I lean against the railing with my arms crossed over it as I look at the endless, vast sea. After putting the packages of medicines, I join the workers in their ship to travel back to Vailburg. I usually visit there for some personal stuff but this time I have different motives.
This time it isn’t for me…it’s for Agatha.
I hoped to see her again when I came back to deliver the packages but she was no longer at the front yard. But I didn’t bother searching for her as I didn’t want her to think something significant about my search for her.
Bit by bit, she was becoming someone who makes me…care. Every time I’m taking a step closer to see her truth, her walls of fear and ignorance would banish me. I was so close the other night to see what nightmares were haunting her mind before her walls stopped me.
But I’m going to find out the truth about her no matter what and I know I will get the answers in one place.
“Beautiful, isn’t it?” My old friend, Julius, mutters from behind before leaning against the railing beside me.
With a tight smile I look at the sea again with a nod. “It truly is but nobody can ignore how deadly it is.”
“You always have to find something negative in everything, don’t you?” He snorts.
I shrug. “Nothing is perfect in this world. Not even nature.”
“I thought you would be coming to Vailburg in a few days. Sudden change of plans I’m assuming.” He lights a cigarette before taking a deep drag and blowing out the smoke in thin air.
Julius and I have known each other for many years. But the business connects us more, where he supplies me with the necessary medicines and drugs that’s needed back at the Magdalene. His business is illegal for sure but he is the only supplier who agrees to work with us. Everybody else starts to get scared like a pussy just hearing about the Magdalene.
“Something like that.”
“How long are you planning to stay?” he asks, taking another drag before offering it to me. I take it and let the smoke leave a soothing burn in my lungs and throat.
“A week.”
“I bet Joana will be ecstatic,” he mutters with a smirk, shouldering me.
“Not in the mood to visit her this time.”
“No problem. I will then.”
“Your choice, don’t even care. I’m here for work this time.”
“Sounds serious already.”
I nod. “It is and I need your help with finding something.”
He frowns. “What do you need help with?”
“I want to know some background information on a girl. I need you to find everything possible and give it to me by tomorrow. I will pay you whatever price you want, but I need every detail on her as soon as possible.”
Julius is quiet for a few seconds as if processing my sudden demanding demeanor, before he nods his response.
“I will get my brother on it and you will have everything by tomorrow.”
Julius and I part ways at the Vailburg port. Resting my bag over my shoulder, I start to walk towards the town side and as always, the locals notice me and start with their gossiping.
He is back again.
What is he doing here?
Stay away from him, I heard he is a murderer.
Hush…he will hear you.
I wonder if he has murdering weapons in his bags. Don’t let him stay at our motel.
I ignore them all and keep walking to a nearby motel. I’m used to their whispered gossips and judgmental looks like I don’t belong there. It is true. I never belonged in Vailburg, but these people are no saints either who are living in this very wretched place.
I soon find a small, rustic looking motel with the name Albatross written in bold red letters on top of the roof. I head to the reception room, where an old, hefty man, probably in his sixties, is smoking with his gaze focused on the newspaper in his hand. The room looks really dusty with spider webs hanging from the ceiling. There are few landscape pictures but they are tilted, with the wallpapers scraping off. It’s crystal clear the owner of this motel has no interest in running his business anymore.
I drop my bag on the ground with a thud, catching his attention. He looks once casually before returning his focus on the paper but as if he realizes who I am he quickly looks back again with his skin starting to pale before abruptly standing up. He’s in a loose fitting, crumpled blue shirt with sweatpants which seems to be on the verge of falling down.
“We don’t have any rooms-”
I give him a death glare that makes his words pause with fear glooming in his eyes.
“I have had a long journey. By the looks of your motel, it’s clear you have barely any visitors coming. Just get me any fucking room or else I won’t hesitate to break that fucking face of yours,” I warn him.
He instantly goes through the drawer on his desk and retrieves a key with the number ten engraved in it, before he passes it to me. “T-the room is on the right side of the hallway. Third d-door.”
I grab the keys and head out, entering my room. It’s no different from the reception room, except there is a single bed with a wardrobe. A smudgy, small mirror is attached to the wall beside the wardrobe, along with a door that leads to the bathroom. I decide to relax for a few hours as I get freshened up and change into new clothes before lying on the bed and watching the fan rotating on the ceiling followed by a creaking sound.
But my mind is only consumed with Agatha’s thoughts. The more I think about her the more a heart-clenching and uneasy feeling crawls to my heart. Like something bad is happening.
The only thing I know is that with every passing day, her sorrows and nightmares are pulling her away from her true self. I might be her only hope to bring the real Agatha back to her, but for that I have to know her past.
I have to.
For her
True to his words, Julius hands me a few papers that have the necessary information regarding Agatha. We are at the bar, having drinks, while the people around there are already getting uncomfortable with my presence.
Some are even leaving, giving me nervous glances from the corner of their eyes.
“How long have you known this Agatha girl?” Julius asks, passing me the papers, before taking a sip of his beer.
“It has been a few weeks, perhaps more than that.”
“Is she your patient?”
I simply nod, starting to go through the papers already. It mostly talks about her family, education and recent medical information. Agatha is the youngest daughter of the late Mr. and Mrs. Adamos, who were the sole owners of Adamos Interiors company but it got discontinued after their death from a car crash. Her sister, Helena, got married to Tristen, and they took in Agatha in their house after their family passed away. Agatha finished her high school studies, learning about art and literature. Not many relationships and no criminal records too. But it says after her sister’s death she started to lose her mind and attempted to murder Tristen one night. But she failed and the next day was taken by the police before she was transferred to the mental ward of Vailburg Hospital.
That was the story. But it leads me nowhere near the truth I’m searching for.
“Anything else your brother found?” I ask, feeling a tad irritated and impatient.
He shakes his head. “Nothing else. Everything he could find is on the papers. But I can tell, this is very serious for you. So, I think I know someone who can tell you more about her. I heard she used to work as one of the maids in Tristen’s house, so she might know something we couldn’t find.”
“Where can I find her?”
“She lives in my neighboring area. I will take you there.”
I simply nod and drink my scotch, but I can feel Julius still looking at me with a questioning look. “What?”
He shakes his head with a shrug. “You have several patients but I don’t think I’ve ever seen you so invested in one.”
I look away, knowing well he will read my mind. “There wasn’t much about her in the files.”
“Lie to me all you want but we both know that’s not the case.”
I scowl. “What do you mean?”
“What did her brother-in-law tell you about her?”
I can’t tell him. It’s a secret that I can’t unveil, because then I will feel guilt consuming me. And I don’t want to be in guilt because of her.
“Nothing much.” I try to brush off the conversation, but like the asshole he is, Julius continues to poke his nose into a subject that is none of his business.
“Lies, again. That would only leave the assumption that he paid you for-”
“Don’t fucking go there.”
He smirks, bringing the bottle to his mouth for a sip. “It’s the truth, Eryx. It’s one of the things you and Geryon are known for but it’s kept as a secret. Only to be revealed during the dark times.”
He is telling something I already know about. It’s what I signed up for since day one, without knowing. But that’s a part of me now and I should be ashamed of it. But that feeling never struck me before…before Agatha came in.
“If you feel she doesn’t deserve to be a part of that fucked up world, then get her out of there before things slip through your hands.”
“You know I can’t. I have my reasons, too.”
He nods. “I know that but I just feel maybe deep down you want to go against your reasons for the first time, just for this girl.”
“She isn’t worth it.”
“That’s for you to find out with time, my friend.”
I remain quiet, not knowing how to respond to that because a part of me starts to have the urge to set her free. But the other part of me is holding tightly onto the rope of my reasons even though my hands are bleeding.
Maybe time will tell…or maybe not.
After our drink, Julius takes me to his house, which is on the poor side of Vailburg. It is overpopulated with homeless and jobless people, living in buildings which look like they are on the verge of collapsing. But they are willing to risk their meaningless lives to have a roof over their head. Cries and shrieking of children and women who probably work in brothels are screaming and cussing, filling the atmosphere with ear piercing noises. Young boys and men are in old, ragged clothes with their bare feet covered in mud and dirt. While women and girls are mostly dressed in frocks that must have not been cleaned or pressed for years, like their messy hair.
The whole scenario is the opposite portrait of a rich and luxurious life.
Julius guides me along a dark and congested alleyway, where we pass by a lane of brothels, with women touching our shoulders and winking at us with seductive looks, appearing somewhat decent than the others. But none of those ever appeal to me. One even holds Julius’s hand, pulling him to her as they both laugh huskily.
“I missed you. Where have you been?” she asks in a sultry tone.
“Work, as always, Scarlet.”
Scarlet looks a year or two older than Agatha, wearing a revealing red dress that showed off her porcelain toned legs and cleavage. She has put on a matching lipstick with her blond hair tied in a ponytail.
“Why don’t you come in and I’ll show how much I missed you.” She kisses his lips in a teasing manner before pulling away with a smirk. Her gaze finds mine as she frowns with a look of curiosity.
“Who is your friend?”
“Just a friend.”
“Does he want to join us?” she winks at me.
I can’t help but roll my eyes, getting irritated with every passing second.
“Actually, I brought him to meet your aunt.”
She frowns again but this time she looked a bit tense before taking a step back. “What do you want with her?”
“He wants to know something about one of his patients and your aunt used to work for her. Is she home?”
“She is but she is in bed rest. Her condition isn’t improving.”
Julius nods, tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear, nearly reminding me of the same gesture I did whenever I was with Agatha to comfort her.
“We need to see her now. It’s very important.”
Scarlet nods before walking ahead and taking us to the side of the alleyway end, where a small, uneven, stairway leads to the second floor of the building. Retrieving a key from her bra, she opens the door and lets us inside a small, untidy room. There is a bed at the corner where her aunt is lying, breathing so heavily that we can hear it clearly from afar.
“Hey aunt, someone is here to meet you,” she calls out to her and she gradually stirs awake. Scarlet stalks towards her and helps her sit back. The woman looks pale and weak, like she is one step away to the door of death.
“Who is it?” she asks in a low, stuttering tone like she is having difficulty to even talk properly.
“I don’t know, see for yourself. I’m off to work,” she mutters before lowering her face to kiss her forehead. “Julius, you want to join?”
He doesn’t wait to think and leaves the room with Scarlet, closing the door lightly, while I take a seat beside the old woman giving an emotionless expression.
“Do I know you, son?” she asks, squinting her eyes.
I shake my head. “We have never met. But I want to know about someone you used to work for.”
She lightly hisses in pain when she tries to get comfortable against the headboard. The only light coming into the room is through the small window beside the entrance. Her gray hair is tied in a loose bun with wrinkles and spots covering her face. When I make a move to help her, she shakes her head, before leaning back properly.
“I have worked for many people and some I don’t remember anymore.”
“Have you worked for Mr. Tristen Arthur?” I ask.
Right away, she tenses and her eyes widen with a sudden shock. “Yes, I did and that was the last place I worked before I was fired. But what do you want to know about him?”
“Not him, I want to know about his sister-in-law, Agatha. She moved into his house after her parents died. So, you must know something about her.”
She remains silent as if letting me elaborate more.
“She is one of my patients and I feel her illness is connected with her past times. In order to find a cure for her, I have to know what happened to her and what changed her.”
Silence fills the room with my patience slipping away. But she finally speaks, starting to reveal Agatha’s truth.
“I know I shouldn’t tell this to a stranger like you because it might lead me to consequences but I do not care anymore. My life no longer holds any value so it doesn’t matter what happens to me.”
She lets out a shaky breath before meeting my gaze.
“I worked at the Arthur residence for nearly fifteen years. I knew every piece of secret the family tried to bury in their grounds. And what happened to Agatha and her sister was one of those many secrets,” she swallows, “when Agatha came to live with Helena and Tristen, she was closed off most of the time. Everyone thought it must be because of her parents’ death that traumatized her. She only talked with her sister as she was her only family left. She spent most of her time in her room doing artwork or studying for her college. But I noticed how she would keep her distance from Tristen as much as possible, it felt like she didn’t want to be close to his shadow. And I should have understood at that time and informed Helena about this, but I was worried about my job at that time. And I did not want to get into any sort of trouble. But one night something happened…”
I lean closer with a frown, feeling my heart pounding faster and faster, with realization hitting me about where Agatha’s story must be leading. “What happened?”
Her lips start to tremble along with her eyes starting to glimmer with remorse and sadness.
“Helena went out of town to attend a small family get-together with Mrs. Arthur. I stayed with Agatha that time but when Tristen returned home with his father, he dismissed me for the rest of the night and told me to return home.”
My throat starts to constrict as I’m struggling to breathe and think properly. I can feel it to my bones that whatever she is going to tell me will change my entire perspective about Agatha.
“I was halfway to my home but I remembered I forgot to bring some of the leftover food. So, I returned back and when I was close to the stairway, I heard a sudden screaming sound. It was Agatha’s.”
Tears start to fall down her cheek as she looks away towards the wall, as if getting lost in that very memory.
“I immediately went to her room, thinking maybe some burglars came in. But then…I-I see…” her voice starts to shake, “I see Agatha in her room…her hands tied behind her back while she was being raped by both Mr. Arthur and Tristen.”
She starts to sob, putting her hand over her mouth.
My muscles are trembling at rapid speed with anger and ferocity firing my mind and soul. The vision of Agatha being helpless and abused by people who should have been her family burns in my memory, and it’s a sight I will never be able to forget.
“Tristen was behind her and Mr. Arthur in front…s-she couldn’t move or scream for help. I could tell she was crying…begging to be away from that nightmare. I couldn’t look at that horrible sight anymore and decided to call Helena about it. But I accidentally knocked down a vase and they heard me. Before I could run downstairs, Mr. Arthur caught me.”
She sniffles before continuing. “He threatened to not only fire me but also kill my family if I told anyone about it. And he even reached underneath my skirt to prove his point about what else he would do. I was beyond terrified and returned home. But I couldn’t stop thinking about Agatha for one second, knowing she was suffering and there was nothing I could do…”
“Did her sister ever get to know?” I ask, trying to control my rage but it was beyond my control.
She shakes her head. “That I do not know of. Her sister was already suffering emotionally after having a miscarriage and then on her second time being pregnant, she lost her baby again before three months of giving birth. She even went to several therapist to help her but none of them did anything for her, and she later committed suicide by shooting herself.”
Fucking God.
“Mr. Arthur also had a sudden heart attack a few days later and died at the time before passing his inheritance to Tristen.”
The fucking bastard had an easy way out by dying from a heart attack, He deserved to be tortured to death.
“I was fired a few weeks later after Helena passed away. And since then, I lost every connection with that family.”
Letting out a deep breath, I stand up, running a hand through my hair as I try to process the truth, but the only thing I have the urge for is to hunt down Tristen and bury him alive into the deepest grounds.
But even that won’t be enough for what he did to Agatha. He deserves way worse than that mere punishment. She was introduced to the actual living hell from a young age. She lost her innocence…her hope…her everything to such monsters who don’t deserve to breathe in this world. He didn’t even deserve to be anywhere near Agatha, but that monster didn’t hesitate to corrupt and crush her soul.
“I still feel remorseful about that night and uncountable ones,” she whispers, still crying.
“Uncountable nights?”
“They both kept raping her whenever Helena was out of town.”
I close my eyes, feeling the inferno of vengeance burning my heart. I swallow feeling my throat turning dry. She is nineteen now but according to the information I got, Helena got married to Tristen when Agatha was fourteen. God knows if he has been advancing on her since the first day, but it’s clear she has been suffering for years with nobody to look upon to save her.
She was all alone.
She is still alone.
“I will never be able to forgive myself,” she murmurs.
I look at her over my shoulder with a cold smile. “You shouldn’t forgive yourself. And no matter what you do, I’m sure your soul will rot in your grave when you die.”
She starts to sob louder, casting down her eyes in shame that was hit by my words.
“You could have saved her…you could have done a good deed that would have helped you repent for your sin but you failed. So, there is no point in feeling guilty because when you die it won’t be God greeting you, it would be the devil.”
“Please…don’t say that,” she whispers through her cries.
“You and I both know it’s the truth. And you deserve it. You are no less sinner than those two monsters who ruined Agatha and her youth which was supposed to be filled with love and innocence.”
Her body shakes from her crying with tears coursing down continuously. I don’t try to console her and leave the room, heading out of the area without telling Julius about it. I need to clear my mind, but the more steps I take the more I get blinded by rage.
I reach the shipping dock, standing at the very edge of the deck, watching ahead where Agatha is miles away. I have to return to her as soon as possible before she is drowned in guilt of her sister’s death and the horrors she suffered.
Images of her being raped again and again fill my vision that I nearly want to throw up, which I’ve never done. I have had patients before who had been preys of rape, but Agatha was trapped in the net of both betrayal and pain that she never expected to happen.
I breathe heavily, closing my eyes to calm down my nerves, but the minute I do a vivid picture of Tristen being on top of Agatha flashes in front of me. She is writhing and crying in pain and helplessness, looking at me with desperation and begging me to help her. Tears streaming down her cheeks as she screams for me to save her from this darkness. Her clothes are torn off while Tristen grins like a sadistic monster before lowering his head to take advantage of her.
I open my eyes instantly to be away from that vision only to be greeted by the enormous sea…the same route which Agatha took with me to another hellish place.
She went away from one agony, just to be handed off to another where she is searching for her freedom, day and night. And I don’t blame her for it, because it is something she deserves and should have got from the start until Tristen came into her life.
But I’m no different than Tristen and his father.
I’m ruining her even more than she already is. And at an unknown price that I’m not sure if it existed or not.
But I also have no other choice because of my cruel fate binding me to my motive. Only if I could go back in time and change the past then I would, but a part of me has no remorse for the sins I committed.
I have had several patients and I cured many, feeling it like a duty I have to fulfill. But with Agatha, it feels different…everything is different now. I’m her last hope and if I fail her, then there is no turning back for her. She will be lost forever…just like her sister. It is now my purpose to guide her out of this cave of remorse so that she can be in the light of hope and happiness…where she belongs. But I have to think through everything carefully because I can’t risk any chances for her.
I have to leave soon but before that there is something I need to finish. And it’s more for me than for Agatha. I have never hesitated to commit sins, so what was one more?
“I’ll save you, Agatha. I promise on my life,” I vow to her and to myself.
