Casersis’s expression fell, and that sad frown returned. With a surprisingly shaky hand, he reached for his wine glass, drank it down, and refilled it in what seemed like one fluid motion.
I perked a brow at him. “It’s bad enough you gotta drink your courage?”
A dry chuckle preceded a shaky sigh, and Casersis stared into his wine glass as he swirled the ruby liquid. “Something like that. It all depends on how you take the information. Less courage… more worry.”
“Spit it out, Cass.” I sighed and rubbed my forehead. “The more you stall, the harder it’s going to get, and the more chance you have to fuck it up.”
Casersis pressed his lips together into a fine, white line and lowered his gaze. After another sip of wine, he set the goblet aside and took a deep breath. “I suppose I should start with a proper introduction.” He paused and toyed with the stem of the goblet. “My birth name is Casersis Merintas, House Sern, King of the Summerlands—the Sun King. I have one son, Kennan, who has taken my place on the throne of our homeland from which I am in exile. That homeland—it—it is that which you saw when your mind became detached from your body.”
I laughed. I couldn’t help it. He had to be joking. …He was joking, right? “Well, that does explain the castle.”
That elicited a smirk from Casersis, and he nodded. “It has its charms, indeed. I designed and commissioned this castle and cut the foundation blocks.”
Eyes wide, I blinked and stared. “What? …How old are you, Cass?” It seemed the most logical question, even if it was the third time I’d asked it that night.
A sheepish expression crossed Casersis’s face, and he took another sip of wine, swirling it around his mouth before swallowing. “I’m not entirely certain anymore. I am older than humanity. As one of the First Generation in my homeworld, I mostly stopped counting after I hit three million years, as that is when I stopped caring about my age. I stopped counting in years after my exile.”
I stilled. Part of it made sense, but my brain kept telling me it was impossible. Casersis gave me that sad, knowing smile. “After a while, I stopped counting decades and centuries. Then, I no longer even counted millennia. It didn’t matter any longer. Time was relative until ‘progress’ came to my little area of the woods, and I had to start protecting my boundaries and coming up with ways of hiding my true nature from the humans who encroached on my territory.”
“Humans?” I squeaked. I set my fork down on my plate, the last two bites of steak forgotten. And it was a damned good steak.
The air over Casersis shimmered. When it faded, subtle changes showed. Casersis’s skin took on a more alabaster quality, smoother and even more flawless. His cheekbones were higher, sharper, his face even more elegant and beautiful than before. The eyes that stared at me looked more like jewels of a pure cobalt blue. Something stuck up out of his straight black hair that looked shinier and even healthier than before.
Casersis looked down at his lap as he reached up with hands that looked more delicate than before and tucked his hair behind his ears. I did a double-take and stared. So that was what stuck up out of his hair. His ear flowed up toward the crown of his head in a delicate taper, an inch or so longer than a human’s rounded ear. He was so achingly beautiful and almost seemed ashamed of every ounce of it.
“What… are you?” I asked breathlessly. “You… you’re—”
“An elf,” Casersis murmured, finishing my statement. “I am one of the last of the First Generation as far as I know. Perhaps the last. It has—it has been a very long time since I have been home.”
Something in my chest clenched at that. I ached to comfort Casersis, but something else didn’t sit right with me, and it was nagging. Though, at the moment, I couldn’t put my finger on it. So, I asked instead, “Why were you exiled?”
The elf shifted in his seat and downed the rest of his wine, though he didn’t refill the glass. “I disapproved of my son’s chosen mate.” He shifted again and frowned as he stared somewhere into his own mind. Then he blinked rapidly and lowered his head with a sad sigh. “I—I am sorry, but I would rather not speak of it now. Just suffice it to say my son tossed me out of my home realm.”
I tried to pick my jaw up off the floor but failed. His own son kicked him out of his world? What the fuck? Really? How could anyone be so cruel? I had so many questions, but I didn’t want to rub salt in the wound, so I closed my trap and toyed with my fork, pondering whether I could finish eating after hearing all that.
“You are taking this quite well,” Casersis murmured, avoiding my gaze. “I thought you didn’t believe in magic.”
“I—Well…” I blinked and sat back. “Kinda hard to not believe after seeing you change right before my eyes. I’m not one to discount what I see unless I have reason to.” I got up, though, and rounded to Casersis’s side of the table. My hand hovered over the elf’s left ear. “May I?”
Casersis went statue still, but after a breath, he nodded. “Of course.”
I traced along the outer edge of Casersis’s ear with gentle reverence from the tip down to the lobe. As I traced along the whorls back up to the tip, Casersis shuddered deeply and let out a strangled moan. The muscles in his neck strained as the elf fought to sit still, and he swallowed audibly.
I chuckled and murmured, “Damn. Gotta remember that.”
“Imp!” Casersis cried. And God, it was good to hear him sound happily frustrated instead of all doom and gloom and sad-puppy.
“Hey, you deserved it.” I laughed again but soon sobered. “And… you were worried about this? You’re gorgeous.” I knelt next to Casersis’s chair and rested my hands on his thigh as I looked up at him. I ached to comfort him. “You’re the first person to treat me like I mattered in a long time, Cass. I’m not going to shun you because you aren’t human.”
The elf’s lower lip wobbled once before he firmed it up. He covered one of my hands in his and squeezed as if he were afraid I would disappear. His head twitched to the side as he said, “No.”
“Then what is it? Cass… tell me.”
Casersis gently turned my right hand over on his lap and traced the outlines of the scar on my fingers. “I’m terrified,” he whispered. “Terrified that you will hate me. Terrified that you will try to run and never return.”
I stilled and looked at the scars for the first time in what felt like hours. “Why? What could ever make me hate you?”
Casersis swallowed hard and frowned. “The amulet I wear is magical in nature—an artifact from my world.” He swallowed hard again and shifted in his seat, a sour scent rolling off him that made me lean closer and bring his hand to my lips, kissing the backs of his fingers. He gave me a tremulous but grateful smile. “It—it reacts to those who have elven blood in them in high doses.” Casersis held on tight to my hand, though not enough to hurt. He took a deep breath and stared into my eyes. “It purifies them… and rewrites their DNA magically. You—” That lower lip wobbled again, and he looked away. “Dustin… I’m sorry. It was only supposed to be done with your permission. It was an accident. I swear. I had no idea…”
My mouth hung open. It hurt to breathe. My chest felt made of ice, ready to shatter. It took me a moment of trying to find my voice, and it cracked as I asked, “What—what are you trying to say, Casersis?”
Casersis closed his eyes. “You are changing. Very soon—I know not how long, but soon—you will have no shred of human DNA left. You are becoming an elf, beauty.”
“No…” I yanked my hand away and got to my feet. “Nope.” With that word hanging between us, I walked away. As I made it to the door and jerked it open, I heard Casersis murmur, “Kevin, get him.”
Heart hammering, I got a bit dizzy, which led to confusion. All the hallways looked the same. It wasn’t hard to get lost. Panic welled in my chest and wound my guts into a knot so hard that I lost my normal attention to detail and sense of direction, and I couldn’t remember which turns would take me back outside. I didn’t know how I would get back to my apartment, but I was sure there would be a taxi somewhere eventually. If not, I would fucking walk.
As I rounded a corner, I found myself face to face with a clothed brick wall. When I looked, the brick wall was a large man’s chest. He resembled a bulldog with a strong, square jaw, hard eyes, and a lean, powerful body. His head was mostly shaved in a standard military crew cut and so blond it was almost white.
The hard blue eyes softened a little, and he smiled at me. “Calm down.” His voice was gruff but held a note of gentility as he grabbed my upper arms. “Breathe, Dustin.”
I glowered at him and struggled against his thick hands. The panic built until I nearly kicked him in the shin. “I am fucking calm. Let me go. Now.”
After a moment, the man nodded and released me. “Now breathe, kid. Keep up like you’re going, and you’ll either puke, pass out, or both. Cool it.”
Everything was tumbling out of my control faster than I could deal with it. My stomach already revolted with my freshly eaten meal. I scrubbed a hand over my face before staring him down. “I want to go home.”
The man gave me an almost tender smile. “You were headed the wrong way. The front door’s that way.” He pointed down the hall. “Everything will be fine.”
Swallowing hard, I shook my head. “Nothing will ever be ‘fine’ again.” I sighed and looked up at the burly man. “I take it you’re Kevin?”
“Yeah. My name’s Kevin Sommers. I’m Casersis’s bodyguard and head of security… when he doesn’t ditch me,” Kevin groused and crossed his meaty arms over his broad chest. “Like he did tonight.”
“He told you to get me.” I edged away, but Kevin didn’t advance on me. Instead, he looked incredibly tired and rubbed his forehead. “I’m sorry, D.J., but we had to terminate your lease at Seymour Commons. Your stuff is being brought here to the estate.”
I let out a strangled sound as a wave of dizziness made me stumble, almost falling over a small wooden table. With quick reflexes, Kevin caught me before I hit the floor on top of the shattered vase and sprawl of thorny roses. He tucked me against his chest before pushing a button on his collar. “Of course, Father.” Sighing, he looked down at me and offered a small, sad smile. “Cass wishes me to set you up in one of his apartments downtown with your own bodyguard for now. We’ll furnish Joe with your letter of resignation in the morning.”
“The fuck you are,” I growled. “This is my life. I’m getting out of here. Now.”
“Not with you still changing, Dustin. You haven’t the magic yet to cast the glamor to hide yourself.” Frowning, Kevin held me at arm’s length and looked me in the eyes. “Do you want to be hunted, kid? Do you want to become a science experiment in a laboratory?”
The last made my blood run cold, and I stilled. No, I didn’t want either of those things. I just wanted a normal life where I had control, where I had confidence in everything I did, even when I huddled in my jacket as I walked home from my job each night, praying not to get anyone’s notice. I wanted to live my life the way I’d had it planned—saving up for college by working construction, living in my studio apartment because it was mine, and I had complete control over everything within it. I wanted to work to earn what I received.
Now, these two men were trying to take all that away from me, and I didn’t know what to do. As Kevin held me, the dizziness made my stomach swoop again. I started to shake so bad that my legs gave out from under me. As if I weighed nothing, Kevin scooped me up and started walking.
“Where are you taking me?” I demanded, though my words slurred from whatever was happening to me. “And fuck, why do I keep getting dizzy?”
“You’re probably getting dizzy spells from whatever that magic is that’s rewriting your DNA. It’s the only thing that makes sense right now,” Kevin replied. “And we’re heading to the front entry to get your coat so we can go for a walk.”
We rounded a corner, and Kevin stopped dead. “Beth…”
“Don’t you ‘Beth’ me,” the woman growled. “You take that boy somewhere inside. It’s too cold for him to be outside with the way that child is sweating. He isn’t going anywhere until his food digests, at the very least.”
The protectiveness in Beth’s tone hit me so hard that I sobbed a breath. At that moment, she reminded me of my mother, and for all I was worth, I wished she were alive right now.
Beth clucked and stroked a hand over my head. “Poor sweetheart,” she cooed. “Kevin, take him to my sitting room. I’ll be in with tea. It’ll soothe his upset stomach, and maybe we can get the love calmed down. This is all just an anxiety- and adrenaline-induced emotional outburst.”
“Yes, ma’am,” Kevin said. Before she could lay into him again, Kevin changed direction and hurried off. Once we rounded another corner, the man sighed, and some of the tension bled out of him. “That woman with kids is like a dog with a bone.”
“I’m not a kid,” I said as I tried to get the dizziness to abate. Kevin’s long strides down the hall didn’t help it any.
Kevin laughed. “To her, Cass is a kid, and so am I.”
We headed down the corridor and up a set of spiral stairs to the upper floors. I was so lost that if Kevin turned me loose right then, I’d never find my way back outside. After a moment, Kevin shifted me to fumble with a door handle before he swung the heavy door open into a room that looked to be straight out of a fairytale. Heavy gold brocade drapes framed stained glass windows depicting unicorns grazing and running through fields. A large hearth took up an entire ten-foot section of the wall. It had a gentle fire crackling within, covered by an ornate screen of polished brass. Crimson and gold area rugs laid in strategic areas on the shining white marble floor. Near the hearth sat two old-fashioned couches with a matching chair and a modern recliner covered in the same crimson fabric.
Kevin crossed to the nearest chair and set me down onto the plush cushions. He reached for the nearest couch, drew over a handwoven throw, and tucked it about my waist and legs. “Move out of that chair, and neither of us will ever hear the end of it.”
“Right…” I shivered now that I was calming, but stayed right where I was. I didn’t want to piss off Beth any more than Kevin did. I wouldn’t cross someone who had been so protective of me.
I sneezed, and the man grimaced as he stood. “Yeah, sit tight, and I’ll get you a box of tissues.” He hustled off, and I watched him go, craning my neck so I wouldn’t lose him.
“You called Cass ‘Father.’”
After grabbing a box of tissues from a sewing nook, Kevin returned and sat in the chair next to me. “So I did.” He passed me the box and elaborated. “Cass adopted me when I was thirteen. I first met him when I was ten. He saved me more times than I can count, but the most important were when I was ten and thirteen.”
Another shiver shook me. At least the dizziness had abated. Thankful for that, I blew my nose until I could breathe again. I stared down at my lap as I asked, “What happened?”
“Well, when I was ten, my dad murdered my mom,” he said. I gasped and stared at the man, and Kevin gave me a pained smile. “Kids started bullying me as soon as I returned to school after mom’s funeral. They said that since my dad was a murderer, it was in the blood, and I was a murderer, too. It went on for months until one day, a group of them surrounded me and stoned me. Then beat me.”
My eyes felt like they would bulge from my head if they got any wider. I reached over, frowning, and grabbed Kevin’s forearm. “I’m so sorry.”
“Don’t be,” he said. “I don’t remember much. When I came to, I wasn’t in any pain. Cass later told me that it was because my neck and most of my other bones were broken. I woke, and the sun was so bright that it was blinding. Then, darkness fell over me. Cass knelt over me, blotting out the light, his hair shielding my view until all I could see was his crying face. I thought he was an angel, and for me, he still is.”
Kevin smiled at that and glanced over at me. “He healed me. The sounds of my bones setting and healing were like gunshots, but I felt no pain.” He shuddered and sat back in his chair before going on. “When he finished, he cradled me against his chest, sobbing and rocking me, and begging me to forgive him for not getting there sooner.”
I sat back as well and frowned at my lap. “And when you were thirteen?”
“Because my dad was in prison and mom was dead, my aunt from my mom’s side took me in,” Kevin murmured. “I woke up one day with a sick feeling after a nightmare. I ran to puke and found my aunt lying on the bathroom floor in a pool of blood. She’d slit her own throat. Didn’t even leave a note. All the doors and windows were locked from the inside, so I knew it wasn’t murder, especially since the knife was next to her on the bathroom floor.”
Kevin paled a little. Swallowing, he shifted in his seat. “After dad’s incarceration and how the police handled him, seeing that everything was locked from the inside, I knew I’d be their only suspect since she didn’t leave a note. I looked everywhere. Cass gave me his CommLink number after the incident when I was ten, so instead of calling the police or an ambulance, I called Cass for the first time, bawling my eyes out and praying he hadn’t changed his number.
“He got there before the ambulance he called. I was in his custody that day, and the next, he adopted me officially. He paid for me to go to the best schools, got me through university, and supported my decision to go into the marines. When I came home wounded, he begged me not to reenlist. I’d spent ten years in the marines by then and decided it was time to come home, and I’ve been his personal bodyguard ever since.”
Fidgeting with the blanket in my lap, I frowned harder. I couldn’t stay mad or frightened of a man who would do these things. And Casersis had been so kind all night, making me feel cherished and loved, even after only knowing me a short time. “He’s a good man.”
“Yes, he is,” Kevin said loyally. “He’s not a monster, D.J. He’s a person, as are you. Turning into an elf won’t ever change that.”
I nodded and shrank down in my seat. “It does change something more important, though.” I swallowed, my mouth suddenly dry. “I’m trapped now, caged.”
Just then, Beth bustled into the room with a cart carrying a steaming pot of tea, three cups, milk, sugar, and a tray full of cookies. “You are not trapped, sweetheart. You just need to keep out of public until you learn your glamor.”
“This has happened before?” I asked, my voice tight.
Both Kevin and Beth shook their heads. “Not to my knowledge,” Beth said as she poured the three of us tea. “He has spoken to us about the possibility, but that he’d given up on it because the elven blood had been degraded so badly in the humans who carried it that none had ever reacted to his necklace.”
An uneasy feeling came over me then, and I looked up at Beth. “I’m surprised none of them ever outed him as an elf if he told them what they would become and gave them the choice.”
Beth and Kevin winced in unison. Kevin took a cookie and shoved it into his mouth whole, while Beth frowned and handed me a cup of tea. “The first did,” she explained. “It took Cass decades to erase memories and spin tales enough to get his privacy back. Ever after, if they failed the amulet, he erased their memories of the encounter instantly, and they went on with their lives as if it never happened.”
I ignored the heat of the tea and took a large swallow to wet my palate and throat. I had to work to set my tongue free from the roof of my mouth. My stomach churned, and I took another swallow and blew a sigh through puffed out cheeks. “So that’s why he was showering me with expensive things.”
“No,” Kevin murmured. “I think that was all because he likes you. You managed to get more out of him tonight than I’ve heard in over twenty years.”
A lump formed in my throat, and I squeaked, “You heard everything?”
The blush that burned on Kevin’s cheeks affirmed it before he spoke. “I have father wired at all times, especially when he ditches me.” He pointed to the discreet earpiece he wore. “If he ever gets into trouble, he has a codeword to say while he tries to talk himself out of it. That buys me enough time to get to him either alone or with a team before shit hits the fan.”
Taking another swallow of tea, I stared into my cup and all but whispered, “What’s he doing now?”
“…Weeping.” The tender, mournful tone in Kevin’s voice felt like a physical blow to my gut. “What happened, Dustin, was an accident.”
“I know.” I sighed. “I know.”
“He’s lonely, D.J.” Kevin took a moment to fix his tea, then relaxed back into his chair. “When Beth and I are gone, he’ll be alone again. We don’t live forever like he does. That’s why he searched so hard for so long with that amulet of his. He didn’t stop searching until after he adopted me.”
Rocking slowly in her recliner, Beth shook her finger at Kevin. “Don’t you guilt the child,” she said. “He’s going through his own ordeal and doesn’t need you piling more onto his shoulders, no matter how strong they appear.” She jabbed her dishpan finger toward Kevin’s chest. “Casersis is a big boy, much as I hate to admit it. He can take care of himself.”
I fidgeted with my teacup and took another sip, closing my eyes. “So can I, Beth.”
“I know you can, darling.” She heaved a great sigh. “Kevin, though, has a hero complex. He has to save everyone. Sometimes, he has to be reminded that not everyone needs saving, or at least, not everyone needs saving all the time.”
“How did you meet Cass?” I asked Beth as I glanced over at her. “You act like his mother.”
She snorted. “According to Kevin, I act like everyone’s mother, but that’s beside the point.” After a deep sigh, she sipped her tea, then dipped a cookie into the brew to soak as she talked. “I was his secretary for fifteen years. After a particularly stressful day at work, I had an aneurysm rupture. When I woke, Casersis stood over me, wreathed in golden light, his ears visible as anything, and asked me if I’d like a less stressful job. I laughed at him for a good ten minutes.”
With another heartfelt sigh, she took her cookie out of the cup and nibbled the softer portion before turning it so the point was down, and dunked it again. “When I got here and saw how he was living… well, he hasn’t been able to get rid of me since. An elf trying to raise a teenage human boy alone? He had staff, but I swear they had no direction whatsoever, and none of them knew how to keep a boy under control.”
Kevin snickered. “I wasn’t that bad.”
“No, you were a good boy,” she admitted, “but you weren’t given any boundaries, were running wild, and were having nightly nightmares. Took me three months—and getting Casersis to prod you—before you’d go to that therapist without throwing a hissy fit.”
Listening to their banter, like a true mother and son gently arguing, I smiled down into my cup. They were a family. They wanted me to join it, even if only for a short time while my change ran its course. I was going to be an elf like Cass. Why did my stomach still knot at the thought of staying here? Why did my chest crawl with anxiety at the thought of not going back to work tomorrow?
…Because I wouldn’t be in control of my life anymore. But if I were honest with myself, my control was always an illusion. It was an illusion that I had wrapped myself in tightly so I could stay sane. I excelled at managing people—at being “the boss.” When I had none of that to fall back on, it strained my sanity to something threadbare. Something in Casersis, though, tugged at that ability to control and manage. I just had to get this anxiety to fuck off and get my head out of my own ass.
I sipped my tea as I pondered one of those home-baked cookies. They smelled delicious, but my stomach still complained a little at the thought of putting anything but tea in my mouth. Beth made it just as strong as I made it at home when I could afford it. Then I thought, I don’t have to afford it here. If I stayed, I’d not have to worry about money. But that was a lie. If I took Casersis’s money, I’d lose my independence. But wasn’t I losing more? Was I losing myself by becoming an elf? Would I be who I am now when the transition was complete? That thought shook me. I had always felt strong, but now I couldn’t have felt weaker.
“Dustin?” Kevin leaned toward me. “Are you all right?”
“Yeah…” I rubbed my eyes and sighed. “Yeah, I’m fine. It’s just been a long day.”
“Your things have already been delivered, darling,” Beth murmured around a bite of cookie. Apparently, manners went out the door with cookies. I grinned at that, hiding it with a yawn as she went on. “I set you up in a room in the north wing.”
“His wing.” I frowned. Did I really want to be that close to him after he’d deceived me?
“Yes,” she said. “The two of you need to talk.”
“I’d rather go to that apartment Kevin talked about.” Tea gone, I leaned over to set the cup back on the tray. When I looked up, Beth was frowning at me with that motherly look of utter disappointment. I immediately ducked my head and sighed. “I need time, Beth.”
“You can have time here.” She huffed. “Casersis isn’t the kind to hover over you. He knows to let you come to him.”
“But, he said—”
She cut me off with another one of her stern looks. “What he said was because you were terrified. What you both need is completely different now that you’re calm.”
“You—you do realize that I’m an adult, right?” I asked, shrinking in the chair as I said it. “I’ve been on my own since I was sixteen. I’ll be twenty-one in two months…”
A warm smile crossed her face, and she said as sweetly as she could, “Age means nothing to me, sweetheart. I’ve mothered an ancient.”
