I was so exhausted from the lazy river and water-gun fight yesterday that by the time we ate dinner and watched the sunset, I was ready for bed.
Chase came up to my room with me, kissed me, and tucked me into bed.
I slept like a freaking rock.
I wake up with a start, my hand going to the dream ring on my finger, seeing that I’m in my bed and that the nightmare I just had wasn’t real.
Chase and I were at the resort gym, working out, when Kelsey showed up. She acted like it was a big surprise that they were at the same place at the same time, but I knew better. Particularly when she started flirting with him. And he acted like I wasn’t even there.
And when I asked him what we were going to do, he said, “Nothing,” just like he had done yesterday in the pool.
Then, he flexed both biceps, and I had to stand there and watch her squeeze them while she told him what an amazing quarterback he would be this year. Then, she said something about them dating, and he said something about him being younger. And then I said something about how she was going to get crap about it. And she told me she didn’t care. And then she kissed him. And they were standing there, making out in front of me.
That was when I stormed off, crying.
I never really know what my dreams are supposed to mean. Obviously, I am glad she’s not coming today, but I think the thing that upset me most about the dream was that Chase was kissing her back.
It’s been four days since we slept together.
And I’m a little confused, honestly.
I love Chase. I do. What I don’t know is if it’s a friends who love each other kind of love, that forever kind of love, or just teen hormones between friends who are attracted to each other.
I mean, how do you know? I know I love him. He’s my best friend. I’ve always loved him. Sleeping together has definitely made me feel more. More feelings. More emotions.
Am I in love with him?
And how am I supposed to know?
I sigh, wishing I had my phone so I could look it up, but then I remember there are magazines on the side table, next to the reading chair. I hop out of bed, grab the stack, and sit back on my bed. There is a combination of fashion and teen magazines. I flip through them, reading the cover headlines.
On the second one from the bottom, I read, Are you in love?
I pull that magazine out and find an article for girls my age. I skim through the introduction, where it talks about the things I was just wondering. But it’s not super helpful. It says that love can happen anytime. It can be an instant love at first sight kind of thing or a really slow burn—the kind of love that simmers for years until it boils over—or anything in between. It briefly discusses sex, mentioning that a lot of girls confuse the emotions they feel during it as love. Then, it gets to the good part.
The checklist.
1. Are you addicted to him? It talks about how love can change your brain. How, in the early part of a relationship, there is actually heightened neural activity, and how you obsess over the person. Which is kind of interesting.
Yes.
2. Do you want your family to like him?
Yes.
3. Do you want your friends to like him?
Yes.
4. Do you miss him when you aren’t together?
Oh my gosh, yes.
5. Do you feel jealous?
Apparently.
6. Do you like him as a person?
Very much so.
Hmm.
Chase hasn’t asked me to be his girlfriend or anything, but he says he loves me and he wants us to date. We’re supposed to tell our families as soon as we get home.
Although I’m pretty sure his mom knows something is going on between us.
The question is, what do we tell everyone else? And when?
With Matt, it wasn’t an issue. We started talking. Went on some dates. He asked me to be his girlfriend. My friends were happy for me.
And maybe that’s what we need to do. Take things slow.
Can you take things slow when you’ve already had sex?
There’s nothing about that in any of the magazines, so I toss them on the nightstand and get ready for the day.
I go downstairs and have breakfast with most of the family. Damon and Chase make protein shakes and take my dad with them up to the gym while the rest of us are sitting on the screened porch, eating Grandma Mac’s homemade caramel rolls with honey-baked ham, cheesy potatoes, and fruit. It’s what the Mackenzies usually have for Christmas morning, and it’s a special treat.
Just as everyone is finished, my dad and the boys return, happily filling up their plates as most everyone but Phillip and me head outside.
“Hey, Dad,” Damon says, sitting down next to me with a plate piled high. “Is it okay if we have some friends come over? They rented wave runners, and we thought we could take one of the boats out and have a picnic.”
“To the Naked Cove?” my dad astutely asks.
“I don’t recall them mentioning that specific cove, but if that’s where they want to picnic, I’m all for it.”
My dad chuckles. If I had said that, he would have been appalled.
“They want to go to the cliffs, too,” Chase says.
“Those are so much fun!” my dad says. “Maybe we should join you. I haven’t gotten to do that for years because of my contract. Couldn’t risk getting hurt. There’s a swing near there that’s fun, too. Remember, Phillip?”
“I do,” he says, but then he turns to his son. “I’m not sure about you cliff jumping.”
“I’m not sure about it either,” Chase says, “but I’d like to go watch everyone else go splat.”
“No drinking, obviously,” my dad says.
“We’re okay with that,” Damon replies, acting like the thought never crossed his mind.
My dad rolls his eyes. “You can go, but I expect that you will be very careful in the boat, and I’d prefer only Chase drive if someone decides to ski.”
“Cool,” Damon says. “We aren’t taking anything with us other than food.”
“And don’t forget, tomorrow, we have a family activity planned,” Phillip adds.
“We know,” Haley says. “And we’ll be back in time to make dinner. It’s our night.”
“What are you making?” Phillip asks her. “How are you going to top the nacho table?”
“It’s a secret,” Damon says.
My dad clears his plate and puts his dish in the dishwasher, and then he and Phillip go down to the dock.
“What are we making tonight?” I ask Haley.
“It’s make-your-own-pizza night! The brilliant part is, when the grandmas cooked, I sweet-talked them into making extra. We have leftover chicken, ground beef, Canadian bacon, and sausage for the meat. Mimi’s red sauce and Grandma Mac’s white sauce. And when she was making the rolls this morning, she made the pizza dough. It will proof all afternoon. Cheese and cut-up veggies are in the fridge. We just have to put everything out and then clean up.”
“Brilliant,” Damon says, giving her a fist bump. “Now, who’s ready to go see if there are naked girls at the Naked Cove?”
We get the boat loaded up with waters and sodas—no beer, and Dad and Phillip actually checked—and our picnic lunch. Once we are finished, Collin and Lauren are at the dock with their wave runners.
They hop on with them, leaving Chase and me alone in the boat.
It’s not too far to the Naked Cove. There are quite a few boats lined up, and maybe it’s because it’s the middle of the day during the week, but it seems to be mostly families. Kids are yelling and swimming about. Parents relaxing.
“I saw photos of this place on social media,” Damon says, looking irritated. “Where are all the hotties?”
“Right here,” Lauren says, giving him a pissed off look.
“I know that,” he says sweetly, “but you know even you were excited to see a cove full of naked people.”
“True,” she says. “It would have been fun to tell my friends about.”
“Hmm,” he says, nuzzling her neck. “Maybe we should go find a quiet cove and make it naked.”
She gives him a playful shove, and he pretends it was more, pushing himself backward and falling into the lake.
“You’re crazy,” she says, laughing and shaking her head.
“To The Cliffs then?” Haley asks.
Damon pulls himself back up onto the wave runner, revs the motor, yells, “Hang on!” and takes off.
The rest of us just follow.
“What do you think?” Chase says as he drops the anchor in front of The Cliffs.
Lauren and Damon are already climbing up the path leading to where you can jump off from. There are four other boats at this spot with people taking turns.
“I’m sure standing there, looking down, is a little scary, but once you jump, I bet it’s a rush and lots of fun. Are you really not going to do it?”
“Nah. Not worth getting hurt over. But I thought I would video you all.” He pulls me up off my seat and into his arms and gives me the kind of kiss that makes me not want to go anywhere.
“Damon’s up,” Haley yells to us from the wave runner she’s sitting on with Collin. They have it tied up to the boat.
Chase grabs the camera and hands it to her.
“I’m busy,” he says, pulling me back to his lips.
But we stop kissing and turn our heads when we hear the screams.
Damon and Lauren must have leaped off the cliff together and are now screaming the entire way down to the water. There’s a big splat, and then they both come back up, Damon pumping his fist in the air like he just conquered the world.
“That looks fun,” Haley says to me. “Want to hold hands and go together?”
“Yes,” I say, giving Chase a final kiss before getting into the water.
“Just remember, both of you,” Chase says, “don’t run and jump. It will screw up your landing. Take a hop out off the cliff and then try to hit the water like a toothpick. Point your toes and make sure your body is straight. I read, for girls, it can be a good idea, too, to cross your arms across your chest.”
“Got it, Dad,” Haley says, rolling her eyes.
We swim over to the beach, make the climb, and hold hands, staring down at the water.
“This is nuts,” she says.
“It’s exhilarating, being up here though,” I counter.
“Just go already!” some little kid says from behind us.
I look at Haley and nod my head.
She nods back and says, “On three. One. Two. Three!!!”
We leap out together and fall for what feels like both forever and a second. Moments later, we hit the water, go under, and then swim up to the surface.
Chase is cheering for us from the boat.
Actually, that’s not exactly right. He’s yelling something from the boat.
And the first thing that crosses my mind is, Shark. Which is a stupid thought because I don’t think they live in lakes.
I turn to Haley and realize what’s wrong.
“Um, Haley, you might want to go back under the water a little. You seem to have lost your top.”
“Oh. My. Gosh,” she says, covering herself. “I’m going to DIE!”
“No, you’re not,” I say. “They’re just boobs.”
“Little kids are whistling at me,” she says, mortified.
“Probably the most exciting thing they have seen on their vacation. They’ll have something to go home and tell their friends.”
She laughs just as her bikini top floats to the surface next to us. She grabs it and keeps herself covered as we swim back to the boat.
“That’s why I told you to cover your chest,” Chase says, going all big brother on her.
But Damon is dying laughing. Like, I think those are tears in his eyes, not just lake water. And Collin just has a goofy grin on his face.
Haley swims behind the boat, getting her top back on in privacy.
When she swims back around and sits on the boat deck, Damon goes, “Well, it’s official, Hay Girl. We’re renaming this place The Naked Cliffs.”
“Shut up,” she says with a laugh.
“Don’t be embarrassed,” Damon says. “You looked good.”
“Damon!” Chase says.
“Oh, come on, bro. They’re just boobs,” he says back.
And I can’t help but laugh.
We do a bunch more jumps. Then, everyone gets in the boat, and we eat our picnic lunch.
Swimming to the cliffs, climbing up the path, jumping and swimming back to the boat, and then doing it over and over again means that my amazing breakfast is long gone.
I sit between Chase’s legs, lean back against his chest, and relax. His hand slides gently down my arm, and that, combined with the warm sun on my face, makes me feel like I just might be in heaven.
“I say we chill here for a while, get some sun, and then jump a few more times before we go back,” I offer.
“Sounds like a plan, sis,” Damon says, agreeing with me for the first time in possibly ever.
Of course, Lauren is sitting on his lap, and he looks quite happy about it. But a few minutes later, after whispering to her, he tells us that they are going to explore the rest of the cove.
As soon as they take off on the wave runner, Chase says, “I bet that’s not all they are going to explore.”
“Do you think they are going off by themselves to—” I start to say.
“Scare some fish?” he says with a laugh. “Most definitely. Although they won’t be in the water if they find the right place.”
“What do you mean?”
“Your brother has a bucket list of sorts,” he says.
“A sexual bucket list,” Haley adds. “And sex on a wave runner is on it.”
“Sounds fun,” Collin says to her with a wry grin.
I can feel Chase’s chest puff out against my back, and I can’t help but laugh. Haley narrows her eyes at him in warning, so he doesn’t say anything, but I can tell it’s killing him. Well, at least it is until I turn around and distract him with my lips.
I’m not sure how long we’ve been kissing or exactly when we went from me leaning against him to me lying on top of him, sprawled across the sun deck, but I don’t really care. Kissing Chase is practically perfection.
The sound of my brother’s hoots and hollers draws our attention, causing us to both look up over the side of the boat.
“Time for more jumping!” he says, sliding the wave runner in next to us.
“Where are Haley and Collin?” Chase asks.
“They probably took over our spot back in the cove,” Damon says with a grin, egging Chase on.
But then I glance to my right and see that they have a couple of noodles and are floating in the water, holding hands and chatting.
“You going to jump some more?” Chase asks me.
“Yeah, probably just one more time though. It’s a trek up there.”
“It looks like it.”
“And I think I’ll go by myself once. Take lots of pictures of me, okay?”
“Do you want pictures or video?”
“Hmm. I guess video. That way, I can just pull a still shot out of it if there’s something good.”
He squeezes my waist. “With you, everything is good.”
I blush and roll my eyes at him. “Be good.”
“That’s three goods in a row,” he teases. “And just so you know, I plan to be—tonight.”
“What are we going to do tonight?”
“I think we need our own bucket list. And we should start tonight by skinny-dipping.”
I make my way back up the cliff with Damon, Lauren, and Collin. Haley decided she has had enough and is in the boat with Chase, letting him take still photos while she videos.
“You want to go first?” Collin says to me.
“Yeah, sure,” I say.
I stand on the edge and look down. For some reason, it seems even farther than the other times I was up here. Either way, there’s only one way down—well, two, but I’m not doing the walk of shame back down the trail.
I move to jump, but my foot slides, and I end up sort of just stepping off the edge instead.
I lean my head down to make sure I’m not too close to the edge, and the next thing I know, I’m hitting the water.
Hard.
Harder than the other times.
And it kind of hurts.
I feel a little stunned when I rise to the surface, but quickly I’m being pulled into a pair of strong arms, a life jacket is put under me, and I’m being swam back to the boat.
“Holy crap!” I hear a girl from a neighboring boat say. “Did you see that guy? He dropped the camera, grabbed a life jacket, dived into the water, and rescued her. It was so hot.”
And it takes me a second to realize they are talking about me.
Well, Chase actually.
Wait. Did I need to be rescued?
I shake my head a little as Chase helps me onto the boat’s swim deck.
“Are you okay?” he asks.
I think he asked me this once before, and I think I maybe said yes.
“Uh, yeah, but I hurt a little.”
“I bet,” Haley says. “It looked like you sort of tripped off, and then your head hit the water.”
I put my hand up to my head. I do feel a little groggy.
Chase throws the life jacket into the boat and then hops out of the water and studies me.
“I’m okay,” I finally say with more assurance. “I am. I think it just sort of knocked the wind out of me.”
Chase stands up, picks me up off the deck, steps over the seat and into the boat, puts me in the passenger seat, and then stands in front of me, looking straight into my eyes.
“What’s your name?” he asks me.
“Devaney,” I reply, wondering why he would ask something so stupid.
“What day is it?”
“Uh, how am I supposed to know? We’re on vacation. But it’s our night to cook.”
“Who do you love?” he asks.
I stand up, push him down on the seat behind us, take a seat on his lap, straddle him, and wrap my arms around his neck.
“I thought I loved the boy next door,” I coo, “but then I got rescued by this hot guy, and I kind of want him.” I push my hips toward him, so he gets the message.
“Here?” he says.
“Now,” I say.
“Yeah, well, there are a lot of people around. With lots of cameras. I don’t think that’s a very good idea.”
“Darn.” I kiss him instead.
He grabs my chin, forcing me to hold still. “Look at me, Dani.”
I look into his warm eyes and smile.
“Your pupils are still dilated. I’m taking you back to the house.”
“I don’t think it’s close to here,” I say.
“What?”
“My house. It’s a long drive. And I don’t want to get sick.”
“How is she?” my brother asks as he gets into the boat with some girl whose name I can’t recall right now.
“She hit her forehead as she was going in.”
“Ah, I’m sure she’s fine. It didn’t look that bad.”
Chase makes a peace sign with his fingers but then points them in Damon’s direction, causing my brother to narrow his eyes and come to stand in front of me.
“Stand up,” Damon says.
I do. What’s with these boys ordering me around?
“Look at me.”
I do.
He holds one finger up in front of my nose and says, “Follow it with your eyes.” Then, he moves it to one side.
“Hmm.” He turns to Chase. “Concussion protocol.”
“Agreed,” Chase says.
The next thing I know, Chase has me sitting in the back of the boat, his arm around me, and Damon is driving really fast.
There’s all sorts of commotion when we pull up to the dock. I’m not sure why, but all of the adults are standing on it, seemingly waiting for us.
“The resort doctor is on his way,” my dad says.
“I don’t need a doctor.” I laugh. “I’m fine.”
Dad looks at my eyes and says, “Let’s get her into the boathouse.”
My dad and Jadyn are looking me over like I’m some freak show.
“How did she hit the water?” my dad asks Chase, who is sitting next to me, his arm tightly wrapped around my shoulders.
“I took a video,” Haley says. She runs off, and then she comes back with the camera and plays it for them.
“Ooh,” my dad says, leaning back and running his hand through his hair.
Jadyn is gently pushing my long bangs off my face.
“Really, my head doesn’t hurt.”
“I just saw the video, Dani,” she says. “Fortunately, most of your body hit the water first, but your forehead did, too. And Chase said you were acting a little dazed in the boat. That can be a sign of a concussion.”
She says concussion like it’s a bad word. And I guess, in my house, it kind of is. They are something football players are prone to with the hits they take, and even though they are continuously upgrading helmets to make players safer, they still happen. It used to be they would tell a player to shake it off and send them back out there. Now, it’s taken very seriously because they know the adverse effects they can cause later in life.
Mimi comes running in the room with a man in tow. He’s wearing golf attire, even still has on his cleats.
“I was on the back nine when you called,” he says, but he has a black doctor’s bag in his hand.
Everyone moves out of the way, except for Chase. He stays put, and based on the way he gives my shoulder a squeeze, I know no one is going to change his mind.
My dad tells the doctor what happened and then shows him the video.
The doctor gets a pen light out of his bag, shines it in my eyes, and tells me to focus on and follow the light. Then, he asks me a bunch of questions.
Pretty soon, he puts the light back in his bag and says, “You don’t have a concussion.”
“But her pupils were all dilated,” Chase argues.
“It was probably just the adrenaline,” the doctor says. “Anything else hurt?”
And it’s in that moment, I realize why I’ve felt so foggy.
I am in pain.
Just not from my head, like everyone thinks.
I hold up my wrist.
“Dani! It’s all swollen!” Chase says.
“And showing signs of bruising,” the doctor says. “Let me see that video again.”
He watches it one more time and then carefully feels my wrist and forearm, asking me to tell him if it hurts. I don’t have to though. I wince more than once.
“I think it’s probably just hyperextended, but let’s run you up to the resort and get an X-ray.”
“You have an X-ray machine here?” my dad asks.
“Yes, sir. When you are out in the sticks here, like we are, it’s a good idea. And it’s something that Mr. Tripp Archibald insisted on when he bought the place.”
An hour later, I’m back at the house with my wrist wrapped. The good news is that it’s just a sprain, and I’ve been given an anti-inflammatory painkiller.
The parents seem to have taken over pizza night, and even though I’m feeling well enough to make my own, my brother insists on doing it for me.
Which is almost as shocking as it is sweet.
Our dads man the pizza oven outside, getting everyone’s pizzas cooked to perfection.
“This is so good,” I say after savoring my favorite combination—white sauce on a thin crust with chicken, mushrooms, peppers, tomatoes, and a little Parmesan cheese.
“Try mine,” Chase says, holding a piece up to my mouth.
His is made with a thicker crust and not exactly an individual size. More like one that should feed a family. It’s covered with so much gooey, melted cheese that I can barely see any toppings under it. But I know what is probably on it. And as soon as I take a bite, I know I’m right. Chase’s pizza is my second favorite—red sauce with hamburger, Canadian bacon, olives, and a pound of cheese.
“It’s so good,” I tell him.
When we’re through eating, he says, “How are you feeling? You look tired.”
“I think the medicine is kicking in.” I can barely keep my eyes open.
“Do you want to watch a movie?”
“Honestly, I think I’m going to fall asleep fast. There’s a TV in my room. Could we watch one there?”
“Yeah,” he says. “But I’m going to tell your dad first.”
A short time later, Jennifer and my dad are in my room, babying me.
Jennifer helps me change into a pair of shorts and my favorite soft sweatshirt. One that Chase gave me when he outgrew it a few years ago.
There’s water, popcorn, and candy on the bedside table.
The television is turned on, and the movie that made my stepmother famous is playing.
“Are you sure you want to watch this?” she asks, her nose scrunched up.
“Yes. Although every time I watch it, I keep hoping you’ll chose Trader instead of Bostwick.”
“We had a lot of chemistry on- and offscreen. But I didn’t write the books,” she says with a laugh.
“It’s funny because, in the books, I wanted her with Boz.” But what I’m thinking as they fuss around is, all I want is Chase to be here with me.
The second I think it, he walks through the door. He’s changed into a pair of shorts and a long-sleeved shirt. His hair is damp, like he took a quick shower.
And I want nothing more than to fall into his arms.
He gently sits on the bed next to me, his back against the headboard, and I immediately lean against his shoulder.
Jennifer goes, “Hmm. That’s not going to work,” and quickly switches all the snacks to Chase’s side of the bed. She sets the popcorn bowl in his lap and hands him the remote.
My dad leans down and kisses the top of my head. “I’m glad it was just a sprained wrist,” he says. “I love you.”
“Thanks, Dad. I love you, too.”
As soon as I hear them go down the stairs, I lean up and kiss Chase.
“You scared me today,” he says.
“I heard some girls talking in another boat. You’d have thought you were Superman with the way they described you leaping into the water and swimming out to rescue me.”
“That’s because I love you, Dani.”
Him kissing the top of my head is the last thing I remember.
