The next morning I was eager to see Raife. I couldn’t get last night’s kiss out of my mind. How real it felt, what it all meant. After frying up some eggs and elkin meat, I stepped into the dining room.
Raife was there hunched over some parchments and maps.
“Morning.” I smiled, setting the food before him.
“I’ve got to leave town for a few weeks,” he said without looking up at me.
I tried to keep the disappointment from my voice. “Oh?”
“The king of Embergate’s wife is with child. I’m going to draw the Nightfall queen into a skirmish at our eastern border to pull her attention away from him and his new wife.”
“That’s nice of you.” I wondered why he would do that, risk his own men’s lives.
Raife shoved some of the fried egg into his mouth and chewed. “He’s a childhood friend, and he’s agreed to join my alliance in a war against the queen.”
I nodded, slowly eating my food while I watched him wolf his down. He still hadn’t looked at me. I’d worn a pretty green dress and I was hoping he’d notice.
“Oh, and sorry about last night. I was drunk and barely remember anything,” he said as he took the last bite of his food.
I’d heard the term broken hearted, but never really understood it until now. The center of my chest indeed cracked open at his flippant comment about the amazing kiss we’d shared.
“You didn’t seem that drunk,” I said, placing my fork on the plate and suddenly losing my appetite.
“Alright.” He stood, still not meeting my gaze. “I’m off to the eastern wall with the Bow Men. Cancel my meetings for the next two weeks and take notes for me on anything urgent that comes up. You can brief me when I get back.”
I nodded, trying not to physically shrink in on myself. “Who will feed you? Taste for you?”
Raife rested a hand on his bow, which hung on his belt, and finally met my gaze. There was pain there. I didn’t know how or why but he looked like he was suffering. “I’m an expert hunter. I’ll eat fresh game or the Bow Men will taste for me.”
I swallowed hard, trying not to feel unwanted. “Be safe,” was all I could mutter, now unable to look at him either. I felt like a discarded piece of trash. He wasn’t that drunk. I’d felt the giddiness of being tipsy. But he remembered—I knew he remembered that kiss.
Bastard.
There was a motion to my left but I kept my head down to my plate. Warm lips brushed against my cheek and then he was gone.
TWO WEEKS of planning a fake wedding for a man that you were pretty sure you’d really fallen for, who had rejected you, sucked. Flowers, silk tapestries, cake tasting, it was all overshadowed by the supposedly forgotten kiss. Chef Brulier was back. His mother had unfortunately passed, and the grieving period was over. We’d come up with a vanilla lavender custard cake that was truly incredible, but no matter how many slices I ate I still felt like crap.
That kiss. Why did the bastard kiss me like that if he was planning on leaving? And fake forgetting the kiss and the pact to practice daily…?
“Aargh!” I screamed as I threw my axe at the tree. With no more daily meetings scheduled I’d taken to coming out to the woods and throwing things. It was doing wonders for my mood.
A twig snapped to my left and I spun. It took me a second to figure out what I was seeing.
“Autumn?” I gasped, my brain unable to place why my neighbor from Nightfall was in Archmere. She was covered in mud and twigs and I could smell her from here. She reeked of burned wood and was covered in soot.
She looked relieved to see me. “Lani.” She rushed forward, and despite the mud and soot all over her, I pulled her in for a hug.
“What happened? Why are you here?” I asked her.
She was two years older than me and studying to be a mechanical engineer at Nightfall University. “Your aunt has been worried sick about you for weeks. I offered to travel here and enquire about your whereabouts. Then I was nearly killed at the border trying to cross over. Apparently, a small battle has broken out there and I was caught in the middle.”
Oh no, Raife’s skirmish. No wonder she’d looked like she’d been dragged through the mud and fire. She probably had.
Literally.
Autumn’s sister, a human, was married to an elf. I’d forgotten that until just now. She often traveled here in secret to visit her nieces and nephews, so she knew the land well. If she was caught, the queen would kill her.
“So you’re… part elf?” She looked at me closer, her eyes going right to my rounded ears. “I heard the debtors sold you into slavery, and then your aunt told me about your lineage. She’s hoping the king would be lenient with one of his own. The whole neighborhood has been worried sick about you, Lani.”
I opened my mouth to speak and she took in my silk cream colored dress with light blue ribbon detail, then her gaze fell to the ring on my marriage finger and she gasped. “But I guess you’re more than okay. Lani, what’s going on?”
I wasn’t prepared to be confronted with my past, and Autumn was the closest thing to a best friend I had.
I exhaled, running my fingers through my hair. “I was captured, sold as a slave to the elf king, and then somehow I became his personal assistant and now we’re engaged.” I gave a nervous laugh.
Her mouth dropped open. “I’m sorry. Did you just say you were engaged to the elf king?”
I trusted Autumn, but if she was ever interrogated about me I didn’t want her to have to keep any secrets, so I decided not to tell her it was a fake marriage. In doing that, I’d have to tell her about the king’s war with the queen, and I didn’t want to do that and jeopardize his plans.
“Holy Hades, Kailani!” she finally shrieked, grinning. “You’re going to become the queen of the elves?”
I swallowed hard. “Yeah.”
She was grinning ear to ear and I couldn’t help but smile back. “Your aunt is going to flip when I tell her.” She pulled a note from her pocket and handed it to me.
“How is she? The seizures?” I looked for signs of worry on her face, but she nodded.
“She’s great. The medicine is working, she’s been seizure free and back at work.”
That was good, but the medicine would run out soon, so the king would have to make good on his promise to get her out of there right after the wedding.
“Hey, Autumn, do you think you could draw me a map of the secret route you use to sneak into Nightfall? In case I want to see my aunt?”
She instantly bristled. “Are you asking as my friend, Lani, or the future queen of Archmere?”
Hades. Autumn wasn’t a loyal Nightfall human who hated magic ones, but she also couldn’t be keen on bringing war to her people.
I rolled my eyes. “I’m asking as Lani, your childhood friend who wants to make sure my aunt is safe.” That was the truth.
She smiled. “I might be persuaded over dinner, maybe with some of that famous chocolate elf wine I hear so much about?” She eyed the palace, clearly wanting me to invite her in.
I wasn’t sure what the king or his council would think of my having a human friend over for lunch. It wasn’t like in Nightfall, where all other races were outlawed, but humans were looked down upon here because of their association with our mortal enemy.
“Perfect, I’ll go get a picnic basket and we can eat in the garden! Just wait here. I’ll be right back.” I gestured to the rose bushes and a perfect green meadow for the blanket.
She nodded, taking the hint, and moved to go wait in the garden.
“I’ll bring you fresh clothes too,” I told her.
She waved me off. “Don’t bother. I have tons at my sister’s place. I’m going there next.”
“Alright, then. I’ll be right back.”
Running into the kitchen, I grabbed layered pastries, smoked meats, boiled eggs, spicy tomato jam, and fresh fruits, shoving them all in a wicker basket, and then ran back out to my friend. I also grabbed one of Raife’s bottles of chocolate elf wine. He had hundreds of them and only seemed to open them for guests. I’d actually never tasted the famous wine in all my time here and was excited to do so.
THREE HOURS later I was drunk and cackling under the night sky with my oldest friend.
Autumn grinned. “Remember when Robbie Pantum tried to touch my boobs in exercise class and you broke his nose?”
I laughed hysterically, feeling the heady rush of the buzz the three glasses of wine had given me. Not only was it the tastiest wine I’d ever had, it was strong.
“He was a jerk.” I lifted my empty glass and Autumn clinked it with hers. We’d finished the bottle an hour ago and just kept clinking empty glasses.
“Is the elf king dreamy? How did you fall in love? Tell me about him?” Autumn flipped on her belly and looked down at me with puppy dog eyes.
I sighed. “His lips are like pillows and he gets grumpy a lot.”
Autumn burst into laughter, which caused me to cackle. Then a shadow cast overhead, blocking out the setting sun.
I peered up to find Raife Lightstone hovering over us with his head cocked to the side, looking down at Autumn and I with intrigue.
Autumn stared at me wide-eyed. “Mr. Pillow Lips?”
I nodded, fear chasing some of my drunkenness away, but not enough. Would he be mad I was drinking with a girlfriend in his garden? Was he back from the war for good? Was he hurt? Did he hear me call him grumpy? So many questions swirled in my head.
“I don’t believe we’ve met?” The king looked down at Autumn, his gaze falling to her short-tipped ears just as my gaze fell to the half-dozen Bow Men behind him.
I sat up quickly, immediately regretting it, and swayed as the wine hit me full force. Why was being drunk while lying down so much easier? The moment you had to walk, the challenges set in.
“My love, I’m so glad you’re home!” I stood and swayed, widening my stance to keep from falling.
Raife caught me, placing a hand on either side of my hips and pulling me close to his chest. I leaned forward and planted a light kiss to his lips. Then I looked at Autumn. “This is my dear childhood friend, Autumn. Her sister lives in town, married to an elf.”
I felt the king relax under me, as if he suspected me of plotting his assassination with her or something. “Hello, Autumn, it’s a pleasure. Would you like one of my Bow Men to escort you to your sister’s?”
Autumn stood, stumbled a little, and then snickered before saluting Raife. “Yes sir, Mr. Pillow Lips.”
I had to bite my cheeks to keep from laughing.
“Get her to her sister’s safely and report to me when it’s done,” Raife told one of his Bow Men.
“Yes, my king,” he said, and then the rest of them dispersed.
Now that we were alone, Raife gazed down at me, still holding me in his arms. Leaning forward, he smelled my lips. “Chocolate elf wine?”
I nodded. “I’ve never had it.” Now that he was this close, I didn’t want him to let me go. I missed him; it took me until now, in his arms, to realize how much. Tracing my fingers down his neck, I sighed. “You’re not injured. I was worried.”
His breathing came out ragged and then his gaze flicked to the picnic blanket. “What’s that?” His voice could cut glass.
I turned my head and peered at what he was talking about.
He was staring at the map Autumn had drawn for me.
I looked up at him and grinned. “I want something in return for telling you what that is.”
His eyes grew even more suspicious. “Like what? Money?”
I snort-laughed, and then fought for composure. Leaning in, I brushed my lips to his ear. “A kiss.”
His whole body coiled tight like a snake. “What is it, Kailani?” he growled.
I could tell by his tone he thought it some nefarious thing. He clearly recognized his land in the map, and it hurt that he didn’t trust me.
Pulling back to look into his eyes, I brushed my fingers over his lips. “It’s an exact route from here to my aunt’s house in Nightfall City. A secret route that Autumn has taken dozens of times without getting caught. I thought we could use it to extract my aunt, but also to win your war when it’s time.”
His sharp intake of breath indicated his shock, and then before I knew it his lips were on mine. A moan of pleasure ripped from my throat and I threaded my fingers through his hair. Our tongues searched for each other with a hungry need, stroking softly and then hard. These few weeks apart, after that last kiss in my apartment, had been hell. It was all I’d thought about. I pressed my body to his and he placed his hand on my lower back, dipping me backwards as he laid me down on the blanket.
I allowed him to, and lay backwards as he lowered himself on top of me. I had about two seconds to care if someone saw us and thought it improper—and then realized I simply didn’t care. I was a soon-to-be queen making out with her betrothed. Nothing to see here. Move along.
Raife’s hand slipped under my dress, first near my ankle, and then slowly trailed up my shin, over my knee to the outer thigh. For a wild second, all I could think about was when the last time I’d shaved was, and then he grasped my hip, moaning deeply into my open mouth. I swallowed the sound, feeling the heady dizziness of elf wine combine with lustful thoughts of consuming each other.
He pulled back and looked down at me sadly. “You’re drunk,” he said almost disappointedly.
I shook my head, opening my eyes really wide in an effort to appear sober. “I’m super clearheaded.”
He chuckled, running a finger down my chest. “You know what elf wine does to humans?”
Who cares, just take me. Right here under the moonlight, I wanted to say.
“Huh?” I traced his sharp jawline, imagining running my tongue along it.
He sighed, pulling his hand from under my dress and then creasing the fabric down flat. “It robs them of their memories while drunk. You and your friend Autumn won’t remember any of this tomorrow.”
Dread settled in my gut. Not remember this amazing kiss? That was criminal. “I’m only half human,” I reminded him, dizziness washing over me as I closed one eye in an effort to see Raife’s face better.
He shook his head, smiling. “Let’s get you to bed.”
One second I was lying flat on my back and the next I was being hauled up into his arms.
“The map!” I turned to look at the blanket.
“In my pocket,” he told me.
I relaxed, resting my head against his chest, listening to the boom boom of his heart. Being this close to him I could feel what he was feeling. Adoration, fear, loyalty.
“What are you afraid of?” I asked sleepily as the elf wine tried to pull me under.
He bristled, saying nothing as he navigated the halls of the castle. When he got to my room, he opened the door and set me on my bed, pulling off my shoes and covering me with my blanket.
Leaning into my ear, he whispered, “You. I’m afraid of you. You’re the kind of woman I could lose myself in.”
I could feel my eyebrows knit together in the center of my forehead. Everything was blurry and my words felt like mishmash in my head. I wanted to say something back but couldn’t. Footsteps retreated, and then the door shut.
Eh, best to talk about it tomorrow when I was more clearheaded.
THE NEXT MORNING I woke up feeling like I’d fallen off a horse and had then been punched in the face. I opened one eye, saw that I was in my dress from yesterday, and moaned.
What the Hades had happened last night? All I remembered was having a fun picnic with Autumn, then drinking too much elf wine.
Everything was fuzzy after that.
With a sigh, I sat up and went through the motions of getting ready. Not in the mood to dress up, I decided to leave my hair down and wavy, and applied no makeup. I also didn’t bother with a fancy dress. The king was out of town anyway; all of his meetings would be canceled. Instead I wore a knee-length blue sundress with no frills.
Grabbing my angel romance book, I shuffled over to the kitchen to see what Chef Brulier had made. When I entered the kitchen, he looked at my hair and outfit, a stark contrast to how I normally dressed, and raised an eyebrow.
“Too much elf wine,” I mumbled.
He smiled a little. “Breakfast is already on the table waiting.”
“Thanks.” I waved him off. It was nice not to have to cook all the meals anymore now that he was back.
Opening my book, I started to read as I pushed open the doors to the king’s personal dining hall, and got about halfway into the room before Raife spoke.
“Good morning, Kailani.”
I froze, slowly looking up from the book to see him sitting in front of the two plates of food. A small vase of fresh flowers had been set between them.
“You’re back.” I snapped the book shut and set it on the table, taking my hair into my hands and starting to braid it in an effort to freshen my appearance.
His face fell and he suddenly looked like I’d shot his horse. “Yeah… I got back last night. You don’t remember?”
Oh Maker. Did I see him when I was drunk or something?
“Remember what?” I asked, my stomach dropping.
His jaw clenched, and it was like a wall had gone up around him. “Giving me this map?” he said, and laid it on the table.
I glanced at the map, remembering asking Autumn to draw it, but not that she did or that I’d given it to the king.
“I’m sorry, I don’t recall that.”
He nodded curtly. “Well… that’s probably for the best. Hey, you should taste the food before it gets cold. We have a wedding planning meeting with the council.”
I swallowed hard, walking over to the table and sat down, wordlessly putting the food in my mouth. I couldn’t escape the feeling that I was missing something. I hadn’t seen him in weeks and this was the welcome I got? I eyed the king, glad to see he wasn’t bleeding or bruised anywhere.
“I’m glad to see you’re not injured,” I told him.
He nodded. “Your friend gave us a gold mine in drawing this map. Did you know the queen doesn’t bolt her storm drains down? I think that’s how your friend gets in and out of the castle walls.”
He pointed to the drawing of a drain on the map. I leaned forward, but because I hadn’t tied off my braid, my hair unfurled and fell in front of his face.
“Sorry.” I tucked it over one shoulder.
He looked up at me with searing blue eyes. “I like your hair down,” was all he said, and I swallowed hard.
“Time up? I’m starved,” he finally said. We’d moved the one-minute wait to three after the queen’s last poison had lasted longer.
I glanced at my pocket watch and nodded.
Something felt different between us. I couldn’t explain it, but he felt distant, and I didn’t know what to do about it.
Leaning forward, I pressed my lips to his ear and he stiffened.
“I… missed you,” I told him, reaching for his hand. I pulled back to look at him expectantly. Two weeks without him had been hard, especially after that amazing kiss we shared when he’d been drunk. I wasn’t sure where I stood with him and I didn’t like that. I didn’t want to be hot and cold.
He glanced up from one of his parchments as if he hadn’t heard me, and pulled his hand from mine. “I’ve gotta go over some war maps and it’s going to take up the whole table, so… you mind eating in the kitchen?”
His icy rejection cut me to my core. I had to bite the inside of my cheek to keep from crying as I stood and grabbed my plate. Turning, I booked it for the kitchen.
“Kailani?” he called as I walked away.
I spun. “Yes?” There was hope in my voice, hope that the kiss we shared before he left had meant something to him, drunk or not.
“Don’t forget your book.” He gestured to where I’d left the book on the table.
Wow.
It was clear I was the only one who enjoyed that kiss, or maybe his lie about not remembering it wasn’t a lie. Because he certainly wasn’t acting like a man who wanted more kisses from me. This was a fake marriage, and I needed to stop caring and treating it as otherwise.
I blasted through the double doors and slammed my plate on the counter. Chef Brulier looked at me but said nothing as I angrily scarfed down my food.
Raife Lightstone would curse the day he rejected me like that.
