“Jay, I need to talk to you. Can I come to your office?”
“I’ve got a lot going on today, Danny. Can we talk tonight?”
“Please? I really need someone to talk to.”
“Is everything okay?”
“Not really.”
“Do you want me to reshuffle and meet you for lunch?”
“I’d like to come to your office where no one will overhear what I say.”
“Okay, come to my office then. I’ll order in some lunch.”
A short time later, he shows up at my office, looking like a wreck.
“You know how I was in LA for a meeting?”
“Yeah, how’d it go? Did you decide to do the underwear ads?”
“Yeah, I did. But this is about something else. You can’t tell anyone.”
“Okay.”
“Not even Phillip. He won’t understand.”
“Um—”
“Promise me.”
“All right, I promise.”
“When I was in LA, I met someone.”
“I’m sure you met a ton of people.”
“Yeah, I did, but this particular someone is a girl.”
“Oh,” I say slowly, the implications of what he’s trying to tell me sinking in.
“Please talk to me. I have to talk to someone. Tell me what you consider to be cheating.”
“What do you mean?”
“Like, I wouldn’t consider flirting with someone as cheating, would you?”
“Um, no. I guess not.”
“What about kissing? Making out?”
“Well, I certainly wouldn’t want Phillip kissing anyone else. But I suppose, on the cheating scale, it’s toward the bottom.”
“What happened with Bradley that night you were at the bar? Nick told me the two of you went in the back, alone.”
“He leaned into me. Pressed his body against mine. Had his hands on my shoulders, and I thought he was going to kiss me.”
“How did it feel?” he asks.
“All wrong.”
“What would you have done if it had felt right?”
“Probably wouldn’t have gotten married. Danny, why don’t you just tell me what happened instead of asking me twenty questions?”
He lets out a deep sigh and starts talking. “Okay, so you know my agent, Carter Crawford.”
“Yeah.”
“His brother is also an agent, but he represents people in the entertainment industry as opposed to sports. He invited me to a party, so I could meet Aiden Arrington.”
“Aiden Arrington. He’s engaged to that hot Hollywood actress, Keatyn Douglas, right?”
“Yes. And they own a vineyard. One of their wines is called Moon Wish, which is not-for-profit and raises money for charities.”
“I’ve seen the ads for that wine. Keatyn is in them.”
“That’s right, and they are getting ready to start a new ad campaign. Carter thought maybe Aiden and I could work together. I could be one of the athletes in their advertisements, and they could donate to Diamonds in the Rough.”
“So, you got to meet Keatyn and Aiden?”
“I did. The party was at their home in Malibu.”
“Is Keatyn as pretty in real life as she is on the big screen?”
“She’s gorgeous, and they seem very much in love. So, that all went great. I think we’ll end up working together. You’d like them. They seemed very normal.”
“That’s really cool, Danny. And it would be great for your charity.”
“Yeah, I know. So, that’s all good. Anyway, while we’re talking, this girl bounds up to us. She’s cute as can be and a little tipsy. Keatyn introduces me to—you’re never going to believe this either—Jennifer Edwards and Knox Daniels.”
“Oh my God! Knox is so hot! That Jennifer is one lucky girl. Not only is she our age and has been in huge blockbuster movies, but she’s also dating the Knox Daniels, who was voted one of the sexiest men alive!”
“Sounds like you have a crush.”
“I do. Even Phillip knows that Knox is on my list. Like, if I ever meet him, I can have sex with him, and Phillip will understand.”
“Who does Phillip get to have sex with?”
“No one,” I tease. “Actually, I’m pretty sure his list is full of swimsuit models.”
“So, are you telling me that I could have slept with Jennifer, and it would have been okay if she were on some sort of celebrity list?”
“Well, theoretically, yes. Uh, but I’m not sure because you’re really not ever supposed to meet them. Wait. Is Jennifer the girl who it felt right with?”
He nods. “Yes. She’s all personality. You would love her. She’s so freaking funny.”
“You liked her because she was funny?”
“I mean, of course, she’s really pretty, but there are a lot of pretty girls in the world.”
“So, it was her humor that made her different?”
“Yeah, and she was fun with a capital F. She flirted with me. Made me laugh. And then …”
“And then what?”
“We went for a walk on the beach.”
“She left Knox freaking Daniels to go for a walk with you?”
“What?” he says, holding up his hands. “You think I can’t get the girl?”
“Were you trying to get her, Danny?”
He rubs his face. “I don’t know. Kind of. Yes. Definitely yes. I totally turned on the charm. I couldn’t help myself.”
“Oh, boy. Did you sleep with her?”
“No.”
“But you wanted to?”
“Yeah, I did. If I wasn’t married, I’d still be in bed with her.”
“It’s been three days.”
“I know. Um, it’s been a while since I’ve felt that kind of passion. We talked all night on the beach. I told her stuff I haven’t even told you. Next thing we knew, the sun was coming up, so we watched the sunrise and then got breakfast. Neither one of us wanted the night to end. She drove me to the airport, and when she dropped me off, I wanted to kiss her so bad. There were so many times that night I’d wanted to kiss her. She gave me a couple of air kisses that connected and then slowly backed away, like she was testing my self-control. All I wanted to do was devour that sexy mouth.”
“Danny!”
“I know! I know! But I didn’t. I kissed her hand, which was almost worse because my lips touched her skin. She told me she wanted to give me something to remember her by.” He rolls up his sleeve, showing me his autographed arm. I also notice there is a heart on top of the I in her name. “I feel like a tween who met his favorite pop star. I don’t want to wash it off. And we’ve been texting.”
“So, you’re going to be just friends?”
He shakes his head. “That’s the problem. It doesn’t feel like we’re just friends. Although we didn’t sleep together, we were emotionally intimate. I realized that’s what is missing from my relationship with Lori. We have—well, had—a good physical relationship, but she doesn’t seem to get me. She thinks I’m immature. Really, she thinks we both are. She seems to think being an adult means you can’t have any fun, like when she yelled at us for the rubber-band war. Would Phillip have yelled at you for that?”
“No. He would’ve gone and gotten a box of them, MacGyvered together some rubber-band machine gun, and whooped us.”
“Exactly. He’s smarter than us. He’s very organized and responsible, but he still likes to have a good time. And the novelty of learning about football has worn off for Lori. She didn’t even attempt to watch the Super Bowl. She talked the whole way through it. She’s pissed I’m leaving for camp. If it wasn’t for the money football brings in and the bit of status that goes along with it, she would tell me it wasn’t a grown-up job.”
“I noticed she’s wearing the necklace.”
“Did you also notice she touches it a lot? Especially when she’s mad at me. It’s like she’s rubbing the necklace to remind herself of what she’d be giving up if she left me. When we got engaged, you said she grounds me. Maybe she did in college, but she doesn’t anymore. I’m not sure she still even likes me. All I know is, I want to kiss my father on the lips for making her sign a prenup. And, if it wasn’t for Devaney, I’d divorce her tomorrow.”
His head is down, and I can tell this is tearing him apart. I put my hand on his leg and give it a little squeeze.
“But I don’t want to be that guy. I want to be with my daughter every day. Sometimes, when Lori’s asleep, I sneak out of bed and just go sit by Devaney’s crib. She’s so beautiful and innocent.”
“So, what are you going to do?”
He shakes his head. “That’s why I’m here, Jay. I’ve been thinking about it for three long days, and I don’t know what to do.”
“Danny, I can’t tell you what to do. It’s obvious that you’re not happy in your marriage right now, but I don’t think you should be texting Jennifer. Are you still in love with Lori? Do you think things are salvageable?”
“I don’t know.”
“Well, we know you used to love her.”
“Yeah.”
“What did you love about her?”
“Honestly, she was a challenge. The fact that she didn’t know who I was. The fact that she didn’t know anything about football. She was sort of a novelty. The novelty has definitely worn off.” He studies me. “Tell me the truth. Are you and Phillip going through any of this? Are you happy?”
I nervously rub my eyebrow.
“What?” he says. “You can tell me. Please tell me the truth.”
“Honestly, I’m happier than I’ve ever been.”
“Why didn’t you want to tell me that?”
“Because I feel bad about it.”
“You shouldn’t. Has your pregnancy been that easy, or do you just suck it up?”
“I don’t think any pregnancy is easy, Danny. I was kinda sick the first trimester. I wear out easily. Food is at the top of the priority chain right now, possibly above sex.” I chuckle. “Okay, maybe not. But close. I have weird aches and pains. My feet get sore. I try not to complain, but Phillip also babies me.”
“What do you do for Phillip?”
“I keep his beer fridge stocked,” I tease. “I try to give him massages before he goes to sleep. When he’s had a stressful day, he lays his head on my shoulder, and I run my fingers through his hair. And this sounds stupid, but he loves when I rub his temples. He says it takes the stress out of his eyes. We go jogging together. I don’t know if that’s for him or not; we usually don’t even talk when we run. But, when we get home, we conserve water by showering together.”
“So, even as far along as you are, sexy times are still happening?”
“Pregnancy hasn’t really changed our sex life much. We’ve had to be a little more creative from a timing standpoint. Like, when I was first pregnant, morning sex was out because that’s when I felt sick. Can I be honest?”
“Maybe. Yes. What?”
“Lori doesn’t respect you. To me, that’s the problem in your marriage. She doesn’t even speak nicely to you. And, every time she snaps at you, it makes me mad.”
“Why does it make you mad?”
“Can I quote Phillip on that?”
He laughs. “Sure.”
“It’s like you’ve lost your balls, Danny. Why do you let her talk to you that way? Why aren’t you speaking up when she does something with Devaney that you don’t agree with? You’re a born leader. You can talk just about anyone into anything. Why does she make you back down?”
“I don’t know. Phillip chewed my ass for not standing up for you when Lori’s been mean.”
“You said you would go down with the ship.”
He hangs his head. “I just might.”
“So, maybe you need to fix the ship instead of letting it sink.”
“So, we’re back to the same question. What should I do?”
“If it wasn’t for Devaney, what would you do?”
“Leave Lori’s ass and go screw Jennifer for days. And, if it was as good as I imagine it would be, then I’d probably marry her. On the spot.”
“Marry her?” This is serious. “At least I wouldn’t have to worry about her marrying you for your money,” I joke, trying to make light of it.
“Lori also blames me for her not going to medical school, which pisses me off because I encouraged her to go. She acts like she made this big sacrifice for me. I told her just the other day that she should stop bitching about it and go to school if that’s what she wanted.
“And my connection with Jennifer is different. The way we were together reminded me of you and Phillip. I invited her to come to a Nebraska game this fall. You’ll get to meet her.”
“Danny, I’m not sure …”
“That it’s a good idea?”
“Yeah.”
“I can have friends, right?”
“Yes, you can have friends. But the fact that you wanted to be more than friends is the part that makes this tricky. It sounds like you need to reconnect with Lori. What if Phillip and I babysit tomorrow night? You can go out to dinner. Talk. Go home. Have uninterrupted sex. Pick Devaney up late or even let her spend the night.”
“That’s what Jennifer said I needed to do. So, yes, I’ll take you up on that.”
“Okay, but can I make another suggestion?”
“Sure.”
“I think you need to talk to someone who has been married for a while. Your dad. Mr. Mac. Someone on your team maybe? Someone you can ask if this is normal after having a baby.”
“Actually, someone spoke to me about it. Dirk Nathaniel. He and his wife have four kids. He asked how I was doing after mini camp, said I looked exhausted, and it caught me off guard. I sort of spilled my guts to him. Want to know what his advice was? Get a nanny.”
“That’s actually not a bad idea, Danny. Maybe, if Lori felt like she got a break, she wouldn’t be such a bitch.”
“That’s what he said.”
