Dani and I meet up at the condos to hang out. We’re enjoying popcorn and a movie when Damon calls me.
“Dude, did you hear the news?”
“What news is that?” I ask, putting him on speaker. “I’m with your sister.”
“Unless it’s the kind of news that shouldn’t be shared with your sister,” Dani says with a laugh.
“Sis!” he says. “Mom said she told you. Have you not told Chase yet?”
“Told me what?” I ask.
“That the—” she starts to say, but Damon interrupts her.
“Dates for the Ozarks got moved from August to May. Ask me why,” Damon says.
“Why?”
“Because we are having a joint family reunion this year. The Mackenzies, the Diamonds, and the Archibalds.”
“Is that your mom’s doing?” I wonder.
“It doesn’t matter whose doing it was, dude. You’re missing the point.”
“What is the point?” Dani asks, making a funny face at me.
“That my future wifey will be there, too.”
“Your future wifey? At a family reunion?” I say with a laugh.
“Dude, do you not remember my future wife?” Damon asks, sounding appalled.
“The hot babysitter. I know,” I say.
“Ding, ding,” Damon says.
“But she’s family,” Dani says to him. “You can’t date her.”
“The heck I can’t! There is no shared blood between us, although there are some other bodily fluids I wouldn’t mind sharing, if you catch my drift.”
“Damon!” Dani chastises, but I can’t help but laugh.
“What was her name again?” I can’t remember, and Haley mentioned it to me not that long ago. Started with an A.
“Ainsley. Ainsley Archibald. Although, Ainsley Diamond—no, Mrs. Damon Diamond—sounds much better,” Damon says very seriously.
“That’s great. I can’t wait,” I tell him. “We’ll be able to get to know her better.”
“Intimately even,” Damon jokes.
“Okay, before this starts turning gross, Chase and I are in the middle of watching a movie.”
“If by watching a movie, you mean, you are naked and having fun, I’ll let you go. Otherwise, I need to talk about this.”
I look down at our fully clothed bodies and sigh.
“Ha! I knew it,” Damon yells into the phone. “We need to come up with a plan of attack—and I don’t mean on her body. This girl is too smart. I need to speak to her soul or some shit like that. And you both need to take this seriously and help me. This is the mother of my future children we are talking about.”
He goes on for almost twenty minutes about how he’s going to make the girl fall in love with him. And surprisingly, he doesn’t bring up anything else sexual. And it makes me believe he actually is serious.
I also realize that so is Dani’s mom. In a little less than twenty-four hours, she has secured the surprise engagement date with the whole family. I go into the bathroom and send her a text.
Me: You work fast. Damon just called and told us the news about the joint reunion.
Dani’s mom: Tripp and Van were both quickly on board and basically issued a statement saying, “Y’all better make it work,” to both families.
Me: How much do they know?
Dani’s mom: Just enough to be helpful. The timing really couldn’t have been better. Because Tripp and your mom had been kicking around dates and ideas for the resort’s grand reopening. It will take place at the same time. So, your mother will be helping us plan without really knowing it.
Me: You are brilliant.
Dani’s mom: Why, thank you.
I give a thumbs-up to her last text, then delete the thread.
