Hope’s door, I raise my hand to knock and then chicken out. After doing this a few more times, the old lady who’s sitting on the porch next door chuckles.
‘For God’s sakes boy, just knock on the damn door,’ she says shaking her head.
I have no idea who she is, but at this point she gives me the confidence I need to finally knock.
When Hope opens the door, the sight of her stops me in my tracks. Her beautiful auburn hair that she normally has curled into waves and falling over her shoulders is pulled up and into a messy bun. While her beautiful golden brown eyes that usually shine with life when they look at me, are dull, red, and puffy. There’s absolutely no sparkle there.
She’s in her pajamas and from the looks of things, I doubt she’s left her house in the last few days. But there are fresh tracks in the driveway, so she’s had visitors.
It’s obvious that she’s been crying, and I know without a shadow of a doubt, that it’s my fault. If she’ll let me, I’m here and hopeful that I can make things better. It’s been a week since she left my house after we argued and every day away from her has been complete torture. Though I knew when I came back to her, I had to do it right because I realized how badly I screwed up.
‘What do you want, Cash?’ She asks, sounding sad and irritated at the same time.
‘You were right,’ I choke out. If I say the wrong thing, I’m worried that she’ll just slam the door in my face.
She stands there staring at me before looking over to the neighbor’s house and seeing the little old lady on the porch. It’s then she steps back for me to enter the house. Hesitantly, I walk into a mess. It’s not normally how she keeps house. There are food containers on the coffee table, soda bottles on the floor, and she has to move some clothes off the corner of the couch before we can sit down. When we sit, she moves to the opposite end of the couch, and I don’t blame her for putting space between us. Though I hate every inch she is from me, and that she feels like she needs the space.
When I reach for her hand just for a little contact, she pulls away. Now she’s putting space between us in a whole different way. Am I too late? Have I lost her no matter what I do? I don’t know unless I try, so I take a deep breath and start talking.
‘After you left, I did some digging around online looking at numbers and fees. While I don’t know much about all of this, you were right, it seemed off. Even though I wanted to call you and talk it out right then, I knew it wasn’t the right time. I knew I messed up and would have to prove to you how sorry I am and that I should have trusted you. Instead, I got angry and lashed out. But I want you to know I should have trusted you. And I’m so very, very sorry for how I treated you.’
While she still doesn’t say anything, her eyes are on me, so I know she’s at least listening.
‘When I went to the guy’s office, he didn’t want to give me my books. Then he kept going on and on about how my brother trusted him, so I needed to trust him. The reason that it took me so long to come to you is because I had to get my attorney involved and take legal action to be able to get my books.’
With that piece of information, her eyes go wide and she opens her mouth as if she’s going to say something.
But before she can speak, I shake my head, worried that I’ll lose my resolve.
‘After I got my books back, I took them to two other people to look at and they both came back, saying essentially what you did. Then I sat down with the one I felt more comfortable with and hired him on a trial basis. Once he dug into the books, he found out the guy my brother hired has siphoned over a million dollars from the account this year alone.’
‘Oh Cash,’ she reaches for my hand, and I hold on to it like it’s my lifeline. Holding it like I won’t ever get this chance again because as of right now, who knows, maybe I won’t.
‘I like the accountant I’m working with. We will have monthly meetings to go over everything and he’s great at explaining what I don’t know. Even though he tells me why we should do this or that but, in the end, lets me choose. I also went to the cops, and they arrested the other guy. The cop working the case told me that he used Harvey’s paranoia to manipulate him so he could line his pockets. All in all, it looks like he’s taken around a million dollars a year for the last several years.’
‘Will you get any of that money back?’ she asks.
‘I doubt it. If he hasn’t spent it, then I’m sure he’s hid it well. Any that comes back can go to charity. I haven’t missed it.’
She nods and looks down at our entwined hands. When I give her hand a light squeeze, she looks up at me.
Continuing, I say, ‘What I have missed is you. More than I had thought I ever could miss someone. I am so sorry about what I said, and that I didn’t listen to you.’
‘Why did you react that way you did? How did I trigger that reaction?’ she asks, her voice gentle.
‘It wasn’t anything you did. It’s something I have to work on and I’m really hoping that you want to work on it with me.’
This time, when she looks at me, she smiles. Sitting closer to me, she says, ‘Of course I want to work on it with you.’ But then the smile drops.
‘What is it?’
‘The next time I try to make a suggestion or give my opinion on something, I just can’t have you blowing up at me like that again.’
‘I know and I agree. Though I can’t swear I won’t get upset or like what I hear, but I promise to be better with my reactions.’
She sits there for a moment like she’s thinking before she nods. ‘Well, I guess that’s the best I can hope for.’
When she moves closer to me, I wrap my hands around her waist and pull her into me. It’s been an entire week of nothing but distance between us. A week of not being able to touch her, hug her or kiss her. A week of not being able to have her in my arms and I don’t think I could go another second without it.
Pulling her into my lap, I simply hold her tightly. She snuggles into me and rests her head on my shoulder. Everything feels right again, and I don’t want to lose this. But I also want to make up for lost time, if she’ll let me.
‘Why don’t you pack a bag and come stay at the cabin for a few days? Bring your computer and get some work done, but take some time to relax with me. I’ve missed you so damn much that I don’t want to be away from you right now.’
When she doesn’t move or lift her head off my shoulder, and I start to wonder if she even heard me.
Maybe she fell asleep, as she hasn’t really moved much at all. But before I can say much more, she sits up and looks over at me.
‘I didn’t like being away from you either, but before I agree to go up the mountains there’s something I need to tell you.’
My heart sinks and my mind races. Maybe she doesn’t want a relationship anymore, or maybe she just wants to be friends. Could she have met someone else?
‘After leaving the cabin, I took Jana her car back. I thought we could have some girl time and could cry on her shoulder. When I told her what happened, she said Alex had told her that you were very rude at the party and left early. Basically, he made you out to be this rude, uncivilized person. Of course, I defended you and told Jana the truth about what Alex said. Then she got mad and told me to leave. So I came home alone and even sadder. Later, Jana apologized and broke up with Alex after finding out you spoke the truth.’
While I know I should be feeling for her friend and the breakup, yet all I can think about is how even though she had every right to be mad at me for the way she was treated, my first reaction was still to defend me. Not once did she doubt what I had said.
‘I’m sorry that they broke up, but personally I think Jana is going to find someone better,’ I tell her honestly.
‘Honestly, I agree, but she’s so little down. If I go with you and she needs me, you’ll have to bring me back here. If I don’t hear from her, I’ll want to come and check on her in a few days.’
‘Of course, anything you want. Tell me and I’m happy to take you anywhere you want to go.’
When she places a soft kiss on my lips and tries to stand, I’m just not able to let her go.
‘I need to pack a bag if I’m going to go anywhere,’ she giggles. Loving that sound as much as I do, I don’t want to let her go. But I want her in my cabin in my bed even more, so I release her.
