“This one ticks all your boxes,” Lily says as we walk through the house we’re viewing. “It’s close to your office, has a large garden and a big private driveway, a stunning kitchen, a beautiful pool, and plenty of bedrooms. All this natural light is beautiful too. You barely have to renovate anything at all, maybe just a bit of paint here and there.”
I nod absentmindedly. Out of everything we’ve seen, this is the only one I’ve requested to view twice, yet somehow, I can’t bring myself to be excited about it. All I can think about is the look in Zane’s eyes when he saw me with Clifton. It’s been six weeks, and I haven’t been able to forget about it. The argument we had was a perfect reminder of why us being together is a bad idea, but I still can’t let go, even though this is the perfect opportunity to.
I’ve never seen him look so angry — he’s always had a temper, but despite our feud, it’s never been directed at me like that. He seemed hurt, disappointed in me, and I’m not sure what to make of it. To say that I struggle to trust Zane would be an understatement.
I’ve never been more scared of putting my faith in the wrong person. Zane has always been sly, and I’m terrified that giving in to my feelings will leave me holding the pieces he shattered. He’s come so close to breaking me so many times throughout the years — I’d never survive if I’m the one who hands him everything he needs to destroy me.
“God, this kitchen is just… everything,” Lily says, sighing as she twirls around, the biggest grin on her face. I try my hardest to match her energy, but all I can think about is Zane standing in this kitchen, his broad back to me as I sit on the kitchen island while he cooks, the scenario similar to the one at his house. My heart begins to race at the thought of him looking over his shoulder and smiling at me. I try my hardest to clear my head, but I can’t stop thinking about him for more than a few seconds.
Should I have explained who Clifton was? My instincts told me not to — that telling him anything at all would result in Zane targeting Clifton the way he used to target me. It’s obvious that Zane wants something from me, and he won’t stand for anyone getting in his way.
What terrifies me most is knowing that I should run from Zane… but I don’t want to. Perhaps I’m a glutton for punishment, but something about Zane enthralls me. Maybe it’s the knowledge that the man who used to torment me now wants me, but I’m worried it’s not that simple.
When I look into his eyes, I see something in them I recognize, something I never noticed before. When he touches me, none of it feels fake. I can’t help but be curious about him, and I can’t help but want to believe he’s changed.
I sigh and reach for my pocket. It isn’t until the taste of menthol hits my senses that I realize what I did. I stare down at the candy packet in disbelief as my body reacts to the memory of Zane pushing this same brand of mint into my mouth. My face heats, and desire rushes through my body, laced with a kind of longing I’ve never experienced before.
I’m hit with regret and a desire to rush to reassure him. Zane Windsor has always been my weakness, and now that we’re adults, that’s more true than ever. He’s the one I’ve always loved to hate, but has there always been an undercurrent of something more to it?
“Celeste.” I snap out of my thoughts to find Lily staring at me, her brows scrunched up in concern. She steps closer and gently brushes my hair out of my face, her expression searching. “This house is literally perfect for you. It looks like we walked right into your vision board, and you aren’t even excited.”
I place my hand on her arm and shake my head. “This house truly is perfect, isn’t it? I think it’s the one, you know?”
She grins and nods. “I think so too.”
I smile back at her, my stomach fluttering with excitement. She’s right — not only does it tick all my boxes, I can genuinely see myself living here. “I think I’m going to buy it,” I whisper, scared to even say the words. Moving in with my parents when I came home after college has been tough, and I’m more than eager to put an end to that. Just the thought of having true privacy excites me.
Lily nods and reaches for her bag, pulling out a champagne bottle. “I know. I suspected this was the one when you asked me to come view it with you again, but I knew for sure when I saw the nail polish you’re wearing today. It’s the one I bought for you last month, isn’t it?”
I glance down at my gray-green nail polish in surprise. I must’ve subconsciously chosen it. “Alpaca My Bags,” I mutter, grinning to myself. She bought it for me to use when I found my dream home and could finally pack my bags at my parents’ house. “I’m buying it.”
Lily pulls disposable champagne glasses from her bag and pops the cork, both of us jumping a little when it comes off, only to fall into a fit of laughter. She hands me a glass and holds her own up. “To new beginnings, and happy homes.”
A happy home. I know how much those words mean to her — it’s the one thing she lost and never regained. “To happy homes,” I murmur. “You know this’ll be your home too? You’ll always be welcome here.”
She nods and glances around the kitchen. “You’ll always be home to me, Celeste. No matter where we are. You know that, right?”
I nod and notice the concern she’s trying to hide. Lily hates it when I shut her out, but the more worried I am about something, the harder I find it to talk about it. She’s gotten used to me not telling her things until I’ve processed them in my head and I’m fully ready to share, but she can always tell when something is up, and I know it hurts her when I don’t confide in her.
What would she say if I tell her about Zane? Every time I try, my throat closes up. I’ve barely figured out how I feel about him myself, and even though I know she never would, I’m scared she’d judge me for it. He’s bullied me for years, and part of me is ashamed that we’ve now… I’m not even sure what we’re doing.
“Celeste?”
I blink in surprise and sigh when I realize that I’d been completely lost in thought again. “Sorry, Lil,” I murmur, feeling defeated.
“What’s going on with you?” she asks, her voice soft. “You’ve been like this for weeks now, absentminded and quiet. I know that’s not uncommon for you, and you’ll eventually tell me whatever’s on your mind, but in the meantime, you’re worrying me. What’s wrong? Is it work? Or… are you… are you mad about me working for Windsor Hotels? Ever since I started there, we just… we barely talk.”
I look into my best friend’s eyes and take a deep breath, steeling myself. “Lily,” I whisper, my voice breaking. “I kissed Zane Windsor, and I haven’t been able to stop thinking about him ever since.”
