I feel her warmth against me before I even open my eyes. Her breathing is still shallow, her chest rising and falling with every soft snore that slips from her lips. Slowly opening my eyes, I blink rapidly against the harsh morning sun that shines through the window.
Sydney stirs slightly in her sleep, her naked body pressed against mine. My arms are still wrapped around her, holding her tightly as the night before plays over in my mind. Dancing with her at my brother’s wedding, bringing her back to my parents’ house, and sharing a bed with her.
We crossed a line that I had never intended on crossing and there was no going back from it now.
Slowly sliding my arm from under her neck, I roll away from her, careful to not disturb her as she continues to sleep. My head is pounding, I need to take a piss and get something to drink. After the alcohol we consumed at the wedding last night, I’m sure Sydney is going to be feeling like shit when she wakes up too.
She doesn’t stir as I slip out of the room and softly close the door behind me. The smell of pancakes and bacon drifts up the stairs, coming from the kitchen downstairs. My stomach growls and I slip into the bathroom to relieve myself. After washing my hands and brushing my teeth, I head downstairs, where I find my mother already making breakfast.
No one else is in the kitchen with her and I pour myself a cup of coffee before dropping down onto one of the barstools at the island.
“Rough night?” she questions me as she slides a plate with some food on it in front of me. I don’t miss the twinkle in her eye and the smirk that twitches the corners of her lips. “I spoke to your brother this morning and he and Evelyn were getting ready to board their plane to Hawaii.”
“Is he going to let you know when they land?”
Knowing my mother, I’m sure she’s already given him the rundown of how he needs to let her know that they get there safely. I can’t fault her for it. Her children have always been her life and after her cancer diagnosis, it’s like she’s been looking mortality in the face ever since.
She confirms what I already knew and we chat about Christmas plans as I finish my breakfast. Since the holiday is only three days away, my mother is already preparing and making sure that everything will be ready. There’s a sadness to her when she speaks of it, since my little brother will be missing the day with us, but she seems happy enough that the rest of her family is here.
As she slips out of the kitchen, I grab a clean plate and pile some food on it before pouring Sydney a cup of coffee. She hasn’t come out of my bedroom yet and I don’t know if she’s still sleeping or if she might feel a little uncomfortable just walking down here. So, I decide to take her breakfast in bed instead.
When I reach my bedroom and slip inside, Sydney is already awake and out of bed. She pulls her shirt over her head, quickly slipping her arms through the holes as I stride into my room. Her face is bright red as she spins on her heel, covering her body as if I didn’t see every inch of her skin last night.
“You hungry?” I ask her, a grin tugging on the corners of my lips at her sudden shyness. My eyes search her face, looking for any hint of regret, but if she’s feeling it, she’s concealing it pretty well.
Sydney lifts her eyes to mine, a smile playing on her lips. I watch her eyes as they widen when they drop down to the plate in my hand and she eagerly nods. “I’m literally starving and my head is killing me right now.”
I motion for her to sit down on the bed and she follows suit, sitting cross-legged as I set the plate in front of her and hand her the cup of coffee. I watch her as she wraps her hands around the warm mug and brings it to her plump lips, taking a sip before she gives me a look of pure satisfaction.
“Damn, Golding, you know the way straight to my heart.”
My breath catches in my throat from her words, but I quickly force myself to breathe as I sit down on the bed beside her. “We need to talk about last night.”
Sydney glances over at me as she shoves a piece of pancake into her mouth. Her eyes widen slightly, bouncing back and forth between mine before she washes down her food with a sip of coffee. “What do we need to talk about? We were both drunk and it happened.”
“I know and I wanted to apologize to you for it,” I tell her, my voice hoarse as I choke out the words. Her eyes narrow slightly. “I don’t want you to feel like I took advantage of you or anything because of the state we were both in. And I don’t want to ruin our friendship because of it.”
Sydney tilts her head to the side, raising an eyebrow at me. “Asher, I wasn’t that drunk. I knew the decision that I was making, so it isn’t all on you. And I agree. I don’t want our friendship to suffer because we got drunk and messed around.”
I stare at her for a moment as she directs her attention back to the food in front of her. Words fail me in this moment and the tension hangs heavily in the air between us. There’s a shift in our friendship now, whether either of us want to admit it.
You can be the best of friends with someone, but once you see each other naked, everything changes. I’ve tasted and touched her in ways I never have before. I’ve been balls deep inside of her. How the fuck are we supposed to just go back to the way things were before, like none of this ever actually happened?
I can’t tell if Sydney really agrees with what I said about not ruining our friendship or if she’s just agreeing with me because she doesn’t want to be the one to cause any ripples in the water. I don’t know how the hell to proceed, but I guess the only way I can is by pretending things are back to the way they were before.
That should be easy, right?
I mean, Sydney was one of my closest friends before we ended up in bed together. All I have to do is push the memories from my mind and get things back to the way they were before. Our friendship can still recover from this. It’s not over between us, and that thought brings me a little bit of relief…
Even if it’s as much of a lie as our fake relationship.
