby.”
I didn’t wait for a reply. Instead, I wrenched Andrea toward the basement door and shoved him down the stairs. The sound of his fall ended with his muffled cry when he landed at the base. I followed after him. Steps rang out behind me. I didn’t have to turn to know it was Faro.
Andrea lay in a crumpled heap at the base of the steps, groaning. I grabbed him again and dragged him toward a soundproof room where I hoisted him onto a chair.
Faro regarded me cautiously. “Is he a rat?”
“Maybe,” I said. “But he’s a man who fucks his sister.”
Faro’s eyes shot open wide as he scanned Andrea’s naked body. “Cassio—”
“Don’t,” I growled. I didn’t want compassion. It was worth less than the dirt under my shoes. Compassion was for the weak and stupid. Maybe I was the second, but definitely not the first.
“Fuck,” Faro said, shaking his head. He knew what would have to happen, what I needed—wanted to do.
I stepped close to Andrea and ripped the tape off. “Now we’ll talk.”
Andrea spat against my chest. “There’s nothing to talk about.”
“Oh, there is.” I grabbed his throat. “How long have you been fucking my wife?”
Andrea smiled grimly. “She’s been mine before she was yours.”
“What does that mean?” I shook him hard.
His eyes rolled back briefly before they met mine. He’d lost a lot of blood, was losing more with every passing second. He wouldn’t leave this basement alive. “We’ve been together since Gaia was fifteen. We’ve been fucking since she was sixteen.”
Rage boiled up in me like an unstoppable wave. “You’re lying.”
“Why? Because she bled your first time together?” He laughed nastily. “There are doctors for everything.”
Almost eight years. That was how long Gaia had been cheating on me. I’d been faithful even when she hardly tolerated my presence most days and had only slept with me once or twice per month. I didn’t care. I kept my marriage vows, and she trampled on them from day one. I trusted her and Andrea, had let him become her only bodyguard because she asked me to. I didn’t give a fuck about what had happened before our wedding night, if she’d been a virgin or not, but every betrayal since then cut me like an acid-coated knife.
My hands balled to fists.
“Remember the bikers,” Faro said, but I barely heard him. “We need info.”
Andrea swallowed. “If you want an heir, you need to keep Gaia alive because Daniele and Simona aren’t yours. They are mine.”
Static rushed in my ears. I threw myself at him, raining punches down on his face, his chest, his stomach. I beat every inch of him I could reach.
“Cassio, stop!” Faro gripped my shoulders, but I shoved him away with a roar, more animal than man. He collided with the wall and crumpled to his feet.
Then I whirled on Andrea again. His gaze said he knew he would die.
My fists burned with every new punch. I hit flesh and bone, even the floor beneath us in my blinding rage. I punched and punched until I couldn’t breathe anymore, until my knuckles throbbed with pain, until my ribcage ached under an invisible weight. Shoving away from the corpse, I sank down against the wall, chest heaving. My knuckles were split from impact with the stone floor.
I gasped for breath and closed my eyes. When I opened them again, I was calm. Andrea was a bloody mess. I didn’t have to check for a pulse to know he was dead. I’d killed many men with a knife, gun, hammer, razorblade, but never with my bare hands. I didn’t let rage dictate my actions. Today I had.
Faro sat across from me, eyeing me warily. “You all right?”
I stretched out my blood-covered arms. My shirt and pants were drenched. My fingers ached when I wiggled them. I smiled wryly. “My wife has been fucking her half-brother our entire marriage… Daniele…” My words died in my mouth, throat becoming dry.
Faro got up with a wince. He stepped over the corpse and almost slipped on the blood. “Fuck,” he growled before he stopped in front of me. He held out his hand.
I took it and let him pull me up, even as sharp pain sliced through my fingers.
Faro touched my shoulder. “Andrea might have said it to provoke you, Cassio. You don’t know if he said the truth. Daniele and the baby could be yours. Do you really think Gaia would have risked putting cuckoo’s eggs in your nest?”
“Don’t call them that,” I rasped.
Faro regarded me with penetrating intensity that set my teeth on edge. “Andrea knew what awaited him. A slow death, hours of brutal torture until he’d given up all his secrets. By provoking you, he got a quick death.”
I regarded the bloody mess on the floor. “I doubt it was the painless end he’d hoped for.”
“Not painless, no,” Faro said, following my gaze. “But fairly quick. Better than he deserved if you ask me.”
I leaned back against the wall, not sure where to go from here. My wife had betrayed me, had admitted that she’d rather see me dead, had threatened to kill our baby… if it was even ours.
My chest constricted until every breath was a struggle.
“What are you going to do now?” Faro asked. I met his cautious gaze. “With Gaia,” he clarified, as if I didn’t know.
“I don’t know.” I couldn’t—wouldn’t kill her. She was still my wife, still the mother of Daniele and Simona. My head fell forward under the force of emotions slamming into me.
“Cassio.” Faro squeezed my shoulder, his voice imploring.
“Call my father. Ask him to come over. He needs to know. Don’t alert anyone else yet. We need to come up with a story.”
“You’ll keep Gaia’s affair a secret?”
“Of course. I don’t want people to know. We’ll blame this on Andrea. Declare him a traitor, as he probably was anyway.”
“Gaia might know more. If she was his lover, they might have talked.”
I shook Faro’s grip off. A new wave of rage and despair rose in me. “I need to check on her.”
“Cassio,” Faro said, gripping my shoulder. “Even if you don’t kill her, you can’t trust her anymore. Your marriage is over.”
I didn’t say anything, only walked up the stairs. I found Gaia and the doctor in her bedroom. She lay in bed, looking drugged. The doctor was covered in sweat and had a swelling on his forehead. “She struggled. I had to sedate her and drag her to bed. She would have hurt herself and the baby otherwise.”
Doctor Sal scanned my blood-covered clothes. “Should I check on your injuries?”
“Is the baby okay?” I asked from the doorway, unable to go in, to go anywhere closer to my wife and the bed she’d betrayed me in.
“It is. Of course, it’s not ideal that I had to sedate her. If she’s still this hysterical when she wakes, we might have to restrain her. I can’t keep giving her sedatives in her state.”
“Can we get the baby now?”
Sal shook his head. “Theoretically. But we should give it another two to three weeks at least.”
How could I make sure the baby was safe? I’d have to keep an eye on Gaia 24/7 and hope she got over Andrea’s death. I knew I was foolish for hoping she could. And really, what could I hope for at this point? That we’d live under a roof, hating each other? Gaia would spend every waking moment wishing for my cruel death, and I’d spend every breath I took resenting her for what she’d done. This marriage was dead. It had been from the very start.
“Stay with her,” I said. I walked out and into the master bedroom where I showered quickly and dressed before I headed to Daniele’s room.
He’d fallen asleep, curled up on his side in bed. Slowly, I walked over to him and sank down on the floor. I stroked his unruly hair. He looked like Gaia. It’s what everyone had been saying from the very start. Her brown eyes and dark-blond hair, even her facial features. He had nothing of me. My sisters and mother had similar dark-blond hair color, so I’d assumed he’d inherited it from them. I closed my eyes. Andrea and Gaia shared very similar looks. If Andrea was Daniele’s father, that explained why he had nothing of me.
Acute pain sliced through my chest. I looked at the little boy I loved more than anything in the world. I’d never loved Gaia, not for herself. I’d respected and cared for her because she’d given me the purest gift in the world: a child.
I stood abruptly. Voices sounded in the corridor, one of them belonging to Father. I stepped outside, finding Faro and my father talking in urgent whispers. The moment Father looked at me, I wished I could have kept this from him. He limped toward me, looking pale and weak. He gripped my shoulder, his eyes searching mine. “If you want to make Gaia disappear after the baby is born, nobody would blame you, least of all me, my son.”
I nodded. It wouldn’t be the first time a Made Man killed his wife for cheating. Would things have been different if Gaia hadn’t been pregnant? Would I have killed her like I had Andrea? I’d killed women before. The whores the bikers kept around to suck their dicks—but they’d been armed and trying to kill me and my men.
Gaia was still a woman, still my wife, still the mother of Simona and Daniele. I wouldn’t kill her unless it was her life against that of my children or mine.
“I don’t want her to disappear.”
Father looked puzzled. “Faro told me everything. How do you want to keep her around? She’s a danger to you.”
“I’m not worried about my life but those of my children.”
Father glanced at Faro then back at me. “You don’t know if they even are your children. You need to have a test as soon as possible.”
“And then?” I growled.
Father shrugged as if the matter was easy. “If they aren’t yours, we can send Gaia and them to live with her family, and you can find a new wife who can give you children.”
Giving away Daniele? Even our unborn baby girl had already lodged herself into my heart since I’d first heard her heartbeat and seen the ultrasound image.
Father clutched my shoulder more tightly. “Cassio, be reasonable. You need an heir. You can’t want to raise the children of another man. For God’s sake, those kids might be the result of incest. It’s sin.”
“Sin,” I repeated, chuckling bitterly. “I beat a man to death with my bare hands today. I skinned and burned a biker today to get information. I’ve killed more men than I can remember. We sell drugs, weapons. We blackmail and torture. How can a child be a sin?”
Father lowered his arm. “Let’s postpone this discussion to another day.”
“There won’t be another discussion, Father. Daniele and Simona are my children, end of story. Anyone who claims otherwise will have to pay the price.” Part of my resolve was cowardice. I was scared of the truth, scared of looking into Daniele’s face and not seeing my son, but Andrea’s. I’d never allow that to happen.
Father straightened. “Don’t forget who you are talking to.”
“I’m not. I respect you. Don’t destroy this by saying something I won’t forgive.”
Father leaned more heavily on his cane, letting out a deep sigh. “If you prefer to live in the dark.”
“The dark is where we’re all most comfortable.” I nodded at Faro. “Get rid of the body.” He inclined his head then turned to do his job. I could always count on him. But trusting him after today? I’d never trust anyone ever again.
My gaze settled on Gaia, whom I could see lying on the bed from my vantage point.
“How will you ever be able to look into her face again after what she’s done?” Father asked.
“I doubt it’ll be an issue. She probably won’t ever look into my face after what I’ve done to Andrea.”
Three weeks later, Simona was born by Cesarean section. Gaia’s emotional state had worsened, so we had to restrain her at night and have her watched every minute of the day, even when she went to the toilet. Elia, Sybil, and Mia took turns keeping an eye on her. I couldn’t even be in the same room with her without her getting hysterical. I gladly avoided her, however. Even though I hadn’t loved her, her betrayal cut me in a way I hadn’t thought possible. My home had been my safe haven, a place where I could relax after grueling workdays, and my children were the light of my life. Now everything was draped in bitter darkness.
Daniele didn’t understand why he couldn’t visit his mother, but I was scared for him and scared of what she’d tell him. Gaia had always been vindictive, and now she had a reason to hate me.
When I held Simona the day after her birth, because Gaia didn’t want me there during labor, I fell in love with that little girl. Blood meant little in this moment, and I’d never allow it to.
Gaia didn’t get over Andrea’s death. I was foolish to think she could for the sake of Daniele and Simona. For a while, she made me believe she did. She took pills that calmed her, and eventually she almost seemed like her old self. Sybil and Mia still had to take over most of the care for Daniele and Simona. But things seemed to be looking up. We managed to play our roles in public, managed to avoid each other behind closed doors. Sometimes we settled for politeness, but the hatred in Gaia’s eyes always reminded me of the reality of our situation. I’d killed the man she loved. She would never forgive me, and I didn’t need her forgiveness. I only needed her to find it in her to take care of our children.
But Gaia focused most of her love and attention on the last gift from Andrea: Loulou. She treated the dog as if it was a human, lavished it with tenderness and loving words she should have given only Daniele and Simona.
I didn’t allow her to be alone with our children. Sybil or Mia had to be around because I still wasn’t sure if Gaia wouldn’t kill our children just to hurt me as much as Andrea’s death hurt her. I never considered her capable of infanticide, but now I wasn’t so sure. Images of my children’s lifeless bodies haunted my nightmares.
We lived a lie, which became more and more unbearable every day, but at the same time, I got used to it.
Four months after Simona’s birth, on the day of our eighth anniversary, Gaia ended it all. I’d made dinner reservations in our favorite restaurant for appearance’s sake, but the moment I came home I knew something was wrong.
It was awfully quiet in the house. Too silent. I was a man who enjoyed the quiet, but this kind of silence rang too loudly, bounced off the walls in ominous echoes.
I found Sybil asleep on the sofa. Shaking her, she came to but her eyes remained unfocused. “I’m sorry, master. I must have fallen asleep.”
“That’s not just sleep. I told you to be wary around Gaia!” I snarled, releasing her. “Where are Daniele and Simona?”
Sybil blinked, then her eyes widened with fear. I began running up the stairs then froze on the second-floor landing. Small bloody paw prints covered the beige carpet.
My heart clenched so tightly, for a moment I was sure I had a heart attack. It ran in our family, after all. I stormed toward Simona’s bedroom, ripping the door open, then stumbled toward the crib. Simona lay unmoving and everything in me stilled. In the one second I considered her death, I understood why Gaia wanted to kill herself after losing Andrea. I wrenched Simona up so fast, she came awake with an ear-splitting scream. God, it was the most beautiful sound in the world. I clutched her to my chest despite her relentless cries and kissed the top of her head over and over again.
Loulou barked then squeaked. Simona in my arms, I walked out of the room. Daniele stood in the corridor a few steps from his mother’s bedroom, clamping Loulou against his chest. The dog squirmed wildly. As I came closer, I saw its fur was covered in blood and so was its muzzle. Daniele’s arms, too, were red. I rushed toward him and knelt down, holding Simona in one arm as I touched his cheek. “Daniele, what happened?” My fingers flew over his small body, looking for injuries, but he was unscathed.
“Found Loulou. Where’s Mom?”
The dog snapped wildly until Daniele finally dropped it. It rushed through the crack of the door into Gaia’s bedroom. Daniele made a move as if to follow. I grabbed his wrist. Cold dread pierced my every bone. “No. Were you in there?”
“Mom was asleep. Is she awake now?”
My throat clogged up. “No. She’s still sleeping. Go downstairs to Sybil. She needs to clean you.”
Daniele jutted his chin out. “I want Mom.”
“Daniele, go downstairs.”
Slowly, he backed away then disappeared down the stairs. Simona had quieted in my hold. She was too small to understand, and yet I couldn’t take her into the bedroom with me knowing what I’d find.
I returned her to her crib before I slowly made my way to Gaia’s bedroom. Pushing open the door, I slipped inside. A familiar scent drifted into my nose; it had never meant anything to me, but from this day on it would. Even knowing what I’d find, the sight slammed into me like a punch to the gut. I approached the bed slowly. One of Gaia’s arms hung limply down the side of the bed, still dripping blood onto the hardwood floor. Loulou perched beneath it, licking the sticky fingertips eagerly. It sat in a puddle of blood—the amount of which told me that I didn’t have to call an ambulance. My business required I knew how much blood a human body could lose before I needed to take countermeasures to prevent a premature death—before all the necessary information was extracted from the person.
Gaia was gone.
Blood kept dripping down on Loulou, and the goddamn thing kept licking it up eagerly. Enraged, I snatched the dog up by its neck, staggered toward the door, and tossed it into the hallway. It landed with a squeak before it dashed off.
I stared down at my blood-covered hands then at the lifeless body of my wife. Slowly, I closed the door in case Daniele came by. A bloody handprint remained on the white-lacquered wood.
Daniele didn’t need to see more of this. I turned back to the gruesome scene. The red roses one of the maids had bought for Gaia as a gift for our eighth anniversary lay crumpled beside the limp body. Red roses to match the blood-stained sheets and her white dress. A desperate attempt to mend a marriage that couldn’t be mended. Proof of my own failure.
Seconds ticked by as I regarded my wife. Even lifeless, she was still beautiful. She’d chosen to wear her wedding dress when she killed herself. It still fit her perfectly. The crystals on her bodice glittered in the glow of the lamp. A few of them were sprinkled with blood, making them appear like rubies. They matched the gemstones in her necklace. She’d even curled her hair the same way she’d worn it on the day we made our vows. How long had she planned this?
Picking up my phone, I called Father. I rarely called him after dinnertime. He and Mother spent their evenings watching classics or playing backgammon. Now that he’d retired, they had time for it. Their love had been something I strived for as a young man, before marriage, before Gaia.
“Cassio, don’t you have a dinner reservation with Gaia?”
A dinner to flaunt our failed marriage in public. “Gaia is dead.”
Silence. “Can you repeat that?”
“Gaia is dead.”
“Cassio—”
“Someone needs to clean this up before the kids see it. Send a clean-up crew and inform Luca.”
I hung up. A sheet of paper on the bed beside Gaia’s body caught my eye. I crept toward the bed. Death didn’t bother me, not when I was the harbinger of it so often, but every fiber of my being revolted against going anywhere near the corpse of my wife. The opposite arm that wasn’t hanging off the side of the bed was draped over her chest. The blood from the slit wrist had soaked the fabric of her wedding dress. Her lifeless brown eyes fixed on the ceiling, even in death they were full of accusation. I closed her eyelids then picked up her last letter with shaking fingertips.
Her elegant handwriting and the expensive stationery promised a love letter, but of course it was nothing like that.
My breathing had slowed as I read Gaia’s letter to me. I couldn’t move, could only stare down at her last words. I wasn’t sad about losing her. I’d never had her to begin with. She’d been Andrea’s, even after his death. I felt a deep sadness over what this meant for Daniele and Simona and a raging madness toward the people who were responsible for this mess. Toward her parents who’d forced her into a marriage with me, even though they’d known the truth. It was incest. Their love had been doomed like ours, but her parents had let me run into an open knife, hadn’t warned me when I allowed Andrea to spend every day alone with my wife.
A knock sounded but I didn’t react. The door opened then. Faro slipped in and appeared beside me. He said something but his words were muffled. He took the letter from me. I let him. It didn’t matter if he read it.
“Cassio!” He shook me hard, and finally my focus snapped to him. Behind him, my father leaned heavily on his walking stick, looking furious as he scanned the letter.
“Don’t you dare feel guilty, Cassio,” he muttered. “That’s what she wanted. She cheated on you, probably helped her brother leak information to the bikers, tried to kill your children. She’s not worth a flicker of your guilt.”
Faro met my gaze. “You didn’t choose to marry her either. You both were thrown into this marriage for tactical purposes. You aren’t any guiltier than she is.”
And yet I felt it. “I don’t know how much Daniele saw of this.”
Father grimaced. “He won’t understand either way.”
“I locked that damn dog into the storage room. It was covered in blood,” Faro said.
I nodded distractedly, but my gaze returned to Gaia. My wife had killed herself because of me. I’d been the final nail in her coffin, but her parents had built the fucking thing.
“Take care of everything,” I said. “I need to deal with something.”
Father gripped my arm. “Son, tell me you won’t do anything foolish?” I rarely saw fear in his eyes, but there it was.
“Not the kind of foolishness you fear. It’s an act of cowardice and a crime toward the ones left behind.” I ripped away from his grip and stalked away.
Faro hurried after me. “Do you need my help?”
“No.”
I took the car. Twenty minutes later, I knocked at my in-laws’ house. When they opened the door, I pointed my gun at them. “Let’s talk about Andrea and Gaia.”
The next day, their maid found them dead in their bedroom. They’d shot themselves, unable to bear the death of their son and daughter. That was the official statement.
