Ever get that feeling that someone’s ignoring you? The feeling that last time you saw them, you did something unforgivable, like a fart in an elevator? Yeah, well that’s me. Every time I think about Reign, I get this constant nagging feeling, gnawing in my stomach. In fact, if I didn’t know she had nowhere to go, I’d think she’d moved out. In the morning, the first thing I do is check if she’s opened that damn curtain, blocking my view of her. She’s kept the window closed too so it’s not like I can hear when she’s in there either. When I get home from training or classes, my gaze can’t help but look over at her house, wondering if I should just go over there, burst the door down and kiss the shit out of her.
Am I a stalker? Maybe?
Am I a creeper? Definitely.
I can’t help it. This girl has me tied around her little finger and she doesn’t even know it. The more days go by, the more I wonder if rejecting her when she was drunk was the right thing. Maybe I should have laid all my feelings out there for her. But what if she was just drunk and horny and doing her best to get me to sleep with her again because she was finally going to take me up on her offer? Of being my fuck buddy. The way she’s been acting over the last week and how much she’s been hanging out with Adam would have me believe that narrative.
I scrubbed my hand across my face, tired of thinking about this. She’s just a girl. A girl that only wants me for my dick. I don’t have time to worry about her. Spinning my phone in my hand, I consider calling Chloe again. I’ve been calling her at least once a day, trying to make sure she’s not going to seduce any more employees to get access to the supply closet. On the drive to drop her off, she gave me intricate details about how she managed to escape the first time. She could give James Bond a run for his money. I couldn’t help but point out that if she had put as much effort into getting better as she did to escaping, maybe none of us would be in this position right now.
Did she like hearing that? Nope. It sobered the mood as badly as Covid during Christmas, but I needed to give her a reality check. This is serious stuff that will affect the rest of her life if she’s not careful. When I dropped her off, she cried into my shoulder for the better part of an hour. Every time I call her, I get the same silent sobbing. Her psychiatrists say it’s all normal, just her way of working through the grief. So, I let her. Today, she actually talked, giving me more hope than I’ve had in a while. Things will be okay with her. I just know it.
I tossed my phone to the side. Chloe will call me if she needs me. I, on the other hand, need to get this essay done. It’s probably the last one I’ll write as a college student, having already declared I’m entering the draft a couple of months back, I know I won’t be coming back if I’m lucky enough to be drafted.
I’m the only one in the house that’s leaving. Aiden and Jackson aren’t eligible and Matty and Adam decided to stay for another year. If I didn’t have the financial worries, I’d probably do the same, just to make sure I had a college education to fall back on, but I need to do what’s right for my family right now.
I scratched my head as I read the same line in this textbook over and over again. I can’t help it. Every time I try to think about writing, my mind wanders back to Reign and those perfectly pouty lips of hers. That infectious laugh and the way I feel like a calm river whenever she’s around. I’ve tried texting her with a few jokes to see if that would break the ice, but I barely get a response out of her. I know she’s in that room at night because I can see the light pouring out from under the curtain. Is that her subtle way of telling me she’s not interested in me anymore? Maybe, but I’m not giving up without a fight, or at least a discussion.
I padded down the stairs, abandoning my essay for the time being in hopes that some Ding Dongs will help me think. Matty and Jackson are sitting at the kitchen table, going through some of their class notes together. I quietly wave as I raid the pantry, hoping to find the cakey goodness in there. After finding what I was looking for, I sat on the kitchen counter, munching my way through the chocolate.
The front door creaked open and Adam strode in with his backpack slung over his shoulder and a stupid grin on his face. He greeted us brightly like presenters do on those kid’s programs.
‘You’re in a good mood.’ Jackson pointed out. Matty has barely taken his eyes off his laptop to notice.
‘Yeah,’ Adam replied wistfully, throwing his bag over the countertop. I’ve never seen him so happy. Maybe that chick from back home has finally decided to take him back.
‘Hanging out with Reign again?’ Matty surmised, still focused on the screen in front of him. My jaw ticks as I continue to slowly chew the Ding Dong in my mouth, worried that if I chew too loudly, I won’t hear his answer.
Instead of responding, he just does some weird ‘mhmm’ noise. Like that’s supposed to be enough of an explanation. So, he’s been hanging out with Reign while she ignores me. Maybe he’s the reason.
Jackson stood up and walked over to the fridge, pulling out a Diet Coke on the way. ‘You’ve been spending a lot of time with her recently.’ He said and even though it sounded like a statement, I’m eager to hear Adam’s response.
‘Yeah,’ There it is again. That stupid wistful tone and response. What is Adam? A fifteen-year-old girl? He looks like that damn heart-eyed emoji right now as he leaned his elbow on the kitchen counter, blowing out a breath and looking between Jackson and I.
‘What’s happening between you and Reign?’ I asked with a cocked brow, hoping none of them could hear the eagerness in my voice.
‘Nothing really.’ My clenched hands unfurled. I didn’t even know they were clenched. ‘We just hang out a lot now. She’s a cool girl.’ He’s trying to act cool, but I can see in his face just how much he likes her. It makes me want to smack that pretty face of his. A feeling I’ve never had about my best friend. Nice to know that while I was dealing with my sister, he was busy with Reign.
‘You okay Dev?’ Jackson asked as he slapped my shoulder, forcing me to balk forward.
‘Yeah,’ Adam pointed directly at me. ‘How are things going with that girl from the app?’ He asked as a wolfish grin covered his face. ‘Aiden mentioned that you had her over the other night?’
I sighed, I really wished Aiden hadn’t heard that. I mumbled out a non-committal response and told them I was going back upstairs to work just so I could avoid any more questions about Reign and our relationship. Or lack thereof.
As I opened the door, my heart beat faster because for the first time in a week, her curtains were opened, and she was in the room. Her hand was threaded through her hair as she sat at her desk, typing on her computer. Looking at her made me feel like my insides were burning. That’s surely a sign she wants to talk to me. Screw it. I’m tired of not talking to her. I need to figure out if she was drunk babbling or she wanted more with me before this thing with her and Adam goes too far.
Striding over to the window, I opened mine quietly and then gently knocked on hers. Her shoulders visibly tensed, and her eyes dragged over to me, taking their time. She gave me a weak smile as she walked over. When she unlocked her window, the smell of her fruity shampoo escaped, reminding me of the time I was lucky enough to see her after her shower.
She’s in a tight black tank and track pants, no makeup and she still looks as beautiful as the first time I saw her. She leaned against the railing making it impossible for me to jump over even if I wanted to. Which I did. Badly.
‘How you doing, darlin” I asked, drawing it out, hoping that my accent would make her melt like it did the first time.
She stared down at her hands, refusing to show me those beautiful chocolatey pools of hers. ‘I’m okay, how about you?’ Her body moved as though she was shuffling her feet, like she’s nervous to talk to me. As though we haven’t seen each other buck naked before.
I ran my hands through my hair, trying to dispel all of the nervous energy coursing through my veins. ‘I’m good.’ I sighed. ‘It’s been a long week.’ There’s a beat of silence between us, as though every second that we don’t talk, another brick is added to a wall that’s building between us. I don’t like it. It makes me edgy. ‘Do you have another episode of the Bachelor?‘ I asked. ‘I’m dying to know who Shawn ends up with.’ I joked, hoping it would lighten the mood.
Her head finally lifted to look at me. ‘I’ve watched this week’s episode already.’ She said, biting her perfect bottom lip. She glanced over to her desk and then back. ‘I’m actually kind of busy with work right now. I should probably get back to it.’ She points her thumb back to the desk and I inadvertently nod.
Just as she was about to turn away, I reached over and clutched her arm, ignoring the hair on my arms rising. ‘Reign,’ I said, my voice sounded strained and desperate but at this point, I didn’t care. ‘I think we should talk about what happened between us last week.’ I came out and said it.
Her eyes widened and she choked out a laugh, waving me off. ‘What’s there to talk about? I was just drunk, that’s all.’ She said, but something about her answer didn’t feel genuine. Maybe it was the way her cheeks flared at the memory of that night.
‘Are you sure? Because I thought you wanted to talk about you and me.’ I pushed.
Her body stiffened and she snaked her arm out of my grasp. ‘There is no you and me.’ She quipped. ‘We were just fuck buddies.’ I winced at her cursing. It’s not something I’m used to hearing from her. ‘It’s not like I actually thought there was anything going on between us.’ She huffed out, her lips straight. ‘You can keep getting with girls and I can get with guys too.’
I back away from the railing, surprised and confused. She’s talking as though I’ve been seeing other people. Like I’ve had the time to think about anyone else but her. Or I’ve wanted to. I want to tell her just that but she shuts the window and the curtain before I can get another word out. I stand there for a few minutes, hoping she’ll realize her mistake and come back to the window but she doesn’t. Spinning on my heel, I fall down onto my bed trying to figure out what on earth Reign was talking about.
