I’m at the library, cleaning the shelves like I am usually tasked to do during the evening. The room is much darker compared to other rooms. Same condition as the others. But on the walls there is a series of repeated lines that covers every corner.
WE BELONG TO GOD ONLY. HEAVEN IS OUR HOME.
There are vast, tall shelves that nearly touch the ceiling. Most of them are filled with books or studies related to God and Bible, making me wish I had my favorite collections of Thomas Hardy and William Wordsworth. There is a long table at the center of the room with chairs on either side to read, but I rarely see anyone coming here to spend their privacy with books.
I’m done re-arranging the shelf, and walk behind it towards the store-room where the other cleaning supplies are kept. But as I reach for the door, my hand stops close to the knob when I hear a woman’s muffled moaning coming through it.
I frown, taking a step back and looking left and right.
The moan comes again followed by a grunt this time. But in seconds, I realize it is Agnes inside with a man.
“Suck it harder, Agnes. You have been taught way more than that.” It’s Father Geryon.
“Yes, sir.”
My mind keeps telling me to ignore it and walk away, pretending as if I didn’t hear anything but when I hear her crying and struggling, I can’t help but lean down to peek through the small crack on the door.
And the sight I see makes me gasp.
Father Geryon’s hand cups Agnes’ head, guiding her back and forth to suck his cock. She keeps her gaze up at his face with tears streaming down her face, while it looks like she is struggling to take him deeper. But he doesn’t let her have the easy way, and pushes deeper into her mouth, throwing her head back and letting out a low groan.
“Yes, just like that. Please me and you shall be rewarded in the best way as always, Agnes.”
She nods and keeps sucking him, resting her hands on his thigh. He thrusts his hips a tad faster and harder, making her choke while signaling with his finger pressing against lips to gesture to her to be quiet.
I can hear my heart drumming in my ears. My blood is racing with my nerves quaking from the sight. It is a forbidden sight and yet it turns my breathing shallow and deep.
“It is bad to pry into others’ business, little girl,” the familiar masculine, gruff voice whispers close to my ear, making me jolt up. But before I can yelp in surprise he presses a hand against my mouth, pushing me against the wall beside the door.
“I’m pretty sure you don’t want Father Geryon to know you were looking at his cock getting sucked by Agnes,” he whispers, pressing against my body. But when he gazes at my face a sinister smile crosses his face.
“Why is your face flushed, little girl?” he asks, taking away his hand and caressing my jaw with his thumb. “Did that sight affect you?”
I turn speechless all of a sudden, looking around nervously. He cups my jaw to make me meet his gaze to answer him bravely.
“Answer, little girl.”
I shake my head. “I-I…It was nothing. I came to take the cleaning supplies…I didn’t know-”
“That doesn’t answer my question though. Making riddles will end up in creating lies. Answer directly. Did watching them turn you on?”
I answered him with silence. But that is enough proof for him to get the answer to his question. His nose takes a deep breath into my hair, making me close my eyes and goosebumps run along my skin.
“A sinner and a vixen. Dangerous yet tempting combination,” he whispers.
Another moan echoes from the door, turning my body warmer. His thumb runs along my lip like he was outlining it. His touch skating down with his fingers touching the pulse point on my neck, moving lower…lightly caressing my breasts before continuing its journey downward.
“Please,” I rasp.
“Please what? Stop?” he asks. “If you want me to stop then all you have to do is say the words, little girl. Say it and I will move back and leave.”
Tell him no. Say no and walk away.
But the words I need to tell him don’t come out, giving him the green flag to resume. Deep down a part of me wants this. Why? I don’t have any answer for that.
A low grunt and a choking sound comes again, but his touch keeps my attention captivated.
“You are always breaking the rules. Every time I find you, you are doing something you aren’t supposed to. And here you are again. Something tells me you crave it. Tell me,” his hand hitches up my dress, tracing the panty lines with his middle and index fingers, “are you wet from seeing what Agnes and Geryon were doing?”
I lick my dry lips, swallowing deeply. My eyes closing on its own feeling his fingers explore my skin. His face close to mine with his lips against my cheek as he mutters his words.
“Do you want what she is experiencing?” he asks.
I grind my teeth together, feeling anger starting to boil up from his words. If he thinks I’m going to be a slut, who would fall on her knees for him anytime he says, then he is dead wrong about it.
“I won’t be a slut. Don’t dwell in the illusion that I will let you use me just because of your bullshit obedience logic.”
He snickers under his breath with a dark smirk. “Not what I meant, but let me clarify here. Do you wish to experience the pleasure and desire she is feeling? Relishing your body writhing and trembling that you are unable to think about anything. Feel your every nerve being controlled by desire, driving you insane until you beg for release. Is that what you want?”
Dear God. How can anyone deny such an offer?
His fingers go lower to the apex of my thighs, lightly grazing my pussy, making me gasp. I clutch onto his muscular arms, arching my back.
The moaning suddenly stops from the other side of the door, and is exchanged with a yelp and a cry, which soon gets muffled, followed by the slapping sounds of their skin.
“She is getting rewarded by his cock. What about you, little girl?” He touches me again and I can’t help but bite down on my lip to keep myself quiet.
“Please.”
“Say the words and you shall have it.”
I have been craving for it since the first night he came to my room. After he left me yearning for more, I keep telling myself to stay away from this. But now he is reviving those sensations again, but this time it feels irresistible. Every inch of my skin is trembling with need…with desire.
“I want this. Please.”
That is the only response he needs before he moves my panties aside, finding my already wet pussy. He lets out a raspy groan while I feel his chest vibrating against mine.
“You are soaking wet. I can easily slide myself inside you,” he whispers, moving his fingers back and forth along my wet pussy lips. My legs start to shake, but I hold onto him for support. His other hand wraps around my waist, pulling me closer and I feel his erection digging against my hip.
I hear the moans turning ragged, the slapping sounds getting louder and rougher. He even increases his pace and circles my aching clit. I bite onto my lip harder, not caring if blood draws out. My insides are twitching for release as his fingers work their magic.
“Fuck, you already feel so warm. Let’s see how tight you are,” he murmurs against my cheek, before pushing his fingers inside me and starts to really fuck me.
His motion is fast and hard, hitting that sweet spot that is calling for attention.
“My God, you feel so tight. Your walls are clenching my fingers so tightly.” He pushes deeper up-to his knuckles, pressing his fingers against my wall and moving back and forth rapidly that I can even hear the wetness pooling between my thighs and dripping down.
“You will come before she does. A second later and I won’t touch you again. Understood?” he asks.
I simply nod, throwing my head back as I release a silent cry. My fingers digging into his shirt.
At this point I don’t care who sees us, the only thing that matters to me is coming in his arms.
“That’s it. You’re getting close. So, fucking close. I can feel your walls twitching.”
He keeps fucking me with his fingers. My mind goes insane with a sensation I’ve never felt before. I’m almost on the verge…I can feel it coming.
“Say, my name when you come, little girl. I want you to hear and remember who made you writhe and moan.”
“Tell me your name,” I barely get out my words.
“Eryx. Say it.”
He increases his pace, hitting my spot vigorously that before I know it, I’m coming undone whispering his name.
“Eryx…Ah! God! Eryx.”
For a fleeting moment my vision turns blurry as my head rests against the wall and Eryx leans his head at the crook of my neck. He slows down his motions, eventually coming to a stop before he pulls out his now drenched fingers.
He moves his head back and looks at me with those lustful eyes before he brings his fingers close to his mouth and sucks it clean. My jaw drops open in shock as I’ve never witnessed such a sight, and the amusing look on his face says he is truly enjoying my astonishment.
He hums in appreciation at my taste. “Sweeter than any delicacy I ever had. A flavor to cherish for sure.”
With a smirk he smoothens down my dress and takes a step back. “When it’s said that sometimes sin can bring the ultimate pleasure, it’s not wrong.”
He turns around and walks away, pretending like he didn’t just make me come into the library room. I try to catch my breath, feeling my mind still in haze of the intense pleasure I experienced.
Realization soon hits me that I’m still at the doorway and that Agnes and Father Geryon can come out anytime now. Fixing my hair and dress, I rush back to the place I was before, pretending to stock the shelves.
Others around me are still focused on their tasks. I’m not sure if they heard what Eryx and I did, or if they are hiding it very well.
My hands are still trembling with my mind playing the images of Eryx and his touch…his closure…his sensation.
I don’t know what consumed me that I threw my senses out of the window and let him touch me that way. And yet, a part of me can’t deny it was the best feeling ever. The kiss that night was just a little peek, a forbidden taste, he showed me. But today’s moment was way beyond it that left me yearning for more.
Why is he affecting me so much?
Why him?
I’m standing in the line, with an empty tray in my hand, waiting for the girl in front of me to be done filling hers with food. We are at the dining room to have our lunch. I don’t know if they lack the items for breakfast or if this is some religious bullshit they created but it is never served or even cooked here. And nobody here seems to have a problem with it.
The room is equally vast like the prayer room on the ground floor. There is a long table set against the left wall with all the food already served in a row. On the opposite side are the tables and chairs where a maximum of four people are allowed to sit together to eat.
My turn comes and I fill my tray with bread, a small bowl of soup, sliced vegetables and fruits, and beans. Most of the seats are taken, but luckily a seat is empty beside Beth. I don’t think any further and make my way towards her at the very corner of the room. She is usually like this from what I have noticed, hiding in the corner like a lurking shadow, as if she doesn’t want to be seen. I sit in front of her, greeting her with a gentle smile, but she avoids my gaze and continues to eat her meal.
I look over my shoulder to find Agnes standing at the doorway with her arms crossed, looking around like the warden she is.
I dig into my food, slurping on the soup and keeping my gaze down. But I have to talk with Beth. I need her to help me find a way out.
“Please, think about it, Beth,” I start, noticing her shoulders becoming tense. “We can both escape.”
She barely shakes her head. “If you want to escape, feel free. But I prefer to live.”
I frown. “Live where? Here? In this rotten hell where you are treated worse than a slave. I can clearly see your bruises around your eyes and your hands.”
She tries to hide her hand with her sleeves, still not meeting my eyes.
“You prefer this life over the one where you could be free of this pain and humiliation.”
Her head snaps up and for the first time I see emotions reflecting in her eyes.
Anger. Sadness. Recollection.
“I know what pain and humiliation feels like, Agatha. And I would rather live here than return back to the life where I was seen as nothing but a burden and an embarrassment.”
She lifts her palms up, a dark emotion shadowing upon her flushed face. “Do you have any idea what these hands have done? The sin it committed that I will always remember for the rest of my life”
She leans her hands closer to my face, making a sudden nervousness shroud my heart. My nerves are starting to race with anxiety.
“These very hands didn’t hesitate to take the life of the person I loved.”
I gasp in shock as realization settles in me.
She nods with a humorless smile. “That’s right, Agatha. I killed someone and I had to do it. She deserved to be dead. The day she fell in love with me, she was doomed. And my hands sealed her fate.”
I remain silent, breathing heavily. My appetite vanishes in thin air after hearing the confession that Beth made.
“I killed her,” she rasps. Her eyes are wide with a horrific look. Tears stream down her cheeks and I notice she isn’t blinking for once. Her body is trembling like she is realizing the truth just like me for the first time.
“I killed her…I…killed…her,” she repeats her words like a mantra.
“I killed her.” She looks down at the sharp fork and before I know it, she stabs her own hand with it in one sharp move while she keeps screaming her words.
“I killed her! I killed her! I’m a murderer!” she yells. I move back in terror, watching the blood spurt out of her palm, but she keeps stabbing herself again and again like the pain isn’t enough for her.
Her eyes wide and red, filled with fright and remorse.
I look around and strangely everyone is calm and quiet, enjoying their meal like nothing is happening around them. But Agnes comes towards us, holding down Beth and snatches the fork away from her grasp.
“Stop it, Bethany!” Agnes orders in a strict tone. “I said stop!”
And all of a sudden, she does, turning still as a stone.
“Come with me,” she mutters before holding Beth’s hand and guiding her out of the room. I remain planted in my spot, feeling my heartbeat drumming in my ears. Letting out a shaky breath, running a hand through my hair as my eyes land upon the pool of blood on the table. Few drops splattered on my food and Beth’s too.
I’m no longer hungry, as I feel bile clogging my throat. My body starts to sweat suddenly, with my forehead thumping with a headache. I look around and notice nobody is still reacting. They won’t even acknowledge me if I leave the room, but something tells me if I do then Agnes will come after me.
“Agatha,” Father Geryon calls my name, making me look over my shoulder. I walk towards him, watching his stoic expression soon turning into a glare.
“Come to my chamber. Follow me.”
Without waiting for me to respond he stalks away while I follow behind him. His chamber is on the ground floor towards the right side of the prayer room. There is a large wooden table with a few books and files resting on top. A bookshelf is set against the walls, filled with more books. The floor is covered with a dark brown carpet. A small couch is beside the window with a folded blanket resting on it. The room is somewhat clean compared to the other places of the building, making it the only normal room in the whole castle. A tall and wide window on the right side seems to be the only source where light passed through. It has curtains pulled together but I notice there is a small lock on the window handle that has the possibility to be opened.
He takes a seat, resting his foot on his opposite knee. I stand at the center like I have been called at the principal’s office.
“As you’ve seen, Bethany had a little relapse back at the cafeteria,” he starts, “Her hand would require a few weeks to be fully recovered but other than that she would be fine.”
How can he be so calm about it?
“But why do I feel like you triggered her somehow?” he asks, arching an eyebrow.
I try to remain relaxed but it’s hard to follow when he is so cold and distant. “I was just asking her about the food,” I lie.
He remains silent for a second as if analyzing my words carefully.
“You better not be lying, Agatha. Because if you are then you will be severely punished, bear that in mind. And lies here aren’t taken lightly,” he warns.
“I’m not lying.”
“Then why aren’t you speaking your words with confidence, why are you avoiding my gaze?”
I shrug. “Perhaps I don’t like looking at you. Also, I don’t have any excuse to lie.”
Just then the door opens and Eryx enters, instantly scowling at my presence like he wasn’t expecting me to be here.
“Ah, Father Eryx,” Father Geryon greets him as he makes his way towards the desk, dressed in a priest attire like Geryon.
“I heard from Agnes about Bethany,” he murmurs, leaning against the table with his arms crossed, while he faces me.
“Agatha here seems to know what must have happened to Bethany to cause such a scene,” Geryon mutters.
Eryx has a sinister grin crossing his lips before he stands right in front of me. God, he is so close I can feel his heat. But I didn’t let myself crumble under his intense gaze, standing tall and strong.
“Is that true, Agatha?” This is the first time he called me by my name in front of another person.
I shake my head. “We were just eating and I asked about her food-”
“What did you ask?’
I gulp. “If she likes the soup…” my voice trails off.
Eryx remains silent for a while before he nods, looking over his shoulder. “She is telling the truth. Bethany must have been triggered by something else. I’ll check on her in a few minutes to see what happened.”
Geryon simply nods but he doesn’t look convinced. However, he doesn’t argue furthermore and gets up. “I will see if she has been treated.”
With that he leaves the chamber and closes the door behind him. I turn as well, about to leave. But when I open the door, it is slammed shut by Eryx. He is right behind me while I face the door, both our palms resting against the wood.
“I thought you two are done with your investigation. I want to go back to my room.”
He tsks softly, moving closer, pressing his chest against my back. “Father Geryon is done questioning you, but not me.”
I swallow the lump in my throat, trying to calm down my nerves, but they seem to speed up every time Eryx is around me.
“You were lying.”
I frown, looking at him over my shoulder, with his face so close to mine. “I…I wasn’t. You said so yourself.”
“I lied to cover up yours. I could see it clearly in your eyes that you were hiding the truth. Just to save you I had to commit a sin.”
I glare at him, my teeth gritting together. “I didn’t ask to be saved. And whatever punishment he has I would have handled it myself.”
He chuckles softly. “Trust me when I say, no person has ever handled Father Geryon’s punishment. It would have haunted you for many nights.”
For some unknown reason I do believe him. A small part of me feels thankful that Eryx saved me. Again.
“But that doesn’t mean I will accept your lies. Now tell me what triggered Bethany’s scenario?”
I shake my head. “I’m telling the-”
My words are left unfinished as he grasps my jaw, glaring at me in annoyance. That dark and twisted emotion pooling in his eyes sends shivers down my body. Sudden fear is starting to hold me captive.
“I hate to repeat myself again and again, Agatha. Tell me right now what happened or else I’ll punish you and believe me it will be painful,” he threatens.
His words are filled with confidence and promise, as I feel sure he is serious about punishing me. But if I tell him I was trying to convince Beth to help me, then I will be in bigger trouble.
“Answer me, Agatha. If it’s your lie again then you will choose the option to be punished.”
I gulp, feeling my throat suddenly dry. “I-I,” I cleared my throat. “I didn’t do anything. She suddenly started to scream and hurt herself.”
Eryx is quiet and unmoving for a fleeting moment, as if giving me a final chance to tell the truth. But when he realizes I’m staying rooted to my false words, he grips my hair, guiding me towards the desk.
“Bend over,” he orders in an emotionless tone.
I look over my shoulder, feeling uncertain and nervous, opening my mouth to protest before he stops me.
“The more time you take the longer the punishment will be, Agatha. So, do as you are told and bend over the desk, hold onto the edges. Do not let go unless you are told,” he demands. He walks back while I bend over and feel the hard wood pressed against my breasts.
He soon comes back and I look over to find a handle-like object with long, wide leathers hanging like tails in his hand, with his sleeves folded up. My eyes widen in horror and I immediately stand up before he pushes me down again.
“Let me go! I won’t let you hit me with that!” I protest, writhing against his hold.
“Then tell me what happened and this flogging will be gone.”
But I remain quiet.
“Then the flogger it is. Lift your dress up,” he orders.
I swallow the lump in my throat, feeling my breathing turned ragged. My heartbeat paced up like a skyrocket.
I hear the sharp snap of the leather making me jolt in surprise. With trembling hands, I move my hands back and lift up the hem of my dress. He moves closer towards my side, leaning his hand forward to caress the back of my legs that is covered with stockings. His touch makes its way up until it reaches my panties, making me gasp.
Before I’m aware, I hear the ripping sound of my panties.
“What are you-”
“Quiet,” he mutters in his deep voice. “Unless you want to tell the truth then speak or else don’t.”
I feel the cool wind caressing my skin, sending goose-bumps everywhere.
“I will be hitting you until you speak the truth. I won’t even stop when your skin turns red or your ass starts to bruise. Understood?”
I nod. But suddenly I feel the hit of the flogger against my skin making me yelp in shock.
“I asked you something so I expect an answer in words.”
“Yes, I understand.”
“Remember, everything stops when you are no longer lying,” he mutters. Before hearing the flogger coming, I felt it landing on my ass with a sharp hit.
“Ah God!” I whimper at the strike.
It starts off slow, but with every smack he increases his pace and force. My whimpers soon turn into cries that I try to muffle against the desk.
Behind me Eryx grunts and starts breathing heavily just like me. But he neither pauses nor does he let me rest for a minute to get used to the pain. He wasn’t kidding when he said his punishment will be painful. But I have to endure it or else the truth will bring a bigger chaos for me.
After God knows how many hits later, my skin starts to burn, my eyes are glimmering with tears that are threatening to be flowing down.
“The truth will save you, Agatha. Stop being childish and tell me,” he says but my mewl is the only response for him.
“Tell.” SMACK.
“Me.” SMACK.
“The truth.” SMACK.
“Ah!” I cry out loud at the top of my lungs, unable to hold back the tears. My legs start to tremble that I feel I will fall down anytime. But he doesn’t stop.
Not for once.
Even though I can’t see it, I can feel and guess my skin will be burning like a raging fire for days. I start to cry, hating him even more for causing me such immense pain and making me look like a weakling. And for that I’m never forgiving him.
But I’m also not going to fall for his pain so easily that I will tell him the truth. I have that much strength within me even till my last breath.
Eventually, my knees buckle and I fall on the ground. Crying and shivering from agony.
Thankfully, he finally stops, dropping the flogger. I’m still in the haze of pain, unaware of my surroundings as I keep shedding tears.
But eventually, I feel the warmth of a blanket engulfing me before he makes a move to pick me up, but today I hate his touch. I loathe it.
I slap away his hand and instantly sit up, masking my pain before I try to get up on my shaky legs.
“Don’t you fucking touch me!” I scream in rage pointing a finger at him, tugging the blanket tighter against my body.
“Stay the fuck away from me,” I warn, while his expression remains neutral like he even doesn’t feel an ounce of remorse for hurting me like that.
And the bastard dares to take a step towards me.
“I said stay away!”
But he still comes close to me and before he can touch me again, I slap him right across his face. “I said no!” I yell at him.
“When someone says it, they mean it. I don’t know how the fuck you have been raised but no means a no.”
He faces sideways with his jawline clenching. I notice his hands tightening in a tight fist. It is clear he is boiling with rage but he is controlling it.
But not me. I can’t control my emotions any longer after the pain I’ve been through.
“Stay the fuck away from me. I’m not telling you anything,” I seethe through my clenched teeth and march towards the door, rushing back to my room.
I shut the door behind me and kneel down, bringing my chin against my knees as I continue to cry.
Anguish, misery and shame shrouds me.
My skin is aching badly so it needs to be treated but I don’t know where to go. Fuck, it’s been weeks now and I’m still anywhere close to finding my way to freedom.
Everything is going south. The more I try to discover the more hopeless I’m turning. Slowly, bit by bit, my chances are fading away.
And with Eryx, things are turning confusing. His presence feels forbidden and yet my soul and body yearns for him. His words hypnotize me like dark magic. But even his darkness comes with a prize that can only be paid with pain and distress. And today I paid for it.
It changed my perspective about him even more, making me wish I never allowed him anywhere near me.
Don’t give him an ounce of attention, Agatha.
He was never worth it in the first place.
