EVERYONE’S SPIRITS lifted the next morning when Blaze said the magic words that made our entire risky gambit worth it. “Most of the concerning activity that I noticed in the city has stopped. It seems like the groups who were after the bounty have backed off. We’re in the clear to keep up our search.”
I knew that we needed to accept the wins where we found them, so I didn’t bother dwelling on the lack of information that search had brought us so far. We’d found a few puzzle pieces, and they would lead us to more clues. They had to. With the crew at my side, I already had one major advantage.
I strode to the side of the kitchen where Garrison was cooking bacon and Talon pouring one of his bottles of… something into a frosted mug. I looked down at it, and the immediate revulsion that rose in my chest was unprecedented. “What even is that?” I asked, leaning closer to him.
“Kombucha,” he said, swirling it around and taking a long gulp before pushing it toward me. “Do you want to try it?”
The offer came genuinely, and I reached for the mug that he extended, my fingers brushing across his as I took the mug. The contact of our hands sent a jolt of heat through my chest, and I ran my tongue over my teeth to keep the feelings at bay. His strong fingers brought back plenty of memories.
I lifted the glass mug to my lips and took a small sip, coughing and wrinkling my nose the moment the sour flavor registered.
“You like this?” I asked, scanning the counter for a less repulsive drink to wipe away the horrendous taste that plagued my tongue.
Talon shrugged, taking another gulp. “It’s an acquired taste.”
Garrison chipped in. “Don’t let him fool you. Only he likes that battery acid.”
“Thanks for the warning,” I said, rolling my eyes and looking over Garrison’s shoulder at the crispy bacon that he was now pulling from the pan. When he’d placed the last piece on his plate, I reached around him and grabbed one, plopping it in my mouth with a small smile before he could stop me.
Garrison didn’t seem bothered as he looked over and met my eyes, his filled with just as much amusement as mine had been. I had the sense that reaction was genuine too. No masks or barriers, just Garrison and his genuine self. The realization sent an appreciative tingle over my skin.
I didn’t think he could ever fathom how much that single look meant to me.
I poured my usual bowl of cereal and ambled over to the dining table. Talon had just sat down, and Julius was standing by one of the other chairs with his mug of coffee. As I slipped past him, I allowed my arm to brush his chest. His back straightened at my touch, and his hand came to rest on my hip just for a second to guide me past him.
Such a gentle gesture, but it sparked a flame of its own. I didn’t look back at him as I took my seat, still chewing on my stolen piece of bacon.
“Do you want hot chocolate, Dess?” Garrison hollered across the kitchen.
I laughed. “Of course, I do.”
A small, almost imperceptible smile pulled to Julius’s face as he nodded at something in his own mind. I wondered what was on the agenda for the day, but before I could ask, Talon looked at Julius. “Are we still planning on haggling with that weapons supplier today?”
Julius exhaled slowly. “Well, it sounds as though sudden assassination should no longer be a major concern. And our stash does need a top-up after last night. I think it’s better if it’s just the two of us, though. Dess’s former captor will still have his own people looking for her, and there’s no reason for her to leave the apartment and risk being seen for this.”
“I should come,” Garrison pointed out. “You two can’t haggle properly to save your lives. I’ll have this guy wrapped around my finger in no time.”
“I can stay here with Dess,” Blaze piped up from where he was perched on the sofa with his laptop. “Happy to stand guard and protect her… even though it’ll probably be the other way around if someone does come crashing in here.” He grinned at me, and I had to smile back.
“That’s fine with me,” I said. After last night, my nerves could use a little break from the action anyway.
Garrison gulped down his bacon at a speed that could have rivaled Blaze with a plate of pasta, and the three of them headed out. I polished off the last of my cereal and went over to join the hacker on the sofa. He seemed intent on his computer even though he’d said the threat was mostly gone.
Still carrying out his own search for information to unravel my mysteries, presumably. I admired the way his intense concentration honed the lines of his handsome face, but didn’t he deserve a break too?
“I’m sorry,” he said before I could speak. “I still haven’t turned up anything else that seems like a solid lead. The image searches will keep running, though. It could take a few more days before they’ve combed the entire internet.”
“The app doesn’t need you watching it to run those, right?” I said, nudging his laptop away from him.
He set it down on the coffee table in front of us, playful curiosity lighting in his eyes. “Do you have something else in mind that you need me for?”
“Yep. I need you to queue up another one of those Spy Times episodes, if you don’t mind.”
He laughed, exactly the response I’d been looking for, and leaned over to tap on his laptop some more. “I’d be more than happy to. Maybe I’ll even let you watch two.”
I raised my eyebrows. “So generous of you.”
I couldn’t have said exactly what it was about this show that hooked me so much. I could tell that a lot of parts of it were pretty silly, and most of the missions would have been total failures if the spy and her husband had handled them like that in real life, speaking from experience. But maybe that was why right there. It had the same kinds of scenarios and problems I was facing right now—and had faced throughout my life—but through a breezy, fun-loving sort of lens as if none of it could be that horrible.
Wouldn’t it be nice if the challenges I ran into from here on could be laughed off and conquered with a few clever tools?
When the credits for the episode rolled across the screen, I stretched my arms over my head, sinking deeper into the cozy sofa and feeling more relaxed than I had in at least a couple of days. I looked over at Blaze to check whether he’d enjoyed the break too.
He wasn’t looking at the TV but at me, but he did look happy. A soft smile played on his lips, and there was a light in his bright brown eyes that wasn’t quite like any I’d noticed before. It brought a flutter into my chest.
He was a striking man, after all.
“What are you so pleased about?” I asked, aiming for a teasing tone but really wanting to know underneath.
Blaze’s smile widened slightly, the corners of his eyes crinkling to match it. “I like seeing you really relax. I know you haven’t gotten to very often. And I’m glad that I can help you do that.”
The previous flutter turned into a swell of affection. He’d spoken simply but honestly, and I wasn’t used to having people care about my contentment that much. I knew the other men in the crew would fight for me, but Blaze was the one who’d gone out of his way to bring joy into my life.
“I appreciate it,” I said, a husky note creeping into my voice without my meaning it to. I had the urge to reach over and stroke my fingers over the light red stubble that gave his otherwise boyish face a more rugged look that was undeniably appealing.
Before I could decide whether to follow that urge, Blaze’s smile slanted. He glanced at his hands and then at me again. “I don’t want you to take that the wrong way. I really am glad to help you just as a friend. I know when I came on too strong before, it made you really uncomfortable—I definitely wouldn’t push for anything you’re not into.”
My pulse stuttered, remembering the moment when I’d rammed him against the safe house apartment’s kitchen counter in what’d felt like self-defense. The memory made my throat constrict now, but mostly because I knew he hadn’t deserved that level of aggression. “Blaze…”
He held up his hands. “Really, it’s okay. I can see that you’ve got more of that kind of connection with the other guys, and maybe something’s even happened with them already, and that’s okay. It’s great that you’re getting what you need with someone. I’d never assume it has to be me. I just want you to know that I’m here for you too, in whatever ways you need me.”
My throat closed up completely. I couldn’t imagine ever voicing all of my feelings the way he had just laid them bare before me. It was hard to picture any of the other men expressing themselves so plainly either. He didn’t hide like Garrison or avoid feeling like Talon.
Blaze knew himself, and he didn’t hesitate to share who he was. But at the same time, he wasn’t forceful, and he didn’t blame me for anything. He took responsibility for how he felt without pressuring me for even an ounce more than I wanted to offer. As his words sank in, they dissolved any lingering hesitation I might have felt about his interest in me.
Did he really think I wasn’t attracted to him at all? I guessed my reaction in the safe house had driven the idea home too forcefully for him to notice any indications I might have given off since.
I couldn’t stand the thought of him going on thinking that I was somehow repulsed by him when it was so far from the truth.
I grappled with my words for a few seconds before I managed to speak. “You should know—it was never you I had a problem with. Not really. There’s just… I have kind of an instinctive response to people getting flirty or acting sweet in a specific way. I had… a really bad experience with a seduction that started like that.”
Even as I said the words, a realization clicked together in my head as it never had before. I didn’t like that my reactions were so off-kilter to what was normal, but it was useful at the same time. I’d never had to worry that I’d be led astray by a man putting the moves on me in the middle of an assignment.
Which was very convenient for my handlers too, wasn’t it? And it was a pretty big coincidence that the man who’d warped his sweet words and caresses into something horrifying had just happened to approach me the very first time Noelle had given me a few hours of freedom to enjoy myself at that dance club. I’d been a clueless fourteen-year-old, and he’d homed right in on me… And Noelle hadn’t even seemed that surprised when I’d told her afterward what had happened.
Had she set the whole thing up? Maybe even paid that man to treat me that way, to force himself on me—
Inwardly, I cringed away from the memory. But it made a sick kind of sense. I’d just been noticing my physical urges, starting to daydream about the romances and sexual encounters that managed to seep into the sidelines of the movies I was allowed to watch. Scarring me like that had been a surefire way to prevent those sorts of feelings from compromising me in the field.
My anger toward the household and whoever had brought me into it flared with an even sharper edge than before.
The insinuation of my words clearly hadn’t been lost on Blaze. His own eyes flashed with fury. “Someone hurt you.”
“It doesn’t matter now,” I said. “It was almost ten years ago.”
“Ten years is nothing.” He reached for his laptop. “Tell me everything you remember about him. I’ll find him, and I’ll burn his whole fucking life down.”
The vehemence in his voice told me he meant it. He might be the kindest of the men in the crew, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t be fierce when he needed to be. That brutal protectiveness only increased the draw I felt toward him.
“You can’t,” I said. “I got free after it was over, and I killed him. He’s gone.” And the woman who might or might not have orchestrated the whole thing was dead too. It was all behind me except in the marks left on my soul. “I don’t even really want to talk about it. I’d rather leave the past in the past.”
Blaze let out a growl that electrified me, as if he wished he could raise the predator from the dead just to murder him all over again. But he took a deep breath and nodded. “Understood. I’m sorry.”
“You don’t have to apologize,” I said quickly. “I like that you’d want to defend me. I—” I hesitated and then barreled onward. “I am attracted to you. I’m just not sure…”
I had the feeling if I asked him to turn on his charms again, my body would react instinctively no matter what my mind wanted. But it was hard to picture him putting on the same domineering front the other men either came by naturally or could pretend so easily, like Garrison. I didn’t know if that was how I’d want Blaze anyway.
Resolve gripped me. I gave Blaze a gentle push into the back of the sofa and straddled him in one swift movement. He stared up at me, his pupils dilating with obvious hunger. “Dess?”
A sly smile curved my lips. “Maybe it’ll work out if I’m the one doing the seducing. We could at least see how it goes.”
He kept his hands carefully at his sides, but a grin of his own took his face from handsome to stunning. “I’ve always been a fan of experimentation.”
Those words sent a heady quiver right down to my sex. Licking my lips, I leaned over him and looped my arms loosely around his neck. He smelled tantalizing too, with a crisply fresh cologne that reminded me of the ocean.
He was letting me take the lead, waiting to see what I’d take from him. I figured I’d start by stealing a kiss.
I dipped my head so my lips brushed his. Blaze kissed me back, but gently, cautiously, still giving me room to decide how far I wanted to go. Only when I melded my mouth to his more emphatically did he let out a rough noise and let his tongue flick out to play with mine.
I wanted more—I wanted his hands all over me. The thought of directing him to my exact desires sent a thrill racing through my veins.
Tipping back just enough to speak, I murmured against his lips. “Take my shirt off.”
He complied without hesitation, a hotter spark dancing in his eyes now. His hands weren’t the only thing I wanted on me.
“Kiss my neck,” I added, tilting my head to the side to give him easier access. “Until I moan.”
“My pleasure,” Blaze murmured, and adjusted me against him so that he could bring his mouth to that sensitive slope of skin. His hands slid up and down my bare sides as he worked over my neck with lips and tongue and nips of his teeth.
I was gasping in less than a minute. It wasn’t much longer before another skillful swipe of his tongue sent such a giddy surge of need through me that a moan spilled from my lips.
Blaze eased back and winked at me. “Mission accomplished. What next, my lady?”
I grasped the base of his shirt and tugged it upward. “This definitely needs to come off too.”
He raised his arms so I could peel the garment off him. I sat there for a moment on his lap, running my eyes and my hands over the toned planes of his torso. He was the leanest of the Chaos Crew’s men, but strength emanated from every one of those wiry muscles. I could tell he’d worked hard to build that trimly sculpted physique.
“Like what you see?” he teased playfully, desire burning in his gaze.
“Oh, yes. Very much.” I bent forward to claim another kiss, drawing this one out until we were both breathless. My nipples grazed his chest through the fabric of my bra and immediately pebbled.
“My breasts would appreciate your attention,” I instructed.
Blaze chuckled eagerly and trailed his fingers up my back to unhook my bra. Then he cupped both my breasts with his slender fingers, his nimble thumbs stroking along the curve and rolling my nipples in tandem. The second time, he pressed a little harder with the perfect flick at the end, jolting another gasp out of me. He clearly knew exactly what he was doing.
I arched into him, sucking in a breath as my pussy ground against his groin where his cock pressed rigidly behind the fly of his slacks. A faint groan reverberated out of Blaze in turn, but he kept to his orders, massaging my breasts and alternating between pinching and stroking the nipples until I was rocking against him with fraying control.
I traced a finger down his abs to the waist of his pants. “I need more.”
“Fuck, yes.” He teased his lips along my jaw. “Tell me exactly what you want, Dess.”
“Pants off,” I mumbled. “Both of us. Now.”
With a rough chuckle, he squirmed out of his own slacks with a little help from my grasping fingers and then lifted me over him to yank down my sweats. As I stood there with my feet braced on the sofa and his face level with my pussy, a deeper, hotter urge came over me.
“Kiss me,” I demanded. “Right—right here.”
I brushed my fingers over my panties, and a grin of pure delight sprang to Blaze’s face. “It would be an honor,” he said, wetting his lips, and pulled my panties down too.
He gripped my thighs and swept his tongue over all of me, from my clit down to my channel. A whimper tumbled out of me at the rush of bliss. But it was only just getting started.
Blaze devoured me, suckling my clit and then plunging his tongue right inside me. His hands squeezed my thighs and slid to my ass. He spread me a little wider, but I barely wobbled in his firm grasp.
“That’s right,” he whispered against me. “So fucking delicious. I could do this for weeks.”
I tipped back my head, my fingers curling into the fine strands of his hair. His tongue was both hard and soft where it needed to be, flicking small circles around me teasingly before dipping inside again, conjuring thrilling quivers through my entire being. My hips swayed toward him, still steadied by his hold. With a pleased hum that reverberated into my pussy, he brought me to the trembling edge of release, eased back just slightly, then repeated the torture all over again.
An ache spread between my thighs, the hunger to be filled more than his tongue could manage. I grasped his hair tighter, whimpering and gasping before I managed to speak.
“Blaze, I want you inside of me.”
I didn’t have to ask twice. He drew back, licking my slickness off his mouth with a satisfied glance at me, and grabbed a condom packet out of the pocket of his discarded slacks beside me. “Never hurts to be prepared,” he said with a quirk of his eyebrows, but his tone was all heat.
The second he’d rolled it over his cock, I sank down and pulled at him so he sprawled over me on the sofa. I wanted him on top of me now, driving us toward our climaxes.
The soft kiss he offered me and the tender way he slid inside me didn’t set off any alarm bells now. He was giving me exactly what I’d asked for. I was still in control.
Maybe someday I’d be able to enjoy sex like this without having to call all the shots. Eventually my body had to catch on to the fact that not every man who was gentle with me wanted to hurt me, right?
Blaze dappled kisses across my cheeks, jaw, and neck, bracing himself with one hand and stroking my breasts with the other. His hips pumped his cock in and out of me, deeper and deeper with every thrust. I raised my knees on either side of him automatically and cried out when he hit an even more sensitive spot inside me. My hand came up to clutch his shoulder as if I needed to hold him here with me to make sure he’d stay.
Our gazes locked for a second, nothing but passion and awe in his eyes. They started to haze as his thrusts sped up, and I knew his release was near. I rocked my hips up to meet him, chasing my own. So close—so fucking close—
He slammed into me, and his lips parted with a stuttered groan. We tumbled over the edge together, me quaking against him, his cock pulsing inside me. I clung to him, holding him close to me as the afterglow rolled over my body.
After a minute, Blaze tipped himself into a sitting position, pulling me onto his lap with him. He beamed at me, and my chest filled with the joy of the moment—both the physical release and the fact that I’d found a way to connect with this amazing man too.
I was just about to reach for my clothes when the door to the apartment swung open, and the rest of the crew strode in, stopping with a jerk when they saw us in our naked embrace.
