Beth and Kevin were nice and all, but I wanted to leave. Sure, I’d come back around and talk with Casersis, but right now, I just wanted to be anywhere but here. That apartment was sounding better and better. And the moment a break in conversation came up, I jumped at the chance.
Beth yawned and stretched, obviously tired. Perhaps it was past her usual bedtime. Kevin, finished stuffing his face with cookies and tea, leaned his head back against the headrest of the couch he sat on. And with them damn near falling asleep, I stood up and headed for the door. They couldn’t keep me here. That was technically kidnapping.
I held my hand up and murmured, “Call a taxi.”
My CommLink implant responded, “Calling taxi,” in a pleasant female voice. I waited for it to ring through, but then Kevin happened.
“Override Ardal-636. Cancel transmission.”
“Fuck!” I whirled around and glared at him. “What the hell are you doing?”
My CommLink chirped, letting me know the call failed, but I knew that as soon as Kevin said the word “override.” Only government officials had CommLink override voice commands that all implants would recognize. And Casersis had his own? Was he a government official? CIA? No, not CIA, perhaps an ex-agent from one of the alphabet agencies, but not a current one. But he’s an elf, so he couldn’t get any blood tests, so wouldn’t that exclude him from an alphabet agency?
My head spun almost as fast as my anger rose. “Why did you stop my transmission?”
Kevin gave me an apologetic grimace and motioned in the general direction of Casersis. “You can’t leave until you’re able to disguise yourself as human, D.J. I don’t make the rules. I just follow them.”
I pinched the bridge of my nose, less from the incipient headache and more from gathering the will not to go batshit crazy on good people. “Casersis gave me the option of an apartment away from here. I’m taking that option, or I’m going to find somewhere else to stay.”
“We’ve been through this.” Kevin sighed and leaned against the door frame. “Do you want to become a science experiment?”
“No,” I growled. “I want to be human!”
“Dustin—”
“No!” I shoved at his chest and got up in his face. “Don’t. I had control of my life. I had a plan. I was going to work until I could save up for college and get the fuck out of this city. And it was going well until Casersis showed up. I didn’t ask to change species! I don’t want to be an elf! Every choice I’ve ever had has been snatched away from me, and you want me to just roll over and take it?”
As furious as I was, as strong as I was, Kevin just took my abuse without even grimacing. He stared right back at me with pity in his eyes, and I hated it. “Dustin… It isn’t like Casersis did it on purpose. You stumbled into him, and it just happened. It can’t be reversed, so you just have to live with it for a while until the change completes so you can learn how to hide your damned ears when they grow in. Is that so much to ask? Is living here really such a hardship?”
“Hardship?” By now, I vibrated with tension. The fear of losing control, of losing myself, just kept rising until it choked me. “Not being able to see my friends at work? Not being able to return to work? Having to mooch off someone better off? No, it’s not a hardship,” I spat. “It’s charity, which is worse.”
“Dustin—”
“Kevin, just stop it,” Beth cut in. She sighed and heaved herself out of her recliner to put all the dishes back onto the cart. “Dustin, honey, please at least stay the night, so we don’t have to wake Charles. We’ll figure everything out in the morning, okay? Just for the night.”
I sighed because leave it to the mother of the group to undermine anger with logic and the don’t-wake-the-driver card. She pushed the cart toward the door and patted my cheek. “Please. Talk to Casersis first. Just talk to him before you do anything rash, and then sleep on it.” And then she did something I didn’t expect. The woman gave me a side-on hug. “Promise me.”
I grumbled, let out an explosive sigh, and stomped away with, “Fine. I promise,” cast over my shoulder.
With Kevin and Beth out of my hair, and the estate’s security and staff all but invisible except one man stepping out to show me to my room, I paced the hallway. My room was right next to Casersis’s favorite parlor on one side, while Casersis’s room was on the other. I knew somehow that the elf was still in that parlor. I didn’t understand how I knew and didn’t want to dwell on the fact that I did know, but I knew, and it gnawed at me. The mournful word, weeping, in Kevin’s voice rolled around in my head, and that gnawed at me, too.
Huffing a breath, I stopped outside the parlor door and stared at the hand-carved wood with its scene of an elf resting against a tree for a moment before quietly turning the ornate brass handle and opening it. The brass hinges were well oiled, so it made no sound as it swung open, and I stepped inside.
As I figured, Cass stood before the window, his hand where its print had been earlier, staring outside. A wet inhale told me that Casersis was still silently crying. Whether he knew I was there or not, he didn’t turn around or make any move to acknowledge my presence. Not until I put my warm hand on the elf’s shoulder and squeezed. Casersis froze. He went so still that I couldn’t tell if he was even breathing. His stillness confirmed what he had already told me and what I had already seen for myself—he wasn’t human.
“Cass,” I murmured. Casersis inhaled sharply through that wet nose. Remembering something, I looked around Casersis’s waistline and found a very small, thin, discreet black box tucked under his sweater. I reached for it and unplugged the slender black wire from the thumb-sized battery, making Casersis flinch. “Look at me, Cass.”
Casersis turned around slowly. His brows were furrowed, his face wet, and his eyes red-rimmed. He hadn’t replaced the glamor, and for all the snot and tears, Casersis was still achingly beautiful.
I sighed and stepped forward. I couldn’t let Casersis think I hated him just because I was scared. That wasn’t fair to either of us and if I were honest with myself, I wanted to comfort him. I was still intensely attracted to him even though every molecule of my body screamed at me to run and hide. But logic told me I couldn’t run from this. I couldn’t hide. There was nowhere for me to go, and no matter how fast I ran, there was no way to stop what I was going to become.
He smelled wrong. And something came over me, intense and cold, and I ached to comfort Casersis in a way I had never ached before. It was all-encompassing, and I had to give in. Not giving in would kill me.
I sighed and took a tissue from the box on the windowsill. After mopping up his face and making him blow his nose, I pressed my cheek to Casersis’s shoulder as I wrapped my arms about the elf and squeezed. He stiffened. He didn’t even breathe for a long moment. I squeezed tighter, kissed the spot just below his tapered ear. That seemed to break the spell, as Casersis gasped softly and his arms flowed about my shoulders. They trembled, and I pressed in tighter. This man had comforted me for hours. Now, it was his turn for comfort.
“I’m sorry, Cass,” I murmured into the elf’s neck. “I was… I am scared.”
“Yet… you are still here… with me…” Wonder tinged his teary voice, and it felt like salt in a wound.
“Beth forbade me from leaving.” I chuckled and shrugged. “What mama says, goes, after all.”
“It’s true,” Casersis said, a tiny smile this time rather than wonder. “Why did you stay? It cannot be all Beth…”
“No… it’s not all Beth,” I agreed. “Beth was sprinkled with a little Kevin, a dash of guilt, and a heap of tonight. I can’t ignore how cherished you made me feel so many times tonight.” Casersis’s arms tightened around me, and he pressed his face into my hair. “And I know what it’s like to be lonely.”
Casersis went quiet at that. He was quiet for so long that I wondered if he’d dozed off. Pulling away, I found Casersis staring at me with an expression that I couldn’t read. It wasn’t his mask, but something else, something fragile and old.
It still bugged me that comforting Casersis felt like comforting my jailer, even if it did feel right. Was this Stockholm Syndrome? Was I falling for someone who was bad for me? Or was I just moved because even though he’d kept me against my will, he had been nothing but kind, generous, and genuinely nice to me all night?
I kept my groan in my head, and with a tug, I dragged the elf along by his hand and pushed him down onto the left side of the sofa where his butt indent was. I then turned, grabbed a poker from the utility stand, and stoked the fire. Then I leaned over Casersis and grabbed the throw off the back of the couch. I had to make him comfortable. I had to make him feel better, or anxiety would leave me a mess. And with the blanket in hand, I curled up on Casersis’s lap and tucked the throw blanket around us.
When I looked up, I laughed at the confused puppy look Casersis sported and patted his chest. The elf cocked his head to the side and gave me a questioning stare that he finally put voice to. “What is this?”
I waited until Casersis’s arms wrapped around me and cradled me as they had in the limo before answering. “I’m scared, Cass… but not of you. I’m pretty sure this is the only way to get that through your damned head.” I squirmed to get comfortable and rested my head against Casersis’s shoulder with a yawn. “I was never afraid of you. I don’t think that’s possible, not after how you treated me tonight. Not after how you protected me from Erastus. I don’t want you to ever, ever, think that I’m afraid of you.”
“What frightens you so?” Casersis whispered.
I shuddered and frowned. “I’m trapped, Cass. The only options I have now are the ones you give me.” Then, the dam broke, and I clung to Casersis’s sweater. “There’s just… so much. Am I going to feel different? Will I be the same person? Will I still have my parents’ DNA? Will I still be their child? What will change about me? What’ll stay the same? Will I have to have a bodyguard for the rest of my life?” My stomach went cold, and I tucked closer to Casersis. I knew my eyes were too wide, my face too pale as I asked, “Am I going to live forever like you? If so, how will I watch everyone I’ve ever known die?”
I saw, with aching clarity, Casersis’s heart breaking in his eyes with each question. At the last, the elf closed his eyes and held me as if I would shatter. And I felt like I might if he didn’t hold tighter. “Oh, beauty…” He took a deep breath and sighed it out. “I have never been human, so I cannot answer most of your questions. I have never found one other than you to whom my amulet has reacted, so I have no past experience. I—”
“So, I’m an experiment, anyway,” I said, frowning.
“An accidental one, yes,” Casersis murmured. He searched my face and bit his lip. “You will be immortal. You can be killed, but will never die of old age or illness.” His lips met my forehead, and he whispered against it, “And I hope, with all that I am, that the changes will make you happy in the end. You will still be you, beauty. The amulet does not change or alter memories, habits, mannerisms, or personality. But you will change. Your ears will become tapered and grow, and you will most likely grow taller. You may or may not possess the ability to wield magic with the efficiency of a mage, or you may be defunct and able to manage only the basest of skills. Your sight will become sharper, stronger, and you will be able to see slightly farther. You will never need corrective lenses or surgery for your eyes. You will be able to see more clearly in the dark. And with the physical changes, your ears will become more sensitive, both to the touch, and your hearing will improve.”
With each sentence, he pressed another kiss to my forehead until the skin there almost felt chapped. Even with that strange feeling, I couldn’t bear to make him stop. Those kisses were all that kept me calm. When Casersis lingered there and stopped talking, I leaned heavily against his lips. “How long will it take?”
Casersis pulled back slightly and shook his head. “I do not know. The changes have begun, however, according to your eyes. So I am guessing that it will not take long. Perhaps a year. Perhaps less. I doubt it will be much more.”
“Could you tell?” I whispered. “Could you tell before I bumped into you?”
“I could have,” Casersis said carefully, “if I had seen you before you were right on top of me. Charles opened the door. I stepped out and adjusted my clothes. Just as I was about to step away, you were already putting your hands out to catch yourself. It was either catch you or let you fall face-first onto the floor of the limousine.”
The elf started rocking slowly on the sofa. His eyes closed, and he pressed his face into my hair again, breathing my scent in deeply. “I knew the moment I had you in my arms, though. Before I realized what happened. Before I knew your mind went astray.”
Comforted, I relaxed. The cramps in my stomach from fear and anxiety were long gone, and a feeling of peace and that feeling of being cherished that Casersis brought me returned. “What did you know?”
“That you were part elf. You have more elfin blood than I have ever seen in a human,” he responded. He nuzzled his nose down until he breathed into my ear. “And that I would do anything in my power to make you happy.”
“Why?”
“Because…” He kissed the shell of my ear. “Because sometimes you just know, beauty. And with you in my arms, I finally feel again.”
A shiver snaked its way down my spine, and I pressed closer. “What do you feel?”
“Alive,” he murmured. “Protective.” He pressed a kiss behind my ear. “Peace.” He moved and kissed my right eyelid. “Joy.” He kissed the left eyelid. “Excited for the future.” His lips met the tip of my nose. “…Love.”
The tender, chaste kiss Casersis pressed to my lips made my eyes burn. I wrapped my arms around Casersis’s neck and held on tight. I tried to deepen that kiss, to get Casersis to open his mouth and let me inside, but the elf pulled away with a soft purr. “Not tonight, beauty,” he murmured gently. “Your heart is still so very full of unanswered questions. I don’t ever want your feelings for me to be a question, nor mine for you.”
I whimpered and playfully smacked his chest. “Are you purposely a tease?”
Chuckling, Casersis gave me an impish grin. “I am purposely many things, my beauty. A tease has never been one of them. Though, my promises for the future always prove to be fun in this area.”
“I win!” I crowed.
Casersis’s eyes widened, and he drew back. “What?”
“I got you to laugh!” I said. “Game won. Damn, I’m good.”
That got a hearty laugh from Casersis, and he hugged me tightly. “Was that your sole purpose for coming back to me tonight?”
“No,” I said with a grin. “I don’t ever plan things when it comes to emotion.” I sobered, though, and tangled my fingers in a lock of Casersis’s hair. “I just… I knew you were still in here and knew you were still crying. I couldn’t let you do that all night.”
“That…” Casersis’s lips bowed into a beautiful, proud smile. “That is another part of your elfin nature coming out,” he said. “We often have great empathy for those we wish to connect with. It is stronger in some than others, but all possess it to some degree. It appears to be quite strong in you to surface so quickly.”
Then his cheeks flushed, and he ducked his head. “And you are an alpha. I am an omega. We are meant to comfort and protect one another. I was made to comfort you, and you were made to comfort me.”
“You’ll explain that in more detail later. But for now…” I felt my cheeks heat and ducked my head. “The times I felt so cherished tonight that I wanted to cry…?”
“Were because I cherish you so greatly, Dustin,” Casersis finished for me. He stroked a hand over my hair, feathered his fingers through the strands, and smiled. “Aside from my near-instant feelings for you, there is the fact that you are a great and wondrous treasure. You are the only surviving child between elves and humans whose light will not be snuffed out by illness or age.” His hand trailed from my hair to cup my cheek. “And even if my heart didn’t flutter every time you looked at me, I would cherish you for that alone.”
I smirked at him. “You know, normal people don’t say shit like that until they’ve known each other for a while.”
Casersis shrugged, completely unrepentant, and gave me a gorgeous smile. “I’m an elf. I never, not once, ever claimed to be a normal person.”
“Point taken.”
“So,” he asked, a hopeful gleam to his stunning cobalt eyes and an uncertain smile, “will you stay?”
“Do I have a choice?” I asked. “Kevin already told me I don’t.”
Casersis sighed and kissed my temple, and God help me, but it reminded me of my mom. She used to kiss my temple to calm me down, held me tight in her arms—even when I was fifteen—and whisper that everything would turn out how it was meant to be. I never believed her. But I wanted to believe Casersis.
He whispered against my temple, “It is only temporary, Dustin. I can cast glamors on you, but they only work when I am near. I do not know how far you can go from me without the spell falling away. Once you are able to cast the glamor successfully on yourself, you can do as you please, go where you please.” He kissed me again, and I closed my eyes. “You have my word of honor.”
“Fine,” I groused. “I’ll stay without much of a fuss. But I’m warning you. I will create a fuss on occasion. I hate being cooped up.”
He grinned and hugged me tighter. “You will have free run of the house and grounds, and if you wish to go somewhere, I do not mind going with you to keep the glamor up. You are not caged, beauty.”
That only made me feel slightly better. But it was a start.
