As I walk into the locker room, most of the guys are already getting their gear on for practice. We have our first game this weekend and Coach has been on our asses about how we need to be better prepared. It was a rough start to the season with practices. There was almost a weird shift, as if none of us played with each other before.
Asher went back to Maine for the summer and played on a different league than the rest of us. Greyson and Liam both went back to their hometowns as well and played somewhere else. Not to mention the fact that we have five new freshmen on our team… it’s been quite the adjustment.
They’re all fairly decent players and there’s a reason why they all ended up at Wyncote. You don’t come here to play on the team if you can’t play hockey. And with a lot of us graduating at the end of this year, they need to bulk up their roster if they want to continue being on the top of the division.
The past two weeks have been pretty rigorous with practice. On and off ice, not to mention all of the lifting and workouts we’ve been having to do. I haven’t heard from or seen Eden since that morning she kicked me out of her apartment, but that doesn’t mean she hasn’t been on my mind.
If I make it into the shower and am not completely exhausted, her face is what I picture while jerking myself off before crashing. I’ve literally been just trying to focus on my schoolwork and attending classes, and then the rest of my day is dedicated to hockey before I ultimately end up passing out for the night.
I’m not complaining. This is the life I signed up for and, to be honest, it’s the only life I’ve known for a long time now. It’s when I don’t have anything going on with hockey that I tend to get myself into trouble. I need some type of a distraction when the boredom creeps in and it usually ends up going sideways.
Hockey helps keep my head on straight and my life on track.
Although, there’s a certain girl who’s been invading the space in my mind. I thought I could fuck her out of my system and everything would be fine. I could go back to pretending like she didn’t exist—but I was wrong.
It’s beginning to feel more like I fucked her directly into my system instead of out.
I’ve wanted to reach out to her, but I don’t have her number. I know where she lives and I’m sure she wouldn’t appreciate it if I just dropped in on her. I can’t come on too strong or I’ll scare her away. Either that, or piss her off. Her distaste for me runs deep, but not deep enough for her to resist me when I’m near her.
“Am I the only one who really doesn’t feel like doing this today?” Cam sounds out loud to no one in particular as he tightens his skates. I glance over at him as I strap on my shin pads and slide my socks over them. He looks as exhausted as the rest of us feel.
“No, I think we’re all feeling it,” August tells him, a sigh slipping from his lips as he shrugs on his practice jersey. “Today’s the last practice before our game on Saturday, so we just have to get through this shit without Coach getting pissed.”
Cam snorts and Simon rolls his eyes. “Easier said than done. With our luck, he’ll probably make us come in to practice tomorrow too.”
Vaughn Carter drops down onto the bench beside Cam. He’s one of the freshmen and we’ve been doing our best to try and take them all under our wings. After all, once we leave, it’s up to them to keep the legacy and team going. Simon Murray and Greyson Hale are all a year behind Logan, August, Asher, Cam, and I. So, the three of them will at least still be around until the new guys feel more comfortable here.
“Is this usually how it is?” Vaughn asks all of us as he slides the straps of his helmet on. “It seems pretty intense.”
“Not usually,” Logan tells him as he rises onto his skates and grabs his gloves and stick. “It depends on how everyone is playing. As long as we’re doing what we’re supposed to do, practice resumes as normal. Except when it’s time for the playoffs. Then we’re back to this shit.”
August glances over at me as I finish getting dressed. “You’re quiet today. You good?”
I look over at him as I rise to my feet and grab my gloves. Some of the guys are already heading out of the locker room and I wait until it’s just August and me left in the room. I’ve known him for a long time now. August, Logan, Cam, and I all grew up together. The three of them came here for college, so we were separated for two and a half years.
But if there’s anyone that I actually tell the inner layer of my secrets to, it’s the three of them. Logan and Cam headed out before I had a chance to say anything and I know I can trust August and talk to them. We don’t always see eye to eye on everything and I know he hasn’t always agreed with the things I’ve done in the past, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t have my back.
Especially after everything he went through himself. We all stuck by his side when he found out that Poppy was pregnant and they had to work things out between the two of them. Thank God they did and brought the most beautiful little boy into the world, whom we’ve all embraced as one of our own.
I honestly don’t know how he does it and have to give him major props. Juggling school, a fiancée and baby at home, on top of our demanding schedule with hockey. He’s gotta be fucking exhausted.
“I can’t get this girl out of my head and I don’t know what to do about it.”
August raises an eyebrow at me. “You mean after all the shit you’ve talked about the rest of us settling down, you finally found someone who holds your attention for more than one night?”
I give him the middle finger before sliding my hands into my gloves. “I met her over the summer and we hooked up. I had no idea who she was until the school year started and I ran into her. She hates me, which is cool. It honestly makes shit hotter between us.”
“You would be after someone who hates you,” August chuckles, shaking his head. “Then again, I don’t know if there’s anyone who could possibly put up with your shit for long enough.”
“You guys all stuck around,” I remind him, winking.
August laughs again. “That’s only because you’re a kick-ass defenseman. We need you around.” He pauses for a moment as we both grab our sticks and head out of the locker room. “So, who is she? And what’s the problem?”
“I’m not at liberty to say who it is. And I don’t know what the real problem is, honestly,” I shrug as we walk down the tunnel toward the ice. “I ended up at her place, like, two weeks ago and haven’t heard from her or seen her since.”
August is silent for a moment, pausing by the door as I step out onto the ice before him. He’s right behind me, our skates sliding across the icy surface as some of the guys skate past us. “You have her number or anything?”
I shake my head, grabbing a puck with my stick as I skate a circle around August. “I know where she lives.”
“So, if you want to see her, go see her.”
Tilting my head to the side, I slide to a stop as I raise an eyebrow at him. “Isn’t that kind of a creeper thing to do?”
August steals the puck from me, laughing as he skates past me. “It’s creepy enough that a girl has your attention for this long. If the shoe fits, fucking wear it.”
His laughter follows after him and I can’t help but laugh along with him. He’s completely right. Eden’s going to be pissed as shit when I show up at her front door, but I don’t even care. I need to see her. You know, so we can fall in bed together once more and say that it’s the last time even though we both know damn well it isn’t.
I don’t want anything more from her than that. And I think it’s something we could come to a mutual agreement on. At least, I hope so.
Leaning down, I push off on one skate, repeating the motion with each foot as I power skate across the rink. My legs are sore from the intense week we’ve had and I’m honestly looking forward to the day off tomorrow. And as much as I want to go see Eden, it’s going to have to wait.
I’m going to take August’s advice, but not yet. I haven’t run into her at the rink in the past two weeks, so I know she’s been avoiding me. And I want to know why. I’ve hung around longer than I normally do, trying to catch her when they’re supposed to be practicing. I don’t know if she switched her schedule to skate at different times or what is going on.
This will have to wait until after the weekend. Eden is fucking with my head enough right now. I have to be on top of my shit this weekend at the game. Grabbing a puck, I skate around, stickhandling it before shooting it at Asher who blocks it from the net.
My future depends on how well I play. If I don’t play well, our coach has no problem taking away ice time from people and that is the most important thing.
I’ll deal with Eden Finley after the game.
At least I know I won’t fuck the former up.
