Being someone who trusts his system to the point of blindness, I can tell when something is wrong.
I’ve been racking my brain trying to figure out where everything hit rock bottom. When the fuck did I start to lose the top-notch efficiency my system provided?
One thing’s for certain, Lia has something to do with it. Or, more accurately, my obsession with her does.
At one point, it became carnal and dark. I tried to lighten it at the beginning, to make up for my lack of feelings with my actions, to show her that she’s special to me, even if I’m wired differently and didn’t know how to feel as she secretly wished.
I thought she’d eventually see the effort I was making. It’d take time, but it would happen. Lia would come to me, not work against me. She’d trust me and talk to me.
But she chose another man.
One who has been in hiding since she confessed her adultery, because there’s no way in fuck she would’ve met him since then. I’ve been assigning an army to stay on her case and installing cameras everywhere she goes.
The more I smother her into my closed off system, the closer I am to losing control, because I know, I just know, this is heading for the worst, not the better.
I had a talk with her shrink—or more like threatened her shrink—and she said that her hallucinations are getting worse. She’s escalating from when she started to have this condition as a kid. In the past, antidepressants and sleeping pills managed to gradually rid her of her neurotic episodes, but lately, she’s been talking to Ogla about things that never happened.
She told me that Lia recently crossed paths with Hannah, her previous colleague and the current New York City Ballet’s prima ballerina. However, that never happened.
The psychotherapist is worried because this could be the beginning of a dissociation episode. Her condition has gotten worse since she was shot at during the women’s gathering organized by Rai. She had a PTSD episode and said she saw red eyes coming for her.
When the doctor said that she shouldn’t be put in stressful situations or surrounded by people who make her anxious, I distanced myself further. Even though it kills me to stay away from her, I can at least recognize that I’m the major cause of her depression and anxiety. Even Ogla, whom she didn’t get along with at the beginning, has gotten closer to her.
The only person in this house whom she loses her smile upon seeing is me.
Even my fucking guards get her smiles. But never me.
There’s a permanent frown etched upon her features when she meets my gaze. Her delicate face pulls down with deep, tangible sadness.
Fuck that.
I still believe that I’ll be able to draw out the Lia from the past. The Lia who sat down with me for dinners and talked about everything and nothing, trying every trick under the sun to get me to talk as well.
But first, I need to find the fucker she cheated on me with, figure out his relation to her and Lazlo. Only after I kill him in a slow death will I be able to breathe again.
Maybe it won’t get clean air into my lungs, maybe I’ll never forget what she did, but I’ll never let her leave either.
Tonight, I’m going to talk to her one last time about it. I’m going to ask her and I will listen as Kolya and Yan have been urging me to.
I find her in the kitchen rummaging in the fridge, wearing one of her fluffy nightgowns with a robe that has layers upon layers of faux fur. She wore that once, then threw it in the back of the closet because it was too eccentric for her tastes.
Narrowing my eyes, I watch her movements. They’re too fast, lacking her usual finesse and elegance.
“What are you doing?”
She turns around, yelping, and I’m staring at a replica of my wife. Someone who has the exact same looks and build. Even the eyes are almost identical.
Almost.
Because those eyes? They don’t have the deep sadness in Lia’s. The permanent sheen of gray.
“Who are you?” I ask.
She gulps, the packet of frozen meat dangling from her hand. “W-what do you mean who am I? I’m Lia.”
I reach her in two steps and she runs around the counter. I pull out my gun and point it at her. “You’re not Lia. Who are you?”
She freezes, eyes wide as she puts her hands in the air, letting the frozen meat fall to the floor. “Please don’t shoot! She said nothing about being shot at. I’m so sorry, please, I only want money. I don’t want to die.”
“This is the final time I ask this question. Who the fuck are you?”
“My name is Winter. I met your wife at the shelter, and she asked me to take her place because she wanted to escape or something. I meant no disrespect, I swear.”
Fuck.
I stare at the woman again, hoping I’m wrong, but when I don’t find Lia in there, my chest constricts with something so similar to…fear.
This is not Lia. So, where’s my wife?
“Kolya,” I call.
He comes inside in a second, frowning when he takes in the scene. He probably thinks she’s Lia. This Winter may be able to fool the world, but not me. She doesn’t have the permanently haunted expression Lia has. She might smell like her, but she doesn’t have that natural soft body scent that no one but my Lenochka has.
“Find Lia’s location through her dental tracker and send it to my phone,” I order. “This one is an imposter.”
“What should we do with her?” Kolya narrows his eyes on her and she takes a step back.
“Keep her locked up until I figure out what to do with her.”
“No! I did nothing wrong.” She steps back further and turns to run, but trips over her long robe and shrieks as she falls, her head hitting the counter. Blood splashes on the tile as her body slips down with a thud, her lips open and her eyes blinking slowly.
Kolya reaches for her, but I stop him. “Track Lia. Let Ogla take care of the imposter.”
Then I’m out the door, Kolya following behind me.
The red mist that I only see when Lia is involved covers my vision and all I can think about is that she left.
She fucking ran.
I never thought she’d leave Jeremy behind, but she went ahead and did it. She had enough of pretending and escaped.
Probably to be with her lover.
She not only cheated on me, but she also went to him. They’re probably both laughing at my expense, thinking they’ve gotten away with it.
Fuck that.
If anything, they should both be ready for my wrath. As I promised her, I will kill him in a slow death in front of her eyes and fuck her in his blood.
Then I’m bringing her home.
