and a change of clothes, I make my way down to the gathering. My steps are slow, and I crack my knuckles as I follow the dirt path. The Elites haven’t once been to the gathering at dinnertime since they arrived. They eat in their cabin, and Darius and his closest men eat in my home. Which I make sure to avoid. Breakfast is enough, especially after the nightmares of my past have come back to haunt me in my sleep.
I’m not comfortable leaving them alone in my home, but they can’t get into my office without knowing the spell to open the door, and my office is where they might find anything useful. With that in mind, I avoid them in my home as much as I can.
Nervous about going to dinner, I pinch my lip between my fingers. It’s not like anyone will know what I did, but shame still fills me. The Elites are a threat to us, and I just grinded on one until I came. Even after a long shower, after I scrubbed Darius’ scent off of me, I still don’t know what came over me. It doesn’t help that Runa just let it happen either, basking in his attention when he caught us. She fucking hates people, yet she practically rolls over for a belly scratch from Darius. The traitor.
I shake my hands out when I reach the first trees that scarcely surround the gathering and straighten my spine. My face gives nothing away as I approach my pack, smiling at those who call out to me in greeting, acting like everything is absolutely fine. Which it’s fucking not, not in the slightest.
Taking a seat on my usual bench, I nudge Kade’s shoulder gently, mindful of his injuries. He turns and looks at me, a sad smile on his face before turning back to the sunken fire pit in the middle, the glow of the flame caressing his face. I bring my hand up and rub the back of his neck, reassuring him and letting him know I’m there. I know he feels he let me and the pack down, but he needs to move on and learn from it. It just may take a little time with the way he stews over things.
I ripped the entire pack a new set of assholes, especially Josie, for voting for Kade to go to The Deadlands and completely disregarding my orders. I told them all that nothing can be done now and that they were safe, regardless of the Elite now being here. They’re still extremely wary of them wandering around our home, but they’re not outright crying and running away anymore. That’s something at least.
Josie walks over to me, a smile on her face as she presses her cheek to mine in greeting. She hands me a plate with strips of meat and vegetables, and the smell makes my mouth water. I see extra meat, and I know it’s her way of apologizing to me again for pressuring Kade. “Thanks,” I tell her as she walks back over to Danny and sits down.
I may still be more upset with her because of how close we are, but as she and Danny hold each other’s eyes for a moment, jealousy rises in me. I don’t want a mate, and I know I’m not capable of what they have, but it still doesn’t stop me from wishing for it deep down sometimes.
A family to call my own. Someone who is solely mine, and I’m theirs. Just like Josie and Danny are to each other. Their love is strong and true, with a pureness that cannot be replicated.
Shaking my head at myself, I watch the pack continue to hand out food for everyone, the smaller plates being handed out for the pups first after me. I don’t know what’s wrong with me lately. Everything just feels off, and I’m desiring things I haven’t wanted before, at least not as strong as it is now.
I spot Katy and Oscar across from me, huddled together, but otherwise looking okay. Taylor stands with Sebastian, plates in hand and Seb lifts his plate in greeting, giving me a wink. I roll my eyes at his usual flirty self. Hudson and Colten sit close together on the bench further to my left. Hudson looks annoyed while Colten looks bored, resting his head on the back of the bench with his hands behind his head. They’re always bickering about something, but it seems more often lately.
A blur of motion has my head turning as Sam runs over to us, her smile shy as she looks at Kade. “Hey,” she whispers, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear.
Kade ruffles her light brown hair, and she scowls up at him as he grins at her. “Hey, winglet.”
“Kade,” she whines. “Stop calling me that.”
He laughs, and my heart warms at the sound I don’t hear often anymore. “Never. Go on to your mom and eat.” He spins her by her shoulder and nudges her toward her mom, Sybill. She scowls at him over her shoulder as she goes, and I chuckle at the pout that forms.
She’s shy around most people, but Kade is an exception. “She likes you,” I say to him, and he just shrugs at me, watching as Sam takes her seat on the ground at her mom’s legs and starts to eat.
Josh appears at my side and sits to my right with a plate of his own piled high with food, giving my shoulder a little squeeze. “Damn, have you not eaten today?” I ask him, looking at the amount of food on his plate. He moves the plate in front of me and passes it to Kade and my mouth drops open at him. “Where in all of Vrohkaria are you putting all that?”
Kade smirks and goes to dive in when I slap his hand away. “What?”
“I want to bless the food tonight. We haven’t done it in a while,” I inform him, and he sits back and waits for me to continue. I clear my throat, about to start the blessing, when movement catches my eye over the fire in front of me.
I suck in a breath as Darius, Leo, Damian, Zaide, Maize and Jerrod, walk into the gathering. My pack is silent and shuffle in their places at their arrival. But no one panics or screams thankfully. My pack looks toward me, and I pass Josh my plate of food, standing awkwardly as I address my pack. “They are our guests,” I tell my pack, loud enough for all of them to hear. “There are plates on the table near the pot, grab whatever food you would like,” I say to the Elites swiftly and take my seat again, plate back in hand.
They walk to the center, some of my pack getting up and moving to sit away from them. Their wary eyes tracking their movements. The Elites know what is going on around them, but they don’t appear bothered by it. It’s like they don’t care that my pack is scared of them at all. I watch Darius under my lashes as he picks up a plate and takes a selection of meats and vegetables from the low wooden tables in front of the fire pit. He looks at the recently vacated benches and takes a seat, the rest of the Elites joining him. Maize is the last to grab her food, her light eyes looking toward Kade every now and again in a way that sets me on edge. I wait until everyone has gotten their food and just before they start eating, I start the blessing.
I bow my head slightly and close my eyes. Blocking the Elites’ watchful eyes on me, I say our prayer. “The earth is my witness, of the blood that’s been spilt. The moon is my eyes, that food will not wilt. The human is my mind, as I honor this feast. The wolf is my protector, as I safely eat. Zahariss.”
“Zahariss,” my pack echoes the name of our female wolf goddess as I open my eyes, and they start to eat their food.
Feeling an intense gaze on me, I look up and see Darius staring at me over the flames of the fire. His face has an eerie glow as his stare bores into mine, and I shift in my seat, feeling a warming sensation in my chest. He has a look of confusion on his face, and I guess it’s because he has never heard the Goddess’ blessing before. No one follows the old Gods anymore, so I’m not surprised.
I break eye contact with him and take strips of meat off my plate and start to eat. The dinner is quiet, much quieter than the liveliness we usually have. I lean back on the bench, not feeling very hungry anymore and watch my pack. Worry for them is at the forefront of my mind, wondering how I can get them to relax. I know the threat that Darius will take me to the Highers and expose our home is still there. If that happens, once they find out the truth, the Highers will take my pack members back where they originally came from. But they won’t hurt them now, not physically. They have nothing to gain from it. Apart from maybe getting to me.
“Alpha,” a small voice calls as most of us are finishing our food, and I look toward Samantha, sitting with some other pups.
“What’s up Sam?” I ask her, leaning forward to put my plate on the floor, and Kade looks at her with a confused look on his face.
“Can you tell us the story of the Canaric wolves again?” She fiddles with her fingers, her hair covering her face as she looks toward the ground. She is still far more nervous than a thirteen-year-old should be when speaking up and having attention on her that’s not from Kade. If I ever saw her father, I would happily put him in the ground.
I get up and walk toward where she’s sitting on the ground, her mom sitting on the bench behind her. I lower myself down and sit cross legged across from her, giving her a smile as I put a hand atop her head and stroke down her hair.
“Of course, I will.” I slide up next to her and put my arm around her, holding her close as I look into the fire, aware of everyone’s attention on me. I won’t refuse her though, even with the Elites here. “Thousands and thousands of years ago, a man and a woman loved each other very much, but they couldn’t be together. Their families demanded that they had to mate other people of their fathers’ choosing. The man and the woman knew this, but they were too madly in love, and wanted to run away together. It took many months of planning until they finally had a plan set in stone. All they had to do was wait until a situation arose where they could sneak off, away from prying eyes.
“During the wait, the woman fell pregnant with her lover’s babe. They became more desperate than ever to escape their packs, so they could live and love freely. To be mated and be a family. She hid her pregnancy from everyone, using tonics to hide how her scent changed, especially from her family. Only her beloved knew. Luck was on their side when the woman was around six months pregnant. The mate of the King of Vrohkaria, who the people loved dearly, had just birthed a son. The lands were full of celebrations, and the king invited all of Vrohkaria to join them a week later to celebrate and welcome their new son at the castle in Fenrikar.
“A week went by, and on the night of the celebration, the man and woman planned to sneak out and run away together. It was the perfect time as everyone would be too busy celebrating. So, they went to the castle and waited for the right moment.” Even though most of my pack have heard this and many other stories before, they still hang on to every word, their focus entirely on me. “As the night went on and it was getting closer to the time they had agreed to leave, the woman couldn’t find the man. Panicked, she searched many rooms of the castle until she decided he must have gone to their meeting place to wait for her. Convinced, she made her way through the castle, but she came across something she never wished she had. That she wished wasn’t true.
“The love of her life was with another woman in the hall that led outside to the gardens. At seeing this betrayal, it felt like her heart was being torn apart, and the woman choked back a cry at seeing them together. The man heard the small sound that escaped her and turned to look at the woman he loved very much. The woman could see the pain in his eyes as they stared at each other, but she could also see the warmth and excitement he had for this new woman. Then she saw the bite mark just below his ear, the mark she was going to give him when she claimed him as his mate. But this other woman had done it instead, and when she looked toward her, her entire world shifted as she saw he had placed his mark on her too.”
“The man and the pregnant woman weren’t mates?” Skylar asks from next to her mom, further down from where me and Sam are sitting.
“No,” I shake my head at her. “The man and the pregnant woman were just very much in love with each other. They chose to be mates and wanted to complete the ritual after they ran away, but they were not bloodmates. But that all changed when the man came across his bloodmate. There was nothing either of them could do, a bloodmate cannot be ignored or resisted. When bloodmates bite their mates, it stays for all of time. It’s a powerful and special connection not many find, and the man just happened to find his bloodmate the night they planned to start their new life.”
“What happened next,” Sam whispers, curling up next to me even more.
“Devastated, the woman ran out into the castle gardens alone. The man stayed inside with his bloodmate, unable to go after his lover and the babe growing in her womb. The woman ran for days, away from the castle, away from her home, until she finally stopped in the center of a blooming, grassy clearing surrounded by lilk trees.”
I see Darius lean back against the bench out of the corner of my eye, his barely touched food resting on his knee as he listens to the story of how the Canaric wolves came to be from my family, not history texts. I meet his eyes briefly, finding his rapt attention on me, before looking back into the fire.
I take a breath and continue. “The woman sobbed and sobbed on the ground of colorful flowers, crying her soul out until she couldn’t shed a single tear anymore. Heartbroken and lost, she lay there for a long time, until she went into labor early. She was in labor for seven days and seven nights until her baby girl was finally brought into the world, but she didn’t move. Alone and with no hope in sight, the woman screamed to the land and the below, begging Zahariss and Cazier to save her baby, ignoring the pool of blood dampening the ground beneath her.
“What felt like hours upon hours, the Gods finally heard her screams and came to her. Zahariss was light in color, and Cazier dark. They were bigger than any other wolves that roamed the lands. They could do nothing for the woman, nor her babe. The child was born too early, and the heartbroken woman had lost too much blood. They could only offer her comfort. Zahariss laid down and wrapped herself around her right side, allowing the mother with her still babe to press up against her, offering her warmth even though it coated her fur in blood. Cazier, the ever-fierce protector took her left side, watching over them as they waited for her last moments.
“The woman was slowly fading. She knew she was close to taking her last breaths, so she begged the Gods in a broken voice for her child to be reborn. For her child to have a chance at life again, for her to find her bloodmate and live the life her mother felt she should have had. The woman’s eyes closed for the final time after her pleading words, cradling her still child to her chest as her life’s blood soaked into the earth, causing the surrounding lilk trees to change in color. At that moment, her will for her child to be protected seeped into the ground and traveled to the lilk trees. It is said that it’s still there to this day.
“Zahariss and Cazier watched as their bright essence twirled up into the sky as the babe rested on her chest, the woman’s now stiff arms holding her in place. Zahariss stayed where she was, and looked toward Cazier with a question in her eyes. Cazier walked over to the babe and touched his nose to her for a long moment as Zahariss watched him, her eyes glowing. A blue and black essence rose up and shot out in different directions into the night sky, and both wolf Gods sat next to each other and watched on until light broke the dark.”
“That’s how the Canaric wolves were made,” Sam says in a tiny whisper.
I look down at her and put my finger beneath her chin gently until I see her eyes. I smile when she looks at me. “When the king’s mate had another child, she delivered a female pup, not a babe. The king and his mate didn’t know what to do, it had never happened before in the history of wolves, but they loved her all the same. On her seventh birthday, she turned into a little girl, and they were stunned, but extremely happy. The little girl had markings on her face, among other places and her parents later found out it was a symbol of the Gods, the markings on her body meant she was the Heir to the Goddess Zahariss.”
A scoff sounds, and my head turns to Maize, who looks at me with disgust. My eyes flash in warning, and I see a wariness creep into her own eyes before she looks away, folding her arms and crossing her legs. My gaze moves to Darius, who ignores her and keeps his focus on me, head tilted. I look back into the fire.
“Many months later, another pup was born to another family, a male. On his seventh birthday he changed into a little boy and had markings on his back that went to the top of his shoulders and neck. They were different in color, but similar to the female Heir’s markings. He was Cazier’s Heir. There were only ever two born with Heir markings at one time, one male and one female, and they could do incredible things. They were honored by all wolves and set the balance of Vrohkaria, just like Zahariss of the lands and Cazier of the below did. The only time a new Heir would be born is when the current Heir died, and we wolves live a very long time, so it didn’t happen for hundreds of years. An Heir hasn’t been born or seen in over three hundred years now. It is said that they went into hiding as they were ruthlessly hunted by those that thought their Heir power was too dangerous to be left alive. But the Gods still watch over us, even if some of us are a bit misguided at times. But that’s how the Canaric wolf came to be. Through the heartbreak of a woman losing the love of her life, wanting her babe to be reborn and have a chance at life and happiness, and the Gods granting her wish in the only way that they could.”
“But why did Cazier and Zahariss decide to have Heirs? They could have just reborn the babe,” Sam says, blinking up at me slowly.
“No one really knows,” I tell her as her eyes begin to droop. “Some say because they couldn’t be together, they had hoped that their Heirs could live the life they never had like the woman wanted, but there is no record that any of the Heirs ever mated. Others say their power was fading, so they put the last of it into making the Canaric wolves. Having their legacy live on in this way while maintaining balance in the lands. Either way, the Gods are always with us, protecting us as best they can.”
“If the Gods protect us,” Sam murmurs half asleep, her eyes closing. “Why didn’t they protect mom and me?” Her head falls to the side, and I maneuver her so her face is against my neck comfortably.
I clenched my jaw at her words and will the burning in my eyes to stop. I tighten my hold on her, wanting to take it all away from her and ease her pain. I hear her mom sniffle behind me, and I reach a hand up and link her fingers with mine, giving her a gentle squeeze in support
I feel, rather than see when Darius stilled at Sam’s words, and my eyes flick toward him as he looks at the girl in my arms. I watch as he looks toward the other pack members around us who have their gazes to the floor, feeling Sam’s pain just like I am, and probably feeling their own. Darius leans forward on his knees, hand clasped under his chin as he stares at the ground in thought. I’m sure he’s wondering what she meant, but I won’t be the one to tell their stories. If he wants to know, it has to come from them, and they don’t trust any of the Elites.
They may go around protecting the lands from creatures, but some here have asked for their help before and a blind eye was turned to their suffering. Why would they trust them now?
And as Kade comes over to me, picking Sam up so gently in his arms so that he doesn’t disturb her and rubbing his cheek against her head, I know they will never trust the Elites with their secrets. With their pain.
Not when some have been the cause of it.
