I’m half-asleep when I roll out of bed to pee.
I stop mid-pee, stand up, and look into the toilet.
That can’t be right.
I shut the door, lock it, flip on the light, and peer into the bowl. The tampon that has been in all night is pure white.
How could that be?
Now that I think about it, yesterday was way lighter than my normal period.
Weird.
I finish peeing, flush, and go back to bed.
Phillip pulls me into his arms and kisses my neck.
“Morning, Princess. You feeling good enough to go for a jog?”
“It’s so cold. I think we should go back to sleep. Or back to the Caribbean until spring.”
“You know, once I wake up, I can’t go back to sleep. That’s why you always wake up to fresh coffee.”
“Maybe you should jog by a doughnut shop,” I suggest.
He laughs into my neck. “You must be feeling better if you’re hungry.”
“A chocolate-frosted cake doughnut sounds really good. And some hot chocolate. I think I am feeling better.”
“Danny said, if you were up to it, you should go over to their house this morning. The designer is going to be there shortly to go over the final choices for their kitchen remodel.”
“Oh, fun! Why didn’t Lori tell me?”
“She didn’t want to ask when she knew you weren’t feeling well and with our disappointment yesterday—”
“Are you disappointed, Phillip, really? Or do you think it’s for the best?”
“I have to say, I’m a bit disappointed. But you’re going off the pill now, so it will happen soon. I’m sure of it.”
I jump up out of bed. “I think I will go over there.”
I quickly get ready and head over just as the interior designer is pulling in the driveway.
I greet her and help her carry samples into the house.
“Jade! You made it!” Lori squeals with excitement, giving me a hug and leading us into the kitchen.
The designer is sorting through samples.
I push my shoulder into Danny’s when I see him yawn. Lori is super excited about her kitchen remodel. He needs to at least pretend to be interested.
He leans down and rests his chin on his palm as he tries to focus his blurry eyes while the designer shows them cabinet, counter, floor, tile, and fabric samples.
“What do you think, Jade?” Lori asks.
“I thought you wanted a six-burner stove. The drawing shows it’s sized for only four.”
“Oh, good catch,” she says as the designer corrects the plans. “What do you think, Danny?”
Danny wraps an arm around her. “Whatever makes you happy makes me happy.”
She sighs. And not in a good way. “I want you to love it, too.”
“I love the white cabinets. The flooring. The stainless steel appliances. I’m not sure about gray tiles for the backsplash though. They remind me of a bathroom.”
“Subway tiles are very popular right now,” the designer states.
“I thought we agreed on something classic, not trendy?” Danny asks.
“Maybe you should go with tumbled marble. Something softer?” I offer.
The designer digs in her bag. “These are the other options I brought for counters. Why don’t you decide what countertop you want first?”
Lori and Danny both point to the white marble. I point to the thick white quartz.
“Isn’t the marble more classic?” Lori asks.
“It is, but it also stains. You’re getting ready to have kids. Kids spill. Juices, tomato sauce, and especially wine will stain this. Some people like a patina, but I think it would bother you.”
“You can seal it, but it’s something you have to do regularly,” the designer informs.
“I’d hate the maintenance,” Lori decides. “Let’s go with the quartz.”
“Then, I would suggest these for the backsplash,” the designer says, pulling out a gorgeous pale blue glass subway tile. “We can do this tile in different shapes, but I like this the best.”
“I like it, too!” Lori says. I can tell she’s getting really excited.
“And it goes perfectly with these fabrics.”
After the designer leaves, Danny offers to make breakfast, saying it will be the last time in their old kitchen.
“Phillip went for a run,” I tell them. “But he’s bringing back doughnuts.”
“I’m hungry for an omelet,” Lori says, “with grilled onions and peppers. I even have some leftover fajita chicken we could put in it.”
“Sounds awesome,” Danny says. “You cut. I’ll cook.”
“Is there anything I can do?” I ask.
“Sure. I’ll do the peppers, and you do the onions.” Lori hands me a knife as Danny starts grilling bacon.
And it smells so … gross.
All of a sudden, I’m hit with a wave of nausea.
“Uh, excuse me,” I say, running to the bathroom and throwing up the little bit of water I’ve had this morning. “I’m sorry,” I say, coming back out. “I’m still not feeling well.”
“If I didn’t know you’d gotten your period, I’d think you were pregnant,” she says. “Why don’t you sit down while we cook?”
I plop down on the couch, grabbing a magazine off the end table. Under it is what Danny calls the pregnancy bible.
Wait.
Could I be pregnant?
Was the little bit of spotting I had yesterday technically a period?
I think back to all the periods I’ve ever had in my life. The shortest since I went on the pill lasted two days. Yesterday, when I got it, it was really light. But I was so surprised by how sad I felt that I didn’t notice.
I pick up the pregnancy book and thumb through it, looking for any shred of information on this subject.
The first chapter is about what to do before you conceive.
“What are you looking at?” Lori says, startling me.
“Oh, I was just curious about some things.”
“Like what?”
“You know, like, after you go off the pill, when can you start trying?” I lie. What I’m really doing is frantically trying to see if you can sort of get your period and be pregnant. “I see there’s a whole bunch of stuff you’re supposed to do before you conceive. Um, Lori, could you give me your doctor’s name? I think I should go see him. Get started on the right foot.” I quickly put the book down and pick up the magazine.
“Sure, let me get my phone. I’ll text you his contact info.”
Phillip strolls in with a box of doughnuts.
“Jay got sick again,” is the first thing out of Danny’s mouth.
“Yeah, I think I’m going to go home and lie down,” I say.
Phillip kisses me and gives me a smirk. “Care if I stay for breakfast?”
“No, go ahead.”
I’m throwing my shoes on when Lori hands me the book. “Why don’t you take this home and look over it? There’s more than a chapter on what to do before you get pregnant.”
“So, there are a bunch of chapters about sex?” Phillip asks with a grin on his face. “Maybe we should read that together.”
Danny punches him in the shoulder. “You never should have said that, dude.”
I grab the book and the doughnuts. Then, I run home and read the list of pregnancy symptoms.
Tender boobs? No.
Peeing a lot? No.
Really tired? Yes, but could be the flu.
Nausea? Yes, but could be the flu.
Heightened sense of smell? Yes.
Bloating? Doesn’t everyone get bloated before their period?
Spotting? That’s probably more what my so-called period was.
Missed period? Hmm.
I run in the bathroom to check things out.
Still nothing.
I’m eating another doughnut and rummaging through the kitchen, looking for the pregnancy test, when Phillip sneaks up behind me.
“What are you doing?”
“Um, I was looking for that pregnancy-test thingy. You had it in the kitchen, and, uh, you know, with your parents coming for the Super Bowl party, I didn’t want them to see it and get any ideas.”
“Oh, good point.” He reaches into the pantry, moves a box of protein shake mixes, and hands me the test. “Why don’t you put this in our bathroom? Hopefully, it won’t be long until we need it.”
