Watching Dustin walk away was the hardest thing I had ever endured. When the door closed behind him, I wanted to rush after him, to make everything right again. But I did not dare. Dustin needed time alone to process everything. He needed time to get his head in the right place to talk to me again, and it was my duty to give him that time, especially since his turmoil was my fault.
My fault.
What other choice did I have? Joe Nichol had a business to run, and he could not have proper order if he had to wait for one of his best employees to return. And if I had my way, Dustin would never return to that place, not only because my enemy controlled it, but because Dustin deserved better.
But were not thoughts such as those the reason why Dustin kept pulling away from me? Because I continued pushing what I thought was best onto him, taking away his choices?
My breakfast soured in my stomach, and I forced myself through the door to my bedroom so I could shower. Standing under the near-scalding spray, I reveled in our bond while I could, almost certain that Dustin would refuse me now. He had been so angry, so furious that his eyes had gone cold as silver ice. And as much as I wished to, I could not blame him.
I could not blame myself, either. A ruler, a king, for so long, I was accustomed to issuing orders, giving commands, of doing what I thought was right for my people. I was accustomed to not being questioned and setting things into motion without consulting anyone because my people had trusted me to make the right decisions for them and just let them know that they were taken care of. Even after millennia of exile, I was unused to considering others’ feelings when making decisions, whether they affected myself or any other. Especially since I tended to do the same at the companies I owned and ran. If a problem arose, I took care of it. If something went wrong, I would root out the problem and ensure there were measures set in place so that it would not happen again.
And with Dustin, it was so hard not to take on that role. He was so strong, so independent, but I kept forgetting how well my alpha could take care of himself. I kept forgetting that he had done so since he was sixteen years old. Reconciling the sweet young man with the adult I logically knew he was had been hard because, as an elf, he was practically a newborn even though he would still be considered an adult at this developmental stage.
My confusion swirled in my mind as I dried and dressed. It remained with me as I mentally planned to call Bradley and discuss my recent outings and how he could deal with the press to keep me out of the headlines and tabloids.
Bradley. I still needed to deal with him, but I could not find the mental capacity to do it now. And I knew if I tried to deal with it without Dustin there with me, he would get angry. He was already angry enough. Ever since Bradley had given us the dossier of Erastus’s personnel, we had had little time to focus on it. It had not even crossed my mind because I had been so wrapped up in Dustin that nothing else had mattered.
Now it hit me that I had completely lost myself in Dustin and my own mind. Was that what Dustin had been afraid of? Was that the reason he kept pulling away?
No. Dustin kept pulling away because I’d been an idiot. I could freely admit that. At least I tried. Kings, as a rule, were not permitted to be idiots. Then again, when I had been the king of the Summerlands, I had been beloved. I had been kind and had been lauded for my open mind in all matters. And now, a few millennia later, I had somehow closed my mind, and I was suffering the consequences.
Sighing, I sat down on my sofa, right in my butt indent, and laid my head against the backrest. The moment I got comfortable, my CommLink chimed, “Bradley calling.”
With a soft groan, I let it chime again before saying, “Accept.”
“Where the hell have you been?” Bradley demanded. “Every time I try to get hold of you, you disappear, or tell everyone and their brother to keep me from reaching you.”
“It might be, Bradley, because what I do is more important than speaking with you.”
I replayed that in my mind and winced. I was never so crass. Sighing into the silence, I did my best to calm myself. “My apologies, Bradley. I am having a rather rough day.”
“Apparently.”
He went quiet for a time. I appreciated it and took the stolen moment to try to calm myself down. It barely worked, but at least I could hear more than just the rushing of my pulse in my ears.
“I would ask if this was a bad time and suggest I call back later,” Bradley said, “but I don’t want to waste more time trying to track you down again.”
It took everything in my power to suppress my distaste. When I was certain I could speak without sarcasm or venom, I sat back and put my CommLink on speaker and did my best to relax. “Then please, let us begin so we may both move on to more pleasant things.”
Bradley cleared his throat. “Yes. Let’s start with your impromptu visit to your home improvement store. What were you thinking?”
I bit back a groan. “I thought I wished to acquire a gift for my very bored mate.”
The grumble on the line ended with, “Mate? Really?”
I sighed and barely heard a word Bradley said after that. I made him repeat himself, and after a few more moments of discussions, I begged off and disconnected the call before he could argue. I would have to deal with him later, no matter how angry he sounded that I had other things to deal with that were more important than listening to his reports while he berated me for existing and wishing to have my freedom.
At least he had the sense not to show up at my house this time. I doubted I would have been cordial. Though, I did not doubt I would be seeing him soon.
But with him dealt with and off my CommLink channel, I was faced with Dustin’s absence again. I sat at my desk and tried to get some work done. The monthly reports needed my attention and finalized so my team could get on with their work. My mind kept wandering, though. Every time I tried to get into the work, the figures would swim around, and it was not due to a holoscreen glitch.
Pushing back from my desk, I gave the verbal command to save my work and power down my holoscreen. With Dustin away, I would get no work done. With Dustin away, I might as well stare out the window until he returned. His anger toward me when he left… I had no will or drive to do anything until he returned—until we could work through all that had happened, all that we had said.
His anger flowed through the bond like wildfire through a dry forest. It burned me alive from the inside out. I half expected to find smoke rising from my skin, but no such thing happened. Instead, I wallowed in the misery that surrounded me.
As Kevin would say, I’d truly fucked up.
Just as I had that thought, someone knocked on the door.
“Dad?”
I snapped around and blinked at Kevin as I came out of my daze. I offered him a weak smile. “What is it, my son?”
“The materials for Dustin’s shed are here. Where do you want them stacked?”
Kevin waited by the door, leaning against the frame. His broad shoulders and solid build took up nearly the entire doorway. If he sensed my turmoil, he said nothing, and I greatly appreciated it.
“Out back, please. Just outside the gardens. Have them covered with tarps in case the weather changes.”
“Will do.”
He went to step out of the room but paused and glanced at me over his shoulder. “Go after him, dad. And listen to him without talking until he’s done. Then do what he says. He’s an adult. You’ve been treating him like a child. Lock your damned pride and ego away for a while and listen to him like a lover, not a father. You’ve got me to parent. You can’t parent your mate. …Well, unless they ask you to, but I don’t think Dustin is into Daddy kink.”
I snorted inelegantly and crossed the room. Pulling Kevin into my arms, I hugged him for all he was worth, and when I let him go, I whispered, “What would I ever do without you?”
He gave me a lopsided grin. “I hope you don’t find out for a long time.” He took a step back and turned serious. “Start practicing your apologies, but don’t be surprised if he makes you wait to apologize while he tells you off.”
“I will,” I replied softly.
“Then go get him. Don didn’t see him leave, but Dustin’s gone into the forest behind the house.”
With that, he turned and left me to collect my scattered thoughts. I dithered only a moment before heading toward the front hall to grab my coat. Just as I pulled it on and started fastening it, I felt the snap of my wards going off. Moments later, the bond I shared with Dustin flared as intense pain knocked the wind out of me. It dropped me to my knees. It was all I could do to breathe through it before I remembered to winnow the bond down, so it wasn’t overwhelming.
As soon as my head cleared of the fog left behind by the pain, I pushed up to my feet and sprinted through the halls toward the armory, grabbed my crossbow and quiver of bolts, and tore through the house at break-neck speed. I wrenched the back door open and didn’t bother shutting it behind me as I raced through the garden paths and toward the forest.
I heard Dustin’s tortured screams as soon as I broke through the tree line. Shuddering, I paused just long enough to load my crossbow and took off at a sprint again, dodging trees and vaulting over any underbrush or fallen logs that clogged my path.
The closer I got, the more agonized Dustin sounded. His cries echoed off the trees, taunting me, drawing me forward until I used magic to augment my speed and agility. The bond we shared pulled me along, urging me to go faster, faster, faster. My lungs burned. My legs were on fire. But I had to keep going.
I ran, certain that Dustin was dying. Certain that I would be too late. All I saw were trees until I skidded to a stop a hundred feet from where he lay on his back, his fists clutched in a wolf’s fur. He kept trying to push Erastus off him, but the wolf was immovable. He whined and growled in pain as Dustin fought with him.
Dustin had his head thrown back, his mouth open in a silent scream before he drew in another lungful of air and shouted as he writhed.
I pulled the trigger before I even realized I had aimed at Erastus. He let out a shrill yelp as my crossbow bolt hit his right hip, followed by a low whine as he laid his head next to Dustin’s face. I wasn’t even sorry. “Get off him, wolf,” I growled.
Erastus didn’t move, but his whine spoke to his pain. Dustin still had fistfuls of his fur and skin, but I still reloaded my crossbow and took aim again. This time I missed on purpose.
My blood boiled as I watched Dustin writhe under Erastus, pushing and pulling on his hide. Dropping my crossbow, I called upon my magic. My hands wreathed in golden light, I stalked forward. “Get off of him.”
Erastus shifted until he lay naked atop Dustin. Instead of fistfuls of fur, Dustin now had fistfuls of Erastus’s taut skin. The wolf grimaced in pain. “I tried to take him to the estate, but every time I tried to pick him up, it made his pain worse, and his thrashing kept me from carrying him safely. He’s shivering, Casersis. I’m keeping him warm.”
The screaming stopped, and Dustin’s hands fell away from Erastus’s sides. Still, the wolf remained. It was only when Erastus glanced at my hands that I realized I still had my magic pooled and ready for battle.
“You’ll hit Dustin if you go off on me with your magic, Sun King.” He grinned, a feral thing. “And I’m not stupid enough to move until you’ve banked your magic.”
I glared at him and stalked forward. “I have not gone so long without using my magic that I cannot be precise with my strikes, wolf. If you value your life, you will release my mate.”
“Speaking of,” Erastus growled as he ripped the crossbow bolt out of his ass and threw it at me. His still-golden eyes narrowed at me as he said, “You should be ashamed of yourself, you goddamned bastard. Humans were never designed to withstand such ancient magic as a soul bond. And he is still mostly human. Can you not smell it on him? Can you not see?”
“I do not answer to you,” I said as calmly as I could, though my voice shook with a quiet rage that made it hard for me to recognize myself. “One last chance. Get. Off. My. Mate.”
