I wake up in my favorite spot, my face on Chase’s chest. I look up at him, seeing he’s already awake.
“How long have you been up?”
“A while. I’ve been thinking about last night.”
“About how I took you in my—”
“No, Dani. I mean, that was … something I very much enjoyed, but I meant, before that. I know we agreed not to tell our parents until we got home, but we almost got caught the last two nights in a row. Your dad, despite his wild youth, has very traditional values, particularly regarding you, his baby girl. If he thought we were just hooking up, he would not be happy with me. At all. And I respect your dad. He’s, well, it’s almost like I was blessed with two fathers in a way. The funny thing is, he tells me to stay responsible, but at the same time, he says that I should allow myself to enjoy the spoils of my success.”
“Spoils?” I ask. I’m still not fully awake yet, and I’m not sure I want to get into all this right now. Or at least, not until a decent hour. Like, noon maybe? “It’s not like you’re earning money, playing football yet.”
“He means, girls, Dani. He doesn’t understand why I’m not dating. My point is, I’d rather be a man, go to him and tell him we are dating, that you’re my best friend, that I care about you and love you and all that.”
“You don’t have to ask for my hand just yet, Chase. I think that’s jumping the gun a little, don’t you?”
“That’s not what I would do. I just think it would be better for him to know I’m serious about you than him thinking I’m using you.”
“Oh,” I say, finally understanding. Then, I smile and run my finger across his bare chest. “Maybe I’m just using you.”
He grabs my hand and stops it from moving. “I’m serious about this.”
I let out a little sigh. “Okay then. We update the plan. We’ll be more careful while we’re here, and when we get home, you can tell my dad you want to date me. Actually, you should tell him that we are dating.”
“Deal,” he says, and then he leans down and kisses the top of my boob. “Now, about last night.”
“What about it?” I say in a flirty, high-pitched voice.
“I’m amenable for that sort of thing to happen anytime. Well, actually, all the time works for me.” He gives me a big grin.
“You’re crazy.”
“Crazy in love,” he says, turning over on his side and facing me.
“Clearly, that’s your”—I point down—“talking.”
“Nah,” he says sweetly. “It’s all of me.”
He gets up and tosses me the workout clothes I brought down here yesterday, so we could spend the night together, and I wouldn’t have to risk a walk of shame home in last night’s dress.
“Let me guess. You’re hungry.”
He nods as his stomach growls. “Starving actually. But you can stay here if you want. I need to lift hard today, so I’ll be a while.”
It’s a tough decision. Get up and watch Chase’s muscles pump and flex or lie in his bed until he gets back.
I snuggle up in the covers and close my eyes for a second.
He kisses me on the forehead. “Get dressed. Then, you can go back to sleep. Oh, and everyone is going to the lazy river today to hang out and have lunch. Why don’t I just meet you there?”
“Okay.”
He goes and gets dressed, and then he comes back out and dives back in the bed. “You’re not dressed yet. Is that a hint that you don’t want me to leave?”
I roll my eyes, slip on my clothes, and plop my head back down on the pillow.
But then I think about dancing last night.
“Have you ever pictured your wedding?” I ask him.
“Have you?” he says, sitting back on the side of the bed.
“Apparently, your parents are thinking about renewing their vows. I saw some of the bridal magazines your mom has. Those things are thick, and she had, like, ten of them.”
“I saw,” he says. “Might have even flipped through a few.”
“Do you remember when I used to make you dress up and had Damon marry us?”
“Yeah. You had to bribe him with candy.”
I let out a laugh. “I forgot about that! He was obsessed with Starbursts, and Mom didn’t want him to eat them because he would leave the wrappers all over the house. I used to get Dad to buy them for me, and I’d hide them in my room.”
Chase leans closer to me, his chest touching mine, setting off sparks all over my body. “You never had to bribe me. Know why?”
I shake my head and stare at his long eyelashes and high cheekbones.
“Because you didn’t need to. My reward was the kiss at the end.” He laughs, and his mouth grazes my cheek as he whispers in my ear, “Truth—not only did he get Starbursts from you, but I also had to sneak him cookies afterward. Otherwise, he wouldn’t have done it.”
I place a kiss on his lips. “That’s why you have always been the sweetest boy ever.”
He takes off, and I drop my head to the pillow, but I can’t seem to go back to sleep.
I’m lying out in the sun, sprawled out on a chaise, when Chase meets us. Everyone is here today at the resort’s lazy river.
We’re all tired.
Haley is fighting a hangover, and Damon isn’t far behind her.
Chase picks up Weston and carries her into the pool with him.
“I swear, he’s going to be the best dad,” Jennifer says, sitting down next to me. She’s watching as Chase manages to hang on to Weston while tossing his little brothers around on their tubes and sending them floating down the river.
“Yeah, probably,” I say noncommittally. “I think I’ll go join them.”
Phillip’s mom floats around on a raft and takes Weston from Chase, so we grab a couple tubes and start floating, but when we get around the corner, where the waterfall is, he knocks me off the tube and drags me over to the waterfall and then behind it.
His lips quickly find mine, and his hands roam all across the back of my bikini bottoms.
“I can’t wait to go home,” he says.
“Why?” I ask. I’d love nothing more than to just stay here forever.
“So I can kiss you whenever I want and not worry about getting caught,” he says, his lips moving to my neck.
“That will be nice. Um, Chase, I, um … well, I noticed on the activity board that tomorrow is the day.”
“The day?” he asks, looking at me with confusion.
“Kelsey day.”
“Oh, that,” he says, not giving me any more. He just goes back to kissing my neck.
“Yeah, that,” I say firmly.
“What about it?” he murmurs.
“What about it?! How am I supposed to act? She likes you. And we’re together, Chase. And I’m feeling crazy. I don’t want you to be alone with her, but I can’t say anything because no one knows we’re together. Are you going to tell her?”
“I mean, we were sort of talking, and yes, I know she kinda likes me, but it doesn’t matter because I like you.” He kisses my nose and smiles at me.
“Chase.”
“What?”
“What are we going to do?!”
“Nothing.” He dunks himself under the falling water, grabs a tube, and floats away, waving at me as he does.
I leap on a tube on my stomach and kick my feet, trying to catch up to him. I feel like there is fire in my eyes—and no, not a robe fire that smolders and smokes. I’m talking flames shooting into the sky. Ones that are currently, rapidly carving up my heart.
“Nothing is the wrong answer,” I say when I finally catch up to him.
He gives me a peck on the cheek. “Nothing is the right answer because she’s not coming. I told her we had family plans and it wouldn’t work.”
“And she was okay with that?”
“I mean, she sounded a little disappointed, but she understood, I think. She’s down here with her family, too.”
“And that’s it?”
“That’s it.”
I jump on his tube and try to take him down under the water. “I hate you.”
“No, you don’t,” he says with a grin, peeling me off him. He spins around, so we’re face-to-face. “You can’t. Because I love you.”
He gives me another peck, and then he’s gone with the current and blowing me a kiss from down the river.
I flip him off.
He laughs and then forms a heart with his hands.
And I can’t help but smile at him.
I take a cleansing breath and sigh with relief.
He told her not to come because of me. Because he wants me.
Part of me wants to jump up and down and cheer, Go, Dani. Go, Dani. It’s your birthday.
Instead, I grab a tube, plop down on it, and float slowly down the river, thinking about how lucky I am.
A couple hours later, my dad rounds us all up and tells us it’s time to go back to the house.
He’s being all dramatic about us having to go now and barks out an order when Damon tells him to chill out because he’s not ready to go yet.
But when we get home, we see why. The backyard is full of artillery—of the water-gun type. I don’t think I’ve ever seen so many different types of water guns. From itty-bitty squirt guns to some sort of water cannons.
“Sweet,” Damon says, giving Dad a bro-hug, pat-on-the-back thing.
“Ryder, Madden, go get the dogs out of their kennels. They’re gonna wanna be in on this,” Phillip says.
The boys do as they were told, quickly flying back out of the house with the dogs barking behind them. The dogs pee and then start sniffing the area around the guns, knowing something’s up.
Angel picks up one of the smaller guns and takes off like a black streak, running circles around Winger, stopping to put her butt up in the air and let out a playful growl.
My dad rolls his eyes.
“All right, Ryder, Madden, you are our team captains for today’s fun water battle,” Dad says.
The boys jump up and down, cheering, and then start taunting each other about who is going to win.
“Madden, you’re the youngest, so you choose first,” Papa says.
“I pick Chase!” he says. Clearly, he idolizes his big brother.
“And I pick Uncle Danny!” Ryder says.
“And I want my mom!” Madden counters.
Jadyn rushes to his side, picks up the little chunk, and gives him a kiss.
Which he swats away and goes, “Ah, Mom.”
“Why’d you pick me then?” she asks.
“Because you’re like a general and organize everything.”
Valid point, I think.
The grandmas opt out, offering to put the babies down for a nap instead. But the grandpas are committed.
The team choosing continues.
Madden seems to go for youth over wisdom, adding Chase, Damon, Jennifer, and Haley to his side.
Ryder follows up with his dad, me, Grandpa Mac, and Papa.
When the teams are chosen, Ryder says, “What about the dogs?”
“I choose Angel,” Madden shouts, calling the pup over and petting her.
“And I get Winger,” Ryder says, a smile on his face.
“All right, rules of the game,” my dad says. “Each team has an equal amount of weapons. The goal is to get the other team’s flag.” Dad points to a red flag tied to the dock and then to a blue flag tied to a pool chaise. “You’ll have to defend your position while advancing. And if you run out of ammo or water before capturing the flag, then you lose. Ryder, you’re the blue team. Madden, red.” He looks at his watch. “We’ll have five minutes to plan our team strategy, and then it’s go time!”
My team quickly huddles up.
“What do ya think, Captain Ryder?” I ask. “We’ve got to get that red flag before they get our blue one.”
“I have a plan,” Ryder says, and dang it if I’m not impressed with the little guy. Not that he’s that little anymore. At eleven, he’s almost as tall as me.
Our plan is a straightforward attack. All of us line up, leaving Dad and Phillip behind to guard our flag. We’re all loaded up with our choice of water guns, and we have moved our horde back near our flag. If we have to, we’ll make our final stand there.
“Look, they’ve got all the wimps up front,” Damon says, taunting us. “This will be easy.” He high-fives Jennifer, and based on their stance, their plan involves just trying to run through to capture the flag.
In fact, they try it but are quickly pushed back by the dads with the water cannons.
And really, at the beginning, most of us aren’t as worried about the flags and more concerned with shooting each other with water.
I was chosen as the dog’s guard. So, I have a hot-pink water gun, styled after a mini cannon—the kind in video games that shoots off a stand. I have capsules filled with water slung across my shoulder and down in front of my chest and into the gun. I’m feeling a bit badass.
Chase runs toward me and takes aim, but I duck and then shoot him in the stomach with a water bullet, which hits hard and then explodes like a water balloon, drenching his shirt. He slides across the ground, feet forward—the classic quarterback slide that signals that you can’t tackle him.
“Cheater,” I say, shooting him again.
I’m grinning and feeling good about my skills when water comes splashing down on my head. I turn and shoot, finding Jennifer behind me with an empty bucket in her hands. She pulls a teeny yellow gun out of the back of her shorts and squirts me with a little stream of water before it’s empty. She tosses it on the ground before running back to their cache.
We’re all drenched and getting low on water when Ryder sounds the signal—meaning he lets out a massive, forced burp. The other team laughs, but I know what to do.
I pick up a spent water grenade. It’s a water balloon–type thing, but it’s coated in hard plastic and more like a ball. I waggle it in front of Winger and then toss it to Ryder, who has worked his way down close to the dock. He has to go through their line of defense, run out onto the dock, and grab the flag for us to win.
Ryder catches the ball, but Winger does exactly as he said she would. She goes flying toward him, eager for him to throw it in the lake for her to fetch.
She’s jumping around him, all excited. He pats her on the head as the rest of us advance, guns ready to fire. The other team is watching us. Not Ryder. They think he’s busy dealing with the dog and not a threat. But then he throws the ball over the dock and out into the lake.
Winger barrels after it, his eyes on nothing other than his goal. The dog takes out a stack of water balloons in the process, popping them all at once. Ryder takes off after him, running through the other team’s defense.
When Winger flies through the air, jumping off the dock, Ryder does the same, grabbing the red flag in the process as he leaps into the air and screams, “Woohoo!” all the way into the water.
When he and Winger run out of the lake and onto the beach, he’s rubbing her head and telling her what a good girl she is. The dog is licking his face, giving him kisses.
“I think that’s cheating,” someone behind me says.
“No, it’s not,” Ryder argues. “That’s why we each got one of the pups on our team!”
“That was fun,” I say to Haley.
“And I’m sure I look like a drowned rat,” she comments. “My grandpa and I were having a water war. I think he won.”
Chase comes up and wraps his arm around his sister, and Damon wraps his arm around me, the four of us smiling and soaked, when Jadyn says, “Smile,” and takes our picture.
“Remind me to burn those photos,” Haley whispers to Chase, who starts laughing, causing us all to laugh. And I know the picture will be one of my favorites.
The four of us have gotten closer on this trip, Haley moving up into the fold. I look at Ryder, knowing he’s not far behind. And it makes me a little sad. To think of growing up.
“Any chance we might get to come back here next year, Auntie Jay?” I ask her while we’re cleaning up.
She tilts her head at me and then puts her hand over her chest. “Really? You’d want to come back?”
“Yeah. Haley and I were just talking about it.”
This causes her eyes to practically bug out. “My Haley?” she says with a laugh. “Who came here under protest?”
I smile. “Yeah, your Haley.”
She looks at everyone in the yard, three generations of Mackenzies and Diamonds, and it brings a tear to her eye. “That’s what I was hoping for.”
She wipes her face and pulls me into a hug. And I can’t help but tear up, too.
Until she says, “What really happened with the robe?”
We go sit on the dock, just the two of us.
She grabs a beer from a nearby cooler and says, “Relationship stuff can be scary. Don’t you think?”
“Yeah, you don’t know who to trust.”
“There’s that. But there’s more. Had my parents not passed away, had I not been so afraid I’d lose Phillip—I was a mess. But grief, trauma, even something like your parents’ divorce can affect your decisions.”
“Are you talking about Matt?”
“I don’t know,” she says with a grin. “Am I?”
“Fine. If it wasn’t for the divorce, I might not have chosen a guy like him,” I admit.
“And do you regret it?”
“Absolutely.”
“The thing is, Dani, you probably shouldn’t. He taught you a valuable lesson. One that I learned at the party that night with Jake.”
“What was that?”
“Well, the whole dating process is supposed to be about figuring out the kind of guy you should be with long-term. Sometimes, you instantly know a guy isn’t right for you. Sometimes, it takes longer. And it doesn’t mean that guy is a bad guy or he wouldn’t make a good partner. Take Nicky, for example.”
“You dated him, too? Macy, his wife, was one of your sorority sisters, right?”
“Yes, but they didn’t get together until my wedding. Anyway, we went on two or three dates. It was college. And I was … how can I explain this? In my grief, I took something my parents had taught me about life and took it to an extreme rather than grieving. Other than after the funeral, I never allowed myself to cry. I thought I had to be strong for them.”
“What was the lesson they taught you?”
“To enjoy life. To stop and smell the roses,” she says.
“And by taking that to the extreme, you did what?”
“I really enjoyed college life. I worked hard, studied hard, and got good grades, but I played just as hard. Some girls, like your mother, thought I was slutty. And I hate that word. Really, it should be struck from the language. Your sexual choices are yours alone, and we shouldn’t make judgments on a girl, based on sex.
“I mean, just because I partied and knew a lot of guys, flirted with a lot of guys, kissed a whole lot of guys, that didn’t mean I was having sex with them. And even if I had, if I was responsible emotionally and physically, then it’s no one else’s business.
“We’re fighting this stereotype of the virgin bride. Back then, girls married as soon as they had their period. You got yours in the sixth grade. In the olden days, that would have meant you were a woman. Of course, most girls are virgins then. Now, we get married at much older ages. We date. We learn that if we don’t have chemistry and love for a guy, we probably shouldn’t marry them.
“Sorry, I’ll get off my soapbox, but I heard Haley say that word to her friend the other day about a girl who had kissed two guys in the same week.”
“You set her straight?” I ask with a chuckle.
“I hope so.”
“So, you, um, dated a lot of guys in college?”
“You know how your brother, Chase, and you are best friends? And how you know all the guys because of them?”
“Yeah.”
“And your friends are sometimes jealous because they don’t get to be friends with all the guys like that? And it’s not that it makes you different or special; in fact, sometimes, it can make it worse.” She rolls her eyes. “In my case anyway.”
“Because the guys knew they couldn’t mess with you?”
“Exactly. Your father forbid anyone on the football team from dating me. Phillip’s fraternity, basically the same thing.”
“Four years of college, and you never kissed a football player? Not even on the sly?”
“I kissed two. One was Nicky. He and I hit it off right away. I literally adore Nick. Just saying his name brings a smile to my face.”
“Did you sleep with him? Is that weird now?”
“We did not. We were on our third date. Our friendship and relationship were fueled by alcohol. Still is. Nick has this sneaky way of egging me on that always seems to end in a hangover. We started our night at the bar.”
“The infamous Keggers?”
“Yep. In retrospect, I shouldn’t have kept feeding him shots. He threw up the second we got back to his place. I cleaned up his puke, and we bonded for life over it. After that, we were just … well, we’ve never really talked about it. We’ve just stayed friends.”
“Who was the second guy?”
“Your dad.”
My eyes go wide in surprise. “You kissed in college, too?”
“Yeah, but only during football season. Usually only after a loss, which for your dad was few and far between.”
“And you never thought about taking it further again?”
“Once. We lived together. We had a moment where we were like, We should just do it. But then Phillip walked in, and it ruined the moment. We never spoke of it again.”
“And what about my mom?” I have to ask.
“Your mom had her life all mapped out. She wanted to go to medical school and marry a doctor.”
“Yeah, but did she date a lot of guys?”
“Honestly, she thought I was kind of slutty because I flirted with and was friends with so many guys, but then we got to be friends, and she realized the truth.”
“And why did you wait so long to kiss Phillip?”
“Because I knew it would mean something … more, I guess. I knew that I loved him in a different way than I loved your dad. I was just really afraid of messing it up. I’d messed up all my other relationships.”
“But wasn’t that ’cause you always turned to Phillip?”
“Yes.”
“I always turn to Chase,” I admit. “Sometimes, I think he’s a way better friend to me than I am to him.”
“Do you get mad at him when he rescues you?”
“Yeah, especially that night when he came to the party. Did my dad ever rescue you?”
“Not in the same way. One time, I had a flat tire, and he showed up, like, thirty minutes later, but Phillip would drop everything, run out, and get to me as fast as he could. Even if he was on a date.”
“So, his girlfriends probably didn’t like you much.”
“That’s a true statement. All our friends thought Phillip and I had been intimate a lot because we acted that way, but we just hadn’t done that yet.”
“And once you did?”
“I never wanted to be with anyone else. So, back to the bathroom,” she says.
“We’ve been considering taking our relationship to something as more than friends,” I say, trying to be politically correct without lying outright.
“And you were discussing that in your bathroom?”
“Yes. It’s a difficult situation. He’s younger than me. And although I love him and we’re best friends, it’s scary to cross certain lines.”
“Once you do, it’s hard to go back,” she says in understanding.
“Exactly. Which is what we have been discussing. If we want more. If we want to risk it.”
She nods. “That is tricky.”
“Chase told me when we were younger that I should love with my heart, not my head.”
Jadyn nods. “He learned that from me. I might not always have taken my own advice, growing up, but it’s my wish for him that he does. Chase and I are lucky to be here. Even now, almost sixteen years later, I wake up every morning and feel thankful that we are. I kept a journal when I was pregnant with him. I won’t give it to him until he’s ready to have his first child, but my last entry has always stuck with me.”
“What did it say?” I ask, rapt with attention.
“That he and I could have had a very different outcome. That we’re both lucky to be alive. And that I knew he was destined for greatness. That I didn’t know what he would do or be, but I knew it as surely as I could feel my own heartbeat. And I promised to do everything I could to prepare him for it.”
“Greatness, like being a quarterback, playing pro ball?”
She shakes her head. “Greatness doesn’t necessarily mean that you are famous. Or rich. Greatness means you treat people well. You’re kind. You use your given talents to the best of your abilities. And you love fiercely.” She gets tears in her eyes. “And no freaking out. You and Chase have a special bond. I just hope that if you explore that avenue, you do so with respect for that bond. Because whether you end up as former lovers or an old married couple doesn’t really matter. What does is that you stay friends.”
“Do you think my dad would say the same thing?”
She laughs. “Your dad might freak a little if you start dating, but he’ll get over it.”
