The next morning, I woke to frantic screams. I bolted upright, unable to catch my breath or make sense of what was happening until I felt Dustin thrashing in the bed next to me. His back bowed so deep I feared he would snap his spinal cord.
The bond couldn’t still be ravaging his body, could it? How long, how often, would it occur? Could I do anything to stop it?
I pulled Dustin closer to me and stretched out on top of him, taking his face gently into my hands, and stroked his cheekbones, trying to be as comforting as I could, knowing it did nothing to alleviate his pain. I just hoped it would bring him a little peace.
“Beauty, I’m so sorry.” I wanted to keep apologizing, but there was nothing else to apologize for. Neither of us had meant to bond quite this soon, and at least it had stayed away all day yesterday so we could both enjoy our day-long date.
Shuddering, I stroked his hair as he fought against the thrashing, trying to make his body obey his will. I could feel him fighting over our bond, could feel just how much he wanted to comfort me. I wanted to kiss his forehead but feared getting head-butted. “Don’t worry about me, beauty. Focus on yourself. I am fine.”
Slight relief flowed over our bond, and I stroked his hair again just as Kevin and Don burst through Dustin’s door. “He’s still getting these bond shocks?” Kevin asked, his voice tight. “Shit, dad.”
“I know,” I said, just barely above a whisper. “Could you please get me a damp cloth so I can at least help cool him down?”
“Sure thing.”
While Kevin headed for the bathroom to fulfill my request, Don came over and frowned down at Dustin. “This is terrifying.”
“As it is for him, as well.” I sighed and shifted so Dustin couldn’t accidentally knee me in the groin. “As it is for me.”
“Can’t you knock him out?”
I glared up at him, and he raised his hands, palm out. “I meant magically,” he said. “If it’s going to happen often like this until it’s finished, shouldn’t we make it so he’s not forced to feel all this agony?”
I had to admit that I could see his point. Dustin should never have to suffer this kind of pain. But I couldn’t ask him when he was in the throes of such debilitating pain that all he could do was thrash uncontrollably and scream himself hoarse.
Dustin jerked under me and, with his next breath, screamed, “Do it! Please!”
I needed no other prompting. The moment Dustin gave me permission, I placed my hand on his head and, with a little push of magic, put him to sleep.
His eyes closed, but he didn’t stop thrashing or vocalizing. But he was no longer conscious, no longer aware of the pain that wracked his body.
It allowed me to relax, even if just a little. I still had to hold Dustin down to keep him from hurting himself, but I was no longer frantic.
Don came over and sat on the edge of the bed. “He’s a strong kid.”
“He is,” I said. “And how did you know? That I had magic?”
“You don’t hide what you are from certain people here, and I’m one of them. I just don’t say anything because, quite frankly, it’s none of my business. And I figured that if you weren’t human, you might have other fairytale things up your sleeves like magic. Especially since I’ve been briefed on keeping Dustin’s ears hidden and helping him keep his species change from leaking to the civilians.”
“Clever,” I murmured. “And—”
“And you don’t have to worry, sir. I’m trained on how to resist torture, and I’m well versed in how to keep my mouth shut about classified information.” He patted my shoulder and offered me a small smile. “Your secrets, any that you share either willingly or without meaning to, are safe with me.”
I knew I’d been lax around him, but it didn’t register properly until now. And I had read his file when Kevin recruited him. He had an exemplary record with a high security clearance. He checked all the boxes, which was one of the reasons I felt safe entrusting him with Dustin’s safety.
After a moment of riding Dustin’s frantic thrashing and trying to soothe him in any way I could without getting hit, I nodded to Don. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.” He shifted and got up off the bed. “Can I get either of you anything?”
Kevin came in from the bathroom then, set a basin of water on the nightstand, and handed me the damp cloth. I immediately started bathing Dustin’s face and head. “Not right now, but thank you, Don.”
“If you change your mind, I’m right outside the door.”
Nodding, I did my best to keep Dustin cool, ignoring Don now that he was heading out of the room. But Kevin took his place on the side of the bed. Without a word, he plucked the washcloth from my hand and rinsed it out in the basin before handing it back. We spent fifteen minutes like that until Dustin’s thrashing calmed to random jerks and his cries turned into heartbreaking whimpers.
“Think it’s safe to wake him?” Kevin asked quietly.
“When he’s stopped twitching,” I replied. I passed the cloth across Dustin’s eyes, gathering the tears that seeped from them. “The residual shocks can’t be helped, and I’d rather he not wake up to such pain.”
“Fuck, dad. How long do you think he’ll keep going through this?”
I shook my head and brushed my hair back out of Dustin’s face, tossing it over my opposite shoulder. “If I’m right, it won’t stop until he’s finished his transformation. I just… I hope I am wrong.”
“I hope so, too.” Kevin went quiet after that, and I was glad. My entire focus was on Dustin, and I didn’t wish to ignore my son while caring for my mate. Though, Kevin kept showing me his love and consideration by taking the cloth away from me, rinsing it, wringing it out, and handing it back without a word. And truly, no words needed to be said between us. It was a companionable silence while I cared for one of the three people in this world who meant the most to me.
Kevin got up and disappeared into the bathroom with the basin. When I heard the water running, I guessed he was refilling it. Dustin was still in so much pain, but his twitches slowed. His whimpers eased. And with each small increment, my heart lightened. The bond between us no longer throbbed like an open, infected wound. It only ached a little during the twitches. I opened the bond up a little more, having winnowed it down when the fit began so I wouldn’t end up useless during his torment. When all I found was that residual ache, I passed my hand over Dustin’s forehead and removed the sleep spell that kept his mind in darkness.
He took a deep breath and groaned. “Oh, I feel gross.”
“Would you like me to help you shower?”
He peeked an eye open at me. “Getting wet with you always ends up fun, but I don’t think I’m up for fun at the moment.”
Then he seemed to think about that. “Though, you could always sit on my face. I might be okay with that so long as you let me breathe on occasion.”
I chuckled and caressed the side of his face. “I think we should wait for that. You had such a rough time.”
“How long was I out?” He cleared his throat, and I looked up at Kevin.
“Be right back,” Kevin said. “Water or tea?”
Dustin groaned, long and loud. “Fuck. Tea, please. Lots of honey.”
“On it.”
When Kevin left, I settled next to Dustin instead of on top of him. He took a deep breath before rolling onto his side so we could see each other’s faces.
“You were out about an hour or so.” I ran my fingers through his sweat-soaked hair, lightly scratching his scalp with my nails.
He let out a contented sigh and closed his eyes. “Thanks for knocking me out.” Rubbing his eyes, he scooted closer until he could lay his head on my arm. “For the record, you can do that in the future if you’re around. I’d honestly prefer not to ever go through that again.”
“It will be done, beauty,” I promised.
I waited in my parlor for Dustin to come out of the bathroom. He didn’t want a shower yet, just to splash water on his face and hold a cold compress over his eyes for a few moments. Even knowing he was fine now, I still saw the agony in his face, the terror in his eyes, and the way his body contorted with the pain as if he were experiencing it right in front of me. But he was in the bathroom with a compress over his eyes, not thrashing in agony on the bed. It made me wonder how much more he could handle.
“You’re melancholy again,” Dustin said as he stepped through the panel that separated his room from the parlor. “I can feel it over our bond. What’s wrong, kitten?”
I sighed and stood, meeting him halfway. He wrapped his arms around me, making me feel safe and loved, especially with the affection and protectiveness that warmed our bond. “I am sorry.”
“Don’t be sorry,” he said gently. “Tell me what’s wrong.”
“I just…” I took deep draughts of his scent. The heady balm of his natural musk calmed me enough to answer. “I can’t stop seeing you in pain. I feel helpless.”
“You aren’t helpless, kitten.” He kissed the side of my neck, making my eyes flutter closed. “You have the tools now to help me when it happens again.”
“It hurts that you have to say ‘when’ instead of ‘if’ as if it is a certainty.”
He shrugged and walked me backward until my knees touched the edge of the sofa, and I landed in my butt imprint. Then he sat on my lap and grinned at me.
“I figure it will keep happening until I fully transition. I know you figure the same.” He nibbled on my cheekbone, making me smile. “But now that I know you can knock my ass out when it happens, I don’t mind it as much. I know you won’t let me suffer if you can help it. And the bond is worth it.” He nuzzled my neck and licked the skin behind my ear, making me shiver.
“I may not be ready for marriage yet,” he said solemnly as he pulled back to look into my eyes, “but the bond feels right. We’ll just have to take things as they come and worry about the implications later. We don’t need to stress out over it, and judging by how fast things seem to be progressing, the hard part will be over soon.”
“We can only hope,” I murmured into his neck. “Seeing you in such pain, feeling your pain through our bond… It is the worst kind of torture I have ever endured, including my exile from my homeland. I do not know how much longer I can watch you suffer, how much longer I can feel you suffer.”
“Oh, Cass.” He stroked my hair away from my face and pulled my head down so he could press a fierce kiss to my temple. “Soon, baby. We can handle it.”
“And then we have forever,” I whispered. The bond between us throbbed with Dustin’s intense love. It humbled me, made me wish I was worthy of such devotion.
“Your thoughts are going into stupidity, kitten.”
I snorted a laugh and looked into his eyes, so full of amusement and love that I forgot how to breathe for a moment. “Stupidity?”
“I can feel you going from happy to distressed.” Dustin poked me in the side. “Stop it.”
Smiling, I held him a bit tighter and nodded. “I will do my level best.”
“Are you okay now?”
Confused, I stared at him for a moment and tilted my head. “I suppose so. Yes.”
“Think we can talk without you going straight into closed-off depression?”
I swallowed hard and whispered, “I believe so.”
“Okay. Good.”
Then Dustin grew serious.
“Now, let’s talk about me going back to work for Joe.”
I wanted to groan. That was the last thing I wished to speak on after our heartfelt discussion. Why did every conversation we had have to resort back to heavy topics I knew would agitate him?
Like ripping off a bandage, I decided to be blunt in hopes we could return to sweeter topics as soon as possible. “I wish you to resign from Nichol’s Construction.” When Dustin’s expression closed off, I went on quickly. “We do not know how long the transition to elf will take, and Joe obviously needs a permanent replacement for you, so his workforce can return to their previous level of productivity.” Dustin’s expression darkened further, and he sat back, putting distance between us, even though he still sat on my lap. “It is for the best, Dustin. Truly. Once you can cast the glamor upon yourself, we can find a suitable job for you, if you wish, with one of my companies. Even if it is one of my construction companies.”
Dustin frowned and slid off my lap, pacing away from me. “You just want me in one of your companies, is that it?” He turned to glare at me. “Cass. Is this just because you don’t want me working for Erastus? Are you telling me I can’t go back to work for someone who’s been like a father to me just because you’re afraid of Erastus? Fuck. He helped me out when I went to see Joe.”
He paced away again and gripped a handful of his hair, pulling it until it looked painful. “Jesus, Cass. Do you know how unfair that is? Do you know how much I enjoyed my job? Do you know how much I love Joe?”
I sat there speechless, staring at his back, unsure what to do. My CommLink chimed. “Bradley calling.” I ignored it, sending it to my CommMail, unable to deal with him at the moment. “Beauty…”
“No, Cass.”
My heart thudded sickly in my chest. Dustin must have felt it, as he turned around and pinned me with a harsh glare. “What did you do?”
Ducking my head, I toyed with the hem of my shirt. Anything to keep my hands busy. “I… I told Kevin to send your letter of resignation this morning. It should have arrived by now.”
“What?”
His cold, flat tone froze my blood. “It is for the best, beauty.” I turned toward him, holding my hands out, imploring him to understand. “You wish to go to college. You are still transforming. It makes sense!”
Dustin took a step back from me, his face a blank mask. “Did you wait to do this until after we bonded? Until after you got what you wanted?” He took another step back toward the door leading to his room. “Did you do this after I fell in love with you just so I would feel obligated to agree, to go along with you?”
He was almost at his door now, fury burning in his silver eyes, turning them to slate gray. “You don’t trust me. You turned me into an elf, kept me prisoner, and now you’ve got me tied down with a soulbond… but you don’t trust me.”
When he turned and jerked the panel between his room and the parlor open, sending a cascade of books to the floor. He did not even glance back. “I’m losing myself. I’ve lost my independence. Now you’re taking my future, too.”
“Dustin…”
“I can’t do this anymore.”
With that, he slammed the door.
He didn’t even look back.
