night, we finally stumbled into the bedroom. Now waking up to find Hope sleeping next to me, it just feels right. I want her here. I want a thousand more days like this.
Placing a kiss on her temple, I slide out of bed. I don’t normally sleep in, and I am usually up with the sun. But today, with her beside me, I didn’t want to get out of bed.
Finally, I head out to get some fresh air and tend to the animals in the barn. The whole time I think about how I meant it when I said I love you yesterday. Even though I know what she’s dealt with concerning her mom, I understand her hesitancy to say it. She can take as long as she needs because whether she realizes or not, she shows me how she feels.
After finishing in the barn, I walk the tree line back to the house. Normally it’s not something I do, so I’m not sure why I’m doing it. Yet my gut is saying something in the tree line is off, but I can’t place my finger on it. So I’m walking and paying attention. Maybe there’s an animal out there that I missed or something along those lines.
Instead, what I find are footprints. Where they were standing, they could easily watch the house. These footprints are fresh and whoever they belonged to was probably there when I came out of the house earlier. They don’t go up to the house and they end of the tree line. Needing to know as much as possible, I followed the footprints back down the mountain careful not to disturb them.
They go down the mountain far enough away from my driveway that they wouldn’t be seen by anyone at my cabin. They end down by the road where it looks like they got into a car and drove back down the mountain.
This part of the road by my driveway is dirt, so it’s easy to see the direction of the car which is going down the mountain towards town.
As I head back to the house, I wonder who the heck it could be and for a brief second my brother’s voice breaks through.
‘Always be careful Cash. The government has people watching us.’
Shaking my head, I will not think like that. His paranoia won’t get to me. There’s a simple explanation for this. There has to be.
As I break the tree line, I find Hope standing on the front porch. She’s got a blanket thrown over her shoulders.
‘What’s wrong?’ she asks as soon as she sees me.
“Step up onto the porch and face the tree line. Can you see where the tracks are? Someone’s been here.’
‘What? Like a hiker?’ she asks, reaching out to take my hand.
‘No, whoever it was stopped just inside the tree line. They were watching the house.’
‘One of your friends, maybe?’
Her voice is so hopeful, wanting a reasonable explanation. I wish I could give her one.
‘No, my friends would have come up to the porch and waited or even left a note on the door. Not lurked in the tree line.’
We stare at the trees a bit harder, thinking our bedroom window is at the back of the house. So they won’t have seen us this morning unless they saw me coming out the door from here. What they’d be able to see is the living room, the kitchen and my brother’s bedroom, but that room has been empty since he died.
‘I’m going to set up some hunting cameras. If they decide to come back, it will catch them.’
I place my hand on her lower back and guide her inside. When the door closes, she turns and holds up a piece of paper.
‘I was half asleep when I got up and was looking for you. I accidentally knocked some papers off the end table, and this caught my eye.’
Looking at the paper, I instantly recognize that it’s one of the statements from my financial advisor. He’s the one my brother set up for his stuff and I’ve continued to use.
‘Listen, I know it’s none of my business, but I have to do my business taxes, and I’ve learned quite a bit. You’re paying him way too high of a fee and he has you in the completely wrong tax bracket. If that’s where he truly has you, he might be using it to skim money.’
‘You’re right, it was none of your business. This is one of the people that my brother trusted and he set this up before he died. I’ve continued to use him. If this guy was good enough for my brother to trust, what makes you think I shouldn’t trust him?’ By the time I finish, I realize I’ve raised my voice in anger. She just stands there looking like I’ve slapped her.
After a moment she nods, turns and heads into my bedroom without saying a word. Before I even have a chance to sort out my thoughts, she’s back, dressed and has her overnight bag. Then she grabs her purse and keys.
‘You can be mad at me all you want, but you should take these books to someone else and get a second opinion.’ Then she leaves without another word. I listen to her car start and head down the driveway. I don’t move until I can no longer hear her car.
Then I pick up the piece of paper that she had found, and take a look at it. I never paid too much attention to this kind of stuff. My brother was the money guy and I know that he left me with more money than I’ll ever know what to do with in my lifetime. Finally, I toss the paper and flop down on the couch.
There’s a lot to take in right now, and I don’t like fighting with Hope. So, I get back up and go into my brother’s room and check his closet. He was big on monitoring the property, so he always kept a stock of hunting cameras on hand. Quickly, I find what I’m looking for.
Taking the box, I walk out into the woods. I’m assuming whoever comes back is going to take the same path back up because it’s what they know to do. Then I set up the camera as far enough off the path so they won’t see them. But also if they deviate from the path, I will still catch them. Before I’m done, I’ve set a few up closer to the road and others on both sides of the path. Finally, I place one on my front porch, facing the area that the person was in. Hopefully, maybe I’ll catch a straight head on face photo.
Once that’s done, I go back inside and pick up the paper that Hope had earlier and look it over yet again. While I know my brother trusted this guy, I trust Hope, and it has to mean something. Then I take a shower and get ready to go into town.
Hope
‘You can be mad at me all you want, but you should take these books to someone else and get a second opinion,’ I tell Cash as I turn around and go out the door, I don’t want him to see the tears that are threatening to fall.
Then I get into Jana’s car and drive towards town. Though I was going to go straight home, but really at the very least I need to return the car to Jana. I figure maybe we can have some girl time and talk just the two of us.
On the way down the mountain, I have to stop twice because my vision blurs from all the tears. But by the time I get into town, I feel much more in control of my emotions.
Parking the car behind the café, I go up the stairs and knock on the door. Jana is still in her pajamas which tells me she’s slept in today, but she takes one look at me, opens the door and pulls me in for a hug.
‘Wine or chocolate?’ she asks, and I actually giggle.
‘It’s not even noon yet,’ I say, setting my stuff down. She just shrugs, grabs two wine glasses, chocolates and sits down on the couch with me.
Deciding to leave out the part of what he said about her boyfriend, I tell her about the argument this morning. I also don’t tell her that he told me he loves me, which seems like something to celebrate and that’s the last thing I feel like doing right now.
She listens as I tell her about waking up and finding the paper and now it’s confirmed that he was left all that money from his brother. Then I go on to tell her how all the fees he was being charged didn’t quite add up, in addition to everything else that didn’t seems quite right.
Finally, I relate what he said and how he reacted. When I’m done, I can tell by the look on her face that she has something to say.
‘Oh Lord, Jana, just say what is on your mind,’ I say, taking a sip of my glass of wine.
“Well, I don’t know him very well and only spent a little time with him at the festival. Probably that was the most time I have spent with him. Though I’ve only talked to him a few handfuls of times, he’s showing a pattern of behavior.’
Pattern of behavior? What the hell is she talking about? She must read the question all over my face because I don’t get a chance to ask it.
‘Look, he blew up at you when you were just trying to help him. Alex says he was extremely rude to everyone at the game day and left before the game was even over. Maybe this is just his true personality that’s starting to slip out and you’re not wanting to acknowledge it.’
My jaw literally drops. I don’t even know what to say. But the only thing that I can think of is that I need to defend him because I know that’s not him. Even though I hadn’t planned on bringing up all the issues with her boyfriend, it looks like he beat me to the punch.
‘Well, I wasn’t going to say anything about that because I didn’t want to have this argument. But yesterday, Cash told me about your boyfriend and the party. The reason he got up and left was because all the guys were doing was complaining and bitching and moaning about you girls. He said that Alex specifically didn’t want to spend time with your family and that he was upset that he spent so much time and you didn’t even give him road head on the way there. That’s not like Cash, so he got up and left. Actually, we got into a bit of an argument because he thought that’s the type of person I wanted him to be and I was trying to change him. That’s why he didn’t show up yesterday.’
‘Obviously, he’s lying to you to cover his ass. Whether you want to see them or not, his true colors are shining through. Remember that I told you so when it all comes crashing down on you.’ She’s almost yelling at me as she stands, walks to the door and opens it.
It’s clear to me that our meeting is over and it’s time for me to leave. Gathering my stuff, I walk back to my cabin.
Once I’m in the door, I drop my stuff on the floor, go straight to my bed and start crying. Today I seem to just be pissing everybody off, and maybe it’s me and I’m the problem.
It’s only been a few hours since I left Cash’s place and I miss him like crazy. I don’t want anything more than to reach out and talk to him and apologize, but I’m nervous as he was so angry at me.
Finally, I turn the TV on to the home decor channel for some background noise. Though I don’t even know what I’m watching. The TV is only on because it makes me feel a little less alone.
At some point, I must have cried myself to sleep because I’m awakened by pounding on my door. When I stumble to the front door and open it, Jana’s standing there and she looks like she’s been crying as well.
Despite our earlier conversation, the last thing I want is to be is alone even if it’s with someone who might be mad at me. So I open the door and let her in.
Not bothering to say anything, I go straight back to my bedroom and get into bed. She follows, gets in bed with me and cries for a few minutes before turning over to face me.
‘I went over to see Alex, and I asked him if he actually said those things. He admitted to saying that to Cash and the guys. Then he told me it’s how he felt and he was not going to apologize for it. We got into a huge fight, and we broke up.’
Then she starts crying again. Scooting over, I pull her into a hug and she holds on tightly to me.
‘I’m so sorry about what I said about Cash. I was wrong, and I hope you two work it out.’
I just rub her back and eventually we fall asleep again.
This time when I wake up, it’s to the smell of food. When I enter the kitchen, I find Jana cooking. Her eyes are puffy, but she offers me a small smile.
‘Peace offering?’ she says shyly.
‘You don’t need one, but I won’t turn down food.’
Grabbing some plates, I set the table as she finishes up.
Once we’re finished eating, neither of us is sure what to say. But she breaks the silence first.
‘You know the worst part? I wasn’t even upset about the relationship ending. For a long time I knew the feelings just weren’t there but didn’t want to face it. What really got me upset was that I didn’t see his true colors and that I believed that he actually cared about me. Not to mention how disturbed I am at myself for falling for his lies and not catching on sooner. But when I woke up, I felt relieved for everything to be over with him and that’s how I know this is for the best.’
‘I’m glad you feel better,’ I say. But I’m trying to force a smile because I really am happy for her. She never did seem fully happy with Alex, but that was her decision to make.
‘Listen, I made my judgments on Cash because I thought that he was showing a pattern of behavior, but I was wrong. You know him best and need to trust your gut when it comes to him,’ she says.
But now I don’t know if I trust my gut either.
What I know deep down is Cash is a good person. But do I want to be with someone who’s going to not listen to what I have to say and argue? To take a dead person’s advice over mine?
I miss him like crazy, but with my best friend back in the picture I need to take it slow. Decide what I really want, so I don’t fall for guys like my mom did. Also, I don’t want to ignore the signs like she always did and brush him away because of this or that. What I’m going to do is take some time and distance to see which path that I follow and where it leads me.
