Michelle jerked around at the sound of the intrusive voice. She tried to catch her breath as she looked up into the freckled face of the woman they’d seen when they first arrived at the pond.
She had the worst timing. And God, she didn’t know Erik could speak so…. so, uncouthly. It was so darn erotic. Her panties were soaked; her breasts ached with craving, and her nipples, hard now, tingled with anticipation. She was ready to explode.
“I couldn’t help noticing you,” the woman said in a friendly voice.
Michelle shook the sensuous thoughts from her head.
“You make such a beautiful couple and your daughter is gorgeous,” she continued. “It’s good to see young people so happily in love.”
“Thanks for the lovely compliment, but we’re—”
“Your young man seems like a fine lad.” Erik climbed to his feet, holding his hand out to help Michelle up, giving her a silencing wink of the eye. He enveloped her left hand in his right.
The woman gazed at the children as they tried to catch a mallard duck that kept eluding them. She placed wrinkled, age-spotted hands on her hips. “That’s my grandson, Justin. His parents are divorced and live three hundred miles apart. Justin lives with his mother, so I’m taking him to visit his father, my son, for two weeks. Divorce is so hard on children.” She looked down at Erik and Michelle’s entangled fingers. “Your little angel would never have to worry about losing either one of you. Watching the two of you together is like watching a summer sunset splattered across the horizon. The love you share is rich, deep and colorful, and long after the sun is gone, the iridescence remains. You will have a long and happy life together.”
“You talk like a poetess,” Erik commented, looping their joined hands around Michelle’s waist as the woman’s words permeated his brain. She’d confirmed what he’d felt in his bones, but hearing it from a stranger somehow brought the foggy images to a full circle of understanding. He kissed the top of Michelle’s head, wishing he were free to make her truly his.
“Oh, I’m no poetess. I just know love when I see it.” The woman gazed off over the pond. “I’d better be going. I have another two hours of driving, and you two lovebirds look like you want to be alone. Enjoy the great weather.” She walked back to her picnic table, calling out to her grandson.
Michelle pulled away from Erik, crossed her arms, and sucked in a deep, shuddering breath. “Why did you let that woman think I’m your wife and mother of your daughter?”
“It was simpler than giving a long explanation of the truth,” he replied, bending down to gather the remains of their lunch and pack everything back into the basket and cooler. “I’m tired of people expressing their regret about my dead wife. Besides, you are like a mother to Precious. You do everything a mother does for her. More than some, actually. Furthermore, you just admitted to loving her.”
“I’m not your wife, Erik. You shouldn’t go around telling people that I am.”
“No one got hurt and the old lady went away with a happy feeling in her heart. What’s wrong with that?”
“You’re giving me hope where there may not be any. This morning you admitted your physical attraction to me, but you also told me you weren’t ready for a commitment. Then just now before we were interrupted… What was all that about? Don’t set me up, okay? We don’t know what lies ahead for either of us. I don’t want to have my heart broken.”
“I’m sorry,” Erik said, picking up the cooler and basket off the quilt and placing them on the grass. “I didn’t mean to upset you. And I definitely don’t want to break your heart.” He gazed at her, trying not to think of how utterly sexy she looked. He would love to pull her behind a tree and kiss her. “Forgive me?”
“Just don’t do it again.” She picked up the quilt, folded it with two swift twists of her wrists, and headed for the car.
“Yes, Ma’am,” Erik said, following her.
“Is your father expecting me?” she asked as they put the items in the trunk.
“I told him I was bringing Precious’ nanny along.”
“He’s probably expecting some old lady with grey hair, a couple of missing teeth, and a mole on her nose. That’s the kind of nanny you were looking for, right?”
Erik laughed. “You’re no Nanny McPhee, Michelle Carter.”
She chuckled. “If he’s anything like your mother, he’ll probably take one look at me and draw his own conclusion, anyway.”
“How do you know what Felicia thinks about us?” He hoped his mother hadn’t told Michelle about Cassie’s wish for him to fall in love and marry again. Wanting to make love to Michelle was one thing, but thinking about marrying her was entirely different. He didn’t want Michelle harboring that kind of hope in her heart. Just moments ago, she’d expressed her wish not to have her heart broken. He could break it, quite easily.
“The day she met me and realized I was Precious’ nanny, she couldn’t stop laughing. I guess she thought you’d cornered yourself.”
“She’s a meddling old hag. Don’t let her get to you. My father is nothing like her. He minds his own business.”
“Good,” she said on a big sigh of relief.
Erik was about to close the trunk when he saw the stuffed rabbit crammed into a side pocket of Precious’ backpack. He glanced at Michelle, then back at the brown rabbit.
Michelle’s eyes followed his gaze. It was the tag bunny Precious had told her about this morning. The little girl had pulled it from the back of her closet and explained how she and her parents used it to play tag. Michelle hadn’t even realized Precious had brought it along.
“Oh, no, you’re not,” she said, backing away as he reached into the trunk.
He grabbed the rabbit and threw it at her. “Too late. You’re It.” He took off toward the pond and Precious, his laughter blending with the noise from the quacking ducks.
Michelle growled, picked up the rabbit, and chased behind him.
“Run, Precious,” he bellowed. “The tag bunny is coming. Run!”
Precious squealed, abandoned the ducks, and took off.
Love filled Michelle’s heart as she watched father and daughter running away from her. The carefree, playful family man Mrs. Hayes told her had disappeared after Cassie’s death was back.
Had she done that for him? Had she healed him?
***
As soon as Erik stopped the car Precious bolted out and ran toward the man descending a flight of stone cut steps leading up to a gorgeous hillside mansion.
“You grew up in this house?” Michelle exclaimed, her eyes popping as she took in the surrounding courtyards, gardens, and fountains. The views of lakes and mountains in the distance provided a magnificent backdrop to the estate.
“Yes.”
“Wow. I though your Amherst house was grand, but it looks like a woodshed compared to this.”
“Well, thank you,” he said.
“Oh, you know what I mean.” She slapped him playfully on the arm.
Grinning, he got out of the car, and walked around to her side to open her door.
Michelle felt suddenly uneasy as she watched Erik LaCrosse Sr. walking toward them, bouncing Precious in his arms. He was about an inch shorter than his son, with thin, firm lips and a high-bridged nose. His hair, the color of rich gold, was seasoned with silvery strands. His eyes were the same color of Erik’s, just not as piercing. She noted the light of approval on his slightly wrinkled face as he took a good look at her.
He set Precious on the ground before gripping his son in a bear hug, and kissing both his cheeks. “It’s good to see you, son.”
“You too, Dad,” Erik said, with a lot less enthusiasm than Michelle expected from him.
Erik Sr. turned to Michelle and gave her wide smile. “You didn’t tell me you were bringing a friend along, son.”
Precious giggled. “Michelle’s not Daddy’s friend, Grandpa. She’s my nanny.”
The poor man was clearly taken aback. “This is Michelle?” he asked, blinking in confusion. “Michelle’s the nanny? Felicia told me you’d met a beautiful young woman. She didn’t tell me she was the nanny.”
“Yes, Dad, this is Michelle Carter. Michelle, my father, Erik LaCrosse, Sr.”
“It’s nice to meet you, Mr. LaCrosse.” Michelle offered him her hand.
“The pleasure is mine. You are very lovely, my dear. My son has always had exceptional taste,” he said with a warm smile as he gave her hand a hearty shake.
“Thank you, Mr. LaCrosse.”
“Please, it’s Philippe. As a matter of fact, why don’t you just start calling me Dad?” He gave his son a hearty slap on the shoulder. “Good job, my boy. Good job.”
Erik growled beside her.
“Let’s get inside where it’s cool. It’s a sauna out here.” Philippe turned and followed Precious who was already racing back up the steps.
Michelle slammed the back of her hand into Erik’s stomach, and knew it hurt her more than it hurt him. “Thought you said he wasn’t anything like your mother. He’s worse. He just told me to start calling him Dad.”
Erik groaned. “I didn’t want to scare you.”
“Well, consider me scared.” Michelle walked toward the trunk to get the bags.
“Michelle, the servants will take care of the bags,” Erik said to her.
Servants? They had servants?
“Come on, let’s go.” Erik held his hand out to her.
Michelle took it, wondering how she was going to survive the weekend in a house filled with servants and Erik’s father’s speculating eyes watching her every move. And what the heck had Felicia told him about her and Erik? Lady friend? Really.
Philippe showed Michelle to her room, a spacious chamber on the west side of the house that overlooked tennis courts and a green wide meadow. The room was decorated with antique French furniture, like most of the other rooms she’d passed on the first floor.
Her room was separated from Precious’ by a bathroom, just like in the Amherst house. Only this marble bathroom was three times as big and came with a Jacuzzi and sauna. Erik’s bedroom was two doors away, with a library and a sitting area separating it from Michelle’s. Yasmine wasn’t going to believe it when she told her where she’d spent the weekend.
Michelle unlaced her sandals and dropped them on the Victorian rug at the side of the bed. She stretched out on the embroidered linen bedspread and stared up at the cathedral skylight ceiling. Everyone was meeting in the family room in twenty minutes before going in to see Danielle who was presently napping.
She wondered about the bizarre love triangle between Philippe, Felicia, and Danielle. When Erik had mentioned his father this morning, Michelle had sensed a subtle recklessness in his voice. She had no doubt that the love between father and son was mutual, but seeing them together, she had to admit that there was a concealed aloofness in Erik’s eyes when he looked at his father.
She supposed it stemmed from the circumstances surrounding his birth. She wondered if he resented his father for choosing Danielle over Felicia all those years ago. Or maybe it was the doubts about the method of his conception that bothered him. Since the situation was so ‘twisted’ as he’d called it, he had a right to question how he was conceived. But she was sure he would never ask his parents if they’d slept together, carried on a secret adulterous liaison with Danielle’s permission, just so they could all share a child together. That was just… She shivered at the whole affair.
“Michelle.”
Michelle turned her head to see Precious standing at her door hugging Bradie in her arms. She sat up in the center of the bed and folded her legs under her. She patted the mattress and Precious immediately ran across the floor and scurried up on the bed next to her.
“Do I have to see Grandma Danielle?”
“You came all this way. It would make her feel better to see you.”
“How come I have three grandmas? Everybody else I know has two.”
“Because you are a very special and lucky little girl. Some children have no grandmas at all, but you are blessed to have three who love you a lot.”
Precious sighed, in the same way a confused adult would have done. Michelle’s heart went out to her. She was still so young, so innocent. There was so much pandemonium in the grownup world that her childlike mind didn’t understand. Heck, Michelle didn’t even understand half of it herself.
“Where are your other grandparents?” she asked Precious. “Your mommy’s parents?”
“Daddy says my grandpa died before I was born.”
“What about your grandma?”
She shrugged her tiny shoulders. “I don’t know.”
“You never see her?”
She shook her head. “Daddy says she’s sick and that’s why I can’t see her.”
Oh damn it, Michelle thought, realizing her error. She shouldn’t have asked.
“Can I stay with you until we have to go see Grandma Danielle?”
“Sure, kiddo.”
“Cool. I had fun this afternoon by the pond,” she said with a big smile.
“Me, too.” Michelle smiled, as she tucked a long curl behind the little girl’s ear.
“I liked playing tag bunny with you and Daddy. It was like when Mommy was alive.”
“Oh, yeah? You like being tickled, too?” Before Precious could respond, Michelle pushed her onto her back on the mattress and tickled her tummy mercilessly until Precious screamed.
In the height of her elation, Michelle knew she loved this child as though she were her own.
Precious had stolen a big piece of her heart—a piece she knew she would never ever get back. Her heart was split right down the middle between Erik and his daughter.
How could she have set herself up for such a fall?
***
“What’s the story with you and Michelle?” Philippe asked his son as they sat in a four-season sunroom overlooking the White Mountains.
“There’s no story. She’s Precious’ nanny.”
Philippe chuckled. “It’s in your eyes, Erik. You can’t hide it.”
“What is?” His fists curled around the arms of his chair.
“The passion. You look at Michelle the same way I looked at your mother thirty-eight years ago.”
Erik held his father’s watchful stare. “Your wife is dying and all you can do is talk of passion for another woman.”
Philippe rubbed his palms together then ran them along his thighs.
Erik watched him, his eyes narrowing at the nervous gesture he also made when he felt cornered.
Philippe glanced at his son. “I was in love with your mother, Erik. I don’t want you to ever doubt that. But I loved Danielle, too.”
“So why did you choose Danielle over her?” There was a bitter edge to Erik’s voice that he didn’t even realize he’d been carrying all these years. Or perhaps, he’d just been in denial about the way his father had treated his mother. “Is it because of the race difference?”
“Erik, you really think I’m that narrow-minded?”
“Well—”
“I didn’t choose, Erik. Your mother did. She told me to marry Danielle.”
Erik’s mind clouded with confusion. “Why would my mother tell you to marry Danielle when she was so in love with you? Still is, from what I can tell.”
“I couldn’t choose between them. I couldn’t hurt either one, so I was prepared to walk away from both of them. They understood, but then Danielle got sick. They found a tumor on her brain and gave her three months to live.”
“So my mother encouraged you to marry her.”
“She wanted Danielle’s last days on earth to be happy ones. She said it didn’t make any sense that neither one of them could have me. It was decided that Felicia and I would marry after Danielle passed away.”
“But she didn’t die.”
“No. They, um…” Philippe cleared his throat and ran his palms up and down his thighs again. “They went in and got the tumor. I didn’t know what to do. As Danielle got stronger and healthier, I knew that your mother was the one. I really wanted to be with Felicia, but Danielle—”
“She was your wife. You couldn’t abandon her.”
“I had made my bed. I had to lie in it.”
“But you didn’t stay in it.” Erik stared across the low marble table into the grey and amber eyes he’d inherited.
“What are you asking, Erik? Do you want to know if your mother and I were intimate after I married Danielle?”
“Well, were you?” Erik fired back, not knowing if he really wanted the truth.
His father pinned him with his eyes. “No. I would never do that to Danielle.”
Erik let out the breath he was holding.
“When your mother found out that Danielle couldn’t conceive, she offered her eggs.”
“Why didn’t you just adopt? Hadn’t you put her through enough emotional trauma already? She had to watch you and her best friend live the life she should have had. You made her give up her child and leave her home to start over in a new place. I had to grow up without her. Spending an occasional weekend and a few weeks during the summer with her wasn’t enough, Father. She’s my mother. She carried me and gave birth to me. Not Danielle.”
Philippe tossed his head defiantly. “Look, Erik, we all made what we thought were the best decisions at the time. I can never justify what I asked of your mother. There is just something about a man having his very own child that gives him a degree of pride he can’t gain from raising someone else’s. You should understand. When you look at Precious, you know that your seed created her. You made her happen. She is part of you, flesh of your flesh, blood of your blood, and nothing can ever change that.”
That, Erik understood. Precious was his. A child created out of love. A child he would die for, and kill for. But still, if Cassie had been unable to give him Precious, he couldn’t imagine making a baby with another woman then asking her to give up her child, especially not a woman he was in love with.
“Raising you brought Danielle so much joy, Erik. She and Felicia have always had a deep and lasting friendship that I still don’t understand to this day.” He paused. “Your mother is a remarkable woman for doing what she did. She has sacrificed her entire life for me. How can I not love her? I’ve always loved her and I always will.”
Erik ran his fingers through his hair as he tried to absorb all his father just told him. As a child, he’d overheard whispers among the servants about his mother’s frequent visits to this very house, and how sometimes Danielle would leave her husband and her best friend alone for long hours at a time. Those whispers had spread beyond the walls of his father’s house and had caused his mother to move to Amherst after he was born. He’d carried the shame of the circumstance of his birth all through his childhood and dealt with the gossip within Granite Falls’ elite circle. But according to his father, none of it was true. He’d really been conceived through artificial insemination. There was nothing to be ashamed of anymore. As he watched his father wipe a tear from his cheek, Erik felt his animosity slipping away.
Philippe looked over at his son. “Right after she found out the cancer was back, Danielle insisted that I follow through with our original plan and ask your mother to marry me after she’s gone. She said I would be a fool if I didn’t grasp the opportunity.”
Erik left his seat and sat beside the man who was responsible for the confident individual and successful doctor he’d become. He rested his hand on his shoulder. “I’m glad we had this talk, Dad. It means a lot to me. I realize now that love isn’t always about getting what you want. It’s about allowing the person you love to be happy, even if it entails sacrificing your own happiness.”
Philippe’s brows arched upward. “You are in love with Michelle, aren’t you?”
“I care deeply for her,” Erik quietly admitted as he rose and shoved his hands into his pockets. “And you are right. If Cassie were still alive, I would probably feel the same way about her. But I doubt very much if I would have asked her to bear my child then take it away from her. In fact, I know I would not have put her through that kind of hurt.”
Philippe sighed. “I’m sorry for the pain you suffered because of our decision, son. Looking back now, I realize that we should have thought about how it would affect you. We can’t change the past. I regret not explaining the situation to you much earlier, but I don’t regret having you. I would do it again just to have you and that precious granddaughter you gave me in my life. I love you that much, son.”
“I love you, too, Dad.”
Michelle and Precious joined them shortly afterwards for some light refreshments. Precious dominated the conversation as she sat on her grandfather’s knee and brought him up to date with her little world. Finally, the nurse announced that Danielle was ready to receive visitors.
As they approached the bedroom, Michelle felt Precious’ fingers tighten around hers. She gave the little girl a reassuring smile.
Philippe was first to arrive at the bedside. He leaned over and kissed his wife on the forehead. Precious was previously informed about the IV needles in Danielle’s wrist, and that her face and body were swollen from the treatment she had been receiving for her disease. Philippe had also warned Erik and Michelle that this was not one of Danielle’s better days.
“Danielle, honey. You have visitors.” Philippe spoke in a gentle, patient voice.
He unfurled from the bed, and Michelle had her first glimpse of the pale woman propped up against the white pillows. There was no comparison between the skeletal form on the bed and the beautiful portraits Michelle had seen throughout the house. It was sad to look at her.
“Visitors? What?” came a frail response.
“It’s our son, Erik, and our granddaughter, Precious?” Philippe motioned for them to get closer.
Michelle released Precious’ hand, and the little girl walked cautiously but bravely up to the bed.
Precious stared at Danielle for a short moment then leaned over and hugged her, placing a wet kiss on her cheek. “Hi, Grandma Danielle. I’m Precious.”
“Precious.” Danielle whispered. She struggled, unsuccessfully, to put an arm around Precious when Philippe leaned in to help.
Michelle pressed a hand to her mouth as she took in the heartrending scene, knowing it would be the last time Precious would hug her grandmother.
“I love you, Grandma Danielle. I hope you get better soon. My daddy is a doctor and he can make you better. Right, Daddy?” She gazed up at her father.
The panic in his daughter’s voice and the hope in her eyes tossed Erik back a couple years to the day he buried her mother. He stepped forward and picked her up off the bed. Maybe it wasn’t a good idea to bring Precious here, for her to see Danielle like this with the smell of death heavy in the air. “Take her out,” he said, placing her in the arms of a maid lurking outside the door.
He took a swift glance at Michelle and noticed the tears in her eyes. He marveled that she could feel the pain and loss of a woman she didn’t even know.
He sat on the side of the bed and held Danielle’s frail hand—the hand that had soothed his brow, wiped his tears, and bandaged his bruises for so many years. She’d opened her heart to him, and raised and loved him as her own. Not once did he detect animosity or contempt in those beautiful hazel eyes that now stared vaguely back at him. Like his father said, what was done was done. He brushed back a few strands of wispy hair from her forehead. Her skin felt cool, puffy, and clammy—not warm and soft and plump as he remembered.
He managed to smile. “Hi, Mom. I want you to know that I love you very much. I thank you for opening up your heart and home to me. You were a wonderful mother—the best, and I shall miss you, dearly.” He let the tears roll freely down his cheeks.
“You? Who?” The forehead wrinkled in confusion.
“This is Erik, darling. Felicia’s son.” Philippe stroked the thin layer of blonde hair matted to his wife’s scalp. “You remember Felicia?”
Erik watched as Danielle’s eyes moved beyond his shoulders.
“Fe…le…cia,” he heard her say as her swollen face strained against the wide grin she tried to display.
Erik held his breath when he realized she was staring at Michelle. Felicia and Michelle both had black hair and similar body structure. They were both black. It was easy for a woman in Danielle’s condition to get them confused.
He remembered what his father had told him about the special friendship between Felicia and Danielle. Would Michelle give his mother this last cup of happiness? He knew it was asking too much of her, especially after he’d pretended earlier today that she was his wife. If she didn’t…
“Hello, Danielle. It’s been a while. I hope you haven’t missed me too much.”
Erik let his breath out at the sound of her husky voice. Bless her sweet heart.
Danielle’s eyes twinkled as she forced the words from her lips. “You… love… Erik?”
