I rock Jeremy in his crib, smiling at his sleeping form. His tiny fist is curled around my index finger and the other is resting near his neck.
He’s so small and soft and the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. He smells of baby and summer and happy memories.
It’s been five weeks since he came into this world, and sometimes, I still can’t believe that I gave birth to this little human who looks like the purest of angels.
The events surrounding his birth are the subject of my nightmares, though. Every day, I wake up in a cold sweat, imagining Jeremy drowning in a pool of blood.
The recurring nightmare is similar to the one I used to have about breaking my leg before it happened. My subconscious is telling me something, and I’ll be damned if I don’t prevent it this time.
Although I had a strong connection to Jeremy when I was pregnant, the moment I held him in my arms for the first time, something inside me shifted. I’m ready to slaughter the world and everyone in it to keep him safe.
This is different from how I felt about ballet. While that was my dream, Jeremy is my flesh and blood. My connection to him is more visceral, and I’d sacrifice myself in a heartbeat to protect his tiny body.
Yan said that the attackers are paying for what they did. I didn’t have to ask him how. I saw Adrian kill someone and he wouldn’t hesitate to finish off others.
According to Yan, who was obviously trying to placate me, the attack was normal. Adrian is threatened by assassins often, but they never win.
Normal.
None of this is fucking normal. Adrian might consider being hunted down to be killed normal, but it’s different for me and Jeremy. We didn’t sign up for this life.
Besides, Adrian can only escape death for so long before it catches up to him.
Jeremy’s face contorts as if he’s hearing the ominous thought I’m having about his father and I coo him back to sleep, my own chest constricting at the idea of Adrian dying.
But isn’t that expected with his lifestyle?
Yet, sometimes, I find myself holding on to the hope that he’ll somehow defy the rules of nature and remain alive. That, as he promised, he’ll protect us.
But the fact remains, there’s nothing that will protect us from him. Adrian will always be Adrian, making enemies and forming vendettas. Maybe one day, I’ll wake up and find an army of assassins in the front garden.
Jeremy and I will only be collateral damage of one of his assassination attempts.
The door opens softly in sync with my thoughts. I don’t have to turn around to know who it is. The loosening of my muscles and the scent of leather is enough to give him away.
It’s become so hard to stiffen around him, to pretend that I’m bothered by his touch when, in fact, his presence awakens a dark, carnal desire inside me.
It doesn’t help that he hasn’t fucked me since a few weeks prior to Jeremy’s birth. He went down on me before the birth and finger-fucked me, but he hasn’t touched me since.
At least not sexually. Not even when the OB-GYN told us a few days ago that I’m good to have sex.
I guess he’s still mad about how I requested that he let me and Jeremy live separately. But even in his anger, he still spoons me from behind every night. He tells me to get back to sleep when Jeremy wakes up in the middle of the night. He even says I should pump some of my breast milk so I don’t have to get up when Jeremy is hungry.
I never expected to see that side of Adrian—being a father. But Jeremy is the reason he married me in the first place. My little angel is the one line that connects us.
But not for long.
My husband wraps his arms around me, his hands flattening on my stomach as he rests his chin on my shoulder. I hold my breath, but the need for air forces me to inhale his masculine scent and welcome his body heat.
“Asleep already?” The rumble of his tired voice shoots straight through my chest and another starved part of me.
Adrian has been working non-stop lately, and he’s even been changing the house’s security system over the last couple of days.
“He just fell asleep,” I murmur, half to not wake Jeremy and half because Adrian’s closeness is messing with me far more than I’d like to admit.
“He’s only storing his energy to wake up like a wrecking ball later. He takes after you.”
I tilt my head to meet his gaze. He looks so rugged and handsome, but the devil is always beautiful, isn’t he? “Me?”
“You do that sometimes, stay silent until you explode.”
“That’s not true. Maybe he takes after you.”
“I’ll have you know that I was a very obedient child, Mrs. Volkov.”
I swallow. Even though we’ve been married for almost a year, the sound of my married name still gives me a strange sensation I can’t pinpoint.
It takes everything in me to rip my gaze from him and release myself from his hypnotic hold. “How come I don’t believe that?”
“You can ask Kolya. I was a good boy.”
I scoff.
“What?” He sounds almost offended.
“I just find it hard to think of you as a good boy.”
“Mmmm. How about you?”
“What about me?”
“Were you a good girl, Lenochka?” The sudden drop in his voice causes my insides to quiver and my limbs to tremble. There will probably never be a day where I will stop responding to him in this carnal way.
“I was wild.”
“Wild,” he muses. “I like that.”
“My mom wouldn’t agree with you. She had to chase me all over the property to finally catch me.”
“So you were naughty?”
“I guess.”
“Are you still naughty?”
“Sometimes.” My voice is too sultry, too breathy.
“Mmmm. Maybe I should see for myself.” His fingers wrap around my jaw and angle it up. His hot lips drop to my neck, and I shiver as he peppers kisses on the sensitive skin before biting it into his mouth and sucking on it.
I instinctively tilt my head to the side, giving him access.
He nibbles down on my pulse point and I gasp.
Holy shit.
I forgot how much of a turn-on it is when he worships my neck that way, feasting on my life essence as if needing to feel it throb beneath his teeth.
His other hand lifts my skirt and I release a shattered breath when his fingers cup me through my wet panties.
“I see you are naughty, wife.”
I hold on to the wrist of his hand that’s wandering beneath my skirt, but it’s not to stop him as much as it’s to control my reaction to him.
He’s merely cupping me and I feel like I will explode. Have I been that wanton for him all this time?
“Adrian…” I breathe out.
“Don’t even think about rejecting me tonight, Lia.”
“It’s not that…”
“Good. Because I’ve waited so long to fuck your cunt and fill it with my cum.”
His words send me into a frenzy, both because of the urgency in them and his dirty talk that always twists me in knots.
Adrian bunches my underwear in a fist and I shake my head.
“Adrian…don’t rip it…”
“But you like it when I rip them.” And with that, he tugs on the cotton material, sending it to shreds.
He’s right. I like it, and the small burst of stimulation it creates in my core. He teases my clit, and I don’t last two seconds.
I let my head roll back against his shoulder as the sudden but brief wave engulfs me and takes me under.
“There. Good girl.”
“It’s the hormones,” I pant.
A gleam shines in his eyes. “Sure.”
“It’s true.”
“Did I say anything?”
“You don’t have to. It’s written all over your face that you don’t believe me.”
“What else is written on my face, Lenochka?”
“I…don’t know.”
“It must be written all over my face that I’m going to fuck you until you scream my name. Then do it over and over again to get my fill of you. Only…” he murmurs. “I probably won’t.”
A shiver shakes me to my bones, and my breathing increases until it’s chopped off and ragged.
“I’m going to fuck you senseless until the morning. Or more accurately…” he motions at Jeremy’s crib. “Until Malysh wakes up.”
I yelp when he carries me in his arms and strides through the door leading to our bedroom, kicking it shut behind him. He throws me on the bed and follows soon after like a beast on a mission to conquer his bride.
He doesn’t even bother to remove his clothes, only tugging his pants to free his hard cock. It doesn’t matter how many times I see it, his dick always spurs a moment of apprehension.
When he parts my legs, my chest heaves so hard, I don’t think I’ve ever felt this way before. Adrian pulls the skirt away so that I’m naked from the waist down, and only a flimsy button-up shirt covers my aching, naked breasts.
He kneels between my legs, grabs both of my ankles, and places my feet on his broad shoulders. “Keep them there.”
The stormy gray of his eyes sparks with hunger as he slowly enters me. The change in pattern from his usually rough, unapologetic one causes my back to arch off the bed.
“Fuck.” He strains. “You’re tighter, Lenochka.”
I want to ask if that’s a good or a bad thing, but he doesn’t give me the chance to speak as his cock sinks inside me with unhurried depth, filling me whole.
Like earlier, the mere penetration is almost enough to send me over the edge. Adrian pushes inside me at a moderate pace, the position giving him a rare depth.
But soon after, his nature takes charge and his thrusts become harder, rougher, and with a delicious edge. “Fuck, I’ve missed this. I’ve missed you, Lia.”
His words, coupled with his touch, turn me boneless. My pussy clenches around him and every bundle of nerves is attuned to him.
Adrian releases one of my thighs and holds my legs together with one hand, driving in even deeper. His free hand reaches between us and my eyes widen when he presses his thumb against my back entrance.
He glides it inside and the resistance is real, but so is the exploding of pleasure pooling in my core. The more he pushes in, the tighter I clench around him.
“Adrian…” I moan.
“Say it again.”
“Adrian.”
“Yes.” His eyes are a hot fire as his pace increases in both depth and rhythm.
I guess it shouldn’t hurt to let him hear my voice for one final time.
“Adrian…” I moan. “Ahh…Adrian…” Tears pool in my eyes, and I don’t know if it’s the hormones or the fact that I’ve also missed him or the knowledge that I won’t have this anymore.
I won’t have anyone who understands my carnal needs even better than I ever would and makes them all come true.
A low, husky groan rips from his lips as he speaks sharp, short words in Russian, probably cursing.
“Do you have any idea how much I’ve missed your throaty little moans?” he rasps, his accent thicker than usual, as he pushes his thumb in my tight hole. “You’ll scream for me when I claim this ass, won’t you, Lenochka?”
My breathing is chopped off by the relentless, delicious way he’s fucking me and the intrusion of his finger. My nipples ache so much that two wet spots form on the shirt. I cover them up with a hand, but Adrian has already noticed.
A grunt spills from his lips, sounding almost animalistic in his lust. “Let go.”
I slowly do, and his fiery eyes take in the soaked cloth and my protruding nipples through the shirt.
“Fuck,” Adrian breathes out, slowing down to watch the evidence of my lactation.
“It’s the hormones,” I murmur, shame burning my ears.
“I fucking love the hormones.”
“Adrian…” I move my hips against him.
“What?”
“Don’t…stop…”
A sheen of wild hunger and something else covers his features as he picks up his pace again. I don’t know if it’s because of that or his finger at my back entrance or his eyes on my breasts, but I come the hardest I have since I can remember.
This orgasm is stronger and longer than earlier and I roll my hips to ride it out. I don’t mute my moans either, because selfishly, this is the memory I want to leave him with.
This moment right here—of me moaning his name. I don’t want him to ever forget this or me.
Adrian curses in Russian as he empties himself inside me, then falls beside me. We remain there, panting for a moment. Me on my back and Adrian on his side.
He props himself up on his elbow, his hooded eyes zeroing in on my shirt that’s soaked with lactation from the orgasm.
Adrian undoes the buttons, and my face heats when he uncovers my nipples, which are still hard, with beads of transparent liquid leaking from them.
“So messy,” he teases.
“It’s the hormones,” I murmur.
“I should take care of the hormones, then.”
“W-what?”
“They look painful. Are they?”
“A little.”
“Do you want me to relieve that ache, Lia? Want me to rid you of the excess milk?”
His words are a straight zap to my pussy and I clench my thighs as the sole word rips from my lips. “Yes…”
His mouth latches onto a nipple, and I gasp as his teeth nibble on the tip before sucking. Hard.
Holy hell.
I can feel the pulse between my legs. It’s so perverse, but I’m strangely turned on by it.
The more he bites, the higher I arch my back. The harder he sucks, the more arousal coats my thighs. Adrian’s tongue laps on my areola before he takes my engorged nipple in his hot mouth again and pulls at it with his teeth. His fingers squeeze my other nipple, twisting and pinching until my chest and belly are messy with the evidence of my lactation.
A vibrating sound startles me and I flinch. Adrian groans as he releases my nipple with a pop. My mouth parts and my thighs pulsate with need as I watch his moist lips.
Shit. Why am I so aroused by his perversion?
He retrieves his phone and answers with a grunting, “Volkov. This better be good.”
His annoyed expression disappears, replaced by one of pure contemplation as he steps from the bed and tucks himself in. “I’ll be there in fifteen.”
“Is something wrong?” I ask, sitting up and hoping to hell he doesn’t detect the hope in my tone.
“I have an urgent meeting.” He kisses my forehead. “I’ll be away for a few hours, possibly until the morning. Call me if you need anything.”
“Okay…I mean, I will.”
He shakes his head but doesn’t comment on my use of the word he hates so much.
“Sleep well, Lenochka.”
I nod.
I think he’s going to leave, but then he lowers his head and captures my lips in a slow kiss. Usually, his kisses are all-consuming, as hard as he fucks and as unforgiving, too, but right now, he’s kissing me with passion that reaches my bones.
Like he cares.
I kiss him back, lost in the moment, because it seems that I care, too. Fuck. I more than care.
He pulls away, a small smile grazing his lips. “I’ve missed you, Lenochka.”
And with that, he turns and leaves. I stare at the door after it clicks shut behind him. My mind is bogged down with the realization I had while he was kissing me just now.
I love him.
I fell in love with the devil despite his monstrous nature.
My legs quiver as I slide them down the bed.
No. I must be mistaking lust for love. I need to save myself and my baby from the danger he is.
Whether it’s love or lust doesn’t matter, because Jeremy and I aren’t safe with him.
It takes everything in me to remove my clothes and put on a pair of jeans, a hoodie, and a coat. I stare out the window as I dress. Kolya, Yan, Boris, and Adrian get in the car before it soon speeds away from the mansion.
He took his best guards with him. Good.
After I make sure they’re gone, I barge through the door separating the bedroom from Jeremy’s nursery and wrap him up in thick clothes and a blanket. I fill my backpack with his necessities and a bottle of my milk that I pumped earlier in preparation for this.
I couldn’t possibly have missed out on the opportunity of escaping while the system is being replaced. Usually, Adrian will have every record of my movements at his disposal, but the system change is my only short window of getting out of here unscathed with Jeremy.
It took me a day to come up with this plan. I’ll leave through the back door, from which I’ve seen Ogla bring in the house’s supplies, and then I can take a plane to another state and stay under the radar to raise Jeremy. Since Adrian takes care of all our expenses and I don’t have a lease to worry about, my small fortune from ballet has remained untouched. I’ll use that to give my son a good life.
It’s not the perfect plan, but it’s better than nothing.
I was supposed to execute my plan in the morning after Adrian leaves, since he barely spends time at home nowadays, but fate is on my side tonight.
After strapping the baby carrier around me, I carefully place Jeremy in it and cover him with the blanket.
I make sure to leave my phone on the nightstand since it’s most likely being tracked, then sneak out of the room.
Usually, I’d be wary of the cameras in the hallways, but due to the system change, they’re not working.
I walk silently to the kitchen, watching my surroundings, heart nearly beating out of my chest.
Footsteps sound from around the corner and I flatten my back against the wall, placing a protective hand around Jeremy and slamming the other against my mouth.
The guards aren’t allowed inside unless Adrian calls them in, so only one other person could be in the kitchen this late.
Sure enough, Ogla’s shadow appears as she pauses in the doorway before she heads down the hall.
I wait for her footsteps to disappear, then I slowly head to the kitchen. Once it’s in view, I dash inside, ignoring the thumping of my heart.
Taking a deep breath, I wrap my hand around the doorknob of the door leading outside and turn. I nearly cry with joy when it opens.
The cold November air slaps me in the face, but I couldn’t have felt any warmer. I tighten the blanket around Jeremy and quicken my steps away from the house.
From the times I’ve spied on this place, I already know I’ll find myself at a special fence that requires a code. I punch in the numbers I’ve seen Ogla put in a thousand times and the gate clicks open.
I dash outside, my shoes slapping against the concrete as I run.
A large gulp of air rushes into my lungs when I inhale.
I did it.
I left.
I’m free.
No one will pose a danger to me or my son.
My heart clenches at the thought of what I’ve left behind, but I ignore that sentiment.
In my adrenaline rush, the run from the back of the house to the road wasn’t even that long.
I’m surprised to see a cab soon after I’m out and wave my hand at it. I have enough cash with me for a ride and a plane ticket. I’ll need to withdraw more from my bank, but thankfully, I can do that in any of their branches. I’ll have to be careful about it, and will probably do it in a different place than where I’m residing so Adrian doesn’t track me down.
The cab breezes past me and I realize it’s occupied. I wave my hand at the next car, hoping it’s a cab, too. The vehicle comes to a halt right in front of me, and my heart nearly comes to a halt along with it when the back door opens and my own devil steps out.
Even in the darkness, I can make out his murderous expression. “Going somewhere, Lia?”
As he advances toward me, I know, I just know that I’ve messed up any chance I had at freedom.
