I can’t sleep. A glance at the clock tells me it’s only five in the morning. My time here has been productive. My career is back on track, and I have three really good scripts sitting on the bedside table. The problem is, I’m not sure I want it anymore.
I also don’t know what to do about Troy. I have managed to avoid seeing or speaking to him. But Jason called me last night, and I can’t avoid it any longer. He’s a wreck, and if I don’t do something about it, he’ll end up dead.
I consider calling Jadyn, who I know put her kids to bed two nights ago and then flew here, but it’s probably still too early.
I pick up my phone, deciding to call Danny, who is always the bright spot in my day.
“Hey,” I say when he answers. “And I know, it’s for horses.”
“How are you this morning, gorgeous?” His voice is deep and gravelly, like he just woke up.
“Wishing I were there with you,” I say exactly what I’m thinking.
“Then, come home,” he says.
“Home?” I repeat slowly, the word sinking in. “Are you suggesting Kansas City should become my home?”
“Well, I am willing to share my bed with you,” he says sexily.
“Are you really? What about the kids?”
“Devaney told me last night that it’s okay if I date and that she wants me to be happy.”
“That’s sweet, but dating to her is probably different than me sharing your bed. Or moving in with you. Like, that’s a really big step.”
“There’s a place close by where you could sleep if it feels like too much of a commitment.”
“You’re not divorced yet, Danny. I know your wife moved in with Dickrash, but I can’t move in with you until we’re in a relationship. It just sends the wrong message to your children.”
“Lori signed the papers yesterday,” he tells me.
“Did you give her the car?”
“Yeah, and she was shocked. It’s so awesome that she is going to be stuck with a car she hates. I owe you for that brilliant move.”
“We’re going to have to get you a new one,” I tell him. “When do you want to go look?”
“Um, I probably should tell you about my conversation with my daughter first,” he says.
“What happened?”
“Devaney was upset because Lori had told her that you and I had been having an affair and led her to believe that’s why we were getting a divorce.”
“I wish that were the case,” I mutter, causing Danny to laugh.
“I was thinking the same thing. But it actually turned out to be a good talk. Jadyn helped, but I told Dani that I really like you and that even though her mother doesn’t want to be with me, she still doesn’t really want me to be with anyone else.”
“I have to go see Troy today,” I blurt out, not able to hold it in any longer.
“I thought you decided not to?”
“Yeah, well, Jason says Troy’s going to kill himself. That he is afraid to go in Troy’s room and wake him up every afternoon. Afraid he’s going to find Troy dead. If that happened and I could have done something to help, I’d feel guilty for the rest of my life.”
“And you’re hoping to sweet-talk him into going to rehab?”
“I think I at least need to try.”
“And you promise that you won’t be alone with him? I’m not worried about you sleeping with him, but I am worried about your safety. If you decide to get back together with him, let me know, so I can go cry in the corner.”
“Danny Diamond,” I purr. “You are the only man I want to sleep with. It’s a really good thing that we did it quite a few times that night. Reliving it in my dreams is the only thing keeping me going.”
My phone rings, and I see that he’s requesting to video chat. I smooth out my hair and hit Accept.
“I wanted to see your face when I said this. I was going to tell you when you came back, but I’m going to tell you now. I haven’t dated in a long time, but even then, I never played games with girls. I fell hard for you and walked away all those years ago. You should hate me for that, but you don’t. I did the right thing for my family but the wrong thing for me. We’ve been given the opportunity to change that. In football terms, when I see an open hole, I go for it.”
I start laughing hysterically.
He looks puzzled. He’s pouring his heart out, and I’m laughing at him. I’m so bad. But I can’t help it.
“You said … you said,” I say, practically hyperventilating because I’m laughing so hard. “Oh my gosh, Danny. I know you are being serious right now, and I so love what you said. But it’s all your fault. You warped my mind with your dirty football terms.” I laugh some more. “And … you just said you were going for the open hole. And”—I clutch my stomach, doubling over. I don’t know why this is making me laugh so hard. Maybe I needed the break from life—“I am the open hole. Get it? Like, sexually? Ohmigawd. I’m sorry.”
His face breaks out into a crooked smile, like he’s trying to hold it in, and then he starts laughing, too. He shakes his head at me and narrows his eyes. “I promise, no more football terms when I’m trying to be serious and romantic.”
His words stop my laughter. I suck in a breath.
“Perfect. Keep going. Please.”
“What I was trying to say is that I want you in my life. If you want a baby, I want a baby. I just can’t move to California right now. You told me that you had taken time off to travel with Troy. When were you supposed to start back to work?”
“Not until mid-February.”
He gives me another beaming smile, one that reaches his brilliant blue eyes. “Which gets me through the season. I know Kansas City isn’t quite as glitzy as traveling to European nightclubs, but you could come here instead, maybe? We can see how things go and decide what’s next for both of us. Together. If I get my third ring, I’m probably going to retire. Which would open up even more possibilities.”
I gaze into his eyes. I’m so incredibly happy.
He must take my silence as indecision because he starts talking fast, “I know that’s asking a lot. LA is your home and where you work. It’d be a big lifestyle change to the one you’re probably used to living.”
“I grew up in a small town, Danny. I want you and whatever challenges you bring. Let’s figure them out together.”
“I just don’t want you to give up your career for me though. Like, I’m adamant about that. My wife blamed me for her not going to medical school even though it was her choice. Never once had I even suggested it.”
“What about your sex life?” I blurt out. My old tendencies seem to have come back with a flourish.
“What about yours?” he counters.
“We were apart more than we were together,” I tell him. “So, that made it seem better than it was. It was nothing compared to how it is with you.”
“And mine was—you know, looking back is different than living it,” he says. “We had sex. Sex feels good. I loved her. But sex was always very … orchestrated. The right mood, the right lingerie, a new sex toy, the right lighting. Even when we were dating, it was that way. I was used to doing it whenever and wherever in college. This felt mature. Like I was a grown-up. If that makes sense.”
“It does. That’s the problem with sex. Emotions get in the way.”
“Yet emotions are the best part of sex.”
“The love?” I dare ask.
“Well, the love deepens your feelings, but there are other emotions—desire, need, hunger, and simple primal urge. I know we’ve only been together the one night, but I’d say sex with you is the full package.”
I visually swoon, clasping my hands together and holding them in front of my lips. “And I very much like the package,” I tease before we say good-bye.
Danny
After I hang up with Jennifer, I head to practice. I’m feeling both happy about the fact that Jennifer will be able to come back here for the season and worried about her visit with Troy.
I pick up my phone and call Jadyn.
“Everything okay?” she asks upon answering. And even though it’s quite early on the West Coast, I can hear a jackhammer in the background and know she’s on the job site.
“Yeah, everyone is fine. Do you have a minute to talk?”
“Sure. Hang on.” She must put me on mute because the next time I hear her voice, she’s somewhere quiet. “What’s up?”
“Jennifer is supposed to see Troy today. She promised not to be alone with him, but she only mentioned that his manager, some Jason guy, would be there. If things get out of hand, I’m not sure that’s enough, you know?”
“She mentioned that when he was drunk and out of control, he could get violent,” she says. “There were tabloid reports this morning of him out partying again last night. The press seems to love following him. Probably waiting for him to implode.”
“Any ideas on how I can make sure she stays safe without being the overprotective boyfriend?”
“Boyfriend?” she teases in a singsong voice that reminds me of when we were kids. “Is that an official title?”
“I didn’t ask her to go steady, if that’s what you’re asking. But I did sort of ask her to move in with me. At least, for the rest of the season. She isn’t scheduled to start filming until February, so we have some time to figure things out.”
“Danny! What did she say?”
“She said no,” I reply in mock sorrow.
Jadyn is quiet. “I’m sorry. I really thought—”
“She said that she wouldn’t move in with me until after the divorce was final. Because of the kids.”
“I guess that makes sense. And it’s a good parenting move. Even though your wife—”
I interrupt her again, “I told her I knew somewhere close by that she could stay.”
“Oh, I see. You’re calling to suck up,” she teases.
“Kinda.”
“It’s fine if she stays. Phillip’s sister called yesterday to tell us that she couldn’t make it for Christmas. She has to have surgery on her knee during the holiday break, so their family won’t be coming down as planned.”
Phillip’s older sister, Ashley, works in administration at the university and still lives in Nebraska where we all grew up.
“And it sounds like Phillip’s parents are going to help out, so the room will be free.”
“It’s like all the stars are aligning,” I say with a laugh, knowing it is something she would say to me.
“Yes, they seem to be. I’m happy for you, Danny. And to answer your other question, I think there should definitely be some security present when Jennifer goes to see Troy. Why don’t I talk to her agent? Jennifer already set it up for us to talk about some questions I have regarding his celebrity clients and their hotel needs.”
“You’re amazing and my best friend in the whole world.”
She sighs. “I should probably tell you now.”
“What? I’m not your best friend anymore?”
“I kind of maybe told Tripp that you would come to the grand opening of the hotel this summer. Schmooze.”
“Are you kidding? I wouldn’t miss that for the world.”
“Then our—shoot, I have to stop and add it up—twenty-seven-year friendship is still intact.”
Jennifer
He wants me to move in with him!
I feel like I need to pinch myself to make sure I’m not dreaming.
I take my time in getting ready. Trying to emotionally prepare for seeing Troy today.
Of course, once I’m finally pumped up to go and get it over with, I get a text from his manager.
Jason: Can we reschedule?
Me: I’d prefer to just get it over with now, Jason.
Jason: Um, today isn’t a good day.
Me: Why not?
Jason: He was out last night. Just trust me.
Me: Fine. But if it’s not tomorrow, it’s nothing.
I call the realtor who is going to help me find a house to lease and ask if we can look today instead of tomorrow. Twenty minutes later, and I’m in his shiny Range Rover, heading out to Malibu.
Hopefully, I will find a place here, so I can feel settled.
