Winter and I leave our apartment for the rink when the sun is just cresting the horizon. We were able to work it out with our coaches and the directors to give us time to practice in the morning. We’ve all been stuck working around the hockey team’s schedule for years and for some of us, only being able to skate in the afternoons or evenings doesn’t work. Especially when we have to do it when there isn’t hockey practice.
There was no reason why they couldn’t have the rink open to us in the mornings or during the day. So, I got Winter to come with me and convince them to let us. I didn’t tell her that it was because I wanted to avoid any run-ins with Hayden. I just told her that I wanted other options and I like waking up and skating first thing in the morning.
My body isn’t exhausted from the hours of the day before it and I feel like I personally skate better when it’s the first thing I do. It helps to ease my soul and calm my mind. On the ice is the only place I truly feel at home.
As we pull up to the rink at campus, I notice there’s only one car in the parking lot. A wave of relief floods me when I see that it isn’t Hayden’s black Subaru. I didn’t think I would see him at the rink this early anyway, but it’s only a matter of time before we run into one another again.
So far, I’ve been able to successfully avoid him. It’s been a little over two weeks since Winter found him in my room and I kicked him out. I made the switch immediately for our skating sessions to be in the morning so I wouldn’t chance seeing him when he was coming in for practice in the evenings.
I’ve contemplated what Winter suggested in my mind over the past few weeks and I still haven’t made a decision on what I want to do. It seems like it could be a seamless plan, but I don’t know if it’s worth the risk. Once you start spending time with someone, it’s hard to not fall into the habit of wanting to be around them even more.
And then one thing always leads to another, and then someone always ends up getting hurt. I know that Hayden and I have both expressed not wanting to be in a relationship, but how do you keep things strictly sexual with someone and not develop some type of feelings?
I can’t let myself make the same mistakes I’ve made in the past. I learned my lesson the hard way with Chance and I refuse to go down that road again. Things with Hayden and I would never work out. And I can’t help but wonder if it’s better to go the safer route and just keep my distance from him. Hence why I’ve been avoiding every possibility of running into him.
Their team has been the talk of the week with the game that they played over the past weekend. From what I heard others talking about, they beat the other team effortlessly. It sounded like the other team didn’t even stand a chance, which weirdly made me feel a sense of happiness for Hayden.
And that was a feeling I didn’t like.
I would never wish anything ill upon him, or any of the other guys for that matter. At one point, I was really close with all of them. They always expressed their dreams of playing professionally one day and, to be honest, I want that to happen for each and every one of them.
But hearing that Hayden played such a great game and the fact that it made me happy for him threw me off. There’s no place for any feelings for Hayden King in my life, whether it’s happy or sad. I need to just keep my focus on the negatives where he is concerned.
“You okay?” Winter questions me as we walk into the empty arena and make our way to the locker room. None of the other girls wanted to come in this early and will probably be filing in when we’ll be leaving for class.
Winter sits down on the bench and we both pull our skates out of our bags as we slip out of our sneakers. I look over at her and find her watchful gaze on my face. “Come on, Eden,” she urges as she pushes her feet into her skates. “I can tell something’s going on with you. You’ve been weird for the past few days.”
I lace my skates up and rise to my feet as she does the same. “I just have a lot going on in my head right now.”
“Hayden?” she asks with no judgement. My eyes meet hers and she frowns. “Have you seen him or talked to him since the other week?”
Shaking my head, we both walk out of the locker room and head down the tunnel toward the ice rink. “I’ve been trying to avoid him. You know how I feel about him and I don’t know if it’s worth getting involved with him, even if we keep it strictly sex.”
“I mean, it’s not like it’s something you’ve done before,” she says as we both step out onto the ice. “I get why the thought of it would freak you out. It’s pretty simple if you don’t let feelings get involved.”
“And that’s what I’m afraid is going to happen.”
Winter spins on her skates and begins to move backward as she tilts her head to the side. “You’re afraid you’re going to develop feelings for Hayden? I thought you can’t stand him?”
“I can’t. But what happens if I get to know a different side of him and he works his way under my skin? Then what the hell am I supposed to do?”
“Would it really be such a bad thing?” she questions me before stretching out her legs on her skates. “I mean, I know you had a bad experience with a hockey player in the past, but that doesn’t mean they’re all the same way. Look at some of the other guys and the relationships they’re in now.”
I stare back at her for a moment. I know exactly what she’s trying to say, but that changes nothing. Nothing good would ever come from Hayden getting under my skin.
“That would be the absolute worst thing that could happen.”
