Oh my god, I’m kissing Crew.
Oh my god, his lips are as lush and as pillowy as they look, all soft and full, but with a hint of toughened skin, giving the slightest bit of a graze. Goose bumps spread along my arms, and chills follow.
What the hell am I doing?
“What the hell are you doing?” he whispers, his breath fanning along my face.
My eyes snap open and I tug back, but only by a hair.
“Holy shit. I’m sorry.”
My hands latch on to his biceps, and his frown deepens, but he dips his chin as if to ask if I’m okay.
But as he silently asks, the reality of the situation hits.
First, it’s that I kissed Crew Taylor, and he didn’t kiss me back.
Second, there’s no noise in the background behind me. The room’s gone silent, when it was full of banter and movement two minutes before. My blood warms, my palms flying to my cheeks, and sure enough, they’re hot to the touch.
Sighing, I drop my forehead to Crew’s chest.
“Are you mad?”
“I might be.”
“I panicked.”
“Yeah, I got that.”
Yeah, he’s mad. His tone leaks with irritation, frustration.
Condemnation.
“Everyone is staring, aren’t they?”
His chest rises with a deep breath, and so I lift mine, meeting his eyes. “Only Julius.”
“Wow, even his name is—”
“Stop,” Crew snaps.
My lips smack closed, and I nod, lowering my hands to my side as I take a deep breath.
Slowly, I turn to the should be the lead in a porno male with an awkward wave and tight smile. “Uh… hi.”
“Hi.” He doesn’t miss a beat, his gaze flicking to the broody man beside me and back. He takes a slow step closer and offers me his hand, so I give him mine.
He squeezes and little imaginative hearts dance in front of my eyes. “I’m Julius.”
“I’m a virgin.”
His eyes go wide.
Mine go wider.
And then he laughs and I’m certain I’m about to catch fire.
“Oh my god.” I tear my hand away, and I must try to retreat because, next thing I know, I’m bumping into Crew and his hand latches on to my hip, forcing me not to run.
“A virgin, huh?” He couldn’t possibly grin wider, and I sort of want to die, but I’m glad I don’t when I get to watch the path his hand takes as it rises, gliding along his tattooed chest. “Haven’t met one of those in a while.”
“I’m working on it.”
“For fuck’s sake,” is huffed near my ear.
I go to look over my shoulder, but then Julius speaks again.
“Are you now?” He crosses his arms. “This guy helping you out with that?”
I scoff. “You should have seen his face when I—”
Crew’s fingers dig into my hip bone in warning, his fingers hot and tight against my skin, and my words die in my throat, my every muscle curling into the next as all sorts of spicy images flash in my mind.
I swallow, and Julius’s grin manages to spread wider.
“Julius, down boy,” an unfamiliar male voice teases.
Beyond Julius, my gaze finds the new incomer, and oh god.
“No…”
“Yeah,” a sweeter, softer voice sings.
Not a moment later, a petite woman is at my side. She’s young with white-blonde hair, big brown eyes, and a very pregnant belly. She can’t be much older than me, if at all.
The woman playfully scowls at Crew, literally pries his hands from my hips, and wraps her arm through mine, dragging me away.
“Yeah,” she teases playfully as she guides me out the back door. “I hit the husband jackpot.”
“You didn’t think so when they tested you!”
“Hey, Xavier. Fuck off.” She smiles sweetly, and Xavier, as she called him, comes into view.
He’s also shirtless and perched on the edge of the pool, beer bottle dangling from his fingers. He winks my way, quickly going back to his conversation with the girl beside him.
“That’s X, Will’s younger brother. As soon as the other two found out Willie told me he loved me, Julius snuck into my bed. He tried to get me under the sheets, so I walked over and smashed the four-inch wedge I was wearing into his balls. He thought he could fool me, but I know every inch of my man.” She smiles proudly as she releases me and taps her palm to one of the ice chests pushed against the wall. “Whatever you’d like is yours, but if you take the last one, grab a new case from the garage and refill.”
“My name’s Davis,” I say lamely, but she simply grins.
“I know.” She grips the back of a wicker chair, glancing toward the living room. “With a husband as hot as mine and brothers-in-law I love, do you really think I’d allow a single woman to walk through my door without knowing who she is and why she’s here?”
“If my husband looked like that, I might make a ‘no women allowed’ rule.”
“Exactly.” She wiggles her brows. “Remember that if you and Crew go far.”
“Oh god. No. Oh no.” My head shakes wildly. “We’re not dating. See, I panicked inside when Hot Twin One came at me, and it was the only thing I could think of at the time. Not that I haven’t thought about it before, but I definitely wouldn’t have done it if my brain cells were circuiting properly.”
The woman laughs. “Relax. I was kidding. I have to go check on the food, but please, unwind, hop in the pool, eat whatever you can find, and if you need me, ask for Layla.” With that, she winks and walks away.
I decide I like Layla.
Feeling far more comfortable than before, I breathe a sigh of relief and accept her offer for something cold to drink. I take the first thing on the top and pop it open, unconcerned with what it is. The chilled aluminum meets my bottom lip right as Crew appears, making me jump, the contents of the can splashing over me.
“Holy shit, it’s cold.” I bend, pulling the material from my skin.
Crew’s eyes fall to the wet spot, quickly snapping back to mine. “You need to relax.”
“And you need to warn a girl when she’s about to walk into a Magic Mike audition,” I hiss.
Frown deepening, he presses forward. “How do you expect to fuck a man if you can’t even handle attention from one?”
“You can’t push me straight to the top of the male scale. You’ve got to start me off slow, and I’m pretty sure I peak at a low six. That man?” I hook my thumb over my shoulder. “Is next-level shit.”
His jaw tics, and I wait for it. “And that man thinks you’re fucking adorable.”
Okay, not what I was expecting him to say.
That makes no sense. “But… I acted like a crazy person.”
“His ex would sleep on his front porch when they would fight, so he couldn’t leave without talking to her.” Twin number two steps up beside Crew, his grin as ridiculous as his brother’s. “Crazy is kind of his thing.”
The corners of my mouth lift. “Willie, I presume?”
“Aww, he told you about me?” Willie presses a hand over his heart, stumbling when Crew shoves him in the arm. Willie smiles and gone is the teasing glint in the man’s eyes. All that’s left is a sweet, sincere fondness for the boy I grew up with.
“Yeah, girl, I’m Willie.” He grabs my hand, cupping it with his own, a moment before letting go and snagging a fresh beer for himself. “Nice to meet you, Davis. Surprised you don’t know my brother and some of his boys already. He plays baseball for Avix.”
That explains the sugary swag and lean, muscular builds.
“I haven’t been to a game since—” I pause, cutting a quick look at Crew. Since the night of their first game their freshman year at Avix, the only one Crew played before he was kicked out of college. “You know, I didn’t make it to a single one since I started here.”
“If you can’t make it before the end of this season, don’t bother with next. Two of their best players graduate with you this year, so these punks will probably fuck up my fantasy league for next season anyway.”
“Dick!” someone shouts from the left.
Willie grins, his comment clearly made to purposely tease those around us. “Well, hey, glad you came, the more here to celebrate, the merrier.”
“Celebrate?”
“He didn’t tell you?” Willie smacks Crew in the chest. “This man’s the only person who knows the power of my seed. We’re going to pull the string on these popper things and see if I get myself a poker table or if Layla’s getting a massage chair.”
“She’s pregnant. She wins.”
“Honey, she’s been winning. Trust me. Twice most days, all right, but daddy needs a new card table, so he can win enough to buy her that damn chair.” Willie chuckles, and I pretend to follow.
“He means he makes her come twice a day.”
My head snaps to Crew, and I glare. “I know.”
“Sure, you did.”
My stupid cheeks threaten to heat, so I spin away from Crew, blocking him as best I can while still facing Willie. “So this is a gender-reveal party?”
He shrugs. “I guess. We barbeque often, at one house or another, usually once a week, but yeah, we’re adding that to the fun today.”
“You want a boy?”
“Nope.” His eyes seem to drift on their own accord and I follow his line of sight to the platinum-blonde woman bobbing to the music in front of the food table, one hand cupping her belly, the other holding a half-eaten slice of watermelon.
He wants a mini-Layla.
Aaand I’m back to melting.
He walks away, and once again, I’m left beside Crew, but this time, he doesn’t speak. He quietly drinks from his water bottle, so I do the same.
It’s no more than an hour later that I find myself laughing hysterically at something a guy named Neo says and doubling over when another named Matt acts out the scene Neo shared.
Apparently, Matt works at the bar Crew manages, and he came equipped with a shitload of stories to tell.
It’s closer to six now, the sun’s still beating heavily above us, so I quietly leave the group conversation in search of something to drink. Deciding on good ole H2O, I walk over to the fan plugged in on the patio.
Lifting my hair, I let the slightly cooler air blow along my neck for a few minutes.
My eyes travel the yard, from the grassy area on one side to the pool and lawn chairs on the other, noting how people casually go from one group to the next, some even shouting across the space to get whoever’s attention it is they’re after. There’s a sense of comfort among them all, making it appear they’ve known each other for years. Maybe they have.
A blond guy standing next to a girl Layla introduced as Toni catches my eye, saluting me with a wink before looking back to her, and that snags twin number one’s attention. Julius looks over, grinning around the neck of his beer bottle, and he doesn’t look away.
“You might be in a T-shirt and jeans with polka dot shoes, but you’ve got a bathing suit dangling from your bag, and those little flowery strings alone are keeping the single men here locked onto your every move.”
I look at Crew, but he continues facing forward.
He takes a small sip from what looks like lemonade and continues, “They’re waiting for the moment you disappear, and hoping when you come back, it’s all you’ve got on.”
My stomach dips with an unfamiliar sensation, a mix of nervous excitement sprinkled with something a lot like cool confidence, but I don’t allow it to spread.
I swallow. “So why tease me earlier?”
Crew’s quiet a moment before he says, “I’d tell you if I knew.”
He meets my eyes, and then he’s gone.
A little over an hour later and everyone has migrated toward the water.
I’ve been sitting along the edge in the shallow end for about fifteen minutes, laughing at the poorly played game of volleyball happening in the center, when Julius lowers himself beside me.
“So…” He dangles his feet as I am, nudging me with his solid shoulder.
“Yeah,” I drag out with a sigh. “Awkward, and I vibe sometimes.”
“Hey, it was pretty memorable, and is that not the point?” That grin of his grows into a smirk.
I eye him as I take a small sip from my freshly popped soda can. “What makes you think I want you to remember me?”
“See, that’s the beauty of it, Davis the Virgin.” He leaps down then, submerging his body in the water before popping back up. He brings his hands up, wiping them over his face, and then runs them through his hair, purposely flicking the cool water along my thighs. “It’s the ones who don’t try for the attention who end up earning it.”
“Well, if you would be so kind and point yours in another direction, that would be great.”
“And why would I do that?”
“Because there is no way a girl like me could handle an ego like yours. You’re a Polo model gone rogue, and I’m more on level with the dude from the insurance commercials.”
He barks a laugh, gaining the attention of a few of his friends swimming nearby. Crew flicks his eyes from Julius to me but moves them back to Willie just as fast.
“See. Shit like that…” Julius darts forward, and before I realize what’s coming, I’m already lifted and lowered into the water.
I gasp as the chilled water swashes over my heated middle, my gaze settling on his.
He’s shorter than Crew by a few inches, so I don’t have to stretch my neck as far up with him directly in front of me. Water droplets roll down the tattoos covering his bronzed skin, and while I do my best not to follow the path they take, my best is a solid C minus.
“It’s shit like that,” he repeats in a tantalizing tease. “That guarantees I won’t forget the sweet, not quite shy… virgin.”
I smack him in the chest, and he laughs good-heartedly, slowly backing away.
“I’m pretty sure it’s the virgin thing.”
“I’m pretty sure you’re right.” He winks, disappearing under the water, and takes off to the other side.
Shaking my head, I breathe a little sigh, a small smile on my lips. I know he’s kidding. While the whole virgin thing was probably a shock, mainly because of the way I casually confused it for my name, he’s not mocking me. He is simply a big fat flirt, and honestly, I’m proud I can recognize the difference.
I’d say lesson number two has been mastered.
Thank you, Mr. Taylor.
I push off the side, dunk under the water, and do a few laps. If swimming underwater from one end to the other counts as “laps.” I never did learn how to swim overhand, but I see no need for that. Out of breath, I move to the little bench seat on the curved edge near the middle.
Giving my hair a quick shake out with my fingers, I flip the top over and lean back on my palms, so the sun can beat down on my face.
It can’t be but a few minutes later, when the water sloshes around me, and I don’t have to open my eyes to know who sat down.
“I knew he’d make his way to you eventually,” he claims.
Opening one eye, I glance at Crew.
His attention is pointed at the game of keep-away he abandoned. “What did he have to say?”
“He wanted to make sure I wasn’t dying from embarrassment.”
“And that requires touching you?”
“I get the feeling he’s a touchy-feely guy.” I look across the water to where Julius mirrors Willie’s position, hanging off the edge of Layla’s raft. “I really—”
Crew’s sharp scoff cuts me off, and I face him just in time to catch the shake of his head.
“What?”
“You don’t know him enough to like him, Davis.”
“Have you never heard of love at first sight?”
His head swivels my way so fast, I would bet his vision needs a moment to catch up, but when he spots the hidden grin on my lips, his glare goes from pissy to puzzled.
“Kidding. Obviously.” My smile breaks free. “All I was going to say was I really appreciate you bringing me today. I don’t hang out with people outside of school, so this has been fun.”
Crew’s brows crash, and he looks off, attempting to hide the way he clears his throat. “I’m glad you’re having fun.”
“Uh-huh, so long as I’m not having too much fun, right?” I tease, dropping myself back into the water.
Crew’s eyes come to mine and a small grin crosses his lips, but he erases it, as usual.
I wait until he looks off and then swim in closer, pressing the bottom of my foot against the pebbled wall. Grabbing both his legs, I yank as hard as I can, and thanks to the water, I’m able to pull his big-ass body straight in.
He sinks, coming back up with a splash, his sunglasses floating off around him. “Oh, you think you’re cute.”
I swim away, yelping and holding my breath when he tugs me back, and I go down, but he’s got us back to the edge in seconds. In a flash, I’m tossed over his shoulder and he’s stepping out, right onto the diving board.
“Crew Taylor, I will castrate you!” I shout. “I know exactly how to do it without cutting too deep!” I tug at his black tank top.
“Rip it and pay,” he warns.
“Why are you wearing this in the water anyway?!”
His friends whoop and holler around us, and Crew laughs, smacking my ass so loud it echoes, then into the air we go.
I scream as we crash into the pool, and when we come up, we’re both laughing.
This time, he doesn’t cut his short.
With my lips tucked beneath the surface, I grin, enjoying the way he smiles back.
I miss this Crew.
The one who didn’t hide himself from me.
It’s sad how we grew apart the last few years.
It’s even sadder knowing he wanted it that way.
By eight, all guests are gone, and Layla needs to get off her feet so she asks if I want to join her in the house. Being it would have left me with Crew, the twins, and brother number three, her invite is lifesaving.
We sit at the makeshift bar, but every few minutes, she looks at the mess, so I found a way to convince her to let me do the dirty work.
Once the kitchen is spotless, she walks me to the back of the house to show me the baby’s nursery.
“Willie painted the walls, and then all the boys came over one day, put the furniture together, hung the shelves, and all I had to do was point out what I wanted where. We managed to get it all done in a weekend.” Layla smiles at the space, running her fingers over the soft-pink shams she and I slid onto the rod not five minutes ago.
Willie is getting his girl.
“It’s really beautiful, Layla.”
“Thanks. We told Crew we could scoot the crib over and he could put his mattress down or even crash on the couch until everything gets squared away with the electric issue at the bar, but he wouldn’t go for it. He’d rather put himself in a bad spot by getting a hotel. The man is always worried about wearing out his welcome, which will never happen around here.”
Wait, what?
Squared away at the bar…
It hits me then. The cot in the tiny, closet-sized office in the back of the bar, the pile of mail sitting on my bedroom dresser, the near-naked woman who opened the door that’s no longer his.
Crew’s living at the bar on the springy foldable cot crappier than a hotel rollaway. Now the bar is closed, hopefully for no longer than a couple days, but still. A few days is a few days he’ll be without a home.
Layla looks at me, and I realize I’ve yet to say anything, so I draw on a small smile and nod.
“Yeah, he’s sort of always been that way. My mom would ask him to stay for dinner every single day, but she would say ‘it’s like pulling teeth to get him to accept without a fight.’” I don’t tell her how the nights we couldn’t convince him, he would go to bed hungry because there was nobody to make him meals at home.
There was nothing for him to make himself either.
“After a while, she stopped asking and pulled her mom voice out. Basically, he wasn’t allowed to go home until he cleared his plate.” And then his parents signed their rights over to mine. Unwanted by his family at fourteen years old, Crew legally joined mine. His mom and dad disappeared with Drew, not long after that.
That was the only time I saw Crew cry.
Layla’s low laugh has me blinking back into reality, and I watch as she lovingly rubs her belly.
She may know that about Crew already, but if she doesn’t, it’s not my place to tell, though the sorrowful smile covering her lips in the next moment indicates she knows a little bit of something. Whether that something has to do with Crew’s upbringing or knowledge of my brother, I don’t know.
“Ready?” Crew pops his head in the room.
Masking the runaway thoughts in my mind, I nod, saying a quick thank you and goodbye to Layla on my way out.
The ride home is an odd mix of relaxed and uneasy.
I’ve never been anxious around Crew. And while I do enjoy the nonsense of it, I’ve never felt a need to fill in the silence with random conversation, but before I knew Crew, and as he flat out said, I don’t anymore. Not fully.
Not as well as his new friends do.
A heavy sense of grief washes over me and I look to my lap, rolling the stray strings where the rips in my jeans are.
He was Memphis’s Crew before.
My Crew.
He’s not anymore.
Now, he’s theirs.
It makes me wonder. If I hadn’t reached out to him, would he have eventually reached out to me?
I’m beginning to think not.
“Are you headed home from here?” The moment I ask, I wish I could take it back, especially when Crew’s lie rolls off his tongue without pause.
“Yep.”
I nod back, even though he’s focused on the road ahead, but the closer we get to my apartment, the more the situation nags at me.
So, once he’s pulled up in the space beside my car, I turn to him, blindly pulling on the handle.
“Come in a minute?” Before he has a chance to say no, I add, “I have something of yours I’ve been meaning to give you.”
Unable to taper down his curiosity, he turns off the car and follows me to the door.
Inside, I move straight to my bedroom, heading back into the living room in seconds. Stepping up to Crew, I place the box against his chest, forcing him to grab hold or let it fall. His questioning frown bounces from it to me, but I quickly swivel into the kitchen, grabbing what I’m after in the first drawer to the left.
Being the box is still closed in his palms when I turn to face him, I have no doubt he’s about to get far more confused, but it won’t take him long to figure out.
“Here.” I drop the key on top of the shoebox, and he glares from it to me. “My roommate moved out last summer, so the room next to mine is as empty as it was the day you helped move me in.”
“Davis…” His face falls.
“Stay, Crew. The room is as good as yours now.” Offering a small smile, I give an encouraging nod as I begin to back away.
“Where you going?” His question is a quick demand, yet his tone holds a heaviness he can’t—and no doubt tried—to hide.
“I have to be up early so…”
He shows no sign of breaking eye contact, and even once I do, something tells me he stays frozen in the spot I left him long after I close my bedroom door behind me.
