heart hurting over Kade’s sudden reaction and wondering what Solvier meant. Something is… off with the big wolf. His last words sounded somber and resigned. I don’t like that at all. What did he say to Kade, and why did he react that way? In fact, what did he say to Darius?
“What did Solvier say to you?” I ask him, both of us still looking in the direction Solvier left. I feel a twitch beneath my palm and realize I’m still grabbing onto his hand with mine. I drop my hand quickly and step away from him, making him release me.
He turns toward me, his brows low. “Nothing important,” he answers, looking me over curiously. “What was that language you used?”
I shake my head at the sudden question. “What?”
“You called the pup Carzan? What language is it?” His stare is intent on mine as he folds his arms over his chest, his eyes watching, waiting for something. I gulp.
I didn’t mean to use the language my family used, it just slipped out. When I don’t answer, he comes for me, and I stumble back, rough bark digging into my back when I hit a tree. What is it with me and trees lately? Darius doesn’t stop until he’s inches away, bringing his arms up on either side of my head, caging me in. Dropping his face so he’s directly in front of mine, he asks me again.
“What language?” he demands, and my fingers grip the bark behind me as I try to think of a way to get around this. The use of that language has always been sacred, pure. I don’t want him to taint it. He growls low when I don’t answer, and I growl right back, unable to stop the reaction, baring my teeth. His hand comes up to my neck, squeezing gently in warning, and I swallow roughly under his palm. He feels it beneath his hand, his fingers twitching lightly before moving a finger over my pulse, rubbing back and forth slowly, as if he’s savoring it under his touch.
“Why does it matter?” I whisper eventually, looking into his eyes and searching for those flecks of glass, needing to watch them float around in his eyes as they darken.
“I want to know. I haven’t heard it before, and I have heard many languages. The writing of your tattoo is old. Is that the language you speak?” I grit my teeth and move to look away from his penetrating stare. He doesn’t let me though, moving that hand from my throat to grip my jaw, leaving a trail of goosebumps in its wake. “You seem to think you have any say here. The least you can do is answer me after what you did in The Deadlands,” he growls low, his fingers digging into my jaw to keep my eyes on him. “Tell me.”
He releases more dominance, and it crashes into me at full force, drawing a whimper from me. It wraps around me, swirling around my legs, over my hips and eventually rests against my chest. The pressure builds, like a weight pressing into my skin. I know he won’t let up until I tell him, and I don’t think a lie, or a half truth is going to cut it.
“It’s my family language. It’s of the old Gods, or so I was taught,” I say begrudgingly, answering him this while the guilt of The Deadlands hits me. His reminder that I killed some of his trainees deepening the stain in my soul.
“Your mother and father spoke it?” At my nod, he continues. “I thought you didn’t have any family apart from the one you chose?”
”I had a family. They were stolen from me,“ I tell him. “Kade and Josh are my only family now. They have been for a long time.” They are the closest thing to me, the closest anyone will ever get, and even then I still don’t give them all of me.
The ugliness within me, the grime of black on my soul, of the things that I have done… They don’t need that. They don’t need that burden. And I don’t need to make them uncomfortable in trying to comfort me when no one can.
The burden is mine to bear, mine to shoulder. I keep those vines of thorns squeezing my heart all to myself as I feel their damage day in and day out.
“Is the pup yours?” Darius questions, and it brings me out of my own head to see those flecks of silver beginning to float from the edges of his irises.
My gaze follows those flecks, captivated by them as I answer. “He is mine in every way that counts. I did not birth him, but that does not make him any less mine.” I feel my pupils dilate, my protectiveness over Kade showing in my eyes. “You will not take him from me.” I don’t care what I have to do, he will not take him to the Highers.
We stare at each other, sharing the same air as it feels like the earth stills around us. I watch those flecks, and he watches the darkness that has undoubtedly creeped into my eyes before I manage to pull it back. He stares at me so deeply, so intensely with a look I can’t place. But I’m not scared. It feels like a caress on my soul. My forearm begins to tingle, the sensation causing my body to tremble before his eyes turn hard once again, a layer of indifference coating them as he blinks away whatever emotion was just there.
“I won’t take him from you,” he agrees, and my shoulders drop their tension. “But I will take you from him.” I jolt at his unexpected words, glaring at him. “You will be coming back to Fenrikar with me where you will be put on trial and then your punishment will be passed over to me.” He moves closer, our noses softly brushing against each other, and it’s such a contrast to his harsh words. “What the punishment will be has yet to be decided. I may be inclined to change the type of punishment you receive if you’re a good little wolf.”
Heat fills his eyes, and I suck in a breath at the sight, the space between my thighs warming. He moves his hand from my jaw, picking up a piece of my hair that’s fallen on my face before rubbing it between his fingers thoughtfully. He hums, watching his movements as he feels its softness, twirling it around one of his fingers.
“You don’t need to remind me about going to the Highers.” I swallow. “I already told you I accept that. But you can’t tell them about Eridian.”
Anger flashes through his eyes, the green losing their heat before he drops my hair and takes a step back. “Why should you and your pack have this safe haven all to yourself? Stop being a selfish bitch.”
I stand straighter at the insult, looking him dead in the eyes and giving him some truth. “All I have ever done is protect my pack, my family. Anyone knowing about this place is bad Darius. Really bad.” I bring a hand up and rub the back of my neck. “We… they… cannot be taken to the Highers, and the Highers cannot come here. Why can’t you understand that? Why can’t you see that?“ He’s not stupid.
“I’ve seen your pack scared, yet I’m not entirely sure why,” he grinds out in irritation. “I’ve been here for over a week, and I have gotten nothing out of you or them. If you want them to stay out of the Highers’ eye, you’ll need to give me a fucking good reason for it.”
“Darius,” I growl. “I will not tell you their stories, their lives. I will not betray their trust like that.” I shake my head and put my hands on my hips. “Read between the lines, asshole. You know damn well why some of them are scared. You heard what Sam said at the gathering the other night. I know you did. I’m the one who wronged you, so punish me and leave everyone else out of it.”
He moves so fast I don’t see his hand reaching for me until he has my hair in his grip and my head tilts backwards. “I will punish you, but on my own terms, little wolf. I have already told you that you have no say in it.”
He glares down at me, and I’ve had enough of his manhandling for one day. I nudge Runa, and my knee shoots up, aiming for his balls. He moves to the side to avoid it, my knee hitting his thigh instead, but I’m already swinging my fist forward toward his face. He releases my hair and moves back, but not without me catching his jaw as he does.
He straightens to his full height, all six foot four inches of it, rubbing his jaw slightly. I preen at hitting him, feeling accomplished that after him shoving me around, I got a hit in. I ready myself for him to come at me, and he doesn’t disappoint. I smack away the hand that tries to grab me and aim a kick at his shin. He takes the hit, grunting at the force of it, and grabs my arm. Leaning back slightly, he pulls me toward him forcefully and moves to the side to throw me forward with the momentum. He lets go of my arm, and I stumble over my steps before I right myself. Growling, I reach down for my small blade in my boot. Hearing him coming for me, I grab hold of the hilt and slash out as I spin around to face him. Metal on metal clashes as his blade halts mine, the hit vibrating up my arm. I growl at him and kick out, aiming for his stomach as he chuckles coldly, deflecting me easily. I move backwards, holding my blade so it runs down my forearm while he twirls a similar sized black blade in his hand, tilting his head at me.
“If you wanted to play, little wolf, all you had to do was ask.” He licks his lips, and his smirk is downright wicked before he lunges.
His blade comes at me, aiming to slice at my neck and I bring my forearm up, stopping his blade with my own. I jump up and pull my left fist back, aiming for a hit to his temple with our blades still connected. He moves his head back, avoiding it as I snarl in anger. He grips my left wrist with his free hand and brings it down between us as I land back on my feet. I slide my blade down his before he takes my legs out from under me and lets go of my wrist. I fall hard to the ground, a grunt quickly turning into a snarl when he follows me down and straddles me.
“We have been here before, haven’t we?” he murmurs down at me. “It didn’t end well for you then either.” He drops his blade to the side and grabs my forearm, pinning it to the dirt beside my head so I can’t use my blade, and then he does the same with the other.
“How do you know this won’t end well for me this time?” I pant and twist beneath him, trying to dislodge the big fucker.
“Because if you don’t stop wriggling, you will have another problem to deal with,” he says in a low, gravelly voice.
“Fuck you.” I squirm more against him, and he shifts down slightly, giving me more of his weight. I push my hips up, aiming to buck him off, when I find the problem he mentioned.
My eyes fly to his, widening when I feel his hardness between us. He raises an eyebrow at me, smirking, then he moves his knees between my legs and pushes them until he’s resting between my thighs. His cock presses against my center and a ragged gasp leaves me. He runs his hands up my forearms, sending delicious shivers through me until he reaches my wrists and moves them to one big hand.
“What are you doing?” I whisper, and he just stares down at me, confliction in his eyes.
He moves his hips forward, and a moan escapes me before I can stop it. His eyes light up at the sound and any doubt he had vanishes as he does it again, but I’m ready this time and only expel a heavy breath. He growls low and heat fills me at the sound, but I make no outward reaction.
He lowers his face to my neck, and I hear him taking in a deep breath before nipping my skin lightly. He leaves open mouthed kisses against my skin, his nose trailing up and down before his body tenses. “You’re going into heat.” He takes another deep breath, a rumbling sound coming from him as he rubs into the side of my neck. “You smell like you want to be fucked.” He rocks into me again, and I whimper.
“You’re wrong.” I tell him breathlessly as he continues pressing into me at a leisurely pace. “My heat isn’t for another few months.” I can’t be going into heat, I would know. I only have one heat a year, and it’s during the winter months.
He chuckles deep and low into my neck as his free hand trails down the side of my body. His fingers caress over my shoulder, following down the side of my breast before stopping just above the waistline of my shorts. I hold my breath at his touch, feeling his wolf come to the surface. He moves his hand underneath the bottom of my t-shirt and circles my belly button with a light touch, the feel of his skin against mine making my head spin. I feel delirious. A tiny moan escapes me and I arch my back, wanting more, craving more. My body feels itchy and sweat beads at the back of my neck as heat fills in my stomach. Wetness soaks through my panties, and I whimper, knowing what these sudden signs are. What they mean. I shake my head in denial.
“I can’t be,” I growl, pissed and achy all at the same time. “It’s not time yet.”
“Your smell tells me differently,” he murmurs, moving his fingers down from my belly button to caressing just inside my waistband. I shift beneath him. “And you smell delicious,” he mumbles against my skin, licking at my neck.
He pulls his face out of the crook of my shoulder and looks down at me, desire filling his eyes as his fingers tease the edge of my panties. I close my eyes and will myself to calm down, to ignore the sensations those fingers are creating and the closeness of his body to mine.
This isn’t happening. No matter how much my body is begging me differently. I won’t give in just for him to throw it in my face later. He already lashed out at my heart when we lost control against the tree. Why are we like this again?
I can’t be.
I open my eyes and I feel Runa there, pinning him with our stare. “Get the fuck off me, Darius.” He smirks, his fingers skimming under the edge of my panties before he removes them all together. Releasing my wrists, he gets to his feet in one fluid motion.
I sit up, breathing through my mouth to ignore his scent as he steps beside me and stops. He crouches down and grabs his blade, twirling it in his hand before I feel his breath in my ear. “I look forward to making you beg me sooner or later, little wolf.” He nips at my earlobe, and my body trembles, my hands clenching at my sides to stop myself from reaching out to him to help with this need he just created. The only one who ever has.
I wait until he’s out of hearing distance before I release a growl of frustration, my fingers digging into the dirt. My body aches from Darius’ attention. How the fuck am I going into heat five months early? And why am I acting this way around him? Why him?
“I’m going crazy,” I mutter to myself. “Fucking crazy. This isn’t normal.”
I stand, dusting my hands off and head off to do a perimeter check, my body cooling down the more I walk. That’s what’s important right now, not the thought of a male grinding on me. One particular male. I huff and swing my arms as I walk, shaking them out when a blur of black catches my eyes to my left.
I swing my head that way, the bushes there swaying with too much force for it to be the light breeze, and I swear I caught the back of someone’s dark head moving further along. I let my senses go wide, but there is nothing out of the normal. I wonder if it’s one of the Elites, shit, did they see us?
“Where did you place the Elites?” I ask Josh quickly.
He takes a second to answer me. “I took them south. Why?”
“I’m east at the moment. What are the chances of an Elite being out this way?” I creep forward with silent footsteps as I head in the direction of those bushes, keeping my eyes peeled.
“Small. They could just be exploring. A few others have done that.”
“Yeah, I guess.” I reach the bushes and inhale deeply, scenting nothing but the greenery and berries around me. I look ahead of me through the trees and spot nothing out of the ordinary. I don’t sense anything. It was probably just an animal.
Shaking my head, I retrace my steps and continue on to the base of the cliffs to start my check. No signs of rogures still, which is a plus, but since Kade killed the few he saw a while back, I’m still cautious and have been checking the perimeter regularly on my own. Even when it’s already been done. The guys usually shake their heads at me when I do, but they know how I can be sometimes.
I pull a tree branch out of the way and my tattoos catch my attention in the light. Looking down at my forearm where it tingled before, I run my fingers across the swirls and lines. Bringing my fingers to the free space in the center, I circle around the clear skin and sigh. I think it’s time to let go of that tiny little bit of hope I have in the back of my mind of it ever being filled.
Part of me never wants it to be whole, but I would be lying to myself if I said the other part of me didn’t want it to be. I’m a wolf, and wolves want certain things.
And even as I look in the direction where Darius went and lie to myself that it’s all down to Runa thinking this way, the human in me wonders if it’s possible.
