We walk slowly. Purposefully. We’re not hiding. We’re not slipping away into the darkness.
Not this time.
Hand in hand, we step over the unconscious guard at our door and almost straight away we’re spotted by two men. They start backing away from us before turning on their heel and running in the opposite direction yelling for Theo and Jensen.
‘Witch!’ they yell. ‘The witches are free!’
Gabriel’s hand tightens on mine as we look at each other.
‘Ready?’ he asks.
‘Absofuckinglutely,’ I tell him, squeezing his hand with mine.
The camp has filled with panic. People are running in all directions. Some outright flee as others turn and run straight at us. They position themselves. Placing their bodies strategically so we can’t pass. So we can’t escape. We stop and face a wall of men all pointing their guns straight at us.
‘HOLD YOUR FIRE!’ Theo bellows from somewhere behind them. The men make way, parting like a biblical ocean as he walks through, followed closely by Jensen.
Theo laughs when he sees us. He looks nothing more than amused at our sudden appearance. ‘Where do you two think you’re going?’
The magic within me is buzzing with desperation to get out, and his arrogance makes it even more desperate. He grimaces at us and gestures for the men behind him to come closer. Their raised guns point straight at us, but it’s Gabriel that laughs now.
‘Move aside, Theo. You know as well as I do that you won’t shoot us. You won’t kill us.’
I let go of Gabriel’s hand so mine can erupt in fierce black and white fire. Theo eyes it nervously showing me a flicker of doubt. He’s not as confident as he was.
I run through what he can do in my head, or rather, what I saw when he attacked me at the tree lot. Telekinesis and Energy. I have to prepare for those. His hands. That’s where the magic comes from with those realms of power. So as Gabriel watches the men, I don’t take my eyes off Theo’s hands. His left-hand twitches and before I give him the chance to send that agonising lightning our way, I raise my fire covered hand lifting him off the ground and hurling him back into the crowd of people behind him. It feels incredible to be using my magic. And using it against him feels fantastic as I show him a glimpse of what I’m capable of.
‘You owe me two fingers, you arse hole,’ I say viciously as his men lift him back to his feet.
‘I’ll take more than your fingers you little bitch.’ He’s angry, humiliated at being knocked down, and it fuels his attack. He raises his hand and shoots his green lightning at my chest knocking me onto my back before I can react. Winded I roll over and see him charging towards us. Jensen and his men follow suit, yelling and shouting.
Gabriel’s eyes are black as he orders men close by to point their weapons at the oncoming wave of men. Five Traitors turn and raise their guns to their own people. But to my horror, the men running at us just raise their own weapons in retaliation. Gabriel has Jay’s knife in his hand as he helps me get to my feet. My fire’s gone out. I’m not as strong as I would like to be.
‘You alright?’ he asks quickly, stroking and scanning my face for injury. With a nod, we turn back to the fight about to break out in front of us. The five men under Gabriel’s control are standing with their weapons raised. They all tremble and yell at their comrades, their family… to please, stop!
But they don’t.
‘Gabriel…what do we do?’ I ask, clinging to his hand and watching a wave about to crash into a wall.
‘What I must to keep you safe.’ He looks at the men he has under his control. I know what he’s about to do. And I don’t stop him. ‘FIRE!’ he yells. ‘SHOOT TO KILL!’
Gabriel takes my arm and runs to the side away from them, dragging me alongside. The air fills with the sound of gunshots. Countless bullets being fired from dozens of guns echo all around us. Stray bullets splinter trees and pelt the ground around us, but by some miracle, we’re not hit by a single one. I look back over my shoulder. Men start to fall from the wave of Theo’s men charging at Gabriel’s puppets. They continue to charge towards us, merely jumping over their fallen friends. Theo’s men return fire and two of Gabriel’s puppets go down. There are too many of them. I stop and turn. With a wave of my hand, I knock the front line of Theo’s men to the side. But there are so many more behind. I do it again and again. Knocking them over like bowling pins, but for everyone I slow down, another two pick up the pace. I feel the toll of my exhausted body. More men fall as I continue to batter them with my invisible force and Gabriel’s puppets knock down a good few with bullets, but the wave of men just keeps rebuilding.
‘They’re coming, Gabriel!’ I call out as his puppets fall. Theo’s men trample their bodies as they continue to descend on us. Their skulls cave under the heavy footing of the countless men charging over them.
‘Your fire!’ Gabriel calls over the sounds of yelling, screams and rapid gunfire. He still has a tight grip on my arm, and he’s pulling me quickly away from them as they chase us down. ‘Build a wall. block them!’
I stop, skidding to a halt so I can face them. I reach out both my hands and a stream of fire explodes from them. I direct it to the ground which ignites straight away creating a wall of fire. But it’s weak. Barely waist height and maybe fifty feet long. That won’t do anything to stop them. I stagger on my feet as the world spins. Gabriel wraps his arm around my waist and pins me to his body, taking all my weight.
‘You alright?’ he asks, looking between me and the army on the other side of the fire still charging at us.
‘I…I’m too tired. I’m not strong enough.’
The air fills with the sound of more bullets. When one flies between our heads and splinters the tree behind us Gabriel pulls me down. I fall gladly. I need a second to breathe and get my strength. He cups my chin and lifts my face. I see fear in his eyes.
‘We have to run. You’re not strong enough to fight.’
‘I don’t think I can run. My body’s exhausted.’
He turns, fretfully looking beyond my pathetic attempt at a fire barrier.
‘Fine,’ he says gruffly, getting to his feet and hauling me up with him. He scoops me up in his arms. ‘Then I’ll carry you.’
But before he takes even a slight step, we see the most unusual thing. Theo’s men stop dead just before they reach my flames. They turn a complete one-eighty and sprint away.
‘Is that it?’ I ask disbelievingly, watching them flee. ‘This small wall of fire and they give up?’
Gabriel secures me and watches in uncertainty himself.
The air twinges around me. The familiar hum that tells me when magic is close. The men aren’t running away from us. They’re running towards someone else.
‘Grayson…’ I tell Gabriel. ‘He’s here. Collins too. I can feel them.’
I’m not sure what I should feel. Relief? Or fear at his arrival.
‘Are you sure?’ he asks. I nod and he looks exactly as I feel. Conflicted. Unsure.
‘What do we do?’ I ask. ‘Everything he’s done. To you, to me, to Rose…do we stay? Do we leave?’ I make him look at me. I need to see his eyes when I ask. ‘The veil, what do we do?’
‘The veil needs to come down,’ he says quietly as if to himself, his eyes shift a little to the side and he chews his bottom lip. He’s thinking. I can see his thoughts racing a mile a minute behind his eyes which is exactly why I needed to see them. To know what he’s thinking. They return to me and look certain.
‘The veil needs to come down. You won’t be safe until it does. None of us will. Theo won’t stop. Grayson will never let us be as long as it stands and we will never defeat the Hunters without our full strength.’
‘But Theo’s vision…the war…’
‘We will not that happen. No one wants to fight. Not once we get what we need. What we all deserve. Theo’s lying. He has to be.’ He looks me dead in the eye. ‘If the veil stays up it will be a lifetime of running. Fighting. Hiding. For all of us.’
‘Agreed. But what about Grayson?’
‘Let’s just get out of here alive first and then we’ll deal with Grayson together.’ He slides his hands into mine. ‘As a couple. As one. Unbreakable. He won’t split us up. We’ll do the spell and go. Once he has what he wants, he’ll have no interest in us.’
‘What if he follows through on his threat. What if he sends you away?’
‘Then I’ll take you with me, and he can kiss his veil spell goodbye.’
Part of me wishes that we could just do that. Just up and leave. But I know it wouldn’t be that simple. We’d never stop running. We’d be hunted on all sides. Two of the most wanted people in the world. I’m not a hundred per cent convinced that staying is the best idea, but I agree about the veil. It must be destroyed if any of us are going to have a chance at a normal life. I trust him and his plan.
‘Are we agreed?’ he asks. ‘We have to be in this together. All the way.’
‘I’m in. Together. All the way.’
There’s a terrible explosion followed by the screams of men and women. He pulls me down to the ground to keep us both out of the line of fire.
‘I have to go. You stay here-’ He gets to his feet, letting go of my hands but I pull him back down with me, gripping his t-shirt tightly in my fists. I don’t want to let him go.
‘Stay with me,’ I plead.
‘I have to fight,’ he insists, prying my hands away.
‘You go, we may never find each other again. Grayson could send you away. Theo could get one of us. We have to stay together. We have to! Gabriel, please…’ I couldn’t sound more desperate. I am desperate. ‘I’ve only just got you. I can’t lose you.’
‘You’re never going to lose me,’ he says with a comforting smile. He tucks a stray slither of hair behind my ear and rests his palm on my cheek. ‘The devil himself couldn’t separate me from you. Not now you’ve said that you love me. I won’t let you leave, even if you asked me to let you go,’ he grins. ‘I love you. I’d die for you. I’d die without you and believe me, I’ll destroy anyone who tries to separate us.’
‘You mean that?’ I ask, amazed that he clearly loves me enough to sacrifice everything.
‘Absofuckinglutely.’
Despite being in the middle of a battle and surrounded on all sides by multiple threats, I can’t help but smile and pull him in for a kiss which he returns tenfold.
Renewed yelling and increased gunfire fill the air drawing our attention back to what’s happening. In amongst the crowd of men, bodies go flying in all directions and blue lightning streaks all around them knocking Theo’s men down to their knees indiscriminately. Grayson’s coming. I can feel him getting closer and although I’m relieved for the help, I’ve never been more anxious.
‘You stay here,’ Gabriel says with a kiss on my cheek. ‘Stay safe. I’ll be back for you.’ He lets me go and turns back to join the fight.
‘No!’ I pull him back and hold his face with my bloody hand. ‘I’m coming with you. I’m fighting,’ I insist.
‘Your body is too weak. You’ve been through too much. You go into that fight, you won’t come out.’ He rests his hand on my cheek. ‘I need you safe.’
‘I’m safer with you. Gabriel, please!’
‘You’re exhausted. You can’t-’
‘Then make me strong,’ I tell him. ‘Compel me. Give me the strength I need. I won’t resist you.’ He shakes his head, a deep frown on his brow. ‘Gabriel Kendryk, you do as I’m asking and you do it now! I won’t stay here and hide. I won’t do nothing. I want to fight. I need to be by your side.’
He looks conflicted, but finally, he gives a small nod. He gives me what I ask for. As he always has. He trusts me.
His eyes go black.
‘Lilly. Fill your body with adrenaline. Release it as quick as it’s created. You send it through your body, to your muscles. Pain and tiredness will not stop you. Your muscles may want to give up. You may want to fall down. You may want to stop, to give up, to sleep, but you won’t. Your magic is strong. You’re filled with strength. You won’t stop fighting the enemy until you’re safe.’
‘How will I know when I’m safe?’ I ask. I feel strange. Like I’m in a daydream. All I know is that I must obey his words. It’s all that I know. His words are law. Gods law. I must obey.
‘When I tell you that you are,’ he says, pulling me in for a loving, possessive kiss. As he does, I feel the adrenaline he’s ordered to fill me course through my body. My heart races. My breath quickens. I feel like I could tear the trees up from their roots with my bare hands. The wall of fire triples in height and burns hotter. When we break our embrace, his eyes are back to their usual, stunning blue.
We turn and run back to the fight. I make a break in the fire and we sprint through it. Theo sees us and starts coming at us. I send my fire streaking through the air straight at him making him barrel roll out of the way. I do it again, throwing it at him over and over so he can’t get to his feet. Gabriel runs at him and slams his fist into his face. As he draws his fist back for another attack, Theo raises his hand, propelling Gabriel backwards into a tree. He’s barely hit the ground when he’s set upon by three Traitors. Theo gets to his feet and starts charging towards him. He can’t fight them all. I run and plant my feet firmly between them as Gabriel gets back to his feet and fights his attackers. My hands are flaming. My body filled with forced adrenaline and all I can think about is causing Theo as much pain as I can while keeping the man I love safe.
He smirks at me with intense hatred.
‘You’re in my way, girl.’
‘You’re not getting anywhere near him,’ I state, like some fierce warrior.
‘I thought you had more morality than this. After everything he’s done, and you still fawn at his feet.’
‘Stop talking, Theo. You don’t know your son. You have no idea who he is. And you pretending to be the hero? It’s boring me.’ I raise my hand, fire ready to fly as he raises his electrified hand.
‘Let’s do this, little girl. You and me. Let’s see who comes out on top.’
Before either of us can do anything, someone else gets to him first. Theo goes stock still and starts juddering violently as blue lightning, not his green lightning, streaks all over him. It shoots over the entirety of his body making him judder and fall to his knees. His eyes roll into the back of his head, and he slumps onto his side unconscious.
Behind him, is Grayson. He looks at his father who lays at his feet and scoffs.
‘I come out on top,’ Grayson says to the unresponsive heap. ‘Always.’
He lowers his hand slowly, the lightning fading and he turns his glare to me. He looks angrier than I’ve ever seen him before. Around us, the Nomads and the Traitors are fighting. Guns and fists. Knives and axes. Anything and everything is being used as a weapon, and yet Grayson pays no mind. His eyes are on me. And now I know what he is capable of, what he wants with me, I feel nothing but distrust, sickening dislike and an overwhelming need to protect Gabriel from him.
Gabriel floors the final of his assailants and runs to me. He’s so worried about my safety, that he’s missed some injury to me as he fought off his attackers, he hasn’t noticed his brother. As he strokes my face, runs his hands down my arms and asks me over and over if I’m okay, I can’t stop watching his brother who surveys every one of his touches. Gabriel finally notices my distraction and turns to look. He sees Grayson and his palpable anger. All three of us are stuck in this triangle of tension. Grayson turns suddenly and hurls his fist into a nearby Traitor’s face. He turns his back on us and continues to fight. His lightning is shot skilfully through the multitude of battling bodies, and he hurls men and women through the air like leaves in a breeze. Gabriel and I share a look of unease.
Some of Theo’s men turn away from Grayson and the Nomads and instead turn on us. I spin Gabriel so he can see the danger coming straight at us.
‘Stay here, Beautiful.’
Gabriel pulls out the knife and turns to fight them off. Running straight at them leaving me behind. Theo’s on the floor not moving, but soon he’s joined by Jensen who shakes him awake. Theo’s disorientated, but not for long. He and Jensen are both on their feet and looking straight at me in an instant.
‘Shit.’
I go to run towards the Nomads. To Gabriel. To anyone on my side. But with the first step I take, Theo raises his hand. I’m slammed by what feels like a sledgehammer that hurls me through the air backwards. I land ten feet away on my back, winded and sore. The pain doesn’t matter. I can’t let it. I force myself to my feet, not giving into the hurt. I see them both walking straight at me with a clear focus. They’re going to take me down. Nothing is going to get between them and their target.
Me.
I raise my hand to use my fire, but Theo’s too fast and I’m too weary. Despite Gabriel’s compulsion, which without, I’m sure I would be a floppy heap on the floor. I’m hurled another ten feet back, slamming hard into the ground and rolling another few feet from the force of his attack. They’re still coming towards me. They haven’t broken or slowed their descent one bit. I get to my knees, but again I’m hurled backwards. Another full-frontal slam of energy which has me spinning a full three-sixty and landing face down in the dirt. They’re separating me from them. Getting me as far away as possible from anyone who would help me.
I’m winded. Exhausted. Terrified. I cough and gasp as I roll over. I look up at the tree canopy overhead as Theo and Jensen tower over me.
‘Well, hello there,’ Theo muses cruelly. ‘Here. Let me help you up.’ He wraps his hand around my throat and lifts me clear off the ground. My feet hover inches above the mud and slush as I kick out. I can’t breathe! He tightens his grip. My brain feels like it’s going to explode from the pressure. I claw at his hands as I fail to get any sort of breath.
‘THEODORE!’
He turns with me still in his grasp. Grayson hurls a streak of blue lightning straight at him. It hits him square in the chest and makes him lose his grip on my throat. I fall to the floor and scramble away as fast as I can, still gasping for air.
‘Get your hands off my Witch,’ Grayson warns.
Jensen helps Theo get to his feet.
Theo turns to Grayson and opens his arms wide and laughs loudly.
‘If you want her, son… you’re going to have to get through me!’
‘Not a problem, father.’
Streaks of lightning start flying in all directions as Theo and Grayson hurl it at each other. A mix of the brightest blues and the starkest greens light up the darkness. Behind them, Gabriel’s eyes are black, and men are screaming in pain letting him punch, kick and snap necks.
‘GET ME THE HOOPER WITCH, JENSEN!’ Theo’s voice calls over. He’s locked in a vicious battle with Grayson who won’t let him past. Every attempt he makes to get to me, Grayson thwarts. And it’s driving Theo mad.
Jensen has started walking towards me. Behind him, a dozen armed men have turned in my direction. Traitors. And they’re coming straight for me. I push myself to my feet still struggling to get a good breath and ready myself. Gabriel appears from the mass of people and throws himself between us.
‘You want her, you’ll have to get through me,’ he warns Jensen.
Through the crowd, Collins joins him. ‘And me,’ he says, standing side by side with his best friend.
‘Very well,’ Jensen says darkly. ‘I have no problem making you bleed, Gabriel. You have no idea how much I want to hurt you.’ Jensen raises his hand high in the air. When he lowers it, the men behind him charge. And so does he.
But Collins and Gabriel…they’re unbelievable! Every hit, stab, kick, duck or weave is perfect. They’re deadly weapons on their own without need of guns or magic. But with Collin’s added strength, his punches are killers. One Traitor falls and his head is at a one eighty-degree angle. They stop some from getting to me. But not all. A few men get past and start running straight at me. Soon I can’t see anyone I know. Just the enemy and they’re all coming for me with Jensen front and centre.
My brain kicks in. I get ready to fight. But Jensen stops. He almost skids, he stops so fast. Suddenly, he looks afraid, but it’s not me he’s looking at. It’s something, or someone, behind me.
‘You…’ Jensen whispers.
‘Me,’ the voice behind me says. A voice that has me spinning so fast I feel dizzy. I stop dead when I see who it is. His malicious grin and confident stance have me stock still in shock.
‘Hey, Red,’ he says coolly. ‘Need a hand?’
Toby looks past me to Jensen and his men. His sly grin twists into a menacing grimace as he pushes me behind him and releases a powerful surge of black and white flames twice as intense as anything I could ever produce. Jensen’s reflexes are remarkable as he dives out of the way. Fire explodes from Toby wave after wave after wave, pulsing from him in a ferocious attack, knocking down the men coming at us and burning them alive. I hear their screams of horror and agony as it slams into them over and over. Toby laughs a low, cruel laugh as he watches them burn before slowly turning to me. My eyes flick between the charred, still alive, still screaming men behind him. And at the man himself.
Slowly, confidently and with a carefree swagger, he walks towards me. I’m so shocked at his sudden appearance that I just stumble backwards in silence. My back hits a tree, and still, he descends on me until I’m all but pinned. He reaches out and runs his finger along my cheek and to my mouth.
‘My Red. My girl.’ He smiles dreamily, distantly, like his mind is somewhere else. He looks at the lip he traces his finger along, then down at the rest of my body. That wanton glint sparking in his eye as his face is illuminated by the flames still devouring Theo’s men. Suddenly, his eyes flick up to mine, and he gives a small laugh.
This is bad. Very bad. I know the motives of everyone here. I know who wants to help me. Who wants to hurt me. But Toby…knowing what he wants is impossible. An environment like this? A war zone, a battle of magic and weapons…he’ll be loving every second. He’s in his element. Where most men would wince at the sight of a man slowly burning to death, he would watch in wonderment.
‘W-what are you doing here?’ I breathe, watching every single one of his movements.
‘I came for you. Of course.’ He taps my lower lip playfully and smiles. ‘You want that journal, right? Rebecca’s journal?’
He’s in no rush. He’s not concerned one bit by his surroundings. His entire focus is on me as I continue to try and back up. But my back is flush against a great oak. I turn, ready to run but he slams his hand by my head, placing his palm on the bark. I can’t get past, and I know better than to try. He steps closer as I shrink back. I watch the reflection of his fire in his lilac eyes that survey me with deep interest. His face is in mine. An easy smile on his lips. Everything that’s happened tonight and only now do I cower. Only now am I truly afraid. The fight may as well be a million miles away. I swear, I can’t even hear it anymore. All I can hear is his breathing which is slow and steady. All I can see are the playful intentions swimming behind his eyes. As always, when he was with me, the rest of the world disappears. It’s only us. But before, it was sensual. Intoxicating. Obsessive.
Now, I’m paralysed with fear.
‘Come with me,’ he purrs in my ear, leaning in and running the tip of his nose along my jaw. ‘Come with me right now, Red, and I’ll give it to you.’ His pale eyes stare straight into mine. ‘Come with me and I’ll give you the journal. If you don’t, I’ll hand it over to Theo in exchange for my safety during his spell and everyone you know will die.’ He slides his hand in my hair. ‘Tick tock, Red.’
I look over at the battle. They’re still fighting, and the fire has caused untold casualties. I can’t see anyone I know. No Gabriel. No Collins. No one. Just bodies on the floor and strangers fighting each other.
‘Well?’ Toby asks. ‘What’s it gonna be?’
∞∞∞
Toby has my hand firmly in his as he pulls me after him. We run through trees, over fallen logs and wade through a stream. Only when the sound of everyone else is far in the distance does he slow and finally stop. My legs buckle and I fall struggling to catch my breath. I’ve been tortured and not slept. I’ve had a physical and emotional marathon. That sprint has just taken every last ounce of energy I had left. If I wasn’t under Gabriel’s compulsion, I might very well be unconscious.
Gabriel. The mere thought of him back there has my heart in knots. Is he okay? Does he know I’m gone? If he’s worried about me, he won’t focus on what’s happening around him.
I need to push those thoughts out of my head. I’m with the most dangerous man in the world right now. I need every ounce of my focus on him. I need to get the journal and get away from him, back to Gabriel. I’m a fool if I think for even a second that Toby will willingly hand it over and let me leave.
Toby kneels beside me as the rain continues to fall.
‘You okay?’ he asks, his voice seemingly concerned but I know better. He doesn’t do concern. It’s a lie. A manipulation. Just like everything that comes out of his mouth.
‘I need a second,’ I pant, falling forwards so my hands are in the mud. Every breath I take in burns my starving lungs. No inhale is big enough as I gasp and wheeze. When he places a gentle hand on my back and starts slowly rubbing it, I go rigid before hastily shoving him off. He falls back and lands on his arse still watching me.
‘A thanks for saving my life may be nice,’ he says petulantly.
‘Don’t touch me,’ I warn. ‘Don’t you dare touch me, Toby. Ever.’ I’m making that clear now.
I sit up, wipe the hair from my face and look at him. His white hair is soaking from the rain. He’s out of breath, just like me. Seeing those Lilac eyes this close makes me uneasy. All I want is to turn and run. But he has the journal, and I need to make sure that I keep it as far away from Theo as possible. And him away from Gabriel.
‘Where’s the journal?’ I demand, my erratic breathing beginning to calm.
‘Manners.’
‘Fuck my manners. Where is it, Toby? Or should I call you Bias?’
His eye twitches like it always did just before he would lose his temper. A small tick that I picked up on quickly when we were together. I would back down, apologise for whatever action or word had caused the twitch and hope that he would let it pass without punishment. But that was then.
‘My name is Toby. Bias is long dead.’
‘Where is it?’ I repeat.
‘Give me a kiss, and I’ll tell you,’ he replies with a smart grin.
I don’t have time for this. The man I love is fighting a war. Collins too. They’re all I have, and I won’t sit here playing games with my psychotic ex as they risk their lives.
‘It doesn’t have to be on the mouth,’ he says, raising his eyebrows suggestively. ‘No one kisses me like you do.’
I lose it completely and lunge at him, pinning him to the ground with a leg either side of his waist and start searching all his pockets. Toby just laughs and lets me look, his hands up in a condescending surrender.
‘If you want to tear my clothes off, all you have to do is ask, Red. I’m more than up for a bit of rough and tumble with my best girl.’
I slap his face hard making him laugh more.
‘WHERE’S THAT DAMN JOURNAL YOU VILE PIECE OF SHIT?’ I yell in his face. I keep searching. Looking in his inside jacket pockets, the waistband of his trousers, but it’s not here. I slam my fists into his chest. ‘LIAR!’ I thump them into him again and again. ‘GIVE ME THE JOURNAL, TOBY! TELL ME WHERE IT IS!’ I’ve lost control of my anger and I just keep hitting. My bloody hand is screaming at me to stop, but Gabriel’s compulsion makes me not give a damn. My anger and hurt are much stronger than a simple bit of pain.
He rolls over quickly. I scream as he throws me to the floor and pins me beneath him.
‘Calm down, will you?’
‘Get the hell off me,’ I warn with complete venom.
He looks down at me, the rain dripping off him and onto me. As I lay beneath him, that sly grin on his face gets wider. His fingers tighten around my wrists which he has held up by my head.
‘Like old times,’ he says seductively, pressing his hips between my legs.
‘You have three seconds to get off me Toby or-’
‘Or what?’ he asks, leaning down to my face so his nose rests against mine. He slides his hands from my wrists into my palms and entwines his fingers with mine. I wince as he touches the fingerless hand, but he doesn’t pay any attention. He knows it hurts. He presses his fingers over the still bleeding wound and waits for me to react. But I don’t. I won’t plead with him to release me. Pleading never worked. Never.
‘I just saved you, and all you have for me are threats?’
I don’t fight. I just lay beneath him knowing that I’m more likely to get answers if I’m the little compliant thing he knew.
I relax the anger I feel on my face, slow my breathing, look him deep in the eye with as much fake passiveness as I can muster and say sweetly, ‘Thank you for saving me, Toby.’
‘You are very welcome,’ he says. ‘Now, about that kiss…’
I reach up and push my lips against his quickly for a kiss that lasts less than a second. There. That’s all he’s getting. Even that small bit of contact feels beyond familiar and the old me, the girl he made in his image, rears her head.
Wouldn’t it be easier just to give him what he wants? You know there’s no point fighting him. You never could say no.
But I tell her to fuck off. I push her back down deep inside where I hope she stays. I’m not that girl anymore.
‘Humph. Well, that was a bit shit,’ he grumbles, but thankfully he sits and pulls me with him, not pushing for another.
He straddles me with my legs between his. One of his arms snake around my waist as the other sweeps the hair I have plastered on my face out of my eyes.
‘Damn, I’ve missed you. You’re even more beautiful than I remember,’ he purrs, tracing his thumb across my lower lip. Him calling me beautiful feels wrong. Ridiculous. That’s not his word. It’s Gabriel’s. But I hold his eye contact and remain placid. He pulls me closer by the arm he has wrapped around my waist and I have to fight the urge to slam my forehead into his nose.
‘What have you got yourself into, huh? I leave you alone and you end up in the snake pit. It’s alright. I’m here now,’ he speaks as if he’s my hero. My saviour. Rescuing me from a situation I was silly enough to get myself into and only he’s smart enough to get me out of. ‘I want a real kiss,’ he says, looking at my mouth. But it’s never just a kiss with him. He won’t let it go. If he wants to kiss me, he will. And if he refuses to tell me what I want to know until he gets it, then he won’t say a word about the location of the journal. So instead of prolonging the inevitable, I lean in and his lips touch mine. His lips move slowly. Gently. I stare at him with my eyes open and kiss him back. Barely. Hoping to keep him calm and at ease enough to tell me what I need to know. Praying all the while that I don’t throw up. I tell myself not to hit him. Not to push him off. To just let him do this in the vague hope it gets me what I need. His hand slides under my top and his skin meets mine. I can’t help it. I flinch. The familiar pain that comes with unwanted touch explodes. He stops in an instant and opens his eyes.
‘Did you just flinch?’ he asks, menace clear in his voice. ‘I’ve touched every part of you. I’ve made you feel absolute pleasure and now…you dare flinch?’ He stares straight into my eyes. ‘You’re playing me. You don’t want to kiss me at all.’
He’s not buying the act. I don’t blame him. I never was a good liar, and he could always read me so well.
‘I need that journal, Toby,’ I tell him, hoping perhaps reason will work. That perhaps, if he does love me still, he will help me because that’s what I need. ‘Please. My life depends on it. I need that journal.’
He grins his nasty grin and slides his hand up, cupping me beneath my top. His eyes close as he loses himself in the feel of me despite knowing full well the reaction I’m having. I feel sick to my stomach. Violated.
‘Come with me and your life won’t depend on it,’ he says with a deep longing as if it’s that simple. That tone would have me bending to his will every time a few years ago. The idea that he needed me. The idea that a man this sexy, this powerful and this intense would need me was everything to me. He didn’t care about anyone. No one mattered. No one registered on his radar. He honestly didn’t give a damn who was hurting or why. Except me. For a girl who had been unloved and unwanted since the age of five, that was powerful. Hell, on some level, it still is.
But now, I’m able to hear it for the lie it is. The manipulation. I was weak. An easy target. A powerful weapon he wanted to mould. Recreate in his own image. I know that now. I just have to keep telling myself that.
‘Come back to me, Red. And I swear no one will ever get close enough to hurt you again.’
But they will. He will. And being away from Gabriel would kill me. My heart wouldn’t survive.
I lower his arm and push it out from under my clothes, all the while never looking away from his face.
‘I’m not going anywhere with you,’ I tell him firmly. ‘I would rather die.’
‘Tone…Red.’
‘You don’t frighten me anymore, Tobias.’
His grin turns to a sneer. It’s as familiar to me as all his other expressions. His arm stiffens as I try to push it away. I have to settle for keeping it an inch from my body.
‘My name is Toby,’ he says. ‘And I still frighten you.’
‘You said that you would give me the journal if I came with you. I’m here. Now give me the journal.’ I shove him in the chest. ‘And get the fuck off me.’
‘What’s wrong with you?’ His tone is chilling. ‘How dare you speak to me with such disrespect.’
‘I never dared to speak to you how I really wanted to speak to you. I never had the conviction or self-worth to tell you how I truly felt about all those things you did to me. But now I do because the person who loved you, the person who needed you, craved you…she isn’t here anymore. Inside this body is someone new. And she doesn’t need anyone but herself.’
Damn it, Lilly, stop shaking!
‘Oh yeah? And what about Gabriel?’ he says through his teeth. His jaw’s clenched and his eyes more dangerous than I’ve ever seen.
‘I don’t need Gabriel,’ I tell him. ‘I want Gabriel. And that alone makes him mean more to me than you ever did.’
Suddenly, he reaches out and wraps his fingers in my hair, yanking my head back hard.
‘You even hint that you’re leaving me for another man, I will kill you. Do you understand me?’
I don’t fight. I don’t panic. His grip isn’t tight, nothing more than a warning. One sign of weakness and I’m done for. That’s what he likes. What he loves. The fear he evokes in others. Watching them beg and plead for him to show mercy is an aphrodisiac. So, he never shows them mercy. He would never ease up. I stare back into his angry face defiant and unbothered.
‘You’ve known him a matter of weeks. Me and you…we have years of-’
‘I’m not interested in hearing what you have to say. Me and you? Whatever we were, we’re done. Anything I had that resembled love for you, is dead. And it’s never coming back. So kill me, or get. The fuck. Off me.’
‘How dare you,’ he growls keeping his hand exactly where it is. ‘How dare you talk to me like this. After everything I’ve done for you, you ungrateful-’
‘Everything you did for me? You ruined my life!’ How is he so delusional about what we were? About how he treated me?
‘I saved your life,’ he argues. ‘You were hanging from a tree when we met. If it weren’t for me, you’d be dead.’
‘And because of that, you think you own my life? You think it’s yours to do with as you like? Just because you saved my life, does not make it yours.’
‘You had no life before you met me so don’t pretend otherwise. You longed to be wanted. For someone to care, and I did. I still do!’
‘You cared?’ I laugh in his face. ‘You manipulated me. Abused me-’
‘Abused you?’ he says shocked.
‘Yes! What you did to me was abuse. I just didn’t know any better. But I do now. I thought you loved me.’
‘I did. I do!’
‘No. You didn’t. I know what love is now, and what you and I had…it most certainly wasn’t love.’
‘You know what love is now?’ he repeats my words darkly. ‘Are you telling me you love him?’
‘His name’s Gabriel.’ I see the hatred he has for the man whose name I just said, but that just spurs me on. ‘And yes. I love him. Very much. He’s a hundred times the man you are.’
‘Is that right…’ he says menacingly with narrowed eyes. He’s started to shake with anger. ‘I tell you that he’s the reason I Broke. Theo tells you that he brainwashed your ancestor into sleeping with Grayson. He fucks another woman when he’s with you and you still fall for his lies? Are you that desperate to be loved?’
‘How do you know that?’ I ask quickly.
‘Know what?’ His grip on me eases in his momentary lapse of concentration. He’s slipped up, and he knows it. I manage to push him off with a large shove and scramble to my feet in a hurry. He, on the other hand, slowly gets to his feet. His fists are clenched, and I can see he’s struggling to hold his temper.
‘How did you know that Theo told me about Rose? That Gabriel slept with another woman?’ I hear the anger in my voice. I step forwards, and he surprisingly steps back. I guess he’s not used to me fighting back.
‘Are you working with Theo? Have you sunk so low as to side with a man that wants to kill every single Descendant on the planet except those he deems fit to save?’ I look around half expecting Theo to appear. But he doesn’t. No one does. It’s just us. ‘Answer me, Toby. How do you know all that?’
‘I’m not working with Theo. Yet. But unless you start behaving, I will. I’ll give Theo the journal, and you. I swear it.’
We glare at each other. Both emanating hatred and anger. He sighs and ruffles his hair before turning and showing me his back. I watch his shoulders rise and fall as he takes a deep breath. When he looks back to me, he seems more relaxed. In control.
‘Red, this is getting nasty. I don’t want to fight with you. That’s not what I came here for.’ He walks back to me, removing any space between us and takes my hand. Looking deep into my eyes he says, ‘I came here to take you somewhere safe. No one matters to me like you. No one is as important to me as you.’
‘Only because I’m the Arcane,’ I retort.
‘No. Not because you are the Arcane. Because you’re you. I know I’ve said and done some things. Bad things, but you know what I’m like when I lose my temper. I can’t help it. You shouldn’t push my buttons. You know better than that. Look at me. Can’t you see how much I love you? How much I need you? I’ll die without you.’
That charm used to get me every time. He usually pulled it out after he did something particularly cruel.
‘How do you know those things?’ I ask again, ignoring his blatant attempt to win me over. That fake smile goes as quick as it came. As I knew it would. I wish I had this clarity back when we were together. ‘If you’re not working with Theo, you must have been listening to us when me and Gabriel were in the tent to know those things.’ I push his hand away as it all starts to make sense. ‘You were, weren’t you? You were hiding outside the tent! Did you stand there and listen as Theo cut off two of my fingers?’ I brandish my wounded hand in his face. He looks at the stubby mess and scoffs, making me angrier. ‘Did you laugh as I screamed? Huh?’ I shove him again when he laughs. ‘You hid out of sight like a coward as we suffered when you could have helped us! Didn’t you?’
‘Yes,’ he replies heartlessly. It angers me that that upsets me.
‘Why?’
‘Because you needed to see that no matter what Gabriel says to you, he can’t protect you. Not like I can!’
‘Protect me,’ I scoff, shaking my head. ‘You never have and you never will.’
‘That’s a load of shit!’
‘Is it? I saw the photos of me as a child that you took. You knew I was in that house for years. Malcolm told me.’ He goes to argue. ‘I don’t want to hear it. I know that you knew I was there. And that you just left me there until I was old enough for you not to become a paedophile before you started your sick idea of courtship. The only reason you looked at me twice was because you knew I was a Hooper witch. The Arcane.’
‘That’s not true-’
‘When I asked for your help the night you left me. Where did you go? Because if you loved me, if you wanted to protect me, you would have taken me away from that hell hole my uncle had me in. Instead, you abandoned me and I lost everything. I lost you. Her. Six weeks of my life. And then, I lost two years rotting in my uncle’s cellar. Alone. So where was your protection then? Where was your love?’
‘I thought you were dead!’ he insists. ‘As soon as I knew you were alive and at The Orchard, I came for you. I came on Christmas night and saw you with him!’
‘You came for me? You wanted to bloody kill me!’
‘Only when I saw you with him! I’m the only one that truly loves you. Me. You belong to me, Red. No one else. Gabriel doesn’t love you! Gabriel will never care about you the way I do.’ His words tumble out of his mouth at a rapid, desperate and angry pace. I’m not interested in hearing about how he loves me. I don’t give a damn how he feels or what he thinks. I need answers, and it’s obvious he’s deflecting.
‘Harry found out about us,’ I continue, not letting him change the subject. ‘He was furious with me. You came back. I had a bloody nose and a bruised eye. Harry had broken my wrist. I told you everything. I told you he knew about us. You saw my bruises. I told you…’ my words start to get stuck in my throat because this is where the pain, the real pain in my life lies. ‘I told you what he wanted to do to me. I begged you for help. Pleaded with you to get me out of there before he could carry out his threats. But instead of helping the woman you claimed to love, you went mad. You trashed my room and left saying you were done with me. That it was my fault. That whatever Harry did, I would deserve.’
‘I…I made a mistake,’ he says. For the first time ever, I see a hint of sadness in his eyes. I hear remorse in his voice, but it’s too late for that now. I live with that every day. And so should he. ‘What else do you remember?’ His eyes keep flickering between me and his feet.
I shrug angrily, tears joining the rain that streams down my face.
‘I woke up six weeks later locked in the cellar with these.’ I lift my top, showing him the two ugly scars on my stomach. He looks at them for only the briefest of seconds before diverting his eyes back to mine once more. I see that sadness take root and grow.
‘What happened in those missing six weeks, Toby? What happened to us? Why did you leave and not come back? Why did I kill those men? Why do I have these scars?’
‘If I tell you. If you know what happened, you can never un-know it, Lilly.’
I can count on one hand how many times he’s used my real name. The first was when he discovered the truth about Ryan. The second was when he first saw the full extent to which Harry would beat me. As I laid on my bed face down and my bloody back exposed to the air, he washed the cuts clean and comforted me through the pain. The third was the night he left me, and the fourth was now when he’s getting ready to tell me why.
He lifts his face and I shudder as his whole body slumps making him look vulnerable. It’s an entirely foreign set of emotions to see on him, and it makes me terrified. What story could he have to tell that would make a man like this look so broken? What could make him this lost?
‘Are you sure you want to know?’ he asks.
I nod, unable to speak.
‘I did come back for you,’ he admits.
‘You did?’
‘Of course I did,’ he says sincerely, locking his gaze with mine. ‘When you told me…what you told me. I panicked. It wasn’t my finest moment I know that, but there was a reason why I left-’
‘You’re a coward, that’s why you left.’ There’s no reason good enough to hear why he abandoned me when I needed him most. None.
‘Maybe,’ he says before nodding ‘Yes. I was a coward but after a night fighting with myself and facing some hard truths, I came back to your uncle’s house. I came back for you. Ready to face my responsibilities. I was going to do the right thing by you.’
‘And then what happened? When you came back for me?’ I ask nervously.
‘I took you away. Just as you asked. We left together in the dead of night with what little you owned. Your mother’s necklace and your Brothers Grimm book,’ he hesitates. ‘But…’
‘But what?’
‘Well, something wasn’t right. I thought you’d be happier than you were. But you just sunk into yourself. Locked yourself away. I took you to a little cottage and for the first three days, you refused to come out of the bathroom. I had to sleep on the floor with you because you wouldn’t leave. You were terrified. Absolutely terrified. Worse than I’d ever seen you. I planned to take you abroad, but I needed cash. More than I had on me. I left to fetch it and asked my friends to watch you. Men who wanted me as their leader. Not Grayson. Men I trusted. I went back to The Orchard and stole the money I needed. I left you safe and sound, fast asleep. But when I came back, you’d gone.’
‘Gone? Gone where?’
‘Home,’ he says. ‘You’d left to go back to Harry’s.’
I can’t help but scoff at his words. At his version of events. At his lies.
‘You’re telling me that instead of staying with you, a man I loved. Instead of going to a whole new country with you to start over, I went back to a man who had abused me my whole life? Who wanted to deal with me like he would his dog? I would never have gone back. Never.’
‘You did. You bloody did go back!’ he insists, annoyed that I would dare call him a liar. ‘You left me a note. A goddamn note, Red. That’s how you broke it off with me.’
‘I would never have gone back there, Toby. Not after I knew what Harry was planning.’ I’m positive. He’s lying. But the solemnness of his expression, the lack of argument…he can’t be telling the truth. Can he? ‘What did this note say exactly? What possible reason would I give to go back willingly?’
‘The note you left me said that you were afraid of a lot of things in life. But terrified, of two. Just two. The first was losing control of your magic. Of losing yourself and hurting innocent people. You said that being out in the world which was full of too much uncertainty was too much of a risk. That the person you were when you were with me, was too much of a risk. And then you wrote that the second thing that terrified you, was-’
‘Hunters,’ I finish his words because I know what terrifies me most. The mere idea of ending up in the hands of the sadistic humans that called themselves Hunters was the main reason I stayed at my uncle’s. The other was that I knew I couldn’t control myself. Just ask my dead mother.
‘You thought that we would be caught and taken to the Hunter’s cells. We all know what that means for people like us. For Witches. It’s a fate worse than death. You knew that, and you couldn’t face it. It’s why you locked yourself up in the bathroom. You were convinced they would find us. It was like Stockholm syndrome or something. You didn’t want to be free!’
‘But I still wouldn’t have gone back. Why would I go back there when I knew what Harry was going to do? Why would I go back?’
‘You wanted to go back because deep down you thought he was right. Because you didn’t want her to suffer as you had suffered. Because every night you prayed never to wake up. You prayed to die in your sleep, peacefully, rather than spend another day living in fear. And every morning, you wished that you had never been born. And you couldn’t stand the thought of her ever feeling the way you felt. You said that you couldn’t do that to her and that you wouldn’t let her end up in the hands of Hunters.’
‘I saw what happened in the barn. I saw myself kill those men!’
‘You remember the barn?’
‘Bits. What happened.’
‘Oh God. I hoped you hadn’t remembered that.’
‘Why? What did you do?’
He shakes his head. ‘It’s what you did, Red. You won’t be able to live with it.’
‘Tell me.’
He sighs, and spills. ‘When you left, my men called me. We chased after you and caught you. I had to knock you out. You wouldn’t listen to reason! But you kept waking up and using your magic against us. We got caught in a bad storm. We took shelter in that bloody barn. You woke up.’ He looks at me warily.
‘Tell me.’
‘You slaughtered them. You knocked me out. You killed my men as they tried to look after you. And you went back to Harry. Willingly. And you let him do the procedure. Willingly. Those scars are cuts he made so you could never…Lilly…you can never have…Christ. I’m so sorry to tell you all this.’
‘No…’ I whisper as grief and shame overwhelm me as I finally hear the truth. ‘Please tell me you’re lying.’
‘I’m not. You went back-’
‘No.’ I shake my head and start to back away, like I can in some way escape the truth. Make him the liar. Keep him the coward. For every step I take back, he takes one forwards. As I shake my head, he nods. ‘No’ I repeat, pleading with him for it not to be true.
‘Yes. I wanted to take you away. I wanted to give you a life. Both of you, a life.’
‘You’re lying.’
‘I’m not.’
‘YOU ARE!’ I scream. My magic seeps out unchecked making the stones around us dance across the ground and the thick trunks of the trees groan as they bend and shake. He pays no mind, keeping his full attention on me.
‘I’m not lying to you, Lilly,’ he says in a complete calm. ‘You want to know who was responsible for her death? Who had killed her?’ I stop backing up when I hit a tree. He stops descending on me when there’s no more than an inch between us. He reaches out and tucks a stray piece of hair behind my ear before settling his hand on my cheek.
‘It was you, my love.’
‘LIAR!’ I sob.
‘You killed her. It Broke you, but you did do it. You killed her, Lilly. You killed our unborn daughter!’
