Lori’s on the phone, whining to me, “Jade, we need to plan your bachelorette party, and I’m thinking maybe you should ask Lisa or Chelsea to do it because I’m pregnant. It kinda sucks that I can’t drink, and I’m afraid it won’t be fun.”
I’ve been prepared for this conversation because Danny called me the other night while she was taking a bath and gave me a heads-up.
“You know, Lori, I’m kind of over the whole let’s get drunk, eat penis cake, dance, and party thing. I mean, I’m getting married. I’m supposed to be a grown-up. What I really want my bachelorette party to be about is spending time with my girlfriends. Like, would you be upset if we didn’t have a bar crawl kind of party?”
“Uh, um …” she mumbles.
She’s shocked at me, I think.
“Well, what would you wanna do?”
“I don’t know. What about a girls’ day? Like maybe we go to the spa, come back to my place, order up food, and have, I don’t know, a pajama party sort of. Drink some martinis, talk, and enjoy being with the girls.”
“Really? Danny suggested a spa thing, but I know how you like to party and dance, and I figured that’s for sure what you’d wanna do.”
“Yeah, I know. I hope it doesn’t mean I’m getting old and boring already, but if I’m gonna dance and party, I’d like to do it with Phillip, not some random bar guys.”
“I don’t think it means you’re old and boring, Jade. I think it means you’re in love.”
“That’s probably true.”
“This will be so much fun. We’ll do it the same weekend the boys go to Vegas.”
“The boys are going to Vegas?”
“Oh, I guess I’d better have Danny call you about that.”
Pretty soon, Danny calls me. I swear, it’s a good thing I have a boss who won’t get mad at me for planning my wedding and talking to my friends when I’m at work. One of the benefits of working for Phillip.
“So, I’m planning the bachelor party. Got any suggestions or things I can or can’t do?”
“What did my dad say before I went to visit you in Lincoln?”
He laughs and uses a deeper voice. “‘She’d better not get drunk, stoned, pregnant, or die.’ I will never forget that phone call.”
“I’d say something along those lines. I’d like him not to get so drunk that he does something he’ll regret. I’d like him to be alive when it’s over and preferably nothing involving jail time.”
“Cool. I can handle that.”
“So, what are you going to do? What’s the plan?”
“Well, my plan is to get a few of the bros together for a weekend in Vegas. My bye week is the first week in December, so it should work out great. We could have one continuous buck-ass-wild party.”
“Sounds awesome,” I say, but truthfully, I don’t want Phillip anywhere near a buck-ass-wild party. I want him home with me.
Is that bad?
Am I clingy?
Am I going to smother our marriage before it even starts?
“I thought it’d be awesome, but then I was talking to one of the guys on the team. He said the bachelor party shouldn’t be about what I would like but what the groom would like. So, I have an idea. It’s maybe a little unconventional, but I know he’d love it. And, based on what Lori wants to do for your bachelorette, it might be perfect.”
“Now, you have me interested.”
“Phillip, in case you don’t already know it, is freaking nuts about you.”
“You think?” I giggle.
“Uh, yeah, and when I mentioned taking him away for the weekend, I could tell he wasn’t crazy about the idea. So, what if we sorta combine the bachelor and bachelorette parties?”
“I’m not dancing for you, Danny.”
“I think we’d all get in trouble for that. So, I haven’t worked out all the details yet, but I thought we’d fly in separately on Friday. The girls can go do the spa or whatever. The guys will go golfing, followed by the traditional bachelor party night. The next day, we’ll figure out a fun way to surprise Phillip. Then, we’ll all go out together Saturday night. Do drinks, have a nice dinner, go dancing. What do you think?”
“Danny, that sounds like so much fun; it really does!” But then I think about everyone having to fly to Vegas, pay for rooms, drinks, and the spa. “I’m just worried about asking my friends to spend their money on a trip to Vegas when they’ve already bought dresses for the wedding and all that. It feels like too much.”
“Jay,” Danny says softly.
“What?”
“I’ve got it covered.”
“What do you mean? You’ve already talked to everyone, and they’re okay with it?”
“Not exactly. I mean, I have it covered. I’m gonna pay for it. The flights, hotel rooms, the spa—all of it.”
“Danny, you can’t do that. It’s way too much.”
“Jay, listen to me. You guys are my best friends. I’m so excited you’re marrying each other, and I wanna do this for you, for both of you. Please just be gracious and say, Thank you, Danny, and don’t fight me on it.”
I want to put up a fight because Danny’s going way overboard on this. But it’s not very often that Danny asks me not to fight with him. It might be the first time. Um, no, it is the first time. For sure.
Danny likes to fight with me, I think.
“Fine, I won’t fight you on it. It sounds amazing and is incredibly sweet and generous of you. But I have one request. Will you dance at my party?”
“Uh, no.”
“Ah, come on, Danny. You’d put those Thunder from Down Unders to shame.”
“I’m gonna say, no, sorry. So, what do you think about surprising Phillip? Like, not telling him that you’re there? Don’t you think he’ll love that? I was thinking we’d dress you up and have you come to our suite, like you’re a dancer or something.”
“He will be all hungover and probably won’t even notice it’s me.”
Danny chuckles. “Jay, you know how it’ll be. Phillip will be fine, and the rest of us will be hanging.”
“True, Phillip never gets all messed up, does he?”
“Nope.”
“I kinda like that about him.”
“Well, from what I hear, you kinda like everything about him. And a few things specifically. Who knew you were so naughty? And don’t you two ever get tired?”
“It’s all so amazing with Phillip. And, no, we don’t. I really don’t know why I didn’t take your advice and sleep with him sooner. I could’ve been having so much fun.”
“’Cause you’re stupid and stubborn, just like me, and you won’t do what anyone tells you is good for you.”
I think of something that’s been bugging me, so I ask him, “Danny, do you ever think about cheating? I mean, you’re like this big, sexy quarterback making the big bucks, and girls are always throwing themselves at you. Do you ever want to? Are you glad you got married?”
“Did Lori ask you to ask me this?”
“Uh, no. Why?”
“Then, why are you asking?”
“Well, couples counseling is sort of freaking me out. The pastor is supposed to be pro-marriage, but it feels like he’s trying to talk us out of it. He keeps referring to our marriage as a dead body. It’s going to fester. It’s gonna get infected. Then, we’re gonna smother it to death! I’m just wondering if marriage is a smart idea.”
“Do you want someone besides Phillip?”
“No, but what if I change my mind? What if he does?”
“Jay, you can’t do this to yourself. He’s either the one or he’s not. Do you think he’s the one?”
“It feels like he’s the one.”
“So, why are you worrying about it?”
“Danny, did you pay attention to your wedding vows? Till death do you part. Forever and ever and ever. I mean, are there out clauses somewhere? Like, what if Phillip gets a big beer gut or a hairy back? What if we get married and I find out something about him that I don’t like?”
“For God’s sake, Jay, you’ve known him your whole life. I don’t think you’re in for any surprises.”
“Maybe.”
“And, just for the record, I love Lori. I’m smart enough to know that a roll in the hay with some hot chick isn’t worth losing her. Are you smart enough to know that?”
“I don’t wanna roll in the hay with anyone but Phillip, but I’m afraid he might want to.”
Danny’s voice sounds concerned. “What’s going on? Why would you think that?”
“I don’t know. Well, there’s this girl he works with who has a big crush on him. Like, it’s so obvious. Phillip takes his team out for drinks sometimes, and when I get there, she’s always sitting next to him and flirting with him.”
“How does she flirt with him?”
“She’s always touching him, and I’m afraid he likes it because he doesn’t stop her. If a girl were doing that to you and you wanted to be polite because you had to work with her, would you let her touch you? Is Phillip oblivious to it? Does he like it, or does he want her back? Or worse, could he already be with her?”
“Have you talked to Phillip about this?”
“No, I can’t talk to him about it! He’ll think I’m being jealous, or if he’s doing something, he’ll just deny it. I have to find out on my own.”
“I see now why they wanted you to go to couples counseling.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Jay, talk to him. You have to talk stuff out in your relationship.”
“Never mind, Danny. I’ll figure it out.”
“You looking hot today?”
“Actually, yes. I have on a really cute new dress and adorable high heels. Phillip likes when I wear heels.”
“Your legs are, like, a mile long. Every man alive likes you in heels. Veeerry seeexy.”
“Thanks, Danny. Your pity flirting is helpful.”
“You’re hot, Jay. Phillip loves you, and from what I’ve heard, it’s not like he’s been ignoring you sexually.”
“Oh.” I giggle. “Well, uh, no. Definitely not. I know what I’m gonna do. He’s taking his team out for drinks tonight, so I’ll just go and check it out. I mean, I work here now, so I’m officially part of the team, right?”
“Right,” Danny says.
I touch up my makeup, add a little smoky eye shadow, three more coats of mascara, and some perfume Phillip loves.
When I get there, as expected, the girl is sitting next to Phillip, acting like he’s the most amazing and interesting man on Earth. Phillip’s even drinking a bottle of Dos Equis.
Ha! That kinda makes me laugh.
I’m pretty good at entertaining myself.
I take out my phone and pretend to do something important. The girl laughs and touches Phillip’s arm, but he doesn’t seem to be interested. He’s kind of leaning away from her.
I bravely glide into the bar with my head held high. And not to sound conceited or anything, but I’m over six foot tall in heels, I’m skinnyish, and I have what Danny terms as decent boobs and long blonde hair.
My point being, in a bar, I can usually turn a few heads, and I’m hoping to turn Phillip’s.
He notices me as soon as I step into the room. His eyes roll down my legs, and then he gives me an adorable grin. It makes me feel confident, so I walk up behind him and wrap my arms around his neck. I also position my body so that it’s slightly between him and the girl.
“How’s my sexy fiancé?” I coo.
“Mmm, good now.” He swivels in his barstool and plants a big kiss on me.
Ha! Score one for my team! I thought I was gonna have to kiss him. It’s way better that he kissed me.
One of the sweet girls from work, who must hide out in her office because I never see her during the day, says, “I need to see this ring everyone has been talking about.”
Phillip keeps his arms wrapped around me, and I’m still strategically between him and the girl. I hold my left hand out across the table and show off my gorgeous ring.
“Wow, that’s beautiful. Phillip, your dad said you had it designed for her?”
“I had it made,” he replies, “but she actually drew the design.”
“But you weren’t dating at the time, right?”
“No, we were engagement ring shopping with our friend this past spring. We asked her what her dream ring was, and this is what she sketched.”
I gush, “And he kept the sketch. That’s the amazing part.”
“I’m confused,” she says. “If you got engaged on your first date after being together for only a week, how did you get a ring custom-designed that fast?”
“Oh,” Phillip says with a blush.
Is he embarrassed about this? Is it because of the girl? Is he embarrassed to be engaged to me?
He says, “You know, you’re the first person who’s asked me about the timeline. But you’re right. You can’t get a ring custom-designed in a week.”
“You can’t?” I say. “Wait, then how did you?”
Phillip blinks slowly and looks at me with sparkling eyes. “I’ve had it since May.”
“Like, Cancun May?”
“It was for when we got back,” he says, but what he’s saying with his eyes is way more powerful than what he’s saying with his words.
Oh. My. Gosh.
May.
He’d thought Cancun was a slam dunk.
He says to the table, “I had it for about three months before our first date.”
“You two have the most romantic story,” she gushes.
The girl hasn’t said a word. She’s glowering into her drink.
Phillip pulls me onto his lap. “You look surprised.”
“I am surprised. May, huh?”
“I told you, I’ve known for a while. I just had to wait until you were on the same page.”
“I think we’re on the same page now.”
“I don’t know. I think we have some, uhhh, syncing up to do. Plus, it’s been a long day. I think you need to take me home and put me to bed.”
“Are you tired?” I sorta whisper but loud enough for the girl to hear.
“Not at all.” He grins, kisses up by my ear, and whispers, “God, you smell good. I can’t wait to get you home.” He throws some money down on the table and says to everyone, “See ya tomorrow.” Then, he takes my hand and leads me out of the bar.
And I just hit the game-winning shot at the buzzer!
My team wins!
After syncing up in bed, I ask him about the girl, “Phillip, what’s that girl’s deal? She’s always like, Oh, Phillip, you’re so funny. When she touches your arm, I just wanna rip it off.”
“She’s kind of a flirt, but I’m not the least bit interested.”
“Then, you need to make her stop touching you. It’s not work appropriate, not professional. If you’re gonna be the boss, you can’t allow it. And, if you wanna be my husband …”
“Are you actually jealous?”
“Ummm, well, not really jealous, more like concerned. Phillip, I love you. I don’t want some secretary to ruin our relationship, and it concerns me that you let her touch your arm. It makes me think you like it.”
“Actually, it bothers me, but I’m not sure how to handle it.”
“Maybe you shouldn’t be going out for drinks when she’s there.”
“That would mean I’d never get to go because she’s always there. She’s on my team.”
“I think you should let her know that it makes you uncomfortable. Maybe say something to her, or move your arm away. If you don’t move, you’re almost encouraging her.”
“Well, next time she does it, that’s what I’ll do.”
“Good, because I really don’t wanna have to say, Phillip, hold my earrings while I beat her ass. That might not be very professional either.”
Phillip laughs at me, and then he smiles that smile that makes me melt.
Every. Single. Time.
I run the backs of my hands down the sides of his handsome face. The way he looks at me makes me know that I was stupid, that I have nothing to worry about.
I kiss him. “So, did you really have the ring for three whole months before we hooked up?”
“Yeah, Danny and Lori were the only people who knew. They sorta thought I was nuts. And, after Cancun blew up, I sorta thought so, too. I was really disappointed.”
“I was really disappointed, too. Cancun didn’t go at all the way I’d planned.”
“You had a plan for Cancun?”
“Yeah.”
“Really? What was it?”
“I was gonna get you a little tipsy, dance with you, and then take you back to my room. I never imagined you’d leave me alone with those guys. That was, like, dangerous, you know, leaving me on the beach, drunk and crying.”
“I never left you by yourself. I wanted you to think I was gone because I was pissed, but I kept an eye on you. I had to make sure you were okay.”
“That was sweet.”
“I’m a sucker, is more like it.”
“No, you’re sweet and adorable, and I’m so lucky you didn’t give up on me, on us.”
“I couldn’t. I just had to believe it would work out, but then you started dating that drummer.”
“Guitar player.”
“Whatever.”
“Hey, don’t get smart with me, mister.”
“Hey, don’t tell me what to do, missy.”
“I’m gonna be your wife. I can say whatever I want.”
“Oh, say that again.”
“I can say whatever I want. I like that part.”
“No, the other part.”
“What part?”
“The wife part.”
“I’m gonna be your wife.”
“Yeah, I love that.”
“I love you.”
“I’m not sure I believe you.”
“Huh?”
“I think you’re gonna have to show me.”
“I think I already did.”
He pulls me closer and says, “Maybe you need to show me again.”
