“I heard from Cade that you didn’t go see Troy yesterday,” Jadyn says when we meet up for breakfast.
“Thank you for talking to him about getting security, but you’re right; I didn’t go see him. His manager asked to change it to today. I looked for a place to live instead, which honestly was just as depressing.”
“Why was it depressing?” Jadyn asks before taking a sip of her coffee.
“I looked at seven different places, and none of them felt right.”
“Were they all in the same part of town?”
“Yeah, Malibu. That’s where I’ve pretty much always lived—well, once I earned enough money.”
Jadyn studies me from across the table. “And that’s where you want to continue to live?”
I sigh. “I thought I did, but now, nothing feels right. Originally, I loved the laid-back vibe. Later, I moved in with Troy, who lived just a few houses down the beach from me.”
“And now?”
“I love having views of the ocean, but everything I’ve seen feels too small, too modern, and too close together. I’ve also only been looking at properties for lease. My realtor says that’s what I need at this point since my life is so up in the air, but I’m not sure I agree.”
“You want something more permanent. You want to feel settled.”
“Exactly. During most of my adult life, I’ve never felt completely settled. Everything has been temporary. The house I lived in with Troy was beautiful, but he owned it, so I never made any changes. I just fit my stuff and my life into it. And if this is going to work with Danny, I would need a house out here with more bedrooms, more space.”
“Well then, maybe you need to either look at a different location or consider buying.”
“Do you think I should make that kind of a decision without Danny?”
“Yes. I think you need to. In Kansas City, you would be moving into Danny’s house. We’re completely changing it from what it was when Lori lived there, so you don’t have to deal with that, but will you be able to consider it home?”
“I helped him choose the kitchen design.” I grin. “And maybe I’ll end up on the wall in his workout room.”
Jadyn smiles thoughtfully. “Wouldn’t that be something?”
“I think you’re right. I need to buy a house. I was thinking it should maybe even have a nice backyard.”
“Kids need space,” she says with a grin.
“I know. I can’t even believe I’m letting my mind go there.”
“But it has been since you saw his tattoos,” she says knowingly.
“Yeah, pretty much. I had sort of given up on the idea of having kids. As soon as he showed me that empty space on his arm, I wanted to fill it for him.” I roll my eyes at myself. “I’m smitten. What can I say?”
“Have you ever been to your agent’s house?” she asks me.
“I haven’t been to Cade and Palmer’s house in probably six years.”
“You didn’t know he moved then?” she asks.
“Uh, no. He didn’t mention it,” I reply, wondering why he didn’t. When I come to the realization, I hang my head.
“Why do you look sad about that?” Jadyn wonders.
“Because I can’t remember the last time I asked about his family. When we do talk, it’s all about me. I used to be pretty good friends with his younger brother, Cash, and his wife, Ashlyn. They have the cutest love story.”
“She got dumped at a friend’s wedding, got drunk, and met Cash, and then they went to Vegas on a whim that night and got married, right?”
I nod.
“Why aren’t you friends with them anymore?”
“Troy was really high at a party at their house. I wanted to leave. Troy got mad and kicked the wall, putting a hole through it. I was horribly embarrassed, offered to pay, and haven’t talked to them since.”
She reaches across the table, grabs my hand, and squeezes it. “I’m sorry for all you went through, Jennifer. But only you are in charge of your life. Remember that today when you go see Troy.”
“I will. It’s hard though. I just wish I could fix him, you know?”
“While that’s a noble cause, when fixing someone else harms you, then it’s time for you to get out.”
“I should have gotten out of the relationship a long time ago. It made me feel helpless and weak. Which is crazy because I used to be …” My words trail off.
“No excuses,” Jadyn says. “You are out of the relationship now. That’s what matters. You’re moving forward with your life.”
“Yes. I just have to get him to rehab first.”
“Actually, you don’t,” Jadyn says. “You haven’t asked for my opinion, but I’m going to give it to you. He doesn’t deserve your help anymore.”
“I know,” I say even though I know I’m going to help him. I decide to change the subject. “How did you know Cade and Palmer moved?”
“They invited me for dinner last night, so I got to see the new house. The reason I even brought it up is because you might like the area. It’s hilly and gorgeous; it has sweeping ocean views and bigger, more private lots. He also said Palmer loves it because instead of being an hour from most of her movie studios, she’s now a thirty-minute drive.”
“Where are they at?”
“Pacific Palisades.” Jadyn’s eyes get wide with excitement. “Talk about a sunset. I love the ones we watch at our lake, but wow, the ocean looks like it never stops from there, and the view is just incredible.”
“Is the house pretty?”
“It has amazing bones. That’s why they wanted me to see it. They thought since I was going to be out here often, maybe I’d be interested in another project.”
“And what did you say?”
“That I appreciated the offer, but I don’t have time.”
“Cade probably didn’t take that for an answer, I bet. He’s a born negotiator.”
“That is true. So’s his brother Carter. That’s why Danny hired him as his agent to begin with. He’s got a gift in that regard. He can get his way, all while convincing the other side they are getting a good deal.”
“That’s why I hired Cade, too. Tell me about their place.”
“It’s an older estate. One of the largest bluff-side properties in the area, I’m told, and it has panoramic views from Palos Verdes all the way down to Malibu. Loads of potential.”
A smile spreads across my face. I can see how hard it was for her to turn down the job offer. But I know time with her family is more important.
“So, we came to an agreement.”
“What kind of agreement?”
“I agreed to help out a little with the design. Their architect has drawn up plans. I’m going to review them, suggest changes, and then give Palmer some finish options. I’m going to be picking them out for the hotel, so not a big deal for me to find some samples for them in the process. Something else happened yesterday,” she admits.
“Uh-oh. Why do I get the feeling you’re about to give me the bad news?”
“It’s not bad news. It’s just that Tripp mentioned that he wants to buy my company.”
“You’re not excited about the prospect?”
“I have mixed feelings about it. It’s hard to let go of something you built from the ground up. It’s also hard to sell your baby to a publicly traded company. Even though Tripp is forward-thinking, he still has to keep his stockholders happy. He says, with as much as he’s paying for the hotel renovations, he might as well own the company, so he can keep the profits. He wants his hands in all the pots.”
“Pots of money,” I tease. “What are you going to do?”
“I’m not sure. I’m still in shock. And I certainly know now how Phillip feels about the whole thing. I wasn’t seeing it in the same light as I am now. It’s personal. Deeply personal.”
“Maybe you should come to my psychic with me today.”
“You believe in that stuff?” she asks.
“I never used to until I met Serena. She’s so spot-on. I’ve been going to her for years.”
“How is she spot-on?”
“I went to her after Danny and I met. She knew I’d met the love of my life. She also told me it wouldn’t happen when I wanted it to.”
“Wow. I went once in college, for fun. It seemed hokey to me. Never tried again. Also, I really don’t want to know my future.”
“She doesn’t, like, tell you when you’re going to die or anything. It’s more guidance. Big picture. Maybe you should ask her about selling to Tripp.”
“If she’s that good, she’d already know.”
“True. I just mean, maybe she could shed light on the situation.”
“Maybe,” Jadyn says, but I can tell she’s not interested. Not that she disapproves or anything, just maybe it’s not for her. Or maybe she isn’t looking for answers like I always am. “Anyway, good to see you this morning. I have a few meetings, and then I’ll be headed home. Need to be back in time for Chase’s game. When are you coming back?”
“After I find a place to live. I feel like I need to get settled here before I can let myself settle there, if that even makes sense.”
“It does. It’s like a to-do list that you have to finish before you can start anything else.”
“Exactly.”
She takes one last bite of her avocado toast and then wipes her mouth, grabs her portfolio, and waves good-bye.
I order another cappuccino and take some time to look at homes for sale on an app on my phone. I’ve found four houses that I’m interested in, and I’m down to my last drop when my phone vibrates.
Jason: We’re on for today. An hour work?
I sit and stare at the phone, wondering if I should reply. If I should go.
Finally, I reply, telling myself that it’s the last time that I ever will.
Me: Yeah.
I call the two-man security team that Cade contracted yesterday and meet them in a parking lot in Malibu to discuss the plan. I let them know that I don’t want Troy to know they are there, as I don’t want to do anything to agitate him. Especially when he’s been bingeing. They decide to put a bug in my purse and ask me for a code word I will say if I want them to enter the house. I choose avocado. Troy hates them, so I don’t have to worry about it coming up in conversation.
A short time later, I’m standing outside the front door of the house I used to live in, ringing the doorbell like a stranger.
To my surprise, Troy answers the door himself. He’s dressed up, wearing a collared shirt, freshly pressed jeans, and a plaid blazer that I bought for him on a trip to Amsterdam.
I wonder if he even realizes the irony of it.
“Jennifer,” he says. “Thank you for coming. I really appreciate it. Can I get you something to drink?”
I scrunch my nose in disgust. Is he serious?
“I’m not offering alcohol,” he says, although he looks like he could use some. He’s shaking slightly. “You don’t need to glare at me like that. I meant, a sparkling water. Or I have some of that passion fruit tea you love.”
“Water would be great. Where’s Jason?” I ask, realizing that he’s probably shaking because he binged all night and then took a stimulant to prop himself up today.
“I didn’t want him to be here because I wanted to speak privately with you.” He goes into the kitchen, grabs an already-prepared tray with the drinks he offered, and carries it out to the back deck. “You always loved this view,” he says as he sets the tray on the coffee table in front of the sectional outdoor sofa and then motions for me to sit.
I take a seat directly across from him, not wanting to be close—and the view is literally the last thing on my mind.
He takes his time pouring the water into crystal tumblers and then carefully adds a lime to each. He sets the glass in front of me and holds his up in the air. “Here’s to us.”
I don’t bother saying that there is no more us. It’s a moot point.
“I wanted you to come so that I could tell you again how sorry I am. Things got out of control in a way I didn’t intend. It won’t happen again.”
“Troy, it is happening again. There have been photos of you out practically every single night. I’m not here, so you can apologize. I’m here because Jason wants me to convince you to go to rehab.”
“I let him think that. I’m sorry, but I knew if I asked, you wouldn’t come.”
“So, does that mean you are going on your own?”
“For thirty days. I’m checking in tomorrow. Yes, I’ve binged a little the last couple of days. It was my last hurrah. My last drink ever. I promise, Eddie.”
“I was serious when I said to never call me that again.” I cringe.
“I’m sorry. I forgot. I’ve called you it for so long. Shit, this isn’t what I wanted. I have a lot going on. A lot to tell you.”
He tells me what Jason already told me. About the residency offer in Vegas.
He speaks eloquently, much like the man I fell in love with all those years ago, with conviction and hope. And it’s glimpses like these that pull at my heartstrings.
“I know I have a problem. And I’m very sorry for everything I did in the past to hurt you because of my addiction. But all that is going to change. I’ll do rehab and get better, and then we’re going to have a normal life. We’ll buy a gorgeous place in Vegas with a whole lot of bedrooms that we can fill with children. I’m serious. I want to have a baby with you. Heck, we could have two or three. Whatever you want.”
I sit silently and listen. It’s like he’s having an intervention with himself, and I can’t help but feel like he was coached about what to say.
“What do you think?” he asks.
“About having children?”
“About all of it. Moving, finding an awesome place to live, having a few babies, maybe even getting a dog. You can decorate the house however you want. Maybe we could even build one.”
“Uh, I don’t know about that.” I don’t want to upset him by turning him down flat. Not when he’s agreed to go to rehab. Jason would kill me.
“I get it,” Troy says, standing up, walking toward me, taking my hands in his, and pulling me to stand. “I really understand. I know that I embarrassed you. I know that I embarrassed me. I know what I did was disrespectful to you and our relationship, but you have to give me another chance to prove to you that I’m still the man you fell in love with.” He drops down on one knee. “And I’m going to do it by doing something I’ve never considered. It’s not that I haven’t always loved you. I have. It’s because our love was so amazing that I didn’t want to ruin it with a title. But that was before. This is now. Now, I want it all. With you. Ed—er, Jennifer, will you marry me?”
When I don’t say anything, he pulls out a black velvet box and opens the lid. Nestled inside is a simple ring.
And it takes me back.
We were sitting out in the ocean atop surfboards, just in front of this house, which he’d bought when his band hit it big.
“It was my mother’s wedding band,” he said, showing me the ring that he wore on a long gold chain. “She passed away a few years ago, and I miss her terribly. She was my biggest cheerleader. My biggest fan. She’d be so proud of everything I’ve accomplished. A lot of people think Twisted Dreams was an overnight success, but they don’t know how many crappy little clubs we’d played in. How we worked during the day and then played at night. How when we got done playing, I would stay and DJ. My mom knew. She’d bought me my first set of drums when I was seven. Listened to me beat on them, even when she had to be sick of the noise. This ring represents everything we worked toward together, and I hope to keep making her proud of me.”
“It’s my mother’s ring,” Troy says.
“I know,” I say, shocked he would consider parting with it.
“That’s how much you mean to me. We can get a pretty diamond to go with it, but I knew this would mean more. My mom wouldn’t be very proud of me right now, and she wouldn’t be proud of how I’ve treated you. I’m going to fix it. It’s going to change. This ring is not only me asking you to forgive me and marry me, but it’s also a promise that I won’t ever let you down again.”
“Troy, I shouldn’t be the reason you go to rehab. That should be because you want it for you.”
“I do. I want it for both of us.”
I swallow hard. Here he is, down on his knee in front of me. Something I wanted for so long.
But I can’t lie to him about this. It wouldn’t be fair.
“I can’t agree to marry you, Troy. I’m sorry. I appreciate everything you said. And I know how much the ring means to you—”
“That’s what Jason said you would say.” He snaps the lid shut and stands up, looking pissed. “Why can’t you just fucking forgive me? I’m pouring out my heart to you. What more do you want?”
“You write songs, Troy. They’re just words until someone sets them to music.”
He strips his jacket off. He’s sweating, and I can tell he needs a fix. “Are you saying that I need to write you a song?”
“I’m saying that you can’t ask me to commit to any of those things until you can prove that you’re in a place to be making those kinds of promises. Go to rehab.”
“You bitch,” he says, and I know what’s coming next.
“Avocado!” I scream.
Troy grabs a handful of my hair, pulling me toward him. “I’ve had enough of this shit. We’re getting back together. We have to announce it, so they will sign me.”
“That figures,” I say softly, refusing to get worked up. I know all that will do is elevate his anger. “In other words, you still don’t love me the way I deserve to be loved. Let go of me.”
He doesn’t. He gets in my face and yells at me more, spittle flying from his mouth. I can’t even tell you how ugly he looks right now.
“Get your hands off her,” one of the security men says, coming up the back stairs.
“This is none of your business,” Troy fires back. “Get off my property, or I’m calling the cops.”
“And we’ll have you arrested for domestic violence,” the man says.
“We? You think she is ever going to say that to a policeman? She loves me. She’ll do anything for me. Won’t you, Eddie?”
“Tase him,” I say to the other man who Troy has no idea is standing behind him. “He’s about to get more violent.”
So, he does.
And I have to say, I kind of enjoy watching Troy writhe in pain.
The second I’m out the door, I call Jason. Of course, he doesn’t answer, so I call his assistant.
“Is he in the office?” I ask.
“Yes, ma’am, but he’s with a client, and he cannot be disturbed.”
“Bullshit,” I say, hanging up and getting in the car.
I give my driver for the day the address to Jason’s office and tell him to go there. I’m going to give him a piece of my mind and let him know that Troy is all his. I’m completely out.
I then decide to call my realtor. If this visit with Troy has solidified one thing in my mind, it’s that I do want to buy a house. A big house with land and privacy and lots of bedrooms for friends and family.
We’re nearly to Jason’s office when we drive by the street where my psychic lives.
“Stop!” I tell the driver. I instruct him to make a quick U-turn and pull up in front of the house she rents.
When I walk in, she says, “I’ve been expecting you.” Which I guess shouldn’t be a surprise, but it is. “And you want to talk about love.”
I nod my head and take a seat at Serena’s table. It’s covered in a blue velvet cloth with little silver stars. The walls of the room are painted violet, and the space is the definition of gypsy boho.
She takes my hand in hers and closes her eyes. “It’s said that we really only fall in love with three different people in our lifetime. I believe this is a way in which the universe guides us, for each love teaches us something. Consider your first love. You dated him in high school. It broke both your hearts when you left for LA to follow your dream.”
I nod somberly, remembering how traumatic our breakup was.
Serena’s gaze meets mine. “In this type of love, how others react to the love is more important than your true feelings. I’m sure all your friends thought you were the perfect couple.”
“Yeah, I mean, he was a great guy and sweet, and I loved him, but—”
“In love, there should be no buts,” she says in a lyrical way. Serena has a soft, hypnotic voice. “A person’s second love is their difficult love. It is a love that hurts. Troy lied to you, manipulated you, and caused you pain. But, hopefully, he taught you an important lesson, Jennifer. What often happens is this second type of love becomes a cycle of finding someone with the same issues, each time thinking the outcome will be different. In your case, you loved the same man, but each time you tried to love him, it ended up worse than before. Trust me, if you go back to him, things will continue to deteriorate. The cycle will not be broken. This is an unhealthy love, one where trying to make it work becomes more important than the love itself.”
“I’m not taking him back. I don’t want to be in that cycle ever again,” I tell her.
“That’s good to hear because it means you are prepared for your third love.”
“What’s that?”
“The kind of love you never see coming. Not everyone is lucky enough to experience this type of love, but it is what I see in your future. This love will come to you so easily that it doesn’t seem real. You will have the kind of connection that is so intense, so right, that it will shake you to your core. This is love that fairy tales are made of. I believe you have met this man in the past. And I believe it is the same man that first brought you to see me years ago.”
“How do you know that?”
“It is my gift. And I can see it in your eyes. I’m not saying that it will be an easy journey. I do see a few roadblocks ahead—and I see a snake in your future. One with two heads that will rise up to keep you apart. But in the end, if you open your heart to him, this man will show you that true love exists. And, Jennifer, my dear, when you find that kind of love, you don’t let it pass you by. Especially if you were lucky enough to cross paths for a second time.”
“Fourteen years ago, I fell hard. Fast. But he was married. Had a new baby. He chose them. It destroyed me.”
“You still had lessons to learn.”
“So, I should be with him?” I ask, desperately waiting for her answer.
“You should follow your heart,” she says in a way that sounds more cryptic than I hoped.
“But he lives in Kansas City. I live in LA. It’s where my work is.”
“I happen to know that not every working actor lives in LA. In fact, I believe you know someone who uprooted his life for love.”
“Knox Daniels,” I mutter.
“Yes,” Serena says. “When was the last time you spoke to your old friend?”
“It’s been a while,” I admit.
Serena nods her head toward the door, suggesting it is time for me to leave.
I decide to hell with Jason and have the driver take me to my garage. It’s not a typical storage facility. It’s got space for my cars along with a place to store the clothing that my stylist has retired. I glance at my watch. It’s eleven, meaning if I leave now, I could be to Asher Vineyards before seven this evening. Earlier if I drive fast. Now, which car do I choose?
One immediately catches my eye. The car Riley Johnson sold me. The Bentley he once let me drive on this exact trip many years ago.
I get in the car and go before I have time to change my mind.
I think about Keatyn, Riley, and Knox. I first became friends with Riley Johnson, who was CEO of Captive Films, at a boring industry party when I flirted and then left the party with him. I was young, bold, and unstoppable. When I wanted something, I went for it.
I had heard through the grapevine that Captive Films was getting ready to cast a role that I was dying to play. Riley and I had a little fling, but it was pretty much a disaster before it started because he was in love with his high school sweetheart, Ariela Ross, who had just come back into his life. I got the movie role regardless, and I about died when I learned that one of my costars would be Knox Daniels, an actor I had crushed on for years. I’ll never forget our screen test. No one recorded it, as it was totally on the fly, taking place in Keatyn’s office. Our chemistry was off the charts, both on- and off-screen, but we were destined to just be friends.
It’s been a long time since Captive Films moved their headquarters to Sonoma County, where award-winning actress and screenwriter, Keatyn Arrington and her husband, Aiden, own a successful vineyard. Knox and his wife, Katie, moved out there as well along with Riley and Ariela, who are now happily married.
I first met Troy at Keatyn and Aiden’s wedding, and I haven’t really talked to Knox since he won an Academy Award that following year. Keatyn and Troy were good friends when they were young, but she put distance between them due to his behavior and lifestyle—and that included me. Even though the role I had done for Captive was a huge success, I was never asked to be a part of their other projects. Of course, that might have been because we had to shut down filming for two weeks when I had to be with Troy the first time he fell off the wagon, which was very early in our relationship. I should have known then.
I must be crazy, but I’m going anyway. I’m drawn back to them like I’m drawn to Danny. The question is, which one of them should I call? I contemplate that for the entire drive.
In the end, I find myself pulling into the winery. The parking lot is full, and there are numerous couples having picnics on a large veranda.
If I didn’t have to pee so bad, I’d probably turn around. I spot someone leaving, pull into their vacated stall, and race to the winery to use the facilities.
But when I get back out to my car, someone familiar is leaning against it.
“Jennifer!” Riley says, rushing toward me and pulling me into a hug. “I knew this was my car.”
“I’m pretty sure it’s been my car for quite some time.”
“It will always be my car,” he teases. “What are you doing here? Actually, I shouldn’t have asked that. We heard about what happened with Troy. Seriously, how are you?”
Tears flood my eyes, and I launch myself back into his arms.
“I’m thinking, not so good,” he says. “Why don’t you come with me?”
He leads me to a tricked-out golf cart.
“Where are we going?”
“Somewhere other than here,” he says, eyeing the people milling about, who have definitely recognized us both.
“I probably should have driven the Prius.” I laugh.
“Screw that,” he says as he takes off down a cement path.
We drive for quite a few minutes before he pulls up to a building out in the woods. One I’ve seen pictures of, but whose location is supposedly a secret—Captive Films’ studio.
“I can’t believe you built all of this out here,” I say in awe, taking in the whole spread, which even has outdoor sets.
“That’s not why I brought you here,” he replies. “I just ran to the vineyard to take my beautiful wife some flowers.”
“That’s so sweet. She has her event planning office there, doesn’t she? I read about it in a magazine.”
“Yeah, she does.” He leans in and whispers to me, “No one knows yet, but she took a test this morning. She’s pregnant. It’s very much an oops baby. Our son, Mason, just turned thirteen, and our daughter, Emerson will be twelve next month.”
“Congratulations, Riley. I’m so happy for you,” I say sincerely, my eyes filling with tears again. I so wish I had a family.
“Look who I found at the winery,” he announces as we walk into the studio. “She even drove my car.”
“You know what that means, don’t you, Jennifer?” Keatyn says, standing up and heading my way. “He’s going to want to take it for a spin.” She gives me a hug. “I’m sorry about what happened with Troy.”
“Thanks,” I say. A moment later, I’m face-to-face with Knox Daniels, who also gives me a hug.
“It’s been too long, sugar. You finally come to your senses and leave the idiot?”
“Knox!” Keatyn chastises. “Don’t be so insensitive!”
Knox raises an eyebrow at me in question regardless.
“Yes,” I say.
“So, what brings you here?” Keatyn asks. “Come, sit down.”
I follow them into a lounge and plop into a comfortable suede chair. “I’m not sure why I’m here,” I answer. “Actually, that’s not true. I need to know how you did it.”
“Did what?” Riley asks, handing me a glass of chilled chardonnay.
“Left LA. Like, is it working for you? I mean, that’s a stupid question. Of course it is. You swept the Academy Awards with your first project filmed here. You’re still making major motion pictures, but you’re not that far from LA. Like, a quick plane ride, and you can be back. What if you had moved farther away, like, say, somewhere in the Midwest? Would you still be able to make movies? Are you glad you did it? Do you like the lifestyle? Is it slower, better? Do you have time for your families? Like, could I have time for that sort of thing?” I word-vomit.
Keatyn taps her finger on her lip, studying me. “What’s in the Midwest?”
“Honestly, someone you know. Someone I met at one of your parties a very long time ago.”
“Danny Diamond?” Aiden asks from behind me. I didn’t hear him sneak in.
“Danny Diamond?” Keatyn repeats. “But he’s married.”
“Well, technically,” Aiden replies.
“Are you having an affair with him?” Keatyn asks.
“No, she’s not,” Aiden says to his wife as he sits down next to her. I assume Aiden is one of the few people Danny told about his impending divorce.
“I guess we all need to be filled in on the situation,” Knox says. “Danny’s a good guy. Heck of a quarterback.”
I immediately spill my guts, telling them everything that has happened—from when I first met Danny, to when Jadyn texted me, and to the psychic reading that led me here.
“I believe that,” Keatyn says. “About the love part.”
“Me, too,” Riley says as Knox raises his hand in agreement.
“That’s why I came to talk to you. He has two kids that he can’t uproot. I’m trying to figure out how we could make it work, logistically.”
“Jennifer,” Riley says, “how’s your financial situation?”
“Good. Really good. I mean, I could live very comfortably for the rest of my life on what I’ve earned so far.”
“Then, why are you even questioning it?” Knox asks.
“Because I love my job,” I fire back. “Would you give up doing something you love for love?”
“In a heartbeat,” they all say, causing themselves to laugh.
“But the point is,” Knox says, “we didn’t have to. Neither do you. You only take roles that fit into your new world—or better yet, you start a production company and create the roles you want.”
“Or you work with us,” Keatyn says. “A long time ago, you told me you had a drawer full of scripts that you’d never let anyone see. Maybe they have been waiting for this moment.”
“Like write scripts and not act? I’m not sure if I could do that,” I say.
Knox waves his hand at me. “The script I wrote that went on to sweep the Oscars was supposed to be set in New York.”
“And I suggested that we change the setting to somewhere closer to our studios,” Keatyn adds. “You could do the same thing. Set the movie where you want to be and star in it yourself.”
“But I don’t really know how to do that. Like, I don’t know anything about the business side of it all.”
“I think Keatyn’s point,” Riley suggests, “is that it’s possible. If the script is right, maybe we could team up. Trust me, love and happiness are worth it. Hell, I can’t even hold it in any longer. Ariela’s pregnant. We just found out this morning.”
“Oh boy. That’s a big surprise,” Keatyn says with a laugh. “How does Ariela feel about it?”
“She cried. Cursed. Decided she was incredibly happy. Cried and cursed some more. It’s safe to say, she’s a tad emotional,” he says. “She’s just still in shock. Literally, last night, she was talking about how different our lives will be once our oldest goes off to boarding school.”
“I still want to have babies. Do you think I’m too old?” I ask, wondering what people would think about me just getting started.
“Of course not,” Keatyn says. “I’ve actually been thinking about it a lot lately myself. If I’m ready to be done.”
“Oh no,” Aiden says with a laugh and a beaming smile.
It impresses me with how in love they still seem.
“You’d think with five children already, it would be enough,” Keatyn says. “A woman’s body can be so frustrating. We got pregnant with the triplets so easily, had a miscarriage in between our fourth, and another one before our fifth. But, Riley, I have to admit, you just made my day. Now, I can enjoy the pleasure of having another baby around without having one myself.”
Aiden dramatically wipes his brow.
My heart feels full when I’m around them. They give me hope that maybe I could make it work, but one thing is eating at me. “I gave up so much of myself to be with Troy. Would I be doing that again if I was with Danny?”
Keatyn takes my hand. “You know what? Why don’t you see this in action? I need to go up and check on my babies. Join me.”
“Okay,” I agree.
“And while you ladies go do that, why don’t you give me your keys? Us boys need to go drive my car,” Riley says.
“My car,” I stress, handing over the key fob.
Keatyn and I get into another golf cart, and as she winds through the trees, she gives me a tour, pointing out Knox and Katie’s house, Riley and Ariela’s, and her grandparents’. Pretty soon, she parks in front of one of their guesthouses that I remember from the last time I was here.
“When the children were young, we turned this into our daycare facility. When they were old enough for school, we made the decision to homeschool. We wanted to keep them here, in a safe and protected environment, for as long as we could. We also wanted them to be able to travel. The private restaurant club that Aiden started when we were first married has expanded from the first one in London to twenty countries around the world. The kids also use this as their hangout after hours.”
She touches her fingerprint to a door, which then clicks to let us in.
We go inside, and she points to the room off to our left. “It functions like an old-fashioned one-room schoolhouse. Two classrooms. This is for the younger kids, ages six through nine.” She points to the right. “And this one is for the older kids, ten through thirteen.”
“How old are the triplets?” I ask.
“Thirteen. They will go to Eastbrooke Academy—the boarding school where Riley and I first met—next fall. Time goes by so fast.”
“Danny’s daughter is a freshman. She seems to like me, but I think parenting a teen is going to be difficult.”
“Parenting at any age isn’t easy, but it’s fun. You just treat your children with respect and teach them to be respectful of others. If you can do that, they seem to turn out pretty good.” She laughs. “At least, so far.”
We hear a little commotion.
“Let’s see what’s going on upstairs.”
“Mommy!” An adorable boy runs up to her.
She gives him hugs and kisses and says, “This is our youngest, Ashton. He’s nine.”
There are five children of various ages sitting at a table, working on art projects. Three are painting, one is sketching with charcoal, another is using colored pencils. In the corner, a teen girl is working diligently on a potter’s wheel, and a teen boy is lying in a beanbag, plucking strings on a guitar.
“You’re here,” the guitar player says. “Does that mean romper room is over, and I can get out of here? Paisley can watch them.”
“’Fraid not. I’d like to introduce you to Jennifer Edwards. Jennifer, this is our oldest son, Asher.”
“What’s up?” he says, not bothering to get out of the beanbag.
I can tell Keatyn is about to scold him for it but the painters yell out, “Aunt Kiki! Look at what we’re making!”
After we see all the kids’ projects and I’m introduced to everyone but the potter, Keatyn says, “Why don’t you all start cleaning up? Asher, make sure you get everyone home, and then you are free.”
“It’s amazing that you set up a space just for them. That you’ve been able to keep them close.”
“Jennifer, if you truly want it all, you can have it. You just have to be flexible. Think out of the box. Figure out how to make it work. Trust me, it’s worth it. I’ve never been happier in my life or more fulfilled. On the flip side, it’s also okay to not want it all.”
She points at the girl still working on the potter’s wheel. “That’s Knox and Katie’s daughter, Paisley. I can tell she’s in the zone and don’t want to interrupt her. She’s a very talented artist. Katie chose to give up her teaching career to come live here, but in the process, she achieved her lifelong dream of being a published children’s author. She has, like, fourteen books out now. And Riley’s wife, Ariela, had built up a big business, planning celebrity events. After their baby was born, she decided it was just too much. She’s still doing what she loves, but she chooses only a select few events. And she sometimes pitches in on events that take place here at the vineyard.” She leads me down the stairs. “When will Danny’s divorce be final?”
“They signed their divorce agreement and filed with the court this week. His wife is engaged already. She was having an affair with her plastic surgeon.”
“I didn’t really know her, but I never cared much for his wife,” Keatyn says. “She was—”
“A bitch?” I ask.
“I was going to say entitled. Like the world owed her something. Danny is such an upstanding guy. We’ve worked with him over the years through our Moon Wish charity wine. Even when we weren’t donating to his foundation, he was always willing to do what he could to help. I’ll never forget it even though it was so long ago.
“There was this girl I met through the Dream Wish foundation. Her dream was to spend a day with my little sister, actress Gracelyn Stevens, and Gracie asked me to join her on the set in St. Louis as an extra surprise for her family. When they showed up, her little brother was wearing one of Danny’s jerseys. I thought it was cute, so I texted Danny a photo and told him the situation. He asked how long they would be there, and then he dropped everything and flew down to meet them. The family had previously lived in Kansas and were all huge fans but moved to Houston for their daughter’s treatments. The following week, Danny sent a plane and flew them up to a game, where they were able to go on the field with the team during warm-ups and then were hosted in a nice, warm skybox with the team owner. And if that wasn’t enough, he sent them to Disney World for Christmas.” She lowers her voice a notch and looks down. “He also attended the girl’s funeral when she passed away a few months later.”
“That’s incredible,” I sputter out, tears dripping down my face, so touched by Danny’s compassion. “He’s way too good for me, isn’t he?”
“And I was thinking just the opposite,” Keatyn says. “I was thinking you’d be way too perfect together. If I recall, you did something similar for a fan.”
“That was a long time ago. I’ve changed.”
“The Jennifer I know would still do it,” she says, wrapping her arm around my neck. “Don’t let the way Troy treated you take away your self-confidence. You are awesome, and you deserve better.”
“Danny got full custody of their kids,” I counter.
“And you’ve always wanted kids. Now, you can have an instant family with no stretch marks.”
“Danny has this tattoo on his arm.” I point to the inside of my own elbow. “He started up here with the dates of his children’s birthdays, thinking he’d have a lot of kids. But then his wife wanted to stop at two. And it made me sad for him. Like, for that empty space.”
“And maybe you’re just the one to help him fill it.”
“Am I being crazy? Things are so complicated.”
“No, they’re not. They are much less complicated than when you first met him. And you know it. You’re just scared.”
“Probably. What was that line from your movie? ‘It doesn’t matter where you’ve been; what matters is where you end up.’ Do you believe that?”
“Not only do I believe it, but I’m also living proof of it. And I think you will be, too.” We get back in the golf cart. “We’d better go check on your car.”
“I want to go back,” I blurt out.
“Right now?”
“Yeah. Could I leave the car here? I need to fly back to LA and find a house.”
“If you don’t mind a few miles put on it while you’re gone, I’m sure Riley would gladly watch it for you.”
I nod, finally knowing exactly what I have to do.
