Iwaited until Dustin went to his room and waited more until I felt his presence drift off into sleep before I reached behind me and plugged my wire back into the battery. I couldn’t blame Dustin for wanting privacy, but Kevin would be worried.
And I was right. As soon as the wire was active, Kevin activated his and growled, “Welcome back, asshole.”
“I love you, too, my son,” I murmured, but not without a great deal of amusement. I didn’t want to wake Dustin. “Come to my bedroom. I must speak with you, and I do not wish to do it over electronics.”
“On my way.”
At least he sounded less surly. That thought brought a small smile to my face as I headed to my room through the secret panel in my parlor. Kevin, and to my surprise, Beth, joined me soon after. I looked from one face to the other and sighed. Beth was unhappy about something, and I knew I was about to receive a tongue lashing about it.
She started the moment the door to the hall closed. “This is despicable, Casersis. How could you do all of this to that sweet boy without discussing it with him first?” She planted her hands on her ample hips and stared me down. “Terminating his lease? Moving his things to the estate? How could you? Those are things you should have let the boy do on his own after he got used to the idea of staying here!”
“I—”
She interrupted me with a wagging finger and said, “I’m disappointed in you. You’ve made that boy’s transition so much harder now, and you could have avoided most of his upset if you had just thought the situation through before going off and doing whatever you pleased. But you didn’t think. You just acted, and now he’s paying the price.” She huffed out an unamused laugh and rolled her eyes at my shocked expression, throwing her hands up in exasperation. “He’s not one of your employees to manipulate, Casersis. He’s just a boy!”
I sighed and sank down into a chair near my window. “I know. I am well aware of what I have done and the magnitude of his anger. Though, I think it has substantially cooled after the talk we had before he went to bed.”
She still wasn’t happy, judging by the frown that put a deep furrow on her brow and accentuated the wrinkles in her aging face. But at least she said nothing… for now. And since she seemed finished whipping me for my transgressions, I focused on my son.
“Kevin, I would like you to ensure Dustin stays on the property unless I give him permission to leave.” Beth opened her mouth to say something, but I raised my hand to silence her. “Please hear me out. Dustin and I have come to an agreement. He is allowed to go anywhere on the property, but he is to have a security detail. I have chosen Don for this task and made it known to him. Otherwise, if Dustin wishes to go somewhere, he is to come to me so I can place a glamor upon him to disguise any changes that may arise either here or while he is gone. I don’t know how well that glamor will work, so it’s best I go with him, but we will do what we can to make his changes bearable.”
Beth let out a loud breath and crossed her arms under her large bosom. “I don’t like this, Casersis. It’s a bad idea, and as much as you want to keep that boy close, giving him such restrictions will make Dustin hate you. Do you want that? Is that what you’re aiming for?”
I could only shake my head before Kevin entered the discussion with, “Dad’s right, Beth. If he undergoes any changes, here or while he’s out, it could be a disaster. I wasn’t kidding about the kid becoming a science experiment for the government, and not even dad could stop that mess.”
My thoughts stayed with Beth’s words. These restrictions would make my beauty hate me. Could I handle that? No. Not at all. The very thought soured my stomach. If he were to hate me, I would be alone again in short order. Yes, I could do all in my power to try and win him over again, but that initial hate would always be between us, and I felt so strongly that Dustin was mine. Mine to love, mine to protect. Mine to keep forever.
There was nothing I wouldn’t do for that young man. Nothing. But, I had to ensure he remained safe. I had to ensure he stayed with me until his changes completed. But more than that, I wanted him to love me, even if only as a dear friend.
How much of a hypocrite was I? Hadn’t my son, Kennan, had the same reaction to his chosen mate? He had come to me, begging me to accept him into the family, and I refused because they had not, or could not, form a soulbond.
And here I was, doing the same thing as my son. Only I had no father to welcome Dustin into our family, or any other family now that my son had disowned me, tossed me off my throne, and exiled me from his lands.
But could Dustin and I form a soulbond? Could I be so lucky? Could he be my fated mate? My sweet alpha…
Either way, Beth’s words stung. They also stuck with me. With everything else I had forced on the boy, I could not force a soulbond on top of it. If we could bond at all, that would ensure he refused, and I couldn’t take such a rejection. I couldn’t risk it.
Beth and Kevin’s argument filtered into my grim thoughts, and I finally started paying attention. Beth was still stuck on giving Dustin more freedom, while Kevin tried to get her to see reason. Neither was backing down and if I wanted any sleep this night, I had to intervene. Though, with Dustin so close yet so far away, I doubted I would be sleeping anytime soon, regardless.
I stared out the window, seeing only darkness pierced by a full moon. “Well,” I said, effectively stopping their arguing, “I could always discuss it with him again, ask him what he would like to do, how he would like to tackle this problem. But we have already discussed it tonight, and he has agreed to remain with us.”
Beth huffed. “I doubt you gave him all the information he needed to make a wise decision. You tend to keep things close to your chest when you want something—keeping relevant information that would let them choose another path, just to get what you want. Are you doing that this time? Because, if you can’t be honorable about this, I’ll help Dustin escape myself, and you can squeal about it all you like.”
Having my honor called into question nearly made me accept defeat, but I knew I was right. Beth and Kevin weren’t even born the last time I had tried to use my amulet to change another human with elven blood. Regardless if it had worked or not, they would have had to go through the same process as Dustin, with the same restrictions, though less severe because back then, there weren’t cameras everywhere, there weren’t nanites floating in the air to record sound and images for the media, government, and law enforcement agencies.
And back then, they would have only come for us with pitchforks and torches, not handguns and tranquilizer darts. Granted, not many humans could defend against my magic should I need to remove Dustin from a dangerous situation. But the fact was, I would rather keep such a spectacle out of the media and away from human knowledge. It would cause mass hysteria to find magic exists, just not for them. The world’s governments would stop at nothing to find us, just to get that power for themselves.
I could not allow that to happen. We had to remain secret at all cost.
Still, that defeated feeling would not leave me. I had lost my son. I could not lose Dustin, too. Dustin was the key to seeing my home again. Surely my son would not turn me away when I brought Dustin to him to record him in the Rhalvan Sayuveni to seek out his elven relations. Surely.
Though, in my heart, I feared he would. I feared my son would have me turned away rather than look at me.
“You look like a kicked puppy,” Beth said. She stroked a hand through my hair, and I leaned into the comforting touch. “Talk to Dustin in the morning. There’s not much we can do tonight.”
I afforded her a small smile and reached up to squeeze her hand. “I will. You both go on if you are done fighting. I fear I am exhausted after the events of today.”
They both left me moments later, and it hurt. I wanted to keep them both near, but I was tired. More than that, though, I wanted to check on Dustin before I went to bed. I needed to make sure he slept peacefully in an unfamiliar room and bed. I needed to make sure he remained in my home with me.
It was silly, of course. I could feel Dustin just two rooms away, but still, I stole through the secret door between my room and the north parlor, then through the one that led into Dustin’s room.
On the bed, Dustin lay curled up in the fetal position beneath the comforter, and my heart ached for him. When asleep, he seemed so much younger than the mere twenty years he was.
I approached the bed and sat on the edge, reached out to brush a lock of hair from his eyes. In sleep, his face wasn’t the serene mask I had hoped to see. Instead, his brows were pinched in a frown. Sweat coated his brow, but he shivered as if cold. Could he be sick? Or was this one of the effects of his body’s continued changes?
I wanted so badly to comfort him. If only I could do something to ease this distress, but I knew there was nothing. Instead of trying to alleviate it with magic, I rubbed Dustin’s back in long, slow strokes, trying to ease him out of such a tense position.
Slowly, ever so slowly, Dustin started to relax. Just an increment at a time, his muscles slowly gave way until Dustin stretched like a contented cat and settled onto his stomach. The greatest reward was when the pinched expression eased into that darling mask of peace that I had wanted to see. I needed to know he was at peace before I could find sleep myself. I needed him to rest well so that in the morning, he could deal with all that had changed in his life.
I needed him to be relaxed, and I needed him to love me.
And that last thought stopped me short. My breath hitched in my throat. After only a few hours, Dustin had burrowed so deep under my skin, into my subconscious, into my soul, that all I truly wanted from this young man was love. Unconditional and forever love. Romantic love.
I shuddered. It would happen only if it were meant to be. I couldn’t force it, and I had to scold myself many times as I sat there and repeat in my mind that I would find a way to be happy with whatever love he was willing to give me, whether friendship, familial or more. And with my heart heavy and residing somewhere in my throat, I leaned down to press a lingering kiss to his sweaty brow where I whispered against his skin, “No matter what the future brings, I am glad to have met you, beauty.”
After, I stayed with him, watching him. For some unknown reason, I couldn’t pull myself away. I wanted him near at all times. I wanted to ensure he stayed relaxed all through the night, but I knew that was unreasonable. I needed sleep, as well, and watching him sleep was creepy by human standards. But as I sat there watching, I found myself frightened. Scared that he would not want me once the change was complete, terrified that he might not survive the change at all.
I stole out of his room soon after that thought and back into my own, closing the secret panels behind me. It took every ounce of my willpower not to bolt like a frightened rabbit. When I made it into my walk-in closet, I laughed at myself. My heart raced, and I panted as if I had run a marathon. Searching my mind, I couldn’t remember a time when I was this frightened since my exile.
Bah. There was nothing to do about it now. Sleep called to me, though I hated to succumb. With shaking hands, I disrobed and slipped on my silk sleeping pants, turned off the lights, and crawled into bed. And as I lay there, staring at the coffered ceiling above me, my mind wandered.
It wandered back to the time before my exile. To the time when I was happy, carefree. When my soul-mount, Aorir, and I would travel the lands, visiting other realms and spending time with my son and his mount. To the time when I knew so many elves, was loved by many, and knew what my future held.
Now, I couldn’t remember many names. Faces of my past friends blurred, and I barely remembered much of the palace’s guards or servants, and I had once known them all by face and name. Once meaningless things, and now I wished I could have them back again, wished I could have one more day in that light and love, surrounded by friends and loved ones, surrounded by joy.
I blinked into the darkness, and every memory took on the cottony quality of drowsiness. I fought to stay awake. The last thing I wanted was to sleep with such memories swirling about my mind to chase me into sleep, but it was a losing battle.
And when I closed my eyes, unable to keep them open a second longer, I heard my son’s voice, “You have brought this upon yourself, father. It is time to deal with the consequences.”
How right he was. And the consequences were direr than ever.
