Fenris smelled different. I hadn’t exactly been paying attention to his scent when Adira had grabbed me, but I felt fairly confident it’d been his usual sweet, lusty fragrance. Now, in the closed confines of his car, I could still smell the underlying sweetness, but there was a tartness strong enough to overpower it. I struggled to put my finger on what the tartness reminded me of. Citrus or some kind of fruit.
I thought of the tiered lemon cakes from my dream and felt my hunger rise. Belatedly, I realized I was comparing Fenris to my cakes and hurried to distract myself with conversation.
“Thanks for picking me up. Mom could have called Dad, but I really didn’t want to explain how I’d gotten there or why Mom wasn’t ready to go home yet.”
“Any time. Are you sure you want to go back to the Academy? Adira might just portal you, again.”
“If she wants to do that, she’ll do it no matter where I am, thanks to the dumb tracker spell. The druids are removing it tomorrow, though.” I glanced at him. “If the offer to use your cabin is still open, I think I might need it soon.”
“It’s open for you at any time. But why do you think you’ll need it? Is there something else going on that you haven’t told me?”
“No. I’m just so tired of everyone trying to manipulate my life in the direction they think it should go. Right now, there’s nowhere for me to escape, not even the caves, until Adira’s spell is gone.”
“I miss the caves,” Fenris said wistfully. “Let’s make plans to go there soon. Just the two of us so you don’t have to worry about anything.”
“I’d like that.”
“So, do you want to tell me why Adira portaled you to your mom’s club or why you asked if she had a nice conversation with your mom?”
I glanced at him for a puzzled moment. Then, I recalled what I’d said to him before Adira had interrupted us.
“Adira was waiting for me in the dining room this morning. She was upset that I wasn’t at the Roost last night. Then, in the halls before class, she overheard me telling Eugene I hadn’t been feeding, and she threatened to tell my mom. I told her to go ahead, which she didn’t appreciate. I guess hearing me tell you that I’d find another way pushed her over the top.”
“Seems so.”
As soon as he pulled through the Academy gates, Fenris pointed at the building’s roof.
“Oh, look, there’s the meddling frost giant now. Keep your phone on you in case you need another ride.”
His warning wasn’t necessary, though. We spent the next several hours in the red room, playing board games Fenris had stolen from the Human Studies supply closet. I knew it was getting close to lunch when his stomach kept growling. However, Fenris seemed in no hurry to acknowledge his hunger. That was something I could understand much better than all of his attempts to get me to make bets on our games.
“Pay up,” he said, holding out his hand. “That’s three hundred and forty dollars.”
“You know I don’t have that much.”
His grin widened, and he considered my meager stack of fake money.
“Then, how do you propose to pay me?”
“I don’t. You win. Let’s pick another game.”
He chuckled. The sound, which I’d heard repeatedly throughout the morning, let me know he was up to no good.
“You give up too easily. What if I took something else as payment?”
Just like the last time he’d made a similar offer, my heart started to race, and my hunger clawed its way to the surface. His grin widened when he saw my eyes flickering, and I narrowed my gaze at him.
“For being a predator, you sure aren’t smart about who to pick as prey.”
He leaned back on his pillow, his pose completely relaxed.
“I don’t know. You might be a honey-badger to other people, but you’re still a chipmunk for me.”
I wasn’t about to fall for his goading again.
“I’m not making any bets with you, Fenris. You get enough hugs from me the way it is.”
“Pfft. A wolf can never get too much affection, but I wasn’t going to ask for a hug.”
I studied him for a moment, knowing I shouldn’t ask, that it was all part of his trap. But he’d worn me down since we’d sequestered ourselves in the red room.
“Fine. What do you want?”
“You carry me through the halls, and I’ll wipe the debt clean and pay you another $340.”
“Why?”
“Why what?”
“Why do you want to be carried, you weirdo?”
He leaned forward, getting serious.
“We’ve been sitting in here for hours, doing nothing. Aren’t you itching to stretch your legs? To do something? To run a little wild?”
“Uh…no.”
“Well, I am.”
“How is me, carrying you, going to stretch your legs?” I asked, giving him a droll look.
He grinned widely.
“Because you’ll be between them.”
After a morning of his teasing, I didn’t react with a black, hungry gaze as I normally would have. Instead, I only rolled my eyes at him.
“You want a piggyback ride?”
“Yep.”
“I’m still waiting for a believable reason why.”
“I want to know how strong you are. Everyone doubts you. They think you’re weak and underfed. You even admitted to me that you’re not eating enough. Don’t you want to know if it’s affecting you?”
I thought of the cooler I’d carried into the house almost two weeks ago. It had been heavy but nothing I couldn’t handle. But, I’d still been feeding from Mrs. Quill then. And, hadn’t I gotten winded several times when I’d tried to keep up with Jenna in the woods?
“I know you’re thinking about it,” he said, watching me. “Let’s see what you can do.”
He threw down his cards and got to his feet.
“Now?”
“Yep.”
Uncertainty filled me. First, I couldn’t believe he actually wanted me to carry him around the Academy halls where anyone could be a witness. Second, even if he didn’t find it embarrassing, I would.
“No, not your chipmunk impression,” he said, observing me far too closely. “Think Clydesdale.”
Slowly, I got to my feet.
“Why do you want to humiliate me?”
“What part is humiliating? Having fun with me or doing something that will shock faculty?”
“The part where I’m your beast of burden.” Never mind the part where I might not be strong enough to carry him at all.
Some of the humor faded from his expression.
“I wasn’t humiliated to carry you on my back. Or is the problem that I’ll have my legs wrapped around you this time?” His smile returned full force as my eyes flickered black. “Yes. Just like that. That’s how you need to look when we go out there. No one will know what’s going on if they see us.”
“Good. Then we’ll all be on equal ground. What exactly is my being able to carry you going to prove?”
“To you? That you’re stronger than you give yourself credit for. To anyone else? Who cares. It’s what you think about yourself that really matters.”
I took a deep breath as I suddenly understood what this was all about. Fenris was trying to help me again. When did his version of helping ever go right, though? Did it matter? My life couldn’t go any more wrong. Maybe I did need to be like Fenris and just have a little more fun in general.
I turned my back to him and patted my butt.
“Hop on, Fenris. Let’s see where this round of trouble leads.”
“That’s the spirit.”
There was a shuffle of movement behind me, then I felt Fenris touch my shoulder.
“What are the chances of you falling over as soon as I jump on?”
“Eighty/twenty. What happened to your faith in my strength?”
“I have faith. I was just checking to see where your faith was at. Eighty/twenty aren’t good odds. Ready?”
“No.”
He snorted then jumped onto my back.
He weighed far more than a cooler of food, and I almost buckled under his solid frame. Instead, I stumbled a step and hooked my arms around his legs. I could feel his muscles twitch under my hold. My stomach gave an excited flip.
“Steady, girl,” he said, running his hand over my arms before gathering my hair into a loose pony hold. “Giddy up.”
“You’re lucky you didn’t use your heels with that command or I would have dropped you on the floor.”
He chuckled and reached around me to open the door. With his chest pressed against the side of my head, I couldn’t help but inhale his rich scent and think of the bag of chocolate I hadn’t yet touched at home. My hunger stirred lazily.
“To the end of the hall and back,” he declared, taking up my hair again. He didn’t flick it like a kid holding reins. Instead, he played with the strands like he was petting them. Every follicle went supernova sensitive.
“Cut it out.” I strode out into the hall, determined to get this stupid bet over with.
“Why the long face? Aren’t you ready to start horsin’ around?”
I groaned, which he took as encouragement to continue.
“No? Is it because you’ll be the mane attraction?
“Stop your bad puns while you’re ahead.”
“Okay. I’m Dun. Or are you Dun?”
“I’m about to drop you.”
“Oh, come on. You have more horsepower in you than that.”
I reached the end of the hall. My arms ached a little but nothing crazy. I mean, he was heavy. What I found unusual was how tired I felt. Turning around, I started back toward the red room.
“Your steps are slowing. Giddy up, pony. It’s almost time for lunch.”
His scent hit me hard as soon as he said it. I inhaled deeply, pulling in his rich sweetness as I thought of last night’s cake dream. Would Fenris taste as mouthwatering as the cakes? Was his scent why I had those sweet, cake dreams to begin with?
My stomach growled just as we reached the door, and I released my hold.
His fingers slipped through my hair as he swept it to the side. I shivered at the feel of his breath and tried to step away from him. His hands caught my waist and held me in place. He leaned in and inhaled softly.
“You smell different.”
I shivered again at the sound of his voice close to my ear.
“Are you tired?”
“No, Fenris. I’m hungry. And you’re not helping right now. Please, let go.”
Was it my imagination that his hold tightened ever so briefly before he released me? I hoped so because he was already far too bold for my fragile control to withstand much more of his teasing.
He remained quiet until we were in the room with the door closed. I paced to the pillows and sat while internally reeling my hunger in.
Fenris strolled closer, his hands loosely in his jean pockets as he studied me.
“I know offering to get you something from the lunchroom won’t help. Any chance you’ll take me up on my previous offer?”
“Huh?” It wasn’t very articulate, but I wasn’t fully focused.
“Feed on me, Eliana. Please.”
My mouth watered at the thought, and I shook my head.
“You know I can’t.”
He sighed and sat.
“I know why you think you can’t, but haven’t we already poked enough holes in those fears? Your manipulation doesn’t work on me, which means you won’t turn me into a mindless slave. My scent is appealing, I think. Or overpowering. You weren’t clear on that, so I’m going with the former to protect my ego.”
I snorted. “Like your ego needs protection.”
“And Adira and your mom haven’t pushed anyone else at you like you thought they would.”
“It’s only been three days, Fenris.”
“Four, but you’re right. The number doesn’t matter. What matters is that it hasn’t happened. So how do you want me? Lying down? Tied down? Naked?”
“I don’t want you at all, Fenris. Now, stop it.” I fisted my hands at my sides, willing myself not to react to his words.
“Ouch. That’s just hurtful. I thought we were friends.” The ever-present humor faded from his expression and his tone.
“You know we are. That’s why I’m saying no.”
“What if I said I have a more selfish reason for the offer.”
“Like what?”
“Feeding on me will help me.”
“In what world?”
“In mine. If I’m yours, I can’t be anyone else’s. I’m tired of being paraded around and shown to every single werewolf alive. I’m at the end of my patience. Spending time with you is the only thing keeping me sane. I’m done, Eliana. Please. Just feed on me.”
I stared at him for a long moment and saw the desperation in his serious gaze. He’d been there for me in so many ways, and I hated that I couldn’t give him the one thing he was asking for in return.
“I’m sorry, Fenris. But I care about you too much to hurt you.”
“What happened to unconditional trust?”
“I trust you, Fenris. I just don’t trust me.”
He crouched in front of me, tilting his head to study my face.
“Every time you get hungry enough to pounce on me, you stop yourself. What’s not to trust?”
“I stop because you always do something to help me find the strength. If I purposely feed on you, I won’t stop, Fenris. I know you think that I’m harmless and that you’re resistant, but you’ve never seen what happens when a succubus feeds deeply from a single person. It’s not pretty.”
“Your dad.”
“My dad and so many others,” I said.
Fenris looked down at his hands. The defeated droop in his shoulders nearly broke my restraint to stay away from him. I desperately wanted to hug him and keep apologizing, but I’d been honest about my self-trust and wasn’t sure I’d stop at just hugging.
“If Adira comes looking for me, let her know I…” I didn’t know what to tell her that would actually get her to leave me alone.
“Don’t worry. I’ll cover for you. Go. Maybe I’ll see you tonight?”
I nodded, grabbed my bag, and left him alone in the red room.
“Don’t do it. You’re going to die.”
I shook my head at the stupid girl on the TV and let another square of chocolate melt in my mouth as the monster in the basement chewed her face off.
“Told you not to do it. Everyone knows that basements are instant death.”
My phone buzzed beside me, and I paused the horror flick. Since leaving the Academy three hours ago, I hadn’t heard a peep from Adira or the Quills and had used my reprieve wisely by binging on horror movies and chocolate. However, I knew it wouldn’t last. Peace, when living in Uttira, rarely lasted long.
I glanced at my phone and gave a quick sigh of relief when I saw it was Dad and not Adira.
Dad: Would you like to come over and keep me company after school? We could make dinner together like we used to.
Me: I’d love to. I’ll be right there.
Happy for the distraction, I cleaned up any evidence of my afternoon activities and hurried out the door before anyone showed up to stop me.
Dad was on the front stoop, waiting for me when I pulled into their driveway.
“I’m so glad you’re here,” he said as soon as I opened my door.
“Me too. School was rough today.”
“Why? What happened?” Genuine concern lit his face and made my chest ache. When I reached him, he pulled me in for a quick hug.
“Nothing important. Just typical school stuff.”
He pulled back. “I promise I won’t make you kneel and pray like last time. I’d rather hear the truth, no matter what happened. You can tell me.”
I met his clear gaze, unsure what it meant or how long it’d last. He released me and ushered me inside.
“It was Adira again,” I admitted, taking off my jacket. “She’s trying to manipulate me into making choices I don’t want to make. I understand she’s an adult, and I’ve tried being respectfully obedient, but—”
“Respect is for god-fearing people, not that horrible woman. She fears nothing.”
“I think she fears Mom.”
I followed him to the kitchen where he had already started fixing several things for dinner.
“I find that hard to believe. Your mother told me what Adira is doing. She’s not only manipulating you. Did you know that woman is controlling access to the new club? I can’t even bring your mother any food because I’m not allowed inside.” He gestured to all the dishes then looked at me again. “You got in. Do you know the code for the door?”
“It’s not a code, Dad. Access is tied to your DNA.”
He looked impressed as he handed me an onion to chop.
“I knew your mom was working on some important stuff but DNA encoded security? That’s big. I still wish that I could check in on her. I think she’s getting better. She doesn’t bring lovers home anymore or return from work smelling like sex. That’s a good sign, right?”
“Dad, I really don’t think that’s my place to say. Your relationship is something you need to discuss with Mom.”
Something flashed in his eyes, but they remained clear and focused on me.
“Right. I apologize. I forgot. Tell me more about school. How are your grades?” He went to the fridge.
“Remember, it’s not a typical school. They don’t grade anything. They test on aptitude and skills, instead. Either the students know the materials or they don’t.”
“And do you know the materials?”
“For the most part. I’m finishing up some math and am hoping to graduate after that.”
“You’re so young yet.”
“I’m turning seventeen soon, remember? And I know it seems young by the standards you’re used to, but trust me that it’s not young here. People younger than me have already graduated.” I brought him the chopped onion for the salad he was fixing.
“Well, it seems your mom was right to bring you here, then. Even though it broke my heart to let you go, I’m glad you’re excelling.”
I leaned against the counter and studied Dad’s face. The only reason it had broken his heart was that I’d been his remaining tie to Mom. It had nothing to do with his love for me.
“I love you, Dad. I’m sorry your life didn’t go the direction you planned.”
“I’m not. I have you and your mother. I couldn’t want anything more.”
I managed a smile and asked what else I could do to help. Over the next hour, we talked about Mom and her club and how people were holding him back from being truly useful to her. When I couldn’t take any more, I excused myself, letting him know I still had an assignment from Adira to complete.
“Be careful around her. I wouldn’t trust her with my worst enemy’s soul.”
“Since when do you have enemies?” I asked, putting on my jacket.
“It’s just a saying. But if I had one, I think it would be her.”
I chuckled.
“You and just about every other resident in Uttira.”
“It makes me wonder why the people here put up with her.”
“That’s a really good question, Dad.” And something I’d wondered often during my stay here. I hugged him goodbye and left.
My mind dwelled on our conversation and his dislike of Adira. The residents with their mark, who were free to come and go as they pleased, never seemed to mind her. The people she acted as a gatekeeper for definitely didn’t like her. Not that our dislike changed anything.
I sighed, thinking of how she’d portaled me to Mom’s club that morning. Adira always seemed to get her way in the end. And, that was why, as much as I didn’t want to go to the Roost, I drove there anyway.
Parked in front, I stared at the double doors and wished I was anywhere else. I didn’t want to spend another evening staring at my phone and pretending not to hear music that made me want to get up and dance. I hated Adira’s games. And Piepen’s. And Mom’s. Even Fenris pushed too far sometimes.
Leaning my head against the steering wheel, I thought of tomorrow’s spell removal. After that, I could escape to Fenris’s cabin or the caves or anywhere I wanted. For tonight, I was stuck though. I thought of how I’d been stuck in the red room with Fenris, too, and smiled. Fenris was right. If I had to do something, why not do it my way?
I grabbed my phone and sent a quick text to Fenris, asking if he was already at the Roost. His reply that they were leaving in a few minutes was almost immediate.
Me: Bring games.
Fenris: I’m on it.
Hopefully, with the games, tonight wouldn’t drag like the last time. Giving in to the inevitable, I left my car and went inside.
Twenty minutes later, Fenris strode in with his her-herd. They all carried a stack of games in their arms.
I wasn’t the only one to stare in wide-eyed shock. Several of the dancers stopped and watched the group as they approached the back booths where I sat.
“Um, that’s a lot of games. Where did you get them all?”
“Humans aren’t the only ones who like to have fun,” he said as he deposited his pile on the table. “These are everything we could scrape together from our pack. We have to return them tonight, but I think they’ll serve their purpose. Ready to cause some trouble?”
“Trouble?” I echoed, confused.
The music cut out, and Fenris faced the room, cupping his hands around his mouth.
“Game Night,” he shouted. “Pick your partners! Pick your opponents! Pick your game!”
I looked at Jenna. “What is he doing?”
She set her stack of games on the table and slid into the booth next to me.
“He told us what Adira did today and how she’s pressuring you to be here. When you texted him about the games, he knew that sitting in the back booth here and playing games all night would only get you in more trouble with Adira. So he came up with a plan. She wants you to act like your peers, right? Well, if everyone is playing games, she can’t get mad at you.”
He turned just then to wink at me.
“You ready to be my partner?”
I glanced at Jenna, feeling guilty. She’d admitted she’d been jealous of the attention he gave me. Although he’d explained why, I doubted understanding his reasons had lessened her yearning to be the sole focus for his attention. Yet, she didn’t look angry as she met my gaze and smiled.
“It’ll be fun,” she said. “Willow and I volunteer to be your opponents.”
“Are you sure?”
Jenna nodded.
“Okay.”
The music came back on at a lower volume as the Roost turned into a madhouse. People paired off and formed groups. The couches were shoved to the side and tables rearranged in minutes. More teens started to arrive, even a few giants like Emory, who rarely spent their time at the Roost.
All the games disappeared off of the table faster than I could blink.
“Mind if we take this spot since you’re not playing a game?” a waif-like girl asked us. She held up the checkerboard in her hands. “I’ve always wanted to play this.”
“Sure.” Jenna slid out, and I quickly did the same.
More games were underway everywhere I looked. Someone had even set up a bean bag toss on the dance floor. The expressions on everyone’s faces fluctuated between amused and angrily competitive as they began to play.
“Should we get in line for something? Which game do you want to play first?” I asked Jenna.
“This one?” She grinned and pulled a folded piece of plastic from her back pocket.
My stomach sank the moment Willow produced a spinner card from under her shirt.
“We knew better than to put the good stuff out,” she said with a grin.
“I’ll be the spinner for this round and swap out with one of the losing team members for the next game,” Laurel, the fourth in the her-herd if Aubrey still counted as a member, said.
“What do you think, partner?” Fenris asked, putting an arm around my shoulders. “Feel like being flexible?”
Hunger unfurled in my middle like the menacing beast it was.
My life was a living hell.
