Through the kitchen window, I could see Levi outside. He was standing near one of the strange rock columns that lined the perimeter of the house, pacing back and forth like he was walking on some arbitrary line. He had been at this for about fifteen minutes. Walking, talking, or even downright yelling at the forest like he was having some kind of an argument with it.
I took another sip of coffee then picked up the last piece of bacon and took a bite. Derek had made a pan of homemade cinnamon monkey bread for breakfast. With my luck, all the good food he was always cooking would make me too fat to shift. I took another bite of bacon right as Levi stopped his pacing and marched back to the house. Over y shoulder I could see Derek turn back to the dishes he had been washing in the sink, a sloppy attempt at hiding his staring at the same strange sight that I was watching.
He wiped his hands on a red-and-white polka-dot dish towel then crossed off another day on the calendar hanging on the fridge. The second full moon would be here soon, and already the anxiety was eating away at me. I had no desire to experience pain like I had last month again, but it wasn’t like I had much of a choice.
The door swung open and hit the wall with a bang that demanded attention. Levi strolled through the door.
Without a word, he walked straight to one of the forest green cabinets and pulled out a mug then filled it full of steaming coffee. He took a long sip, without a flinch, and looked at me. He took another sip, his brows furrowing as if the sight of me was souring his morning.
“Go get dressed. You’re running today.”
Derek didn’t say anything. He continued to wash the dishes. Levi picked up the paper and walked back outside with his mug, leaving me to a screaming silence.
When I walked out to meet Levi, he was leaning against a tree smoking a cigarette. His hair was tied back in a low ponytail and he wore jeans that had holes in them from wear.
“Start running.” His eyes looked over to one of the stone columns as smoke danced out of his lips.
My gaze followed his. “Is everything okay?” It was just a column. The forest was quiet around it, or at least it seemed calm enough.
“Of course,” he replied. “Now get moving.”
“Where?”
“Doesn’t matter.” He took another drag. “You won’t be able to make it off the land. I’ll know where you are.”
“How?” I reached down to adjust the tongue of my tennis shoe.
His eyes were already glowing and his pupils were pulsating like there was more than just him looking at me. He took another drag, his silver eyes glowing brighter with each breath he took. I paused as the thing in me stepped forward.
Something behind his eyes moved, and that was all I needed to bolt.
My feet pumped against the ground to the beat of my heart as adrenaline drove every single one of my steps. The need to soar on its wings and push harder became insatiable.
A high started to hum through me, an electricity that tickled through my veins while I ran with the wind, hints of the coming winter blowing swiftly through the trees, orchestrating a dance of falling leaves to the forest floor.
My lungs started to burn, but in a way I had come to love. The Pilates class I had committed myself to before was more of a social gathering than a way to strengthen my body. I was more worried about fitting in with the herd of brand-clothed females than I was about the class.
With all the exercise Levi had been putting me through, I found myself welcoming the soreness every morning.
Because with the aches came the achievements, both small and large. Like now—I knew that I could push harder. Go further. Run longer. I could do more, and believed in my ability to do so, which was more than I could say for myself before everything started.
I slowed as I turned a corner to catch my breath and take note of the scenery around me. It was quiet, but not in a way that invited eeriness. It was serene, a gentle lullaby sounding through the forest as the crisp wind shook the tree limbs.
Snap.
The forest went silent. All of it. Even the wind felt like it was holding its breath in a moment when my heart was all I could hear.
Snap. I skidded to a halt.
I sucked in a breath. The hair on my neck rose as the forest quieted around me. If I’d learned anything since I’d been here, it was that a silent forest was never a good thing.
I felt the beast in the back of my mind perk up, as if she was flipping her own ear forward to listen.
Another snap was all it took for my feet to pick up again.
Where the hell was Levi?!
I wove through trees and my eyes searched for the way back to the house—to safety. I didn’t think that I could run this hard, this fast, but my body was a constant source of surprises these days. This thing in me pressed at my mind, almost as if she wanted me to turn around and confront the danger. I had no desire to do that. I was already fighting hard enough to stay alive. The last thing I needed to do was walk stupidly into my own demise.
I paused to catch my breath before picking up the pace again, hanging a sharp right toward a familiar path home. My legs pushed hard against the ground as the way back started to resonate with my memory, but I couldn’t help the feeling of something breathing down my neck, catching up to me.
There was crunching behind me.
I ran faster as the sound only grew louder and louder.
My heart raced and fingers of fear felt like they were wrapping around my ankles, trying to yank me backward.
My body pushed harder as the need to flee grew feverous inside me. I found myself leaping on impulse. But right when my feet left the ground something slammed into me like a freight train. My body jolted sideways, skidding across the fading green grass until I smacked right into a tree.
Groaning, I pulled myself upright as low growling silenced the forest once again.
In the back of my mind, I could hear Nate laughing. An image of him leaning forward on our balcony with its overpriced view, the soft colors of dusk caressing his skin like I used to, flashed through my mind. He looked over at me and chuckled. “Really, Charlotte?”
Groaning, I looked up to find myself alone in a clearing.
A quiet clearing.
“Levi?” My voice shook, and the feeling that something wasn’t quite right set in.
“Levi?” I called again as I stood back up.
A snapping caused my head to whip around to the sight of a black wolf standing at the edge of the forest. Silver eyes stared right at me. “Levi,” I breathed, stepping closer.
The wolf cocked its head at me. A tingling buzzed in my brain. She surged to life, sizzling to the front of my brain. I stumbled from the forcefulness of her presence.
Blinking, I peered closer at the wolf, spotting a tip of white on one of its ears.
This wasn’t Levi. Levi was all black. There was no white on his ears. I remembered that much from the sight of him shifting in the bedroom for the first time.
Whoever this was, I realized that he had me where he wanted me—cornered. I knew what happened in situations like this. I had no desire to feel another man’s hands on me or to look at more bruises. Which was laughable. Wolves like this had teeth. I needn’t worry about bruises because there wouldn’t be anything left of me.
“Who the fuck are you?” I hissed, my feet planted in the ground as she grew more vibrant in my mind. “Well?!” I shouted. My voice was angry but my hands were shaking—fingers trembling—giving me away.
“Lander?!” I turned around to see Levi stomping toward me, his eyes glowing like angry fireflies.
He stepped around me as the other wolf stepped back into the woods. Levi paused in front of me and looked over his shoulder. “Did he say anything to you?”
I cocked my head. “No.”
“Did you say anything?”
I shook my head. “No.”
“Was he alone?”
My brows furrowed. “Is something wrong?”
Levi rubbed a hand over his face, his brow furrowing.
“Charlie, was he alone?”
“I think so,” I answered.
Levi sighed, his brow relaxing, which only fanned the flames of my curiosity.
I opened my mouth to probe Levi for information, but a crunching snapped my gaze forward. Levi stepped in front of me, but peering around him, I could see a man who looked like a younger version of Levi walk out of the brush.
Lander wiped his hands on his gray sweatpants then pushed one through his white-blond hair, silver eyes trained directly on me. “So,” he said, looking back at Levi. “Are you going to tell her?”
Levi crossed his arms over his chest. I took another side step to get a better look. “Charlie, this is my pain in the ass brother, Lander.”
Lander rolled his eyes. I took a step forward. “Tell me what?” I asked Lander.
Lander shook his head at Levi, laughing under his breath. “Levi.” He paused then looked up at me. The glow of his silver eyes softened before he smiled tiredly at me. “That you’re moon-blooded.”
I felt my brows rise before I found myself looking directly at Levi. He shook his head and smiled dangerously at Lander. “Has anyone ever told you that you’re an exhausting asshole?”
“Levi?” I pushed. “What is he talking about?”
Levi’s eyes cut to me. “It’s not important.”
“Bul shit,” Lander hissed.
“We don’t even know if she’s going to make it through the next moon.”
“And what about the trackers that have picked up her scent? The pack knows.”
“Of course, they fucking know!” Levi grumbled.
“Why shouldn’t they know?” I asked.
Both of them went silent, exchanging glances in a silent conversation that left me back in the dark.
I turned to Levi. “You promised. You can be a dick about it, but you fucking promised. What the fuck is happening to me?!”
He looked away from Lander then back at me. “Shit,” e hissed. “All right, but back at the house. We don’t know who’s listening.” I turned with wide eyes to look at Levi. He shrugged. “People are nosy. The pack can be even worse.”
He stepped back then walked to the other end of the tree line. I turned to look at Lander, my mind running in circles as the secrets seemed to start dancing around me. Lander stepped next to me, offering me an easy smile.
“Come on,” he said. “Levi’s right. The pack is nosy.”
“You’re the one he’s been talking to?”
Lander nodded as we began to walk toward Levi.
“Someone has to check on him.”
“Why leave him out here?”
Lander breathed a laugh. “He makes his own choices.”
I narrowed my gaze then trotted after Levi, feeling the need to stay close. He looked over his shoulder at Lander and rolled his eyes.
“So, are you—”
“Wait until we get into the house.”
I snapped my mouth shut, stomping next to him until we approached the cabin. Derek started to wave until he looked over the three of us. He nodded to himself then zipped inside.
I stormed past Levi and ran up the steps to find Derek opening a bottle of wine.
“It’s not even noon.”
Derek shrugged. “You’re going to need this.”
Levi walked in after me, grabbing a coffee cup. He poured it full of coffee left over from the morning then added in some whiskey. Lander closed the door behind him, eyeing Levi’s mug.
“I’ll take one.”
“The fuck you will,” Levi grumbled.
“What do you want, Lander?” Derek asked.
Lander huffed and took a seat at the bar. He looked at me then at Derek and Levi. “To talk about her—”
“My name is Charlotte.”
Lander looked over at me, eyes latching onto mine. I felt her surge forward again. Dance like she was ready to ignite.
Lander’s eyes widened. He looked back at Levi, jaw clenching. “She’s fucking moon-blooded and she has no idea. The pack—”
“That’s your job to handle,” Levi snapped.
“And your job is to take care of her,” Lander shot back.
“She has no idea what she is—what the hell are you thinking?! Do you even know what—”
“Enough!” I found myself saying. “I am right here and you will tell me what the hell is going on. Now.”
Levi took a long drink from his mug. “Shit,” he hissed.
“Fuck—fine. Lander, this is your fucking fault.”
Lander leaned back in his seat. “Derek, can I get something to drink?”
Derek sighed, nodded tiredly at him. He started to zip around while I took a seat at the edge of the bar.
“They say—well, our kind say—that some wolves are born with the blood of the moon in them,” Levi began. “The moon is who created us, according to wolves. Usually, it’s generational. Moon-blood is usually a trait passed down from the original wolves to their children. However, every now and then there’s a new wolf that’s moon-blooded that doesn’t have a direct tie to the original families.”
“But someone usually figures out a tie,” Lander pointed out.
Levi shrugged. “Not all the time.”
Derek slid Lander a glass of whiskey on the rocks. He took a sip then nodded reluctantly. “Not all the time,” he repeated in agreement.
“What does it mean?” I asked.
“Usually moon-blood wolves are stronger. Think of it like the stronger pups in the litter.”
“And,” Lander added, “you can always smell the moon-blood on them. Before and after they shift. Usually, you start to smell it after their first moon.”
I nodded as my fingers started to tap on the counter. “So, I smell like this? Like moon-blood?”
Lander chuckled. “Oh yeah,” he said. “Pack trackers on patrol picked up your scent, hence why I am here,” he finished, narrowing his gaze at Levi.
“But I can’t smell either of you, or whatever it’s supposed to smell like,” I said.
Lander nodded. “You won’t for a while. Maybe after the next moon when you shift a little more. You’ve got more traits now, but remember, it doesn’t all come at once.”
Levi shook his head at Lander. “I told you to keep the trackers away.”
“With the rogue issue, you think that I could sell that kind of shit to anyone?”
“What rogue issue?” I asked.
Both men stilled, looking at each other and conversing silently in that telepathic form that was starting to grow annoying.
The hair on the back of my neck started to rise while something burned in my chest, vibrating its way to my fingertips. Levi whipped his gaze to me, the glow of my own eyes dancing around his silver irises. “I have a right to know.
Are they coming after me? Coming to finish the job? Waiting for me to fucking lose it like them? And what—why did you not tell me I’m this fucking moon-blood thing?!”
“Because what’s important is that you focus on surviving, and anything else seems like a distraction.”
“Bul shit,” I hissed.
“They won’t come for you,” Lander answered. “But how they attacked—it’s highly unusual. They are never that organized. I would have doubted it, but the whole area smells like them, like rotting death—it’s highly unusual and has the pack and our neighbors on alert. Usually, we know of rogues in the area, monitor them. They don’t normally pop up.”
I shook my head, which felt like it was starting to spin.
Lander sighed before looking at me with an apologetic smile.
“There’s one more thing.”
“Of course there is,” Levi grumbled.
“The diner called. Shirley said a man was looking for her.”
“You know Shirley?” I asked.
“Yeah, we know Shirley,” Levi answered.
Lander licked his lips and cautiously looked back at Levi. “Someone from California was asking about a blond woman out here. Had a picture he was showing the staff.
Shirley kicked him out and said they haven’t seen anyone.
She wasn’t sure if that satisfied him enough to get him to look elsewhere.”
My heart froze in my chest. My feet moved on their own until I was in the greenhouse, sitting next to the lush bushes of basil that still thought it was a nice summer day out. A summer day that I tried to let my mind melt away to, but that didn’t stop the racing thoughts from spinning round and round my head.
Derek came in later to check on me but gave me my space. He didn’t prod, which was a good thing. I felt like a time bomb ready to burst with the least bit of incentive. I eventually came in once the dark set in. Lander had left and Levi had long since gone to bed, but I only found my way into a restless sleep.
The next morning Levi woke me up early to run again.
This time he had a created a path for me to follow closely, marked with white X s on the trees.
Frustration fueled each step I took, but “I told you so” and “Of course he would follow you” felt like bricks weighing me down. My lungs burned after only two laps; my mind raced even more.
“This isn’t a leisurely jog.”
Whipping around, I caught sight of Levi leaning against a tree. I shook my head. “I needed a break.”
“Break’s over, now move it.”
I rolled my eyes and started to run again. I hated how easily Nate’s man had found me. How easy it was for them to come so close to me. They wouldn’t be polite about dragging me home, and Nate would certainly not be polite when I arrived.
The whole thing put everything at risk—everyone. All the people who lived as part of this “pack” I hadn’t even met—people who were probably better off before I’d crashed right into their world. I had to fix it. I had to figure out how to get Nate and his guy off my trail.
Looking up, I spotted Levi a few yards ahead of me in a pair of gray sweats. He shook his head. “Pick it up!” he called back.
I ignored him. I needed to think and put the pieces of things together. However, my lack of obedience didn’t please him. He put his hands on his hips, a move similar to one Nate used to do when he was displeased. “You ran like a lightning bolt the night those rogues were after you, now move!”
My feet skidded to a stop. I turned on my heel as something fired inside my chest. “Rogues that you don’t want to talk about,” I said. “Or tell me anything about.”
“It’s not for you to worry about,” he answered.
“Bul shit!” I hissed. “The rogues, the P.I. Nate sent? Why can’t you give me some answers!”
“You probably already know more about that P.I. than we do,” he pointed out. “Seems like it’s not your first time.”
My throat clenched because he was right. It wasn’t my first time. I had run once before. More like attempted to run.
An attempt that was very short-lived.
“Why the hell do you hate me so fucking much?” I found myself asking. I bit my lip as his eyes went wide, feeling the anger move me to step forward. “Look, I am really sorry I crashed into your life. Believe me, this is not what I wanted, but you owe me answers. You owe me the truth. This moon-blood thing? You can’t hide that from me.”
Levi chuckled under his breath. “You are a giant pain in my ass and now a pain to the pack. Do you even realize the threat you pose to everyone? You could go rogue. That means you’re a danger to yourself and everyone around you, which we’d have to contain. And now I’ve got some controlling-ass human sending his puppets up here snooping around, threatening to expose us. And on top of that, I have to deal with you—moping around here feeling sorry for yourself with barely any fight to survive. So excuse me if I don’t want to be best friends.”
“Fuck you.”
Tears pooled at the corner of my eyes. I didn’t want to cry in front of him. I didn’t want to give him that.
“You want answers, so do I. Like who the hell is this guy you’re running from?”
“It’s none of your business!” I hissed.
“I pulled three rogues off your ass. I think it is.”
This wasn’t his business. I hadn’t agreed to him being my therapist.
I swallowed my trepidation and stepped toward the low sound of rumbling.
“He did a real number on your face. Haven’t seen a woman beat up like that in a long time.”
A rumble ripped through my chest with vibrations that shook all the way to my fingers. I felt her stand up in the back of my mind. Aware. Alert. Ready.
“You don’t get to do this. You don’t know a damn thing about me,” I shouted, my eyes catching sight of leaves slowly settling next to a tree. He had been there. I was sure of it.
“Not fun when someone who doesn’t know you starts to poke and prod you for questions they don’t deserve answers to, is it?”
Tears ran down my cheeks. I quickly wiped them away.
I couldn’t let him see his victory. I couldn’t let him know how much I was breaking inside. How I hated myself. How I hated the pathetic excuse of a woman I had let myself become.
But something came over me. This thing in me, it felt like it was dragging something forward. It felt like pure out-rage mixed with a little insanity, but the feeling of it slowly starting to weave through me made me think that it was my redemption.
Because he was wrong. He knew nothing about me. I may have run before, but I was done running now. I may have run into Nate’s arms to escape the sorrow of losing my mother, but I wasn’t running back to him or that life. I knew I had to talk about it. I knew I needed answers. And if Levi wanted to know exactly what that monster did to me, I’d be more than happy to tell him.
“You’re right!” I tossed my hands up then looked around for him. I found myself stepping forward. “You’re so right, Levi. What do you want? An award for being an on-point asshole?”
He said nothing but I could imagine the angry look on his face. I didn’t care. I was taking his advice after all. Getting a little angry. A little mad. A little pissed off.
“You’re so right!” I turned and caught sight of bushes shaking. “What? Do you want a fucking award?”
His eyes were glowing, almost all black, the silver lining barely visible. He lit a cigarette he had dug out of the pocket of his sweats, the forest growing quieter while he lit up, the smoke doing little to hide the rage behind his eyes.
“You want to know about this?” I lifted my shirt up and showed him a scar that was on my hip bone. “We got into a fight. I tried to turn away and instead I found myself falling into the corner of the coffee table. He told me I was just clumsy. I told myself for years that he was right.” I laughed bitterly. “That I was just some clumsy bitch, but you knew that already, didn’t you?”
He said nothing, just cocked his head and watched.
“And what about these?” I turned and pulled my collar down so he could see the two blotchy scars right above my shoulder blade. “Because he was just trying to hug me, he totally didn’t realize that the lit end of his cigarette was there. God he was just so stupid, wasn’t he? Horrible accident.”
“If you want me to feel sorry for you, then believe me, I won’t.”
“You want to know what happened that night?” I was prowling toward him now, doing what the new nature in me dictated. “He came home drunk and high, and pissed off. That wasn’t unusual. He wanted to have sex and I said no because I was furious about finding pictures on his computer of him and his intern.
“He said he would make it up to me, but I wasn’t having it. Him sloppily thrusting himself into me wasn’t going to fix that. He called me an ungrateful bitch. I didn’t understand how he could do this to me, he was supposed to love me! Be with me!
“I didn’t even believe he’d hit me at first until he did it again.” I paused while the breeze picked up again. “Then he was on me. I just lay there and prayed that it would be over, that he would be done with me. That it would just be over—”
“Charlotte—”
“He wasn’t done. I don’t know how I got away, but somehow I locked myself in the guest bathroom. I put a towel over the mirror so I couldn’t look at myself.”
I looked back at Levi, catching his eyes changing into something else. Becoming more human, less beast, as the breeze broke the silence around us. “You want to know about Nathaniel Lane? He is the type of asshole who would make you look like a puppy. He’s got too much time and too much money and has family connections to the police and politicians. He won’t stop looking for me, and I am really fucking sorry that in some way you have to deal with him.
Because he is the devil.”
This thing in me was coming closer, watching Levi while he took a drag of his cigarette. “You can be a piece of shit for as long as you want, but I’m not going to play these games with you. You agreed to help me, and helping me means telling me the truth. I’m not that delicate. I won’t break. If you can learn anything from Nate, it’s that I won’t break,” I snarled, my chest vibrating.
There was nothing left to say. I was done with his bullshit. I’d run from a man who had used me as a punching bag; I wasn’t about to become someone else’s.
My feet started to backtrack. I didn’t want to show fear, but I wasn’t staying—not with him in the middle of the forest where I could easily disappear. And I was not about to turn my back on him.
Levi didn’t move. He watched me before I turned and walked back through the silence of the forest that felt like it was quiet in reverence. I hated it. I hated the blank slate the quiet left for my own brain to run free in. Because all that was left in the silence were my own thoughts. And I hated the sound of those more than anything.
