Lily collapsed into the chair next to me at breakfast the following morning. She was cradling a cup of coffee to her chest like it was her precious. “I’m so tired,” she said, stifling a yawn.
“I can see that. You’re looking at your coffee like you wish you could inject it into your veins somehow.”
“Oh, that would be the dream,” she said before taking a long sip.
“Why are you so tired?”
“My parents surprised me with a trip home over the weekend,” she said. “I left straight from New York and took an extra couple of days off. I only got back late last night.”
“I was wondering where you’ve been. But that’s so exciting,” I said. “I know how much you miss home. How was it?”
“So good.” She shared a sleepy smile with me. “I got to see all my friends, and my baby sister is getting so big. She’s nearly crawling now.” She fished her phone out and showed me a picture of a tiny baby with a big toothless grin. The little girl had chubby cheeks with adorable dimples, and she shared Lily’s big brown eyes.
“Aww, she’s so cute,” I said.
“Abby’s pretty sweet,” Lily agreed. “But it makes me sad. She’s changing so much and so quickly. I feel like I’m missing everything because I’m here at Weybridge.”
“That must be hard.”
“It’s not easy. Though sleep is a whole lot harder to come by back home. Abby wakes up crying at like 3:00 A.M. every morning. I definitely don’t miss that here.”
“Every morning? Really?”
“Like clockwork. My mom looks like a zombie these days.”
“I’d probably look like a zombie too if I was constantly woken up in the middle of the night.”
“Tell me about it.” She placed her phone back down as she took another sip of her coffee. “So, how was the rest of your weekend in New York?”
“It was fun,” I said. “I had dinner with my dad on Friday night, but mostly I hung out with Anna, Cress, and the twins. We shopped and did some sightseeing and ate so much good food. We went to a club on Saturday night, but that was just chaotic and not really my thing.”
“I don’t think it would be my thing either,” she agreed.
“Yeah, I don’t recommend it.” I focused down on my granola pot. It was mixed with fresh fruit and yogurt and just about the most delicious thing I’d tried for breakfast so far at school. Everyone else raved about the waffles here, but there were only so many mornings a week you could eat them before you were waffled out.
“So, did anything else happen in New York?” Lily asked. “Like maybe you got closer with a certain twin…”
My head jerked up. “You already heard about that?”
Lily’s eyes were wide, and I could tell she hadn’t been certain if she should believe the rumor. “Amber heard you and Wes were acting all adorable together in the library last night, and then apparently you were seen making out in the corridor.”
“Oh, ah, yeah, we did kiss,” I said. “But it was just a kiss. We’re not dating or anything.”
“Really?”
I nodded. “I’m not ready for another boyfriend.”
“So, why were you kissing Wes then?”
“Uh…” I didn’t exactly have a rational explanation for our kiss. “It seemed like a good idea at the time?”
It had felt like the right thing to do last night, but now I wondered if we’d been a bit hasty. Things between us were getting confusing, and I really didn’t want to screw up our friendship. Still, I couldn’t bring myself to regret it.
“Wow.” She sighed. “I wish I could kiss a hot guy just because I felt like it.”
“Why can’t you?”
Her cheeks flushed and she quickly shook her head. “I’m not nearly brave enough for that.”
“I bet you’re braver than you think.”
“Nope. I couldn’t do it even if one of my book boyfriends showed up at school. And some of them are perfect.”
I laughed. “Yeah, guys in the real world have a lot to live up to if you read.”
“I bet Wes would be pretty close.” There was a suggestive look in her eyes. “He’s super sweet and very good-looking.”
“He is,” I agreed. His personality was nothing like Noah’s, and for that I was grateful. I was totally done with the whole dark and brooding type.
“And you really don’t want to date him?” she asked. “I bet he’d be an amazing boyfriend.”
I frowned because she was asking questions I thought I knew the answers to, but I suddenly didn’t feel so certain. Lily was right; Wes would make an amazing boyfriend. He was always so kind and generous, and his kisses were incredible. I loved our friendship, but what if a relationship with him was even better?
I did my best to quickly dislodge that line of thinking with a shake of my head. I was in no state to start another relationship. And I didn’t want to risk losing Wes as a friend for some short-lived fling. Besides, he’d been clear last night that he didn’t see us as anything more than friends.
“I don’t want to date him,” I finally answered Lily. “He’s a really good friend, and that’s it.”
“If you say so…”
“I do.” Although, if I was truly serious, it meant I needed to put a stop to our impulsive kisses, and I didn’t know how to feel about that.
I quickly thought of another subject, not wanting to keep talking about Wes. “So, are you reading anything good at the moment?”
Lily’s eyes lit up, and she happily launched into conversation about her latest fantasy read. She became animated as she explained the story and the characters. I liked how passionate she was whenever she talked about books. She also spared no detail as she told me about some of the more intimate parts of the book, and I had to wonder how someone so quiet and sweet could enjoy such a spicy read.
I laughed as she described one of the scenes. “It sounds like you’re reading some kind of fairy porn.”
“Oh, yeah, some parts are a bit like that,” she admitted, her cheeks turning pink. “But I like the tension between the characters more.”
“I can definitely see why you’re not interested in dating the boys at school.”
“Are you girls talking about book porn without me?” I looked up as Sawyer joined us at the table. “I need details.”
Lily’s cheeks instantly went from pink to flaming red, and she sank into her chair to hide herself. “It’s nothing you want to hear about,” she murmured.
“Clearly, you don’t know me,” Sawyer replied, leaning forward on the table. His eyes sparkled with excitement. “Tell me everything.”
“Maybe later. I have to get to class.” Lily practically choked out her response, and she was up and out of her chair before either of us could stop her.
“Class isn’t for another twenty minutes,” Sawyer called after her, but she was already halfway across the room.
Sawyer leaned back in his chair and sighed. “I miss all the good conversations.”
“You wanted to hear about faerie book porn?” I asked.
He grinned. “Why wouldn’t I?”
I shook my head and focused on my breakfast.
“Speaking of stimulating content,” he continued. “I hear you and my brother put on quite the show last night.”
“We just kissed,” I muttered, wondering how many more people were going to ask me about Wes today.
“Must have been some kiss. I think he’s in love with you.”
“That’s not true, and you know it.”
“Isn’t it?” He gave me a devious smile. “Because everyone’s talking about what a cute couple you are, and I’m wondering if I should start to call you sis?”
My eyes narrowed on him, but he didn’t seem the least bit concerned by my scowl. “Don’t call me sis.”
“But we’re practically family.”
“I think I preferred talking about faerie porn with you.”
“We can always circle back to that,” Sawyer replied.
I stood from the table and collected my empty bowl.
“Where are you going, sis?”
“Class.”
“Was it something I said?” He was grinning wickedly at me, and I could see just how much he was enjoying pushing my buttons. I ignored the comment and left the hall, bumping into Cress as I walked out into the corridor.
She caught my arm. “Where are you off to in such a rush?”
“Sawyer’s a nightmare.”
She laughed. “Tell me something I don’t know.”
“Well, I’m wondering if he’s actually Satan’s spawn.”
“There’s a strong possibility,” she agreed. “Speaking of Montforts, on the way over here, I happened to hear people talking about a certain kiss between you and Wes.”
I let out a sigh. “I guess it was to be expected.” I knew people would talk about our kiss outside the library, but I couldn’t bring myself to regret it. It had been a great kiss. It just sucked that I couldn’t seem to do anything in this school without everyone having an opinion on it. And it was especially hard when I knew my actions might hurt people’s feelings—well, one person’s feelings. I was trying my best to avoid thinking about how Noah would react. I couldn’t imagine he would take it well given our fight in PE the other day.
“Don’t let it worry you. I’m sure they’ll all be gossiping about someone else before the day is through,” Cress replied.
“Want to go make out with someone in the dining hall to take the heat off me?”
She laughed. “I’m a pretty good friend, but I’m not that good a friend.”
“Maybe I should go back and try to convince Sawyer. I bet he’d do it.”
“Probably,” she agreed with a smile. “But I don’t think anyone would bat an eyelid at Sawyer making a scene, so they’ll probably still be more interested in you. You just need to suck it up and get through the day. It will be better tomorrow.”
“You promise?”
“I promise.”
Despite Cress’s reassurance, the whispers didn’t let up at all that day and carried over into the next. A few girls asked me about it at breakfast the next morning, and a freshman boy even asked me if I wanted to go to the library with him. He blew me kisses and then ran back to his friends laughing.
I certainly didn’t enjoy the attention, but after dating and breaking up with Noah—and the bombshell about my dad—I was growing all too used to it. I might have been able to ignore it entirely, but the more people talked, the more I worried about how Noah would feel. He had to have heard about the kiss by now, and it left me feeling terrible. We might not be able to be together, but I knew he still cared.
I kept waiting to run into him, but he wasn’t in any of my classes on Wednesday, and there was no sign of him on Thursday either.
It seemed like too much of a coincidence that he would disappear from school at the same time everyone was gossiping about Wes and me. There had to be another explanation. Noah wasn’t the kind of guy who would let mere rumors about a girl he dumped worry him. I wanted to ask Cress if she knew why her cousin wasn’t in school, but I didn’t want her to know I was thinking about him. So, the question remained unanswered in my mind.
“I hear you’ve moved on quickly.”
I had to smother a dark scowl as Veronica turned to me, a smirk lifting the corner of her mouth. I hated that I was stuck sitting behind her in English. She always had some snide remark for me, and today was no different. She must have cheered the moment she heard I’d kissed Wes. I imagined she felt she was one step closer to finally snagging Noah for herself.
“Aw, Veronica, I didn’t know you cared,” I replied. I tried to focus on the book I was supposed to be reading, but Veronica didn’t want to take the hint.
“Oh, I don’t. I’m just pleased to see you’ve finally proved me right.”
She was dangling bait in front of me, and I really shouldn’t have taken it, but I couldn’t help myself. I lifted my gaze to hers once more. “And how have I done that?”
“It’s just clear you never truly cared about Noah. Anyone who did would never be able to forget him so fast. You were obviously just using him.”
My hands clenched into fists under the table as I tried to contain my anger. “You don’t know anything about how I feel about him.”
She shrugged. “I’m not the only one that thinks that.”
“I’m sure you are,” Cress fired back. “And anyone who couldn’t see how much they both meant to each other is clearly blind.”
Veronica turned her smug smile on Cress. She didn’t seem the least bit bothered by her outburst. “Where is your cousin anyway? No one’s seen him at school in days…”
Cress stiffened. “Noah’s been sick.”
She’d responded so awkwardly that I wondered whether Noah was truly unwell. Either way, Veronica seemed to accept Cress’s reasoning, and she placed a hand against her chest in dismay. “Oh, the poor thing. I better go check on him. See if he’s okay.”
“He’s resting. I’m sure he doesn’t need or want your help,” Cress replied.
“No. If I know Noah, he’ll need someone to care for him right now. And I know all the best ways to care for him.”
My nails dug into the palms of my hands as my fists clenched tighter. I didn’t even want to think about what Veronica was insinuating.
She didn’t give either of us a chance to respond before she turned to the front of the classroom, lifting a hand in the air. “Mr. Wagner, I need a pass for the school nurse. I have a terrible headache.”
The teacher barely opened his mouth to answer her when Veronica gathered her things and started for the front of the room. She looked back in my direction when she reached the door and gave me a knowing smile before disappearing from the room.
“Noah’s going to kill me,” Cress murmured.
“Is he really sick?”
“Uh, he’s actually—”
“You know what, I don’t want to know. The less I know about Noah, the better.”
I didn’t want to think about Noah, but he remained on my mind for the rest of class. I kept wondering if Veronica had found him. If he was letting her look after him like she’d said she would. I knew I shouldn’t let her get to me, and I was probably a hypocrite for being hurt he was moving on. But I still cared for him. I just wondered when it was going to stop.
