When the sun came up on Tuesday morning, Claire was still in my bed. With her wild curls strewn over my pillow, her adorable kitten-like snoring filled the silence.
Body rigid, I kept a firm arm wrapped around her waist, too afraid to move an inch. The memory of last night’s antics had tormented me to the point where I hadn’t closed an eye all night. I supposed the plus side of not sleeping meant that I hadn’t wandered off on any late-night adventures, but it didn’t give me much comfort.
Because I fucked up. Because I tainted her. This beautiful, willful, loyal and innocent girl. I’d put my hands on her when I had no right to and had crossed the point of no return. Still, as guilt-ridden as I felt, there was no denying that her presence was stabilizing me in a way I’d never felt in this house. Not since my dad moved out, at least.
The sound of my phone vibrating on my nightstand had my heart leaping in my chest, and I quickly reached over to snatch it up.
“Cap,” I whispered when I answered the call, feeling a huge sense of relief come over me. “What’s up?”
“I have to say, lad,” Johnny mused forty minutes later, “I’ve never seen you get ready so fast for the gym.” Standing above where I was perched on the weight bench, he continued to spot me. “Usually, I have to drag you from the bed kicking and screaming.”
“Hm,” I replied, unable to find it in me to toss a lighthearted comment out. Nothing about me felt light this morning. Especially when my conscience was weighing me down so heavily. Ignoring the bead of sweat that was trickling down my neck, I focused my attention on bench-pressing the 120kg barbell upwards.
“Christ, Gibs, did you wake up in beast mode?” With his brows raised, my best friend continued to spot me. “You’ve gone up an entire weight bracket overnight.”
Because I’m mad, Johnny. Because I’m fucking furious with myself and if I don’t burn some of this tension out of my body, I’m going to scream.
“You okay, Gibs?”
“I’m always okay, Cap.”
“You sure?”
“Yep.”
“You’re awfully quiet.”
“It’s all good,” I forced myself to say. “Just full of beans this morning.”
“Well, save some of those beans for St. Andrews tomorrow,” he chuckled, catching ahold of the barbell and setting it into place. “Because they have a serious forward pack, and I heard their number thirteen is talking shite about how he’s going to end my career before it starts.”
“Not on my watch,” I bit out, standing up for him to take my place on the bench. Moving into position to spot him, I added, “I’ll take the head clean off the bastard if he even looks at you sideways.”
Johnny chuckled and reached for the bar. “Never doubted you for a minute, buddy.”
