A week later, Winter is here.
She’s washed up and dyed her hair the same color as mine. She smells of roses, the scent Adrian recognizes me by.
I don’t waste time as I strip from my coat and one of my dresses. I wore two, one on top of the other, so I don’t have to spend long here.
Winter does the same, humming joyfully. I feel sorry for her, for the life I’m thrusting her into, to the point that I thought about backing out of the plan this entire past week.
But Adrian’s cold shoulder kept me going. When Rai and I were shot at during a gathering she planned a few weeks ago, he didn’t show a sliver of concern, as if I didn’t almost die. All he did was bark orders and completely ignore me. If that isn’t a sign that he’ll soon hand me over to my father, who’s possibly worse than him, I don’t know what is.
Besides, Winter said she read the file and doesn’t mind. That file has all of the information about the Bratva monstrosity and should’ve been a serious red flag.
Winter actually seems more ready for this than I am.
“I learned that doc by heart like I never learned anything during school,” she says, getting rid of her pink coat. “I’m so envious that you’re a ballerina.”
“Ex-ballerina.” My throat closes.
“Oh, right. It said you broke your leg. Pity. I always wanted to be a ballerina, you know.”
“Never being one is better than having to give it up.” That pain will never go away, but it’s not worse than learning I’m only a means to an end to Adrian.
It’s not worse than falling for the wrong man and allowing him to suck my soul from my body.
“I guess.”
We change in a haste and then I fix her up and lift her shoulders so that her posture is straight like mine.
“Remember, stay in a daze. They’re used to that from me in the house.”
“Okay.”
“Don’t forget not to say that word in front of Adrian. He hates it.”
“Oh, yeah. I remember reading that.”
“And be careful of Ogla. She knows everything about everything.” And I’m more and more sure that she’s the one who snitched to Adrian about my escape attempt soon after Jeremy’s birth.
“Got it.”
“Next week, bring Jeremy with you and I’ll get someone to help me so I can take him with me. If Adrian says no, tell him you miss being with Jer and want to spend some time with him.”
“Yup.”
It’s going to kill me to live a week without Jeremy, but it’s a small sacrifice to make for escaping this life. One in which my fate is hanging on a word from Adrian.
The moment he decides he hates me more than he wants me, he won’t hesitate to get rid of me.
“If you survive another week after that, I can ask the person helping me to get you out,” I offer.
“Nah, I’m gonna be a boss bitch. Why would I want to leave?”
I grab her shoulders. “Listen to me, Winter, Adrian is dangerous.”
“So you keep telling me. Are you having second thoughts?”
“Of course not.”
She shrugs. “All is cool then.”
“Are you sure?”
“Are you? Because it seems like you’re really having cold feet, girl.”
“I’m not, I’m just warning you.”
“Maybe you just don’t want to give up your man.”
“That’s not true.”
She hums joyfully. “Then is it okay if I fuck him? He looked smoking hot in the pictures.”
Her words stab me in the chest and bile rises in my throat. I want to scream no, that he’s mine and always will be, that no one but me is allowed to touch him, but is that true when I’m escaping him?
“I don’t care what you do after I’m gone,” I mutter.
“Cool. You can’t take it back now.” She gives me a Cheshire cat grin. “No changing your mind either. I mean it.”
I give Winter my bag with all my belongings and tell her to spray my perfume. She does that with glee and waves two fingers at me.
Hiding in the bathroom, I keep the door open the slightest bit to watch her go to Yan and Boris. My heart hammers loudly, expecting them to find out and come in for me, but they just walk in front of her, talking animatedly in Russian.
I release a breath, but the relief is short-lived. How could they not realize it’s not me? I know we look alike, but still. I’m disappointed in Boris and Yan—especially the latter.
Adrian will see her as me, too. He’ll touch her like he touches me, fuck her the way he fucks me.
Nausea assaults me and I want to throw up my guts in the toilet. However, I force myself to straighten and hold my head high.
This is for my survival.
I might love Adrian, but I won’t stick around until he’s bored of me, until he makes me go really crazy.
Now, to the next part of my plan.
Rai said she’d help me, and I believe her because she’s strong enough in the brotherhood to go behind Adrian’s back. Unlike Luca, she wants nothing in return.
I’ll tell her to hide me from Adrian, then help me escape from him once and for all.
