On Friday, the Mackenzie and Diamond families along with our grandparents and, of course, Eddie fly up to Lincoln for the game.
By the end of the first quarter, I’m ready to leave. I feel like I’m suffocating. I just want to go back to my little dorm and cry.
Eddie stays in the box until the first touchdown and then wants to go sit with his frat brothers. And probably get a drink. Honestly, I wouldn’t blame him. This break has been a roller coaster of feelings, and I’m not off the ride yet.
I give everyone hugs and kisses, especially my little sisters. I hold them tight, feeling like I might never see them again.
I hug Haley and Damon last, and then Chase grabs my hand and pulls me outside. He looks as bad as I feel, and I know the emotional toll that’s been this weekend is affecting him, too.
“I need to say something before you go,” he says.
I don’t reply, just give him a curt nod, knowing if I speak, I’ll probably fall to pieces.
I expect him to yell at me, so I’m surprised when he pulls my dream ring out of his pocket, slides it on my finger, and says, “Just because we’re not together doesn’t mean that our dreams can’t still come true. I love you, Dani, and at this point, I just want you to be happy. If Eddie is that guy, so be it.”
His gaze meets mine, emotions moving in waves across his face.
“I just don’t understand why you’ve been such a jerk about it though. Especially when you’re still sleeping with Lacey.”
He grabs my chin, so I have to look him in the eye.
“Because I’m not, Dani. I haven’t slept with anyone but you since my birthday. You know how your dad talks about the perfect pass, that moment when everything goes right, how the second the ball leaves your fingertips, you know it’s going to reach its intended destination? And when you throw those kinds of passes, you know they are rare. Because no matter how hard you try to throw it perfectly every time you let go of the ball, there are other factors involved—getting rushed, having to scramble, broken plays. And even though, in those situations, you can usually successfully connect with a receiver, it doesn’t feel the same. I could successfully connect with other girls, Dani, but I’m smart enough to know it wouldn’t feel the same. You are my perfect pass.” He stops, lets out a ragged breath, and then says, “Or at least, you were.”
Tears fill my eyes as I slide my hand over his heart.
He kisses my forehead tenderly, says, “Bye, Dani,” and goes back into the suite.
What I have to do.
Chase
It’s a Friday night. After a game.
We’re back home from Nebraska, not my game, but still.
I look at the tent, still sitting in the corner of my room, sadly waiting for the weekend that never came.
I grab my phone.
Order pizza.
Eat it in the tent alone.
And I know what I have to do.
