“Good morning, Eliana. How was your weekend?”
Irritation at the unexpected sight of Adira sitting in the dining room robbed me of the last bit of my patience.
“Suitably filled with adult harassment regarding my life choices. How was yours?”
She sighed, her disappointment in my answer plain in her expression.
“I am not harassing you, Eliana. I’m ensuring you continue your progress toward becoming a healthy, self-sufficient adult.”
“Have you even looked up the definition of harassment?”
“You seem to be in a mood today.” She arched a single brow at me.
“Like I said, I had a trying weekend.”
“Is that why you weren’t at the Roost last night?”
My impatience with the conversation grew.
“The point of me going to the Roost is to practice my hunting skills, isn’t it? I went to the pack territory instead.”
“I want you at the Roost every night. You can feed there.”
“If there’s one thing you’ve taught me, Adira, it’s that we can’t always have what we want.”
“You’re being very difficult this morning.”
“Because I won’t feed where you can monitor me like I’m part of some wildlife documentary?”
A flicker of surprise flashed in her gaze, and I knew my statement had struck close to the truth, which only provoked my intolerance of her.
“I’ll see you at the Academy,” I said on my way to the kitchen door. I paused just before leaving the dining room and looked back at her. “Oh, wait, that’s right. You’re discreet about your obsessive monitoring and use your network of observers to keep you updated. I guess I won’t be seeing you then.”
I marched through the empty kitchen and got into my car. It wasn’t until I was almost to the Academy that I realized my stupidity in challenging Adira like that on the morning I was supposed to hand over a shovel to the druids.
Mentally cringing, I pulled into the nearly empty parking lot and hurried inside with the shovel in hand. The few mermaids in the pool gave me odd looks before remembering to hiss at me and dive under the water.
Anne looked up from her place near the sink when I entered and gave the shovel a curious look.
“It’s the only personal item I could get,” I said.
“That’s not very personal.” Doubt coated Lauv’s expression as well as her words.
“I know it’s not. The windows are spelled against anything non-human, though. I’m lucky I got this.”
“Whatever,” Meg said. “Let’s just try it.”
I handed over the shovel and stood back. They sat in a circle while holding it, did some mumble-mumble chanting, mixed some twigs and powders together, then lit them on fire. I watched as they stared at the bowl of water. And…
Nothing.
Lauv spoke after several long minutes.
“We know this spell works. We tested it on Anne’s brother. On you. On Fenris. On the human boy. Each time, we saw your locations clearly in the water. Something has to be blocking Ashlyn. Something big.”
“We thought a personal item would help the spell focus,” Anne added.
“We’re going to need to boost this spell’s power to overcome whatever is blocking her.” Meg shook her head, looking annoyed. “It’s going to take more time.”
I considered the three of them and what they were telling me. What could possibly be blocking Ashlyn? There were some powerful creatures in Uttira. But powerful enough to trick a location spell? I had no idea. I wasn’t that knowledgeable in spells like these girls were.
There was another option. One that I’d been refusing to consider.
“What about Ashlyn’s death? Could that be why you’re not finding her?” I asked, feeling sick for even saying it.
“We thought that, too, which is why we tried summoning her ghost yesterday after the first location spell failed. The summoning spell is one we’ve used since we were little. A safe way to communicate with the dead. They can’t refuse. But she didn’t answer, so we believe she’s still alive.”
“Okay. What is it going to take to strengthen your spell?”
“Nothing you can help with,” Anne said. “We’ll gather what’s needed and try again. If you find anything more personal, we’ll take that too. It can’t hurt.”
“Meanwhile,” Lauv said. “We’ll continue to do the summoning spell daily, just in case. Be here earlier tomorrow for your spell. It’s going to take some time.”
I straightened away from the sink I was leaning against.
“If you can remove my tracking spell and make it so I can’t be tracked again, could someone else have done the same to Ashlyn?”
“We considered that. It’s possible, but it takes some pretty serious spellwork. The likelihood of her finding a druid with that kind of knowledge, who’d be willing to do it for next to nothing like we are, is slim.”
It made sense. The humans in Uttira didn’t have much money because everything they needed was provided. That meant Ashlyn would have no means to pay a druid. But it was still a possibility and gave me a little hope and peace of mind. If Ashlyn wasn’t in Uttira and was smart enough to get a druid’s help to hide, then she’d won her freedom.
In order to be okay with her absence, though, I needed to be sure.
“I guess I’ll see you tomorrow then.” I accepted the shovel back and headed for the door.
“Wait. There’s one more thing.”
When I turned to look back at Meg, she blew some kind of glittery dust in my face that smelled like fish. My vision changed instantly, my anger at the idea they thought to memory wipe me barely contained.
“Explain yourself.”
“It’s only a discovery spell that will help us determine who knows about Ashlyn coming into this bathroom. We need it to wipe their memories of us. That way, if things go sideways, you’ll be the only one to blame for her disappearance.”
Her eyes went wide as mine narrowed.
“What the hell, Meg,” Anne said at the same time that Lauv smacked Meg.
“You will wipe their memories of all of us, myself included,” I said, my gaze sweeping the three. “Or are you stupid enough to believe that I’d keep my mouth shut if the Council started questioning me?” I paused for a moment. “And I suggest you stop considering wiping my mind, too. The Council has a method to undo mind wipes if there’s a need. It’s not pretty for the person involved, but it’s survivable. The Council will get their information, regardless.” My look hardened. “Be discreet and be smart. Find Ashlyn.”
I left the druids in the bathroom, and when the mermaids and sirens in the pool hissed at me, I hissed back. They didn’t dive under the water, though. Instead, they hefted themselves out of the pool. I paused, watching their tails fade and legs appear.
“You’re safer in water,” I said.
One of them twitched in place and hissed at me again. My grip tightened on the shovel.
“Use your words. I don’t understand water snake.”
More emerged from the pool.
“I think that’s enough of that,” Lauv said from behind me. “Eliana has no quarrel with you. Do you, Eliana?”
I glanced back at the girls standing behind me. Lauv watched the mermaids, but the other two had their eyes on the glowing crystals in their hands.
“I have no reason for a quarrel with anyone,” I said, annoyed.
“Good.”
As soon as Lauv spoke, the light coming from the crystals died, and the mermaids jumped back into the water.
“Everything’s fine now,” she said. “Let us know if anyone else has a problem with you.”
The three left, and I trailed behind, wondering what exactly the dust in my face had done and when the smell of fish was going to clear from my nose. Breathing in the fresh air while I returned the shovel to my trunk didn’t help either. With my luck, I would be breathing in fish for the rest of the day.
Once again distracted by all the bullpoopy in my headspace, I wasn’t paying attention when I reentered the school. So, I was unprepared when I neared the pools again and someone grabbed me by the front of my shirt and pushed me against the wall.
Eras’s angry dark gaze pinned mine.
“I saw you walk out with the druids. I know it was you.”
He looked to the left of us.
“Bring him,” he growled.
A few of Eras’s lackeys towed a struggling Eugene forward.
“Feed on him,” Eras demanded, giving me a shake. “Feed or I will, and I’ll make sure I take so much that Eugene will spend the rest of his life on his knees for me.”
“Wait, what?” Eugene said. “He’s going to turn me gay?”
“It’s not a matter of sexuality, Eugene,” I assured him. “It’s a matter of complete devotion. You won’t see gender when you look at Eras. All you’ll see is the one living creature you will do anything for to make him happy.”
“Uh, yeah, that sounds like he’s going to turn me gay.” Eugene looked at Eras. “I mean, it wouldn’t be so bad if he looked more like Oanen or Fenris. Can I pick a different future gay master?”
His snarky humor enraged Eras, who gripped my shirt tighter. I heard a few seams break under the strain and glared at Eras.
“Look at me, Eras. Do I look well-fed? I’m the Academy joke for a succubus. How could a joke possibly steal a meal from you, someone who’s been hunting since before I arrived? Unless you’re saying that you’re worse at feeding than I am.”
His face flushed scarlet as his friends laughed.
“The first skill we learn is to hide our true natures from our prey. I think, living out in the human world, you’re better at that than any of us will ever hope to be. You want me to believe it wasn’t you that night? Prove it. Take a hit off of Eugene. I’ll even prime him for you so you don’t have to work so hard. I mean, stealing a meal is what you’re good at.”
“There’s just one problem with your logic,” I said with forced calm. “You claimed that someone wiped your memory of the feeding. Even if I fed from Eugene, you’d have no idea if it was me. In order to pursue this, you’d need to get your memory back first, and I hear that’s messy business. Unless your memory wasn’t really wiped, and all these accusations are just to stir up a little trouble. But then, I’d have to ask myself, why would you do that? Unless you’re trying to get Megan home sooner like the mermaids.”
Doubt flickered in Eras’s eyes.
“You don’t want that, do you? There’s something else that you’re trying to hide. Something that would get you into trouble if anyone found out. Something that Megan sensed that night in the bar.”
Eras confirmed that the straws I was grasping at actually had substance when he immediately released me and stepped back.
“This isn’t over. I’m going to regain my memories and prove it was you. Then you’ll never get your mark and be stuck in this place until you slowly starve to death. Enjoy that picture of your future, succubitch. I’m watching you.”
He shoulder-checked me as he walked away, and I stared after him and his goons. His reaction had confirmed he was far from innocent, and I couldn’t wait for Megan to come home.
“Thanks, Eliana,” Eugene said. “I was a little nervous when they grabbed me.”
“You should still be nervous. Feeding is allowed in school since Adira and the Council don’t consider feeding on a human’s sexual energy harmful to the human. But it is. Trust me on that.”
“Okay. Can I ask why he wanted you to feed from me? I mean, didn’t you already do that in the pool?”
I shook my head.
“I almost fed on you. Remember what Eras said about priming you? Well, you were primed then. Try not to think about that, though. You don’t want any of those old feelings to resurface.
“As for why he wanted me to feed…well, he thinks another incubus or succubus stole a meal from him. Each of us has a unique energy signature when we feed. He would have sensed it at the time his meal was stolen. That’s why he’s trying to get others to feed while he’s around. And that’s never going to happen with me.”
“Why?”
I smiled sadly at Eugene.
“Because what I said is true. I’m the Academy joke. The starving succubus. I don’t feed. At least, not anymore.”
“Isn’t that dangerous?”
I shrugged.
“That’s what all the adults in my life are saying. But I feel fine, so who’s to say?”
“Well, that’s an interesting admission,” Adira said, stepping out of the pool door. “Would you like to repeat that to your mother, or shall I?”
“Do whatever you want, Adira. You will regardless.”
She canted her head and studied me for a moment.
“This new attitude doesn’t suit you.”
“I think it suits me just fine.”
“I wonder what your father would think. Perhaps it’s time he and I had a long conversation.”
I actually laughed.
“You do that. Maybe then you’ll finally understand that what a succubus can do isn’t a harmless consumption of energy. It’s so much more.” I took a step closer to her. “But be careful when you speak to him, Adira. A human under a succubus’s thrall can turn dangerous if they feel you’re threatening their keeper or trying to take them away.”
“Thank you for the warning. Are you sure you wouldn’t rather feed on Eugene and stop what will come with this defiance you’re clinging to? After all, that’s why he’s here. I handpicked him based on the preferences I’d noticed you have. Tall. Lean build. Appealing face. Dark hair and a sense of humor. He seemed to check all of your boxes. There’s no reason to deny yourself a meal you would truly enjoy.”
“I’m sure. Go have fun tattling. I have a class to get to.”
I turned my back on Adira and grabbed Eugene’s arm, hauling him away with me.
“Um, if I was handpicked for you, does that mean the Council is going to dump me back in an alley if you don’t feed from me?”
“No. It doesn’t. Megan made a promise to you and to them. She’ll raise hell if the Council breaks its word.” I stopped outside my first classroom and wrinkled my nose at Eugene when he immediately met my gaze. “Gods, I wish Ashlyn were here. Stop making eye contact. And if Eras and his friends come after you again, start screaming for Adira. Or better yet, start shouting Megan’s name. Never forget that everyone here will use you to get what they want without a second thought.”
His gaze immediately dropped to the floor.
“Got it. It’s just been, you know, a weird morning.”
“You have no idea.”
As soon as we parted ways, I sent a quick text to Mom.
Me: Adira is being particularly persistent about public feedings. She said I’m being uncooperative, which I am, and is going to call you. She also tried to use not so subtle threats against Dad to get me to do what she wants.
Mom: That devil needs to die once and for all.
Me: They’ll kick you out for murder, and you’re the only person in my life who’s actually making an attempt to understand me.
Mom: Baby, I’m incredibly sorry about yesterday. There was so much I didn’t understand, but I think I’m beginning to. Thank you for coming to me with this problem even though I let you down yesterday. I swear, I’m trying to be the best mother possible for you.
My chest tightened, and tears threatened to spill over.
Me: I know. I love you, Mom.
Guilt clawed at me as I took my usual seat.
While I waited for the room to fill, I sent another quick message.
Me: Adira is playing more games. Eugene is worried he’s going to end up in an alley again because he overheard her say she handpicked him for me (long story). Can you maybe put a gentle word in Adira’s ear, reminding her that the humans have rights? Also, I haven’t seen any progress on the library Eras was supposed to help build.
Megan: I’ll call her, but I don’t do gentle. You sure you don’t want me to shake her tree in person?
Me: Not yet. Soon.
I pocketed my phone and sat back to watch the doorway. Like last week, Fenris joined the class and took the seat beside mine.
“Did you have a good night?” he asked.
“Not really.”
He did a double-take at me.
“No good dreams? No amazingly flavorful cakes you can’t get enough of?”
“The dreams were fine until Piepen showed up with his usual brownie lust and drama. Then, Adira popped in for a morning threat before I left for school. Not to be outdone in annoyingness by Piepen, she made an encore appearance in the hallway just now.” I looked up at Lucas, who was pretending to read whatever was on his tablet. “Let me know if you need me to write that down so you can give Adira an exact quote.”
The few other students who’d already entered laughed at my remark.
“I’m sure I’ll be able to remember, but thank you, Eliana,” Lucas said calmly.
I turned back to Fenris and arched a brow. “See? She’s everywhere, and like a bad rash, she refuses to leave.”
He considered me for a minute.
“Are you learning anything from any of these classes?”
“Math, maybe. Other than that, not really.”
“Then why are you here?”
“This is Uttira, and there’s nowhere else to go.”
“You have so much to learn. Come on, honey badger. It’s time for a lesson.”
With a cocky smirk, he stood up and winked at Lucas before strolling out of the room. I didn’t even need to think twice. Given my current mood, there was no way I wanted to sit through a lecture about humans.
I bolted after Fenris.
“Go get ‘em, girl,” Belemina called after me.
Fenris wasn’t waiting in the hallway but striding down its length at a purposeful pace. I had to jog to catch up.
“Why am I a honey badger?” I asked.
“Because you were about two seconds from ripping someone’s face off.”
“Wrong species. I’m not that violent.”
He gave me a long, doubtful look before turning the corner.
“I’d beg to differ. Any woman is capable of severe maiming given the right circumstance. Hangry is at the top of the circumstance list.”
He stopped at a door and swung it open for me. The red room was just the way we’d left it.
“I’m not hangry,” I said, stepping inside. “And if you honestly thought I was, why would you bring me here. This would be the most dangerous place for you.”
“Honey badger or not, you don’t scare me.” He closed the door behind us and went to lounge on a pillow.
“I’m not a honey badger.”
“Don’t worry. We’ll keep trying.”
“To what? Provoke me into hurting someone? You’ll be waiting a long time.”
He smirked.
“No, to find the perfect pet name for me to call you. You can start thinking of a few options for me if you want.”
I rolled my eyes at him.
“I doubt you’d like any of the current options.”
He held a hand over his heart as if I’d hurt him, then patted the pillow across from him.
“Tell the Love Doctor about Piepen’s latest woes.”
“You’re a love doctor?”
“Certified. Got it in the mail.”
Shaking my head at Fenris’s playfulness, I sat down with a sigh.
“He said he was there for advice. Again. But he was touching himself while lying next to me.”
“He got more in your mouth, didn’t he?”
“No. Thank the gods, no. I was a lot faster to get away once I knew what was happening. He always interrupts the really good dreams.”
Fenris rubbed his hands together and leaned forward. “Let’s talk about those.”
My cheeks warmed, and I played with the edge of the pillow so I wouldn’t need to look at him when I admitted the truth.
“I think everyone’s right. I have an eating disorder. Why else would I keep dreaming of cakes?” My cheeks heated further. “Why else would they taste better than anything I’ve ever eaten in real life?”
Fenris’s silence prodded my curiosity enough to peek at him.
“Admitting something like that to yourself is big,” he said, seriously. “Admitting it to someone else is even bigger. I’m honored that you were comfortable enough to trust me.”
“Unconditional trust, right?” I said softly.
He opened his arms wide, and I didn’t hesitate to switch seats, eager to absorb the comfort his hugs provided. He tucked me into his lap and cocooned me in his embrace. The steady beat of his heart under my ear soothed some of my unpleasant mood.
“My mom said that my hunger was a truth I needed to acknowledge so I can address it. As if that deep, ravaging need can be ignored.” I snorted. “What she doesn’t understand is that I had been addressing it. On my terms. The feedings hadn’t been ideal, but they’d been something. I just don’t want to hurt anyone.”
He shifted a little to rest his chin on top of my head.
“I know you don’t want to hurt anyone. That’s why I pointed out that the dryads were fine after you danced. You haven’t experimented enough to know what you can do because you’re afraid of making mistakes that might hurt someone. But, meanwhile, you’re hurting yourself.”
I pulled back to frown at him.
“Are you suggesting I start feeding on different species to see which can tolerate me best?”
“No. You already know what types of creatures you can safely feed on.”
I wrinkled my nose. “I don’t think I can go back to feeding on frost giants. I’m having a hard time forgiving Mrs. Quill for siding with Adira.”
“I’m not talking about frost giants.”
I swallowed hard in understanding.
“Bonded pairs.”
He nodded at the same time I shook my head.
“No. I hate that.”
Ducking my head against his chest, I hid from the truth.
“You know Megan and Oanen would willingly feed you.”
“Remember how I said I wasn’t the violent type? Keep talking about feeding on them, and I might have to prove myself wrong.”
He chuckled, the sound doing funny things to my insides, and ran his hand down my back.
“Werewolves are all about bonded pairs, too. You could try feeding from me. It’d make Adira’s day, and you can’t hurt me.”
“We already talked about this. No. I’m not taking that chance. You’re not bonded yet. And even if you were, I wouldn’t want to mess with your relationship like that. I’ll find another way.”
“You won’t,” a voice said from behind Fenris.
I lifted my head to look at Adira. The urge to hiss at her like I did the mermaids was strong.
“I’d hoped that I would find you using this room as it was designed.”
“How did your conversation go with my mom?” I asked sweetly.
“Perhaps you should ask her yourself.” Before I knew what she intended, Adira reached out and set her hand on me.
With a gut-wrenching twist, I landed on a sawdust strewn floor. The pulsing beat of punk music assailed my ears as I struggled to my feet without getting sick. My vision swam, and I wished I’d stayed on the ground. Inhaling through my nose to settle my stomach proved a mistake, though. Lust, thick and mouthwatering, clogged the air.
My sight cleared with laser precision, and I took in the changes the inside of Mom’s club had undergone in the forty-eight hours since my first visit. The walls had been insulated and drywall hung. New lights illuminated the work area and the workers as they laid hardwood flooring.
Naked.
Mom stood behind them, wearing her favorite dominatrix costume and holding a whip, which she used.
Her mouth moved, but I couldn’t hear her. Whatever she said had the man in front of her working faster while intermittently grabbing himself. An act that earned his backside another lashing.
It was like watching Piepen try not to touch himself. Yet, the scent of the combined lust of the men on their knees was far from the offensive stench of Piepen’s lust.
Hunger clawed at me.
I closed my eyes and yelled as loud as I could to be heard over the pulsing beat of music.
“Mom!”
The music immediately stopped, and I wanted to beg for her to turn it back on so I wouldn’t hear the panting moans.
“Baby, what are you doing here? I thought you were at school. Did Adira do something?”
“Yes, she did something. I was with Fenris, and she portaled me here.”
A soft, cool hand brushed over my cheek.
“Why are your eyes closed?”
I opened them to glare at my mom. Her worried expression turned to surprise.
“Because I will not be forced. No matter what she does or who she threatens, I will feed my way on my terms.”
“Of course.” She gave my cheek another gentle stroke. “She sent me a message a bit ago, saying that you lied about feeding on the dryads. I didn’t tell her that, so what happened at school.”
“She overheard me talking to Eugene and tried to blackmail me into feeding on him, which is why I texted you. Just now, she overheard me talking to Fenris about what you said about not eating and needing to acknowledge it. She didn’t like hearing me say that I was going to figure out my own way to feed and zapped me here. Do you see the theme? Adira needs to butt out of my life.”
“I do like that wolf boy. Adira is another issue entirely. You made a valid point this morning that I can’t outright kill her or you’d be alone to deal with her crap.”
I smiled at Mom’s use of crap. She believed in swearing but knew I didn’t like it and refrained around me when she remembered. That she remembered now meant she really was focused on me, despite the noise still emerging from the workers.
“I’ll need to find another way to deal with her that doesn’t involve permanent death.”
While she contemplated that, I grabbed for my buzzing phone.
Fenris: Where did she take you?
Me: I’m at Mom’s club.
Fenris: Need a ride back?
Me: Yes, please.
“You don’t need to go back,” Mom said, having seen the messages. “You can stay here and ignore Adira.”
“Staying here is exactly what she wants. And I’m not going to give her what she wants. Oh, and, Mom? If Adira suddenly loses track of me, don’t worry, okay?”
Mom smiled, her eyes darkening.
“Show her who you really are.”
“I will.”
