“It’s going to happen again,” my wife tells me as she extends her legs on the beach, her white dress stained with sand. “The insecurity and jealousy won’t just go away overnight.” We’ve been here for three weeks now, both of us shirking our responsibilities without a single care for anything but each other. Our grandparents may be retired, but they’ll manage for a couple of weeks. They’ll have to, because nothing matters more than the woman sitting next to me.
“Then we’ll let it happen,” I tell her, my tone reassuring as I lie back on the sand, my eyes on the starry sky for a moment, before I turn to look at her. “We’ll go through the motions over and over until you trust me again. I just ask that you give me the same grace, Celeste. When my initial response isn’t quite right, please give me another chance and see through the pain. Be patient with me, Goddess. There will be times I’ll find your inability to trust me the way you used to unfair, and at times, I’ll lash out because I can’t quite trust you in return. I’d be lying if I said I’m not scared I’ll mess up somehow, or something might happen that you’ll misunderstand, and you’ll retaliate like you have before.”
She looks away, her gaze pensive. We’ve had countless conversations, but this is one we revisit almost every day in our attempts to make things work between us. Celeste and I discussed the past at length, both of us telling the other what we were thinking and how we were feeling, and how that still affects us today. It helps to know where she’s coming from, to see the disconnect between her feelings, her fears, and the truth that didn’t diminish any of it, but that did seem to invalidate it in her eyes.
In my efforts to push Celeste away for fear she’d hurt me all over again, I failed to truly understand her, failed to put myself in her shoes. That’s not a mistake I’ll make again.
“I just don’t want to make you unhappy, Zane. My biggest fear is that one day you’ll look back and wish you’d just let me go. I’m scared that trapping you in this marriage is depriving you of a chance to have a fresh start.”
I grin and reach for her hand. She takes it instantly, and I pull her closer until she’s lying right next to me, both of us facing each other. “Who says I can’t have a fresh start?” I ask. “You’re giving me one right now, aren’t you? I don’t want this with anyone but you — never have, never will. You are it for me, Celeste. I fell in love with you when I was fifteen, and I’ve been in love with you ever since.”
I lift her hand to my face and turn her palm toward me. Celeste’s breath hitches when I bring her wrist to my lips. “I vow to love you, and only you, forever and always. Through the ups and downs, I’ll be faithful, compassionate, and patient. I’ve loved you through all the seasons in life, Celeste, and I’ll continue to do so. Day after day, I will choose you, no matter what. That, my beautiful Celestial, is a vow.” I kiss the inside of her wrist, and she inhales sharply as she looks into my eyes, the sounds of waves crashing filling the air. Every day, I’ve made her new vows, ones that are untainted by the past, and each new one makes her smile in a way that lights up her whole face. The warm breeze makes her hair dance, and I don’t think she’s ever looked more beautiful.
I pull our joined hands to my chest, and she reaches for me, cupping my face with her free hand. “I love you,” she says. “I’m so scared, Zane, but I want this with you.”
I grin at her, feeling fully at ease for the first time in years. Nothing has ever felt more right than lying here with her in this moment, the starry sky above us and the waves crashing near our feet. “Then choose me, Celeste. Every single day, over and over again, no matter how hard of a choice that can be at times.”
“I do,” she says, and I breathe a sigh of relief. Can she feel it in the air? Something is different tonight, almost like we’ve finally let go of everything that stood between us, like the endless conversations did what we both quietly hoped they would. “I do, Zane, and I vow to continue doing that for as long as you’ll let me.”
I pull my wife close, my hand wrapping into her hair as I dip my head to kiss her. My touch is desperate tonight, filled with silent promises I can’t wait to uphold, and she responds in kind. “God, I love you,” I whisper against her mouth, and she whimpers, her hand wrapping around the back of my neck.
I chuckle and run my hand down her body, grabbing her leg and pulling it over my waist, earning myself the sweetest smile. Fuck, I don’t think I’ll ever get enough of her. “See?” I tell her as I turn us over. She lands on her back, a soft gasp escaping that sexy little mouth of hers. “Moments like these make everything worth it. We could argue like crazy, and just one single smile from you would still make it the best day of my life.” Her hair spreads across the sand beautifully, and I hold myself up on my forearms, taking a moment to just look at her — really look at her. I’ve loved her since I was a child, and fuck, she truly does seem to get more beautiful every time I lay my eyes on her.
It’s the way she still smiles at me like she used to, the way her gaze is filled with a look that’s always only been mine, and it’s that little sigh when her gaze roams over my face, only to settle on my lips. “I love you,” I tell her, the force of it hitting me suddenly. My eyes fall closed, and I drop my forehead to hers, my breathing erratic. “The good, the bad, and everything in between. I love all of it, Celeste, every single part of you.”
“Zane,” she whispers against my lips in that way she knows I can’t resist. “I love you more.”
I chuckle and pull away to look into her eyes. “Impossible,” I whisper, my heart overflowing. I take in the stunning shades of brown and amber before letting my gaze roam down. “Did you know you’re the only woman I’ve ever kissed? I’ve never wanted anyone but you, Celeste. That will never change. You truly are it for me, and you have been from the moment I learned what it meant to be in love.”
She tenses underneath me, her expression torn, like she isn’t sure she believes me. “But when we were in Hawaii,” she begins to say, her voice trailing off. She’s battling her insecurities, and I watch the fight leave her eyes as she takes a moment to choose her words, the way we agreed to.
“I told you I always find myself buried deep inside the women I share a bed with. It was a petty remark meant to hurt you, but it wasn’t a complete lie. I just failed to mention the only woman I’d ever fallen asleep next to was you, and baby, we both know that before then, we’d never gone to bed without you seducing me first.”
She parts her lips, a gleeful kind of shock flashing through her eyes. “I never seduced you!” she says, her voice filled with mirth.
“No? Then what do you call this thing you’re doing that’s making your chest rise and fall against me so seductively?”
She bites back a smile and shakes her head. “It’s called breathing, Zane.”
“Seduction, that’s what it is.”
“Okay, In-Zane. Just wait till you catch a glimpse of my ankles. That’ll really blow your mind.”
I laugh with her and bury a hand through her hair, my eyes on hers. “Yeah? You’ll have to show me.”
I kiss her, and her nails rake over my scalp in a needy way as she opens up for me, her tongue tangling with mine. The way she hooks her leg over my hip makes me moan, but the way she rolls her hips is what does me in. “Celestial,” I whisper, my breathing ragged.
Her lashes flutter, and she looks into my eyes as her hand slips underneath my t-shirt, her gaze needy. I obey her silent commands and push off her for a moment, dragging my tee up and over my head. She sucks in a breath when it hits the sand, and my heart skips a beat. I don’t think I’ve ever been more in love with her.
My wife throws me a provocative look as she reaches for her dress and pulls it up, and I just stare at her, enchanted. She looks fucking breathtaking in the moonlight, thousands of stars above us. Her hair moves with the warm breeze, and she smiles when I hook my fingers around her panties.
“It’s crazy that you’re mine,” I murmur without thinking.
Celeste smiles as I drag the fabric down her legs, my movements slow and intentional tonight. She follows my lead the moment I finish undressing her, and I grin as she pushes my boxers down with a lot less patience. The way she wants me will never get old.
“I’ve always been yours,” she says when I settle between her legs, the wind caressing our bodies. “It’s only ever been you for me, too, Zane.”
“What?” I ask, disarmed.
She nods and smiles sweetly as one of her hands runs down my chest, the other settling in my hair. “Only you,” she whispers, her fingers curling around my cock as she lines me up.
I look into her eyes, needing to know. “You were engaged to someone else,” I whisper, my tone harsher than intended.
Celeste nods and rolls her hips, making me push into her a fraction. “And yet you’re the only man I’ve ever kissed, Zane. The only one that’s ever touched me like this.”
My breathing is erratic as I push into my wife a little deeper, my need for her incomprehensible. “Mine,” I whisper, my eyes fluttering closed for a moment.
“Yours,” she agrees mindlessly, and I push all the way into her, unable to take it. She feels too good, and my emotions are overflowing tonight. My desire to be close to her is insatiable.
Celeste moans and hooks her legs around my hips, her head falling back. Fucking stunning. “Look at you,” I murmur, entirely mesmerized. “Look at the way you’re moaning for your husband. The way you take my cock is fucking breathtaking, Celeste.”
“Oh God,” she whispers when I move my hips and begin to thrust shallowly, taking my time with her. I’ve never felt closer to her, never felt more united. I didn’t even realize how much I missed this.
“You’re so beautiful, Celeste. Do you have any idea how crazy it is that I get to call you my wife? Fuck, I might well be the luckiest man alive.”
She smiles and pulls my lips to hers. “I don’t know about that. But I definitely am the luckiest woman in the world, because I still get to call you mine.”
“I’ll always be yours,” I promise, her as my hand runs down her body until I’ve got it nestled over her hip. I pull out almost entirely, loving the way she whimpers for me, before thrusting back into her hard and fast, taking her the way she likes it, and I just know I’ll never get enough of her.
Ten years from now, I’ll still love her the same.
