‘Do you have your binding spell?’
‘No,’ I reply. ‘I gave it to Amara before I left. Did you hear me?’
‘I heard you. Do we have to do this now?’ he groans.
‘We kinda do. Is he your brother?’ I fold my arms across my chest and wait as he struggles to meet my stare. ‘Gabriel!’
‘His name is Tobias. Tobias Kendryk, okay? But we called him Bias. And yes, he’s our little brother,’ he sighs.
‘Why the hell would you not tell me that! Grayson told me your brother was dead! What-’
‘Bias is dead to us. Okay? That man isn’t our brother. Our brother died in the Hunter’s cells centuries ago. Whoever that is…isn’t my baby brother.’
‘You should have told me!’
‘We couldn’t. When you met Grayson at your uncle’s house, you said that if he was one of our men, you couldn’t trust us. How would you have reacted if you knew he was our brother?’ He drags his fingers through his hair and looks up at the sky, snow falls on his lashes and sit there too cold to melt. ‘I told Grayson to tell you. But he said no. That you needed to trust us first.’ He lowers his gaze and I see a terrible sadness in his eyes. ‘I’m sorry we lied to you. But that man isn’t my Bias. That’s Toby. And he’s not my brother anymore.’
He waits for me to say or do something. I feel so let down by him. So stupid that everyone back at the house knows who he really is while I remained clueless.
‘I’m sorry, Lilly. Please. I didn’t have a choice.’
‘What now?’ I sigh, looking around the darkness.
‘We have no money. No phone and we’re stuck in the middle of nowhere miles away from the house,’ he says.
‘Helpful. Don’t you know where we are?’ I ask, wiping off the snow from my legs before it melts and makes me even colder than I already am.
‘I think so. Let’s get somewhere warm before you freeze to death. Why the hell are you in shorts?’
‘I was in a rush. It was a spur of the moment decision to run after him.’
We start to walk. Where to? I have no idea. I take his hand in mine.
‘You still want to hold my hand?’ he asks, glancing at our entwined fingers.
‘Yes,’ I grumble. ‘You prat.’
‘Hey, I’m not the only prat here. Running off? Facing him alone? Letting him go? All very prattish things.’
‘Prats together then,’ I laugh as he wraps his arm around my waist and holds me close.
‘Looks that way. Come on, I know a place not far from here where we can get in the warm. It’s far closer than the house.’
Finally, we get somewhere close to civilisation. We come onto a real road. One with actual lighting. He pulls me on quickly and soon we arrive somewhere called The Starlight Hotel.
‘Thank God,’ I say under my breath as we head towards it. ‘I can’t feel my legs.’
When we get inside, Gabriel greets the elderly man behind the counter by name.
‘Earl,’ he says with a slight nod. ‘Can I get a key to my room, please?’
‘Of course,’ Earl replies, sliding over a chub key. ‘Rough night?’ He glances at the various cuts and bruises on Gabriel’s face, and my odd wardrobe.
‘Car trouble,’ Gabriel replies, taking the key. ‘Thanks, Earl.’
He takes my hand and leads me down the tartan-carpeted hallway to a room at the end of the hall.
‘I have a permanent room here. We can get warm and take a minute to get our shit together.’
Inside, he locks the door, flicks on the light and sits me on the large double bed. He takes the duvet and wraps it around me before pouring us both a large glass of Scotch. He hands me mine and kneels in front of me and starts massaging my legs, encouraging the blood to return.
There’s a leather sofa against the wall facing a television, a desk with a few books and a couple of bottles of Scotch and an open wardrobe full of his clothes. I look at them curiously.
‘What exactly is the purpose of this hotel room? Please tell me this isn’t your love nest,’ I say, imagining in an instant all the girls he must have had in here.
‘No,’ he says, still rubbing my legs. ‘It’s my Grayson-free nest. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but life in that house can be a little…intense. Sometimes I need a break. You’re the first girl I’ve brought here, if you must know.’
Hanging over the wardrobe door, I spot an item of clothing that completely contradicts his claim. It’s a roll neck cable knit long-sleeved jumper that would reach down to the wearer’s thighs. And it’s my favourite colour. A lovely deep red.
‘So, that’s yours?’ I joke, nodding to the very feminine jumper. His face falls completely.
‘That belonged to a friend,’ he says gruffly.
‘A friend?’
‘Yeah. A friend. That’s all.’
‘Where is she?’
He turns and says merely, ‘Gone.’ Then he takes a deep breath and moves on. ‘Drink the Scotch. It will help calm your nerves.’
I didn’t realise I was shaking so violently. And not just from the cold.
‘I genuinely thought that if I could get him alone, I could reason with him. I should have stopped him. We need that journal, and I just let him go. I’ve let everyone down.’ I close my eyes and slump.
‘You can’t reason with a madman, Lilly. He tormented you for years and called it love. You did well to face him. It was stupid. Bloody stupid. But brave.’ He strokes my cheek. ‘We’ll figure it out. We’ll get the journal and get him out of your life for good. Without handing you over. Somehow. A shower will warm you up. You’re even more pale than normal, and shivering like hell. You’re mad, running out in shorts in December.’ He puts on a little smile. It’s a sad little smile. It’s not his familiar grin. ‘You look hot in those boots though,’ he adds, getting to his feet. I look back at him feeling utterly ashamed of myself for yet again doing an idiotic thing and getting him hurt.
I stand and take his hand in mine. ‘I’m sorry, Gabriel.’ With my other hand, I gently feel his cuts and bruises. ‘Please forgive me for getting you hurt again.’
‘It’s nothing. I’ll heal,’ he says, moving away from my touch. He doesn’t even look at me. ‘A shower. That’s what you need.’
He heads into the bathroom and turns on the shower. The sound of the water is the only thing that breaks the silence. I wait, but he doesn’t come out. After a while, steam starts making its way through the open door into the bedroom, but he’s not in the shower itself. I can tell by the steady stream of water. What is he doing in there?
Leaving the duvet behind, I follow him in. He’s standing with his head bowed, gripping the sink. My presence goes unnoticed. I observe his unusually sombre behaviour.
‘I heard you giving Toby orders when he got into the house.’ He looks at my reflection through the bathroom mirror, instead of turning to face me. ‘Why didn’t it work?’
‘Grayson and Toby learnt how to fight my compulsion after years of practice. It’s all about strength of will and mental stamina. I told Toby to stop, and two seconds later he was moving again. Clearly, he’s got a hell of a lot better at it since I saw him last.’ He starts needlessly washing his hands which he does for a ridiculously long time.
‘Who’s Rose?’ I ask. His hands stop mid-soaping for a few seconds and then he carries on like I hadn’t said a word. ‘Is it her jumper you’ve kept hold off? Is she the girl who’s gone?’ He doesn’t answer.
He turns off the tap and starts drying his hands, still avoiding the questions or making eye contact with me.
‘Gabriel, please talk to me.’
‘I should call Grayson. Let him know we’re okay. There’s a phone…’ He turns and goes to walk past me. I stand in the doorway stopping him. ‘Can you move please?’ he says with a sigh.
‘Can you answer my questions?’
‘No,’ he says, glaring at me. He steps forwards, but I stand firm. Short of him lifting me off the floor, there’s not much he can do.
‘Please don’t shut me out. Talk to me.’
‘Rose was someone I let down. A long time ago. Centuries ago,’ he snaps. ‘She trusted me, and I failed her. And no, that jumper didn’t belong to her. It belonged to a friend, who I lost.’
‘Lost?’ I ask. ‘What does that even mean?’ I’m getting tired of the deflections.
‘It means that she was in my life. And now she isn’t.’
‘Did you love her?’
‘Just drop it, Lilly!’ he says frustrated. ‘Have I asked about your scars? No. Have I demanded an explanation for what I saw in your memories about the barn? No. When Toby, of all people, called you depraved, did I demand an explanation? I haven’t demanded to know anything. Not a single thing.’
‘I’m not demanding. I’m asking-’
‘There are things in your past that you’re ashamed of and can’t face. Things that you regret. I would never, ever corner you like this and insist you tell me. You’re completely out of order.’
His words are harsh but his eyes. There’s a fear in them I’ve never seen there before. He’s terrified and lashing out. Just like Collins warned me he would.
‘Gabriel, that’s not what I’m doing. I just-’
‘Is it too hard for you to believe that I have a past that I regret?’ he says over me. ‘That there are things I’ve done that I would change if I could? Things I can’t bear to talk about?’
He steps back and shakes his head. ‘No. Because all you think about is yourself.’
‘That’s not fair!’
‘I look at you as the person you are now and the person you’re turning into every day. I have no interest in the person you were. Not with Toby, or Harry, or anyone else. I wish that you felt the same about me. But clearly, you don’t. I can’t change my past. So, if that’s what you’re going to use to judge the person I am now, then this will never work. Because, to be honest, you would hate the man I was. You would loathe him.’ He charges past me back into the main room.
I turn and follow him.
‘Gabriel… just calm-’
He spins around fast, struggling to contain his growing anger.
‘You were a bloody idiot going after him tonight. You were an idiot running away the other night, and you are an idiot for thinking that he wouldn’t hurt you.’
‘I know-’
‘Do you? Do you really? Because it looks to me like you can’t wait to get yourself killed. Well…’ he charges up to me and points a shaking finger in my face. ‘If death is what you’re after, it’s not going to happen. Do you hear me? I won’t fucking lose you, Lilly Hooper. I won’t-’
I grab hold of his hair and pull his face into mine. My lips land on his, hard. He pulls back, his eyes looking at me with uncertainty at my sudden act. But I keep a tight grip on his hair, knotting my fingers through it tightly and stepping closer so my body is flush with his.
‘Kiss me,’ I tell him. ‘For God’s sake. Fucking kiss me!’
He lunges, wrapping one arm firmly around my waist as his other slides behind my ear. He pulls me in. His tongue caresses mine in a desperate kiss that consumes me completely. He starts pushing me back. My legs hit the bed as my hands grab at the hem of his t-shirt. I pull it off quick, keen not to let our lips be apart any longer than necessary. The necklace I gave him rests on his chest. He does the same, pulling off my top and throwing it to the floor so his hands can stroke and caress as much of me as possible. His belt joins our clothing. As do my shorts. I fall back on the bed and take him with me, pulling down his jeans and wrapping my legs firmly around his waist, keeping his as close as possible. He moans my name as he traces kisses down my neck. Then lower, across my chest, my stomach, and then between my thighs.
Falling to his knees, he runs his hand along my boots, from my knees to my ankles, which he lifts and rests on his shoulders as he continues kissing me. I can’t stop the heavenly moans. My fingers entwine in his hair as I writhe in pleasure. On and on it goes until I can contain it no longer. As I let out a pleasure-filled moan, the lights flicker. The television turns on as does the radio, and the books on his desk tremble. The room comes alive as I climax. He crawls back on the bed and gets on top of me, kissing me wildly as he rests his body on top of mine and positions himself between my legs.
‘Tell me you want me,’ he breathes through his kisses. ‘Tell me.’
‘I want you,’ I moan. ‘Since the moment I saw you. I want you now, Gabriel.’ He looks down at me, filled with want and passion. I ask, ‘Do you have protection? I don’t want to get pregnant.’
‘You won’t,’ he says, his hair falling over his brilliant blue eyes. ‘You never will with me. I can’t have kids. I’ve never been able to.’ He waits, watching my reaction. ‘Is that a problem? For the future?’ My worries that he only wants me to further his bloodline vanish.
‘The future? You think of us like that?’ I say, absolutely taken aback that he would.
‘Of course I do,’ he tells me as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world. ‘Don’t you?’
I pull him back down to my lips which are smiling, loving his words, his touch, his kiss and his soul. When I feel his body in its entirety, when we finally become one, I know without a shadow of a doubt.
I’ve fallen in love with him.
∞∞∞
The smell of him surrounds me like a blanket of comfort. The scent of his hair and his cologne. The feel of his skin on mine. I can’t help but smile as I watch him sleep soundly next to me, nose to nose. He breathes slow and deep. His hair’s even more of a mess than usual and even sleeping, his face is beautiful. I play with the pendant resting on his chest. He’s still wearing it, and that makes me so happy. We’re completely entangled in each other as we were when we finally stopped exploring each other’s bodies and fell asleep long after the sun came up.
I lean in, my face less than an inch from his and all I want to do is kiss him. He’s the most perfect thing I’ve ever seen.
‘What are you doing?’ he asks, making me jump a little. His eyes remain closed, but a smile appears on his lips.
‘Watching you sleep,’ I admit.
‘That’s a creepy thing to do.’ He flicks his eyes open. They smile with the rest of him. ‘You look beautiful in the morning. Have I ever told you that?’
‘No, you haven’t. May I say that you too, look mighty fine.’ I take a deep breath and just can’t believe that a man this beautiful, inside and out, would ever look twice at a mess like me. What must he have thought? He saw all of my scars. He saw everything.
‘Hey…what’s the matter?’ he asks softly, stroking my face.
‘Did they bother you?’
‘What?’
‘My scars? Did they…distract you? Put you off?’
He smiles and shuffles closer. ‘Did it feel like I was put off at any point?’ He runs his hands down my back, letting his fingers gently glide over my marks. ‘I got a bit distracted when you made the light bulb explode.’ His face buries into my neck and he starts kissing my skin. ‘And you in those boots…hmmm, that was definitely a distraction.’ He sits suddenly and whips the duvet off the bed, tossing it across the room altogether. Then he looks down at me. ‘You are perfect. Absofuckinglutely perfect.’ He leans over me with his hands pressing into the pillow as he nudges himself between my legs. ‘Does it feel like I’m put off now?’ he asks.
‘Nope. Definitely not,’ I giggle, running my hands up his chest.
‘Kiss me,’ he says, working his own magic with every bit of movement he makes. I grab his hair and pull him down so I can kiss him hard.
∞∞∞
‘I really should call Grayson,’ he grumbles, lying behind me with his face snuggled into my neck. I have no idea what time it is but the sun’s going down. We’ve been in our cocoon all day, and it’s been bliss. He gets up with a groan and starts pulling on his underwear.
‘Does Grayson know about your home away from home?’ I ask, sitting up.
He shakes his head. ‘He will when I give him the address to pick us up.’
‘What if we get a taxi back to the house?’ I saw a load of cash stuffed in one of his drawers when he paid the pizza delivery guy. ‘He doesn’t need to know about this place. That way you get to keep it as your sanctuary.’
He throws me a wink. ‘I like the way you think.’ He reaches over and grabs my hand, pulling me to my feet. ‘Get that sexy little ass of yours in the shower.’
∞∞∞
When the cab pulls up outside the main gate to The Orchard, we get out and share a look. A nervous, apprehensive look. I didn’t want to leave our bubble, and neither did he, but we’ve been missing for an entire day. It’s going to be hard enough explaining why I ran off, never mind where we’ve been for the last fifteen hours or so.
‘Ready?’ he asks.
‘No,’ I moan.
He scans my face which is scrunched up in thought. ‘What are you thinking, Beautiful?’
‘I think that we shouldn’t tell him, or anyone, about last night. I think we keep it simple. We separately followed Toby but met just before he ran off. He got away and we found somewhere to sleep. Then you hailed down a ride. I don’t want to upset Grayson. It’s pretty obvious he has feelings for me and I don’t want to upset him. Or make him cross. Last time he was angry, he beat the shit out of you.’
‘True. But at the same time, I don’t want to stop seeing you.’ He looks at the access panel which opens the gate and thinks. It feels like forever as he decides what he wants to do. ‘We can keep things between us for now? See how things go in private?’ He looks at me and waits. ‘Secret sex is always better,’ he adds with a wink.
As I chew my lip, he takes my hand and takes on a serious expression.
‘You’re not just another notch on my bedpost. I know what people say about me. But it’s different with you. You do believe me, don’t you?’
I nod and give his hand a squeeze. I’m suddenly terrified. Now I’ve had him, I can’t bear the thought of losing him. I love him! But there’s so much mess around us. It seems impossible.
‘Lilly, I want this. I want you. Please don’t get cold feet on me now. We can make this work, but it just needs to be kept on the down low for a little while. When the time’s right, we won’t need to sneak around. I’ll talk to Grayson in a day or two and figure this out. Okay?’
Again, I nod. He taps the code in, and the gate slowly starts to open.
∞∞∞
Walking down the long gravel path, the house finally comes into view. Ahead of us, dotted around in groups all chatting to each other must be three dozen Nomads who all turn to face us as we walk up the path together. A few go inside and shortly afterwards Grayson comes out. Seeing I’m okay, he visibly sighs in relief before yelling.
‘WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN?!’
He charges towards us and pulls me into a hug before shaking me.
‘What the hell were you thinking going off like that? And you!’ He lets go of me and turns on Gabriel. ‘You couldn’t use a phone and let me know you two were okay?’ But he pulls him into a hug too. ‘Where’s Toby? Did you find him?’
‘We did, but he got away,’ Gabriel says as his brother lets him go. ‘I’ll fill you in inside. It’s been a hell of a night, and I’m sure Lilly could do with a good night’s sleep.’
‘Are you alright?’ Grayson asks me.
‘I’m fine. Tired but otherwise okay.’ He looks at me for a moment as his brain ticks over. I know he’s dying to ask a million questions but he won’t with all these people around us, listening to every word. Placing his hand on my back, he gives me a gentle nudge towards the house.
‘Get inside. I’ll feel much better with you inside.’
Yeah, because I was safe inside last night.
The mess in the lobby’s been cleared. The charred table’s been removed, and the blood’s been mopped up. You would never have known that Toby was here. Or Tobias.
Billy nods when I see him standing inside Grayson’s office. He comes out to greet us.
‘Miss Hooper. Nice to see you in one piece.’
‘Thank you, Billy.’
‘Lilly,’ Grayson says. ‘How about you go get some rest. It’s late, and you must be exhausted. I’ll have some food sent up to you if you like?’ he says kindly. This is weird. I was expecting yelling and threats. Demands to know where we’d been and what we’d been doing but instead, he’s reasonable.
‘I’m fine, thank you.’
‘Here.’ He pulls out my watch from his trouser pocket and hands it to me. ‘Please keep it on. I don’t think my nerves can take losing you again.’
Collins appears from the kitchen followed by Gabriel. Collins looks relieved to see me and heads straight over. I meet him halfway and we hug each other.
‘Thank goodness you’re okay. You scared the hell out of me running off like that.’
‘I’m so sorry you got caught up in all that last night. Are you okay? Did you get hurt?’
‘Don’t be daft. I’m fine, just glad you two are okay.’ We let each other go.
‘Where’s Amara?’
He keeps looking over my shoulder at Grayson.
‘She’s upstairs asleep,’ he says, forcing a smile. ‘She’s been awake since you left, but she crashed about an hour ago. She’ll be relieved to see you.’
‘I’ll leave her to sleep. Can you ask her to come find me when she’s awake?’
‘Of course.’
He pats my arm before Grayson calls over. ‘Gabriel. A word in my office before you head up to bed.’ He goes into his office leaving the door wide open ready for him.
Gabriel looks down at me. My worry must be apparent.
‘Everything will be fine,’ he insists. ‘I’ll tell him what went down so he’s all filled in and that will be that. Stop fretting. Go get a shower and some rest.’
With a little wink, Gabriel leaves and follows Grayson into his study.
‘C’mon,’ Collins says. ‘I’ll walk up with you.’ Collins takes my arm and starts leading me upstairs. I don’t miss the glares from the odd Nomad as I go past.
‘What’s up with them?’ I ask Collins quietly.
‘Grayson wasn’t too happy about you getting past them. He had words. Loud, angry words. Plus, you did kind of slam them into the wall before you left.’
‘Oh yeah.’ I forgot about that.
Once inside my room, Collins closes the door, turns and takes my shoulders. His face is more severe than I’ve ever seen it.
‘Lilly, no matter what happens, no matter what Grayson says to you or how kind he is, you can’t tell him that you and Gabriel slept together.’
‘What?!’ He’s caught me completely off guard. ‘I don’t know what-’
‘Gabriel told me just now after I told him that Grayson went absolutely fucking mad when he realised you two were gone. It wasn’t your safety he was worried about. It was the fact you two were alone together. I’ve never, in all my time with him, seen him so unstable. He killed the two Nomads that were posted at your door and terrified Amara half to death. He kept accusing her of letting you leave. He was adamant that she knew where you two were and demanded she admits to knowing that you two were in a secret relationship which of course she denied. He even frightened me.’
‘I’m so sorry. Is she okay?’ I gasp, horrified.
‘She’s fine. Shook up, but okay.’
‘He really killed those two men?’ I feel awful. How could I be so selfish?
‘He did. He’s told us all not to tell you that though. He doesn’t want you to see him as the type of man that kills out of anger.’ He rolls his eyes.
‘Bit late for that. I just wanted this to be over. I thought I could get the journal for him.’
‘This is about more than the journal. This is Grayson and his pride. He wants you, and if he knows that Gabriel had you, I dread to think what will happen. He doesn’t take rejection well. He said that if anything happens between you and Gabriel, he’ll banish him.’
‘Banish?’
‘Send him away. He won’t be allowed back to the coven, and if he did come back, he could be killed.’
‘He could do that?’
‘It’s what he did to Toby! And they were really close.’
‘You mean Bias, his brother.’ I add with raised eyebrows. He blinks at me in surprise. ‘Yeah. He told me. Not cool, Collins. And when Amara wakes up, you can tell her that I’m not happy she kept it from me either.’
‘I’m sorry. It’s just, how you reacted at your uncle’s house…’
‘Yeah. I know. But still.’
‘Grayson’s been kind to you. I don’t want that to change, and I won’t have Amara caught in the crossfire or watch as Gabriel loses his family, his home and his coven. Gabriel agrees. He was horrified to learn about his brother’s reaction. He knew it would be bad, but banishment? No matter what, Grayson can’t know about you two. Please, I can’t lose him. I can’t lose any of you.’ He waits for me to say something.
‘Of course. I won’t say a word. I promise.’
‘Good,’ he says with a relieved sigh. ‘And you’re alright about the whole Bias thing?’
‘I would have killed you all if I’d known,’ I laugh nervously. ‘The way I was. You did the right thing.’
‘I hope so.’ He turns to leave. With his hand on the door handle, he stops and looks back at me over his shoulder. He looks even more concerned.
‘What is it, Collins?’
‘I don’t want to speak out of turn. Gabriel’s a good friend of mine. He’s a good guy when he wants to be. He’s good to you. Amara loves you, and I love her, so I’m going to give you some advice.’
‘Okay.’ Where’s this going?
‘Gabriel doesn’t have the best track record with women. He chases them down, and when he gets what he wants, he tends to lose interest.’
Oh. That’s where this is going.
‘I love the guy,’ he says. ‘But he can be a real dick to the women he dates. And if Grayson threatens him, he may not choose you. I just want you to be prepared for that. I know you’ve been through hell with your family, and with Toby. I don’t want to see you get hurt. Just… don’t put all your hopes on Gabriel. I would hate for him to let you down.’ He gives a small bow and keeps his eyes on the floor. ‘Night, Lilly.’
‘Night, Collins.’
He leaves and closes the door behind him. I stand at the end of my bed with my fingers knotted together and a weight on my chest that’s almost crippling.
∞∞∞
After a night tossing and turning in bed, I get up with the sunrise and shower. Amara didn’t come to see me. I’ve been left alone all night. No one has come to check on me, and by no one, I really mean Gabriel. I know it’s not like he can come and see me easily, but still. I’ve missed him.
I trace my fingers along my skin, just as he did as he held me in his arms last night. I tingle and smile at the mere memory of it all.
I’m in love.
I’m completely besotted. But he may not be, and I must prepare myself for that. He may not be willing to risk everything for me.
And he shouldn’t.
∞∞∞
When the sun rises, I head downstairs for a cup of coffee. But hearing someone playing the piano in the lounge, I stop. The melody’s beautiful and floats through the lobby, luring me in. My heart swells as I stand there silently watching Gabriel play. The man is full of surprises.
‘You know…it’s rude to stare,’ he says as his fingers slow to a stop.
‘How long have you played?’ I ask.
‘A while,’ he replies, his back still to me.
‘You play beautifully,’ I tell him, heading over to perch on the stool beside him.
‘Thanks.’ He glances at me and smiles. A smile which I return tenfold, especially when I see he’s unharmed. Grayson didn’t go postal again. Thank goodness.
I rest my fingers on the keys before he takes his away. I start to play. I haven’t played for years, but it’s a skill I haven’t lost. My fingers move without effort as I play Beethoven’s Moonlight Sonata and I feel his eyes on me.
‘This was my favourite to learn,’ I tell him as I continue to play. ‘I found it beautifully sad.’ I smile, looking up at him. My fingers still move, and I don’t miss a note. But the smile I get back is less than enthusiastic.
‘I had no idea you could play the piano,’ He looks back at my fingers.
‘Mr Simmons taught me. Him and his metal ruler.’ I turn my attention back to the keys. ‘He also taught me this one.’ I stop and start another melody.
‘Is that Danse Macabre?’ he asks. ‘You’re very talented.’ He sits in silence as he watches me till I’m done. ‘That was lovely, Lilly. Thank you for playing for me.’
‘My pleasure.’ I rest my hands on my lap and look over hoping to catch his eye, but he keeps his eyes firmly on the keys. I don’t know if it’s me and my paranoia about what Collins said last night, but he seems a little off. ‘How did it go with Grayson last night?’
‘Fine,’ he says simply. ‘I told him everything we agreed to tell him. He was pissed that we both went off on our own, but he’s glad we’re okay.’
‘He didn’t hurt you, did he?’
‘No.’
‘And he doesn’t know…’ I gesture between us.
‘No.’ He gets to his feet. ‘No, he doesn’t. He made it clear that he wouldn’t be happy if anything did happen, but no. He has no idea. I’m really sorry, Lilly, but I have to head out. I have a busy day, and I’m already running behind.’ He leans down and gives me a kiss on the top of my head. As he goes to leave I take his hand. He stops and looks down at me.
‘Are you okay?’ I ask. ‘You seem-’
‘I’m fine,’ he says with a shrug. ‘I just have a shit ton to do today.’ He pulls his hand free which I try to keep hold of. ‘I’ll see you later though, yeah?’ He turns and leaves the room. I watch the empty doorway. That weight in my chest is getting heavier. It lifts a little when Amara pokes her head around the door.
‘Amara,’ I say with utter joy.
She, however, bursts into tears and comes at me with her arms wide. I meet her in a hug and do my best to calm her down.
‘I was so worried about you,’ she sobs into my neck. ‘Grayson was so cross, and no one could find you.’ She gives my arm a sudden whack. ‘WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING GOING AFTER TOBY ALONE LIKE THAT! ANYTHING COULD HAVE HAPPENED!’
‘I’m sorry,’ I tell her, rubbing my arm. ‘I never meant to get you in trouble.’
‘HE COULD HAVE KILLED YOU, LILLY! DO YOU HAVE NO GODDAMN SELF-PRESERVATION?’
‘Stop screaming at me. I said I was sorry.’ Tears are streaming down her face and I have no idea if she’s angry, frightened or sad. I guess all three. And I don’t have the heart to tell her off for lying about who Toby really is.
‘SORRY? SORRY? YOU’RE A BLOODY IDIOT! YOU COULD HAVE DIED!’
‘My feelings exactly.’ We both turn to see Grayson in the doorway. He folds his arms and looks at Amara. ‘Morning, Amara. I understand you’re upset but can you refrain from screaming and hitting the Arcane?’
Amara wipes her tears quickly and composes herself.
Lowering her head a little, she says, ‘I’m sorry, sir.’
He looks at me.
‘Good morning, Miss Hooper. Did you sleep okay?’
‘I did. Thank you.’ Amara’s gone pale and seems to be shrinking. She’s afraid. I subtly move so I’m between them. ‘You?’ I ask him.
‘Perfectly well now I know you’re safe.’ He starts towards me. Amara starts backing away. ‘Listen. Gabriel told me what happened.’
Oh no. He stands in front of me, reading my face.
‘Would you mind giving me your version of events?’ he asks, baiting me into revealing some unknown secrets, I’m sure. He’s testing me. But I know what Gabriel told him. We practised it all the way home.
‘I heard the fight. I wanted to help. I thought I could talk Toby down. Maybe get the journal. Your Nomads wouldn’t let me past, so I took off my binding spell and forced my way through. I didn’t give anyone a choice. Amara tried to stop me, but I didn’t listen.’ His smile goes for the briefest second as he looks at her over my shoulder, but it returns as soon as he’s looking back at me. I hate that smile. It’s far from genuine. I carry on. ‘You were all looking for him in the orchard, but I knew he was in the woods. I didn’t want to lose him or put anyone else in danger, so I followed him alone. I caught up to him. We fought. He attacked me, but Gabriel found us and got him off. They fought, but Toby pinned us down with his fire. I tried to stop him, but I wasn’t strong enough. He ran. He didn’t have the journal.’
‘Hmm. Exactly what Gabriel said. What happened after?’
‘It was cold, and we were lost. We had no money or phone, so Gabriel broke into an empty old farmhouse. We fell asleep waiting for morning. We were so tired we slept most the day before waving someone down and heading back to the house. That’s it.’ His eyes furrow a little and we all stand in silence. Finally, he breaks eye contact. I held my poker face well I think.
‘He should never have got that close to you in the first place,’ he says. ‘He lived here with us a long time before he left, so he knows this place like the back of his hand.’
‘There’s a small hole in that big wall. It’s behind a bush. You wouldn’t know it was there for looking. I’m pretty sure that’s how he got in here.’
‘Is that so? Hmm. I’ll have the whole wall searched and the hole filled. He had friends helping him last night. Three of the Nomads we had in the house were his. You know better than most how manipulative he can be, but I promise I’m doing everything I can to make this house safe. When the veil is down, there are a hundred spells I could do to protect us all, but until then I’m constrained. I hope you can forgive me.’
I can’t help but look over at Amara in shock at his calm reaction to all this. The look on her face tells me she is too. He gives a small laugh at our response.
‘Don’t look so surprised. You did the best you could. We all did. Him getting away can’t be helped. I’m just glad my brother found you and kept you safe. Anyway, I was hoping we could do some practising together today. If you feel up to it?’
‘Of course.’ He stands aside with a gesture for me to follow. After a final hug with Amara and a promise to catch up later, I follow him to his office.
∞∞∞
Grayson sits on the floor of his office with his legs crossed and takes off his tie.
‘What are you doing?’ I laugh as he beams up at me.
‘Sit with me,’ he says, tapping the floor opposite. Following his lead, I sit and cross my legs. This is weird.
I notice his eyes drift to my neck and his brow furrows. He glides his finger across his own throat.
‘You’re not wearing the necklace I bought you for Christmas. Do you not like it?’
My hand flies to the place where I know the necklace should really be resting, out of politeness if nothing else. I’m sure it cost a small fortune.
‘No, it’s on my dresser. I just forgot to put it on today. That’s all. But I do love it. It’s gorgeous.’
He accepts my explanation and swiftly moves on to the topic at hand.
‘You seem to be able to control your Telekinesis well. I have a fair few Nomads that can testify to that,’ he says with a chuckle. Not at all acknowledging he killed two for my getting past them. I won’t reveal that I know. It will get Collins in trouble. ‘Would you mind demonstrating it for me?’ He drops his tie between us and I feel the warm surge of my magic when he gives me access through the Bloodstone. I make it rise above our heads and perform little circles and swirls before laying it gently back down.
‘That was remarkably controlled. Well done. Can you do it with your eyes closed?’
‘I can try.’ I close my eyes and feel out for it. When I hear a smash, I open my eyes and see a lamp on the floor by the wall at the other end of the room.
‘Apparently not,’ he says, looking at the pieces on the floor.
‘Shit. Sorry.’
‘No problem.’ He turns back to me. ‘Can I ask you to try and refrain from swearing?’
‘Oh, I didn’t think it bothered you.’
‘It doesn’t really. But you’re so…’ He smiles, ‘Sweet. It doesn’t suit you.’
‘Erm, okay. I’ll try.’
‘Let’s see your fire.’ He carries on. ‘Hold out your hand.’ I lay my palm flat and my fire springs to life, covering my skin.
‘Can you make it a normal colour? The fact that it’s black lets others know that you have suffered a Break. Nothing to be ashamed of, but let’s just see.’
‘How do I do it?’
‘You need to calm yourself. Inside as well as out. Think of a time or a place when you were happy. That should help.’
I look into the fire and try. But it remains the unnatural black and white.
‘Never mind,’ he says kindly. ‘Can you use it to light the fire in my fireplace?’ He scoots over so I have a clear view of the tall grey fireplace and I reach out my hand. It shoots across the room and lands like water thrown from a bucket in the grate but stays put. Extinguishing the fire in my palm, I smile proudly. He nods his approval.
‘So that’s Elemental and Telekinesis down. Well done. We have four other realms to manifest together. Sensativa isn’t something for you to build on, so it’s not something we need to practice. Sight, Energy, Physical and Mental is what we have to focus on. There are a few methods we could try, but usually, it’s raw emotion that kicks it in. Remind me again, you presented Telekinesis first, right? Tell me about it.’
‘I was little,’ I start. He leans back on his hands and listens intently. ‘Maybe four. I was playing in my room when Theo came into the house where my mum, dad and I lived. He was yelling at my mum, trying to get past her to my room, but she wouldn’t let him. He shoved her, and she fell. I remember this sudden pit of fear in my stomach that made it hard to breathe, and when he saw me, a knife from the counter flew across the room straight at him. It cut his face, and while he was trying to get himself together, Mum grabbed me and we ran.’ I remember it clearly. Too clearly. His face, his voice then my terror as I experienced my surge of magic for the first time.
‘So, fear. And your fire came a couple of years ago?’
‘Yes,’ I say uneasily. Oh no, please don’t ask me about that.
‘Tell me about it.’
I inwardly groan and feel my face redden as I look down at my hands. ‘It’s a bit… personal.’
‘Anything you say is between us. I would never tell anyone else, and I won’t judge you for it.’ He rests his hand on my knee. ‘I promise.’ He pulls it away and sits waiting.
‘When Toby knew I was a witch, he became obsessed with teaching me stuff. He would try and get me to make fire, but I told him I couldn’t. He tried different ways to… encourage it.’
‘What methods did he try?’
‘Fear, at first. I told him about what happened with Theo, and he thought it would work again, but I always knew he wouldn’t let anything too bad happen to me, so it didn’t work. Then he tried anger, but that didn’t work either. Getting angry was hard. I thought very little of myself back then. Then he tried…positive encouragement.’
‘Positive?’
‘Sex,’ I say it quickly.
‘So, when your fire manifested, you two were…’
‘I was having…’ I clear my throat and fail to say the word.
‘You were having an orgasm?’ he says sounding nothing more than polite. I nod and continue staring at my hands. This is so embarrassing. ‘Okay. So, fear and pleasure have been your motivators so far. Well, there are other things we can try.’ He reaches into his trouser pocket and pulls out a folded piece of paper. He opens it up and hands it to me.
‘What’s this?’ I ask.
‘It’s a list of motivators. Now, there are a few, and if there are any you don’t want to try then that’s fine, but I thought we could start at the top and work our way down. Fear and pleasure are on there, but the same motivator doesn’t usually trigger multiple manifestations.’
I look through the list.
Meditation. Hypnosis. Joy. Surprise. Pleasure. Sadness. Fear. Anger. Hatred.
And the last one.
Pain.
‘Pain?’ I look at him suddenly feeling very nervous. ‘You want to hurt me?’
‘No. Of course not. These are just the main triggers. I’m going to start with this one first.’ He leans over and points to Meditation. ‘We don’t have the journal yet, so we have time to experiment. I’ll see if I can get your Energy to manifest using meditation. Collins will help you to manifest Physical and Gabriel with Mental. Happy to start today with me?’
‘Okay.’ I refold the paper and hand it back.
He describes what his lightning feels like to use. How it feels crawling on his skin and how he uses what he calls mental willpower to control it. He lets it streak briefly over my hand. It hurts, but not massively.
‘That’s because I wasn’t trying to hurt you,’ he tells me.
‘Can I ask how you manifested your magic?’ I ask.
‘Well, I was five. My mother and father were witches so I knew I would be one too.’
‘Is that how it works? If your parents are witches, their children will be?’
He nods. ‘Two magical parents make a magical child. If a human and a witch have a baby, they will be a human child.’ He leans forward, resting his elbows on his knees. ‘Magic usually manifests with heightened emotions. It can be something as simple as being startled to something big, like fearing for your life. Most witches present young. A child’s emotions are always felt strongly. They feel sadness, joy and anger stronger than adults. Well, Gabriel was maybe a week old and he just would not stop crying. We got hit by a storm. The rain fell and fell. Back then, there were no roads, just dirt tracks, and the only way to leave our village was over this narrow little bridge that went over a wide stream. One night, Gabriel got a fever. There was a medicine woman a mile or so away. On the other side of the bridge. My father was away, so our mother bundled us up on a horse, and we made our way to her. The bridge was washed out. Gabriel was getting worse by the minute. Mother had Energy magic. She reached out and used her lightning to strike down a tree hoping to use it as a bridge, but it missed and fell into the water. I was so afraid. The weather was apocalyptic, and my new little brother was going to die. The tree moved. I wanted it to move, and it did. We got across and to the medicine woman. She treated Gabriel, and he was fine after a couple of days.’
‘You manifested your magic to save his life?’
‘Of course. I’d do anything for my little brother. Consciously or subconsciously. I love Gabriel more than anything. Even if he does give in to whims and flights of fancy all too often without thinking it through.’
‘He does?’
‘Just ask the dozen or so young lady soldiers that used to be stationed in this house.’ He tries to make the comment sound flippant. But I know it’s well placed. ‘Gabriel’s fleeting attention and then his almost instant dismissal of far too many young Nomad ladies has led to many banishments unfortunately.’
‘Banishments?’ I repeat the word quietly, almost too afraid to say it too loudly.
‘Yes. You see, he knows exactly what to say and what to do with the fairer sex. It’s almost magic in itself to witness. They fall in love with him. Almost in an obsessive nature. Then he drops them. On more than one occasion, the spurned lady has turned violent towards him. Stalked him. Become very inappropriate or even attacked his new conquest. These actions have led to several dismissals on their part. Mainly because I can’t very well sack my own brother. I need him. Not just because he’s one of a handful of people with magic but also because he is the only real family I have left. So, you see, that’s why I have forbidden him chasing after you.’ He flashes me a sympathetic smile because I’m sure the look on my face is nothing short of crestfallen. ‘I don’t mean to presume that you and he are anything more than friends. I’ve been assured that you aren’t. But I can’t banish you if it all goes horribly wrong. It’s impossible. You are far too dangerous to face such a cruel and dangerous world on your own. And there are far too many enemies beyond these walls who would gladly see you dead. Toby’s visit, the attacker the night you tried to run away, Theo’s assault at the tree lot…these are just three men of hundreds that would tear the world apart to get their hands on the last Arcane Witch alive. So, if things did get nasty between you two, which they would, believe me, I would have no alternative. I couldn’t send you away. I would have to send Gabriel away, and that would simply break my heart.’
I have to quickly regroup my rampant thoughts so I don’t look like a dumbfounded fool. With a small, insincere shrug and disingenuous nod, I pretend that I understand his reasons. Maybe it’s not acting. Could I really just be another in a long line of women that Gabriel has chased down and dumped? Everyone seems to think so. Amara has been very truthful about his past. Collins too. Even Theo has made similar remarks. What if it’s not his past? What if it’s his pattern? To make girls crazy about him so when he moves on, they’re driven insane by jealousy. I admit the thought of losing him now is a painful concept. A very painful concept. Unbearable in fact.
‘So yes, I know it seems crazy to insist that nothing more than friendship transpires between you two. And it may smack of jealousy.’
Too right, I think to myself.
‘But there is a very serious reason behind it. You have been through enough, and all I want is for you to be happy here. I want this to be a safe place. Not only for you physically, but mentally and spiritually too. The idea of watching you look on as Gabriel continued using women after manipulating your already very fragile heart, causes me pain. That is why I have forbidden it. Can you understand that?’ He looks at me expectantly. What the hell can I say to that?
Nothing. I can’t say a single thing because I’ve already done everything he was afraid of. I’ve slept with Gabriel. I’ve fallen in love with him. And now, perhaps it wasn’t my imagination. Maybe it’s the beginning of the brush-off he seems to favour after successfully getting what he wants. Shit. I’m so confused. And as my brain continues to sift through the mess of self-doubt and worry, Grayson’s watching me keenly. I snap out of my train of inner thought and smile, nodding understandably while my insides squirm with uncertainty.
All of a sudden, he slaps his palms on his knees, making me jump violently.
‘Come on, let’s get to work.’ He makes me sit in an odd pose with my hands cupped together, palms up. He’s very particular about how I should be breathing and what almost every part of my body should be doing.
‘Visualise the power. See the lightning. Feel it on your skin.’
This goes on for a couple of hours. By the end of our session, I’ve come to the conclusion that Grayson’s method, although much more relaxed than Toby’s, won’t work. I remember my manifestations. One driven by the kind of terror only a little girl who’s scared for her mum can muster. The other, sparked by the pleasure only a woman can feel when the person she loves tells her they love her for the first time, while making her body feel absolute passion and pleasure. Grayson wants to use meditation and sheer force of will. It will be a massive waste of time.
He walks me to his office door and opens it like a gentleman.
‘We made good progress today,’ he says. As I unintentionally roll my eyes, he insists with a smile, ‘We did. Honestly. It may not feel like it, but we’re moving in the right direction.
‘If you say so,’ I sigh.
‘I do. Go and get some rest, Lilly. You’ve had a hard few days.’ He continues to hold his easy smile as he gestures for me to head upstairs. As I turn to leave, he takes my arm gently in his hand. I look back at him and once more he’s looking at my neck. He takes his finger and runs it ever so slightly along my clavicle.
‘Wear the necklace I gave you, will you? It will really look stunning on you.’
I nod and step back away from his touch which as ever makes my skin turn to fire.
‘I will,’ I tell him. ‘Thank you for your lesson today.’ I turn and leave him standing in his doorway where he remains watching me until I’m out of sight and heading up the second flight of stairs.
∞∞∞
The sun’s gone down. I watched it set from the sill of my bedroom window with a single headphone in my ear. Gabriel’s iPod gift with an endless stream of music is in my hand.
There’s a slight tap on the door.
‘Come in,’ I call.
It’s Amara. And I’m thrilled to see her. I give her the mother of all hugs, and thankfully, she hugs me back. She seems to have gotten all the yelling out of her system.
I tell her everything that happened. Everything. Both with Toby and with Gabriel
‘You should have told me who he was,’ I tell her.
‘I was under orders not to. And then you told me what he’s done to you, and I couldn’t. I asked Gabriel to tell you. But he said no. I am really sorry.’ She looks so worried as she watches me. ‘Please don’t hate me.’
‘I don’t,’ I sigh. ‘It’s done now. In the grand scheme of things, it doesn’t really matter.’
‘Talking of Toby, he said that he would give you the journal if what…they hand you over to him? Get back together with him? What does he want exactly?’ she asks.
‘He just said he wanted me back. That he’d get me to bring down the veil, but he gets to keep me afterwards. Just being that close to him made me feel dirty. I was so glad Gabriel was there.’
‘So, are you and Gabriel a couple now?’ she asks. She’s been very keen to know all the details of mine and Gabriel’s time together.
‘Not sure,’ I tell her. ‘We’re keeping it very quiet whatever it is, so not a word. Collins knows but other than that-’
‘I get it. I’ll take it to my grave.’
‘I am so sorry that I got you in trouble with Grayson.’
She lets out a long breath. ‘I’m not going to lie, he scared the hell out of me. I thought he was going to use his lightning on me.’
We’re summoned downstairs for food by a Nomad before we can talk anymore.
In the kitchen, Gabriel and Collins are sitting side by side picking at a pizza. I take the seat next to Gabriel thrilled to see him.
‘How was your day?’ I ask.
‘Fine. Yours?’ he says, barely looking up from his pepperoni.
‘Alright. I missed you.’ I go to take his hand, but Hendrix walks in, so I retreat
‘Glad to see you’re in one piece, Little Witch. Going after the little freak alone? Very brave. Did I say brave?’ He pours himself a vodka. ‘I meant stupid.’
‘I don’t remember asking your opinion,’ I reply, taking a slice of pizza. Hendrix laughs and just stands there. Gabriel’s phone goes in his pocket. He glances at the screen and then at me before getting to his feet and leaving to answer.
‘Wonder who that could be,’ Hendrix says with a derisive snort before carrying on drinking his vodka. What does he mean by that?
Gabriel doesn’t come back. I hear the front door open and close. That’s the most interaction I have with him all day. Even Amara seems bemused at his behaviour. I call it a night and head to bed, hoping tomorrow will put him in a better mood. Maybe Grayson was tougher on him than Gabriel’s letting on. Or worse, he’s giving me the brush-off. God damn it, I hate feeling like this.
I decide that I’ll talk to him about it tonight when everyone’s gone to bed. I’ll sneak into his room and make sure he’s okay. I bid goodnight to Amara and Collins and head up to my room. I wait upstairs, watching the door and straining to sense Gabriel. But by three am there’s still no sign. He doesn’t come home all night, and the only sounds I hear are the Nomads on duty as they walk up and down the hall.
‘PLEASE!’ she screams ‘PLEASE STOP!’
But I don’t. I think maybe, I never will.
She keeps screaming. Calling for help. For me to stop.
Her blood is dripping onto my feet. Seeping beneath the thin black straps of my stilettos.
My fingers are knotted in her long blonde hair as I once more lift her head and slam her not so pretty little face onto the cracked and broken mirror on the wall.
She’s already lost two teeth. They’re by my feet.
She tries to untangle my hands. To push herself off from the broken glass that I keep forcing her features into.
But I’m fuelled with anger. With jealousy.
‘I’m sorry,’ she cries. ‘I didn’t know. He didn’t tell me.’
I know that. Of course I know.
But that doesn’t stop me.
I just keep thrusting her fucked up face into the remains of the mirror again and again.
I’ll be damned if she leaves with us tonight. I’ll be damned if I’m forced to share him with another woman.
He’s mine. MINE!
With a final, forceful slam, she closes her eyes and falls limp.
I drop her like the sack of shit she is and watch her lying unconscious,
bleeding and disfigured at my feet.
I wash my hands, dry them with paper towels, step over her and leave the bathroom.
When I reach the exit to the club, I nod politely to the bouncer who smiles and gives me a wink.
The only interest I have is in the man watching me walk towards him with his hands tucked in his pockets and a sly smile.
‘Where’s our friend?’ he asks, looking behind me for the stray tart he picked up inside.
‘She changed her mind,’ I tell him, wrapping my finger in the waist of his black jeans and pulling him closer.
His hands settle comfortably on my hips. ‘Looks like your stuck with just me.’
He leans in and kisses me hard.
‘I’m never stuck with you. Come on, Red, we have another three hours until we need to get you back home before anyone realises your gone.’
‘Where to now?’ Please not to find another blonde to join our party.
‘To a hotel.’
‘Just us?’
‘Just us.’ He wraps his strong arm around my waist and leads me out. ‘By the way,’ he says with a soft laugh. ‘You forgot to clean her blood off your feet.’
‘Morning, Honey.’ I wake to Amara lying beside me in my bed. She’s under my covers and holding two cups of coffee. One she hands to me.
‘How do you manage to sneak in here all the time?’ I laugh.
‘Not hard. You sleep like you’re dead. You know, when you sleep.’
I sit up and rub the sleep from my weary eyes and hopefully the image of that poor young woman I horribly disfigured after she got caught up in the middle of one of Toby’s games. And slap bang in the centre of my angry, violent, possessive rage.
According to the clock, it’s eight am. I got five hours of uneasy sleep.
‘Thanks.’ I drink it down. Strong and hot. Perfect.
‘So… have you spoken to Gabriel yet?’ she asks.
‘No. I haven’t seen him since he left the kitchen yesterday. You?’ She shakes her head. ‘He was a bit off with me yesterday.’
‘He’s probably just trying to make sure Grayson doesn’t suspect anything. Give it a day or two. I’m sure he’ll go back to normal. Talking about Grayson, how’s he been with you?’
‘Super nice actually. I think he’s just relieved Toby didn’t kill me or that I didn’t run off. Yesterday was actually nice. Apart from being ignored by Gabriel,’ I sigh and rest my head on her shoulder. ‘I really hope he hasn’t changed his mind about me. Just my luck. The first man I fall in love with is a psycho and the second man I fall for changes his mind.’
She sits up so fast she spills coffee all over the bed. ‘You love him!’
‘Keep your voice down!’
‘Sorry,’ she whispers. ‘You’re in love with him?’
I’m not ashamed. ‘Yeah. Pretty sure I am. Actually, I’m completely positive I am.’ Her face lights up as she pulls me into a hug.
‘That’s amazing! I’m sure he feels the same. I’m sure of it!’
‘I’m going to tell him. Just be honest and tell him. Fuck it, right? Grayson doesn’t need to know. We can keep it secret. Until the time is right. Right?’
‘Right!’
We drink our coffee snuggled up in bed and then lay under the covers whispering for a while about the men we love. It’s very girly, but lovely. She then heads down to Collins’ bedroom to get dressed.
∞∞∞
Dressed and ready to face the day, I head out into the hall. Closing my bedroom door behind me, I make my way to the stairs. Amara’s on her way back up, singing happily to herself. She was so happy about my revelation, she started making plans for double dates and joint holidays. When she reaches the top of the stairs, I hear Gabriel’s bedroom door open. My spirits lift, and I fill with excitement. I’ve missed him. I take a deep breath and try to contain my grin. This is it. No more fucking about. I’m going to tell him. I’m going to walk straight up to him and tell him in no uncertain terms that I’ve fallen in love with him. That I’m willing to do whatever needs to be done to be with him.
From where I’m standing, I can’t see him. But one look to Amara and I can tell she can. Whatever she sees takes her happy smile, and instead, she turns even more pale than usual. When she spots me, she looks ready to faint. She runs to me, takes my arm and starts pulling me back to my room.
‘Go inside,’ she says desperately. ‘Go back to your room, Honey.’
‘What are you doing?’ I ask, pulling my arm free as she tries to drag me back into my room.
She takes my hand and pleads desperately, ‘Honey, please. Just go back to your room.’ She’s in full panic mode, pulling and tugging at my arm. She looks down at my wrist. ‘Where’s your watch?’
‘I took it off when I showered. I just forgot to…what’s wrong with you?!’ I pull my arm free with a big yank. I don’t like being manhandled and she’s starting to piss me off. She keeps glancing over my shoulder.
‘Amara, what the hell is wrong with you?’
I hear a soft little giggle from behind me. From the direction of Gabriel’s room. Amara closes her eyes in defeat.
‘Oh, Lilly,’ she whispers. ‘I’m so sorry.’
I turn. There at the top of the stairs is Gabriel. But he’s not alone. He’s with Ava.
And they’re together.
She’s in his arms. He’s shirtless and kissing her neck as she playfully laughs. Her hands are all over him. And heartbreakingly, his are all over her. She stands on her tip-toes, and they kiss. He holds her close. It’s passionate. It’s intense.
It’s devastating.
I feel like I’ve been gutted with a carving knife and my insides are spilling out onto the floor. He sees me. The bastard gives me a polite nod and then goes back into his room like he’s not just betrayed me. Like he hasn’t just taken every word he’s ever said to me and turned them into nothing more than meaningless lies used to do precisely what everyone warned me about.
He bedded me. And he’s left me.
Ava lingers at the top of the stairs smirking at me as a tear slides down my cheek. Amara takes my hand which stops me from launching myself at her.
‘Morning, Lilly. Amara,’ she says smugly, tucking her coat under her arm. ‘Lovely day…don’t you think?’ she laughs as she leaves. I hear her all the way down the stairs. Laughing.
Tears continue to stream down my cheeks as Amara tries to talk me into going back to my room. I’m rooted to the spot.
I thought we were together. I thought I meant something to him. But Collins was right. He got what he wanted, and he’s moved on. Back to her. I turn and look at Amara who seems devastated for me.
‘Please. Please tell me I imagined that, Amara. Tell me you didn’t just see that.’
‘Honey…come back inside. He’s not worth a single tear.’
The old me would have turned on my heel, returned quietly to my room and silently cried out of sight. I would have thought that I probably deserved it. That I got the wrong end of the stick.
But not this time.
I look back to his door, and the strangest thing happens.
I get angry. I get really, fucking angry.
